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Chapter 173 Void

🕑 Added 2019-02-15 10:41:45 +0000 UTC

Comments

G. Harthane

I'm not sure if I remember correctly but I feel like that was adressed. It's removed from the Royalroad version but there was a reason :). Thanks for the input!

G. Harthane

Thank you for the feedback :)

G. Harthane

Thanks!

mallix

A bit of a plot hole for me is why didn't the person who killed eve clean out her documents or burn them or something? Otherwise a very good set of chapters

Samuel McCabe

its hole body thin to allow for faster movement = it's whole body, and he could've sword he saw tears = he could've sworn he saw tears.

j0ntsa

ilea was a drift when that family got slaughtered and she kinda got 'revenge' someway when she helped the shadow hand squad to kill those elfs.. and why she was drift was the mine thingie...

Agreed. It's really off-putting that she completely loses her shit over Eve yet people may be dying literally minutes away and she doesn't care at all. Ironically I think she'd come off as a better person if she cared less because it would just mean she's jaded/numb to death and bad things happening rather than not caring at all unless they happen literally right in front of her.

Darcy Lessard-Patola

I liked it. It fell like she realized that bad things could happen to people she care about. She knew about it before, in her head, but not in her heart. I still kind of hope the next time she go see her necromancer friend they tell her she has a ghost following her around and Eve make a comeback.

Arkeus

Re-reading previous part, I think there is a huge gap between what she feels for Eve's death and pretty much how blase she is about anyone else dying around her. TBH my feelings there were that Ilea is a freaking asshole

Deinos

I kind of liked it, but I'm also comparing it in my head with how the guy she slept with and his family were killed and her reaction there. Of course she knew Eve better than him so I'm in between if the reaction was just right or too much.

Xwaderman

was from a google search.

Xwaderman

Lying back, Ilea looked at the darkening sky. Lying felt spelled wrong to me. You lie down, but you lay something down. Lie does not require a direct object. Lay requires a direct object. The same rule applies to laying and lying (not lieing—beware of spelling). The past tense of lay is laid, but be careful with the past tense of lie—there are two options. We’ll dive into them later.

sharkattack

I kept thinking that sneaky Illusion Mage was still alive and was going to pop out until the recent Author Notes.

j0ntsa

next 12 chapters gonna be test for author or more depending from many things what effects the MC

j0ntsa

remember she already get 50% less pain from things cause her class and her pain tolerance is high as fuk... and she will go rampage way or another.

Tsaimath

I feel it's a little out of character that she reacts to emotional pain with passivity, I would have expected her to go on a rampage and only stop once all enemies are dead, basically opposite of what you did.

The tone is good, it really reflects the shift in Ileas state of mind. The tricky part is going to be how you progressively lighten the tone as she recovers.

Athena Alexandria

I think this was a great way to represent grief in both chapters. I think the reveals emotional impact was stunted by knowing that Eve was dead before any of the other characters. But I think that can be easily solved by either trimming or editing the Eve POV chapters. I don't think they were wasted as they did add something, but it needed something else. Maybe if you really went for the Golden Lily mystery, gave the readers less information to get us really thinking. Keep us at the same knowledge level as Ilea, but still seeing Eve's journey.

Chopper

It felt soo GoooOoooOOoOoood. But it would have felt better if you talked about how the dirty, filthy, bloody water glistened off her pert and shapely breasts... But for seriously author san, have more confidence! A wondrous tale this be!

Chymor

I think people that doesn’t like Eve might find this force/too edgy.

Chymor

I liked both of the chapters, but I suspect it has to do with me really liking Eve. I always thought she was a fun and interesting but slightly unhinged character, with most of her issues hidden in subtext rather than thrown in your face.

Corwin Amber

I liked it too. Thanks for the chapters.

Håvard

I liked it, it feelt right.


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