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PATREON ASMR| "HEY ARE YOU THERE" CAMERA TAPPING, INAUDIBLE, INVISIBLE SCRATCHING
🕑 Added 2020-09-30 07:59:36 +0000 UTC*1 of 3 up close videos for the month*
🚨Remember, I have until the last minute of the last day of the month to get all 5 videos out. I have never not come through, and will continue to post the last few videos as they upload.🚨
Hey sweet friends!
How are you? How are you feeling mentally and physically?
Thank you for all the understanding on the slow wifi and the condition I'm currently in physically. I am beyond struggling right now....high flare of all illnesses and their pain, a shoulder that's gone out of place along with a tear in a muscle within the shoulder. and to top it all off, shingles! Which has brought on the worst pain I've ever experienced in my whole life.
This September/October it will be 8yrs that ive been chronically ill.....This time of yr always brings high emotion of mourning what my life was like before pain, what it was "suppose" to look like, mourning all ive lost due to my conditions+pain. And not to mention all the medical trauma ive insured throughout this time....all the friends/family I have lost and lost as a child because no1 understood(but the truth is no1 tried. it was easier to disbelieve something they couldn't see and tell me to suck it up....)
With each yr that is added to this number it all feels more overwhelming that I start to forget what my body felt like before pain, and thoughts of if I'll ever feel that again. The truth is- ive been sick for so long that I dont know anything else, really....I got sick as a child and am now an adult, even more sick than I originally started out. Like I said-this time of yr always feels very heavy and that's 100% okay. I often get ask how how I stay so positive....and my answer is always "I have to have crummy moments, days, weeks, etc. to feel what I need to feel, so I can then get to those positive moments."so there's my little update on life atm. If you feel inspired to share, and feel safe to id love to see how you are doing this month.
So here's your reminder, babe to be gentle with your mind and body. Feel what you need to feel. Dont shove those feelings down.💕 Its okay to not be okay sometimes!☁️
Your mind and body are working so hard for you to be here in this very moment. I'm so thankful for how hard its working for you, my sweet friend to be here in this safe space with me. This world would NOT be the same without you in it! Theres only one and only you, and that's so special!
Thank you for all the sweet words around me not feeling well and the complete understanding on lack of description box writing. once I get to the point where I can type better I will be updating everyone and the description boxes as soon as I feel better. I love you and im so happy you are here in our safe space .
🚨Remember, I have until the last minute of the last day of the month to get all 5 videos out. I have never not come through, and will continue to post the last few videos as they upload.🚨
Hope you all are staying safe, being gentle with your mind/body, and wearing yo masks!!😷 Let continue to keep ourselves and those around us safe! Don't forget to wash yo hands as well!!🧼🤲🏻🤗
I continue to thank each and every one of you that are working during this time, no matter what you do! you are ALL so important, always!! My heart breaks and goes out to those that cant work during this time. I know we all are so drained during this very unknown time......I just hope to bring a moment of peace to your month. I'm so so blessed to have you here and with me during this unknown time.💜 My anxiety has been so so high this month with many different worries....You aren't alone, love.
I hope you are continuing to be gentle with yourself, and those around you. remember that your feelings are always valid-even if the differ from those around you! I hope you are doing some bits of self-care....no matter how big/little.
I love you all so much and continue to send love, light, and a bubble of protection over you, loved ones, animals, etc. Dont forget that this space is always here for you! You always have community here.
Comments
Harly Brickey
What is your illness?
Sarah james
Hi Maddy, before I start falling asleep I just want to say thank you for making this content, it helps me greatly in terms of quality and quantity of sleep and relaxing in general when I need it. I would like to propose u make another tier on Patreon same content just higher price because I think you deserve more and I'd like to support u more. I can't imagine the tone of medical bills you must have with getting check ups and maybe seeing specialist or for buying any medication or anything u need.
