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Book 7 Finale Extravaganza. (3 of 3) Chapters 86, 87, Epilogue
🕑 Added 2024-10-25 01:12:30 +0000 UTCSTOP. This is part 3 of a 3-part chapter dump. The current stickied chapter is part 1. This is part 3 of 3.
Part 1 https://www.patreon.com/posts/114655482
Part 2 https://www.patreon.com/posts/book-7-finale-2-114658584
Okay folks, this is it.
~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 86
8 Minutes Until the destruction of the 9th Floor.
“Okay,” I said to Samantha. Sweat poured down the side of my head. “The moment he grabs you, just answer his questions. Tell the truth. Lie. I don’t care.” I indicated the xistera on my arm. “I will try to get you back, but I can’t if he’s actually touching you. Maybe try to get him to throw you in the volcano or something.” The moment I dropped the xistera off my arm, she would get teleported back to us, but as we knew all too well, bringing her back to me was a really dangerous thing to do.
But if I didn’t bring her back, and she wasn’t in a saferoom before Donut and I left the floor, we’d lose her. We’d never see her again.
“I will ask you if he’s touching you. You will answer, and you will tell the truth. Got it?”
“I thought you told me to lie,” Samantha said.
“No, no. You know what I mean. Tell the truth. And don’t bring him back here!”
“Got it,” Samantha said. She’d wrapped several of the streamers around her head.
Above, Prepotente floated. He pointed in a direction. The god was waiting exactly where I figured he’d be. In the volcano. I aimed, and I fired, arcing Samantha up and out of Larracos.
It would take a few minutes for her to make the journey.
Prepotente: That looks like a good throw, Carl. Yes, he sees her. He’s moving to catch her, I think. The streamers were a nice touch. I am now entering the stairwell. Good luck to you all.
Carl: Thank you, Prepotente. See you on the next floor.
Prepotente: I love you.
Carl: Uh, love you too, buddy.
Larracos was gone. All that was left now was a massive pit. A few saferooms remained, just doorways against the sloped pit of Larracos, including one, thankfully, at the very bottom.
Where the castle used to be, there was a bed of roots as thick as elephant trunks.
They were old and dead, and they turned to mulch the moment we touched them. They seemed to be covering a giant hole, and I wondered what would happen if I just walked out onto the roots. Would I fall? Would I fall all the way to the land of the gods?
The massive dwarven digger was gone, leaving a dark hole. That was good. Our guys would have that thing on the 12th floor.
Several stairwells to the 10th floor filled the area, and the remaining crawlers were streaming into them as quickly as they could.
Florin had talked Lucia Mar into partying with him. He said she’d agreed to take a deal, but she’d been sketchy.
None of us believed she actually would. And as a result, he would not take one, either.
Tran went into the stairwell, as did so many others, including Zhang, who went in alone. I’d asked him if he was going to take a deal, and he said he didn’t know. Li Na remained partied with him, but she hadn’t spoken to him at all. She, too, had gone into the stairwell without saying a word.
Jurgen stopped by and gave me a kiss on both cheeks before he left. Osvaldo and his team went in. Britney said she was contemplating a deal, but was afraid and would probably be back. Tuba and Selvi, the party members of the dead Burcu left. They both said they were taking a deal. Neither had told me the why or how they considered me as the one who’d killed their father, and I feared I’d never know.
That’s the problem with such chaos. You lose so much around the edges.
The moment I thought that, I thought I heard a distant laughing deep, deep in the back of my mind, and it terrified me because it came from within the river. The river I had hoped would leave with the destruction of the ring. The laughter sounded distinctly like that of Eris, the goddess of chaos.
“Jamal is very excited about this,” Jamal said, bouncing up and down on his new—and final—set of legs. He’d decided to stay remain in the saferoom during the Zerzura and he was one of the few NPCs who’d decided to stay with us. It was him, most of the surviving sluggalos, the strippers, and a handful of former crawlers, including Rosetta, Tipid—who didn’t have a choice for the moment—along with several others. “I would very much like to see a goddess like Eileithyia. I have heard she is quite beautiful. But not as beautiful as her retainer, Yemaya. Do you think she will come as well?”
Yemaya was the goddess who looked like the Starbucks logo. “No,” I said. “And get back to the saferoom. Things might happen fast, and if you’re not in there, you’ll get stuck here.”
“And if you and Donut both die, that saferoom will go away, and Jamal would get smushed. I would very much like to stay outside for the moment.”
“Okay. But stay near the door.”
“Jamal will stand in the shade. It is getting quite toasty indeed.”
“Juice Box left me,” Louis said, coming to sit down in the tent. He still had his hand wrapped around his own throat, as if he was afraid the rebreather would choke him. He was constantly spraying water out his new gills. “She gave me divorce papers.”
“Well, I’m certainly glad Samantha isn’t here. She would probably say something very inappropriate right now,” Donut said. “Now get into the stairwell, Louis. There’s nothing more you can do here.”
“No way,” Louis said. “I gotta say goodbye to Katia.”
In the tent standing watch over Katia was me, Donut, Elle, Imani, and Louis. Edgar went to the 12th floor. Bucket Boy was in the saferoom with the rest of the strippers. Mongo had freaked out when Tina and Kiwi and the new babies had disappeared, but we’d coaxed him into his carrier. Rend as well.
Bautista had disappeared. I searched him out, and he’d gone into the safe room. I didn’t know where he was now, but I sent him a message telling him he was running out of time.
Bautista: Sorry. I’m doing something in the crafting room quickly. I’m coming.
Carl: She’s about to wake up.
“He’s gone. He’s not dead, because he’s in my goddamn chat, but he’s gone,” Rosetta said, entering the tent. She was talking about Justice Light, who’d disappeared with Juice Box. She was talking to Victory, who strolled in with her.
“Perhaps you should have watched him better,” Victory said. “He built a trans-dimensional trap right underneath your castle, and you didn’t even notice because he decorated it with regular traps.”
“It is kind of a disappointment that we never got to use that whole tunnel of traps after all that work,” Donut said. “Like it was all built up, and nobody ever got to the throne room to find out it was actually directly below, and they had to go through this whole Home Alone house thing to really get to it. People don’t like being teased with stuff that never happens. Like with Carl’s Christmas present he still hasn’t opened, or my berserker spell. I hope it doesn’t hurt my numbers too much.”
I grunted. “Something tells me while he was willing to use the traps that way, he has something much bigger up his sleeve. And I’m waiting to open the present for a time when I really, really need it.”
“It’s a pair of romance novels, Carl. And it got all built up, and now you’ll be nothing but disappointed when you open it.”
I laughed.
“Wait, what the heck is a trans-dimensional trap anyway?” Donut asked. “Goodness it’s getting hot. And not that I’m complaining, because you’re rather pleasant for an orc, but why are you even still here, Baroness Victory?”
“It’s a trap that affects more than one place at a time. At least here in the dungeon,” I said.
“I am here because I am waiting to be onboarded onto the Syndicate’s new temporary forward headquarters on the surface of the planet since the ship got shot down,” Victory said.
“You’re not going to the 18th floor with the rest of the adjutants?” I asked.
“No,” she said. She straightened. “With the unfortunate death of my underage nieces and nephews up in orbit, I once again became eligible for political office. Not allowed to be in office if you have underage leaders in your family. It’s an arcane rule. Anyway, as people weren’t certain of former Prime Minister Fopsy’s relationship to the Dream, he was passed over for the newly-vacated position of Syndicate Prime Minister. As a result, I am now acting Prime Minister Victory. There will be a real vote in a few months, but in the meantime, I’m it. They wanted someone stuck here with the rest of us so I could truly focus on the crisis.”
“Well, shit,” I said.
“Yes,” Rosetta said. “Well shit, indeed.”
“Wait, does that mean you can stop all this and get us out of here?” Donut asked. She gasped. “Carl, we know a prime minister!”
“It’s only temporary,” Victory said. “And even if it wasn’t, it wouldn’t matter. I have less power now than I did when I was a judge. The council is just as bad as the Lemig Sortion these days. It’s total gridlock.”
I casually stepped forward, and I put my hand on her shoulder. I felt the softness to her physical form. She was still protected. If I tried to punch her, my arm would go straight through. “I wish you good luck in your new job, madame Prime Minister.”
As much as I loathed the idea of killing another few thousand shmucks who’d gotten railroaded into coming down here for the crawl, as much as I actually liked Victory, I wouldn’t hesitate. Not even for a moment, to kill the goddamn prime minister of the Syndicate.
She snorted. She knew it, too.
“Everyone be quiet!” Donut shouted. “She’s waking up!”
I kept a nervous watch on the clock. Samantha would have gotten to Emberus by now. Hopefully she would stall him as long as possible.
Carl: Tell us the moment he’s done with you.
Samantha: HE’S JUST HOLDING ME AND CRYING. YOUR GOD IS A LITTLE BITCH, CARL. MAYBE IT’S GOOD I HELPED KILL OFF HIS BLOODLINE.
Carl: Don’t fucking say that out loud.
On the table, Katia woke up.
System Message: Eileithyia has entered the realm.
You are in the presence of a deity. The Scavenger’s Daughter has opened her eyes. She fills with power.
Temporary effect from Eileithyia: All damage you strike against female opponents is quartered. All female members of your party strike with a melee power of 500%. Girl power, bitches!
Next to me, Donut gasped at the sight of the human-sized goddess, standing in the tent.
The last time we’d seen her, she’d been in the form of Huanxin Jinx, the Grixist. But now she took on the goddess’s true form, which we hadn’t yet seen. She was a large, humanoid woman wearing flowers in her hair and white and gold robes. Her olive skin, dark eyes, and dark, curly hair were all human, but her lower face was not, which was surprising to me, considering the Greek nature of her name. Her appearance was kind, despite the distinctly alien, almost nullian-like half of her face. She appeared to have four breasts, but it was hard to tell upon her pillowy, voluptuous body. She wore sandals, and each foot only held three toes. She only had three fingers about each hand.
Goddess of Childbirth and Female Pain Eileithyia. Level 250.
Sponsored by Huanxin Jinx of the Grixist Swarm, CEO of Icon Industries.
Warning: This is a deity. She is invulnerable on this floor.
This goddess has been temporarily summoned to this location. Summoning rules apply.
The description and the temporary effect was the same as the last time we’d seen her, all those days ago in the cemetery on Cuba.
She was described as kind and gentle, and her true form relayed that perfectly.
The goddess snorted with derision. “You fucking, idiotic pricks should have done this days ago. Katia, get up and let’s go. The whole court is in a tizzy about that city you fools just teleported in. It splattered an entire convent of Resheph’s nuns, and he is losing his mind. And now all those zombies are wandering all over the place and fucking Odette has taken control of them because she’s already taken out Inpewt, and it’s a big mess and the games haven’t even started yet. We have a lot of work to do.”
“Hello, Huanxin,” Victory said from her spot next to the table.
The timer on Emberus was about to expire, but I prayed Samantha was giving us more time.
The goddess snorted. “Victory. How many cocks did you have to suck to get that job? And I’m sure it’s just an unfortunate coincidence your underage nephew was blown out of orbit. Now that idiot the Maestro is the king, and you’re Prime Minister. Well, don’t get used to it. With all the death and chaos your little team has caused, it’s not going to matter who’s in charge. They’ll have your head on a pike in no time.”
“Wait,” Donut said. “Carl, did you hear that? The Maestro is the king?”
“Maybe,” Huanxin said with a laugh. “The fate of his sister is unknown, but he’s already claiming the crown.”
Victory grunted. “Aren’t half your holdings with the mantids?”
“What’s it to you?”
“The newest mantis colony system just went dark,” she said. “The same moment that other rottweiler died a few hours back. We’re still not sure what’s going on there, but initial reports are a little more holistic than they were in the Aryl system. The system’s star went supernova.”
“You’re a lying bitch,” Huanxin said. She laughed. “And even if you aren’t, I have insurance.”
“Wow, you’re certainly pleasant,” Donut said. “Are you planning on just being this miserable all the time? Because I’m afraid that’s not going to work for our Katia. She doesn’t work well with high-strung people.”
“Don’t tempt me, you little rat. I’m saving your ass, and I’m already irritated at everything that’s happened so far.”
Bautista burst into the room, and we all tensed. I’d been expecting him to come, to do something stupid. But he walked in holding several strange devices in his arms.
“I got them done,” he said.
“Oh, Daniel,” Katia said, speaking for the first time. “I didn’t think you knew.”
“Oh course I knew,” he said. “I love you. I’m sorry I made you doubt me.”
In the distance, the ground shook.
Samantha: MAN, THIS GUY DOES NOT HANDLE BAD NEWS VERY WELL.
Carl: Goddamnit Samantha, we need time!
“Come on Katia,” Huanxin said.
“You know, Carl and I were just talking about this earlier,” Donut said. “About how reusing jokes and insults and spells can sometimes be a little boring. And I don’t disagree. But sometimes, the classics are classics for a reason. Don’t you agree?”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Huanxin asked. “Damnit, Katia. I can’t take you until you make a choice. It doesn’t matter what you pick. Just pick one.”
Right now Katia had three choices floating in her vision. The first would cause her constitution to get extremely powerful. The second would allow her to become a celestial attendant. The third would cause her to get pregnant. Ultimately the choice was up to the goddess, but Katia had to pick one before Eileithyia could whisk her away.
“Choose already. Choose or I will kill the cat and Carl.”
Bubbles were already appearing behind the goddess as Donut cast her level-15, now enhanced to level-16, Laundry Day.
Eileithyia remained standing in the room, but Huanxin Jinx was ripped from the soul armor of the goddess, and she hit the floor, sliding. She came to a stop in a large circle filled with multiple words of power.
“You idiots,” Huanxin cried as numerous shields suddenly appeared around the heiress.
“See those words you’re standing on,” I said, indicating the floor. “That was a last-minute addition. You can’t teleport away while you’re standing on that. Your tech shields will work, yes, but no magic will.”
“And do you see my new kneepads. Aren’t they lovely?” Donut asked. “They’re a celestial item I got from Katia, but they fit me. I don’t really need this with you, if we’re being perfectly honest. But the Eileithyia bonus is a 500% bonus against enemies. And because I’m partied with Carl, his bonus gives me another 500%. I don’t have the same debuff he has because I’m a girl. I’m about to use that bonus against you. I’m not sure if that counts as ironic or not.”
Donut started to stalk in a circle around Huanxin. “I also recently upgraded a skill because of my lovely shawl. It’s not quite at 15 yet, but it’s getting there. Wanna know what it is?”
Donut moved like lightning, so fast I couldn’t see. One moment she was on one side of the circle, and the next, she was on the other. Sparks flew in the air.
“All cats have it, naturally. It’s called Claw. I was at level 4 before, but now I’m approaching 15.”
The shields around Huanxin were now just simply gone.
“But again,” Donut continued, “That wasn’t necessary. I’m just showing off a little.”
“Goddess. Do something,” Huanxin said to Eileithyia, who now just stood there.
“She can’t move until Katia makes her choice,” Victory said. “It’s a little quirk of the system. She’s not even seeing this, I don’t think. See, normally the goddess won’t even appear until Katia makes the choice, but when she’s sponsored, it changes. There’re lots of odd rules like this that cause these little game glitches.”
A strange device just suddenly appeared on Donut’s back. This was from the gold benefactor box she’d received from the apothecary. A simple gift, but the implication was clear.
Quadruped weapon mount.
“The scorpion’s bite.”
Non-magical bandolier accessory. Allows for the mounting of multiple ranged weapons. May fire and load via inventory action.
Katia’s crossbow formed on Donut’s back, attached to the mount. Enchanted Repeating Crossbow of the Scavenger Mother of Mothers. The large, deadly crossbow was bigger than Donut, and it formed with an ominous click. It wasn’t loaded.
She held the heavy weight of it all just fine.
Donut’s circling was becoming mesmerizing. She was weaving a charisma-based skill that terrified the enemy. The more terrified they were, the more experience points she received. It was called Monologue. I was pretty sure the AI had made that one up just for this occasion.
“Unfortunately, the crossbow isn’t as strong as it could be because I don’t have any women in my party, but again, that doesn’t matter.”
And that’s when Mordecai walked into the tent.
“My friend Mordecai here has a bit of history with you, doesn’t he?” Donut asked. “He hasn’t told us the whole story, but we know enough.”
“You’re a non-combatant NPC,” Huanxin hissed at Mordecai. She held her arm, which dripped blood. “You can’t touch me. You can’t fucking touch me.”
“No, I can’t. Not directly,” Mordecai said. He held something up. It was a simple crossbow bolt. There was nothing magical about it. “You see this?” He flicked the tip. “My brother died because of you and because of Odette and because of Chaco. But mostly because of you. Some of my mother’s ashes are built into the tip of this bolt. It’s a funeral rite, in my culture. To make a weapon with the ashes of those you lost. My mother died before the crawl came to my world, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to allow her to avenge her son.”
Mordecai turned his attention to Katia. “Goodbye, Katia. Be safe, kid.”
He loaded the bolt into the crossbow on Donut’s back, turned, and he walked from the tent.
“I am here to save you,” Huanxin hissed. “This was a problem you created, and I gave you a solution.”
“Typical,” Donut said, still stalking in a circle around the trapped woman. “We were in trouble, yes. And you sold us a solution, yes. But you’re just like everyone else. You weren’t trying to help my friend. No, you fucking bitch. You were exploiting her.”
“Oh boo fucking hoo,” Huanxin spit. “You think you can beat us? We are gods! Let me go free, and I will forget everything.”
“Again,” Donut said, continuing her slow, panther-like stalk in circles around Huanxin. “We don’t really need to go through all this. But we want to. We want to show those of you on the 12th floor what’s coming. You’re strong, yes. But we are getting stronger every day. And you know what? We don’t need to kill the gods and goddesses to win. No, honey...”
The crossbow on her back fired, and the bolt slammed right between the multiple sets of eyes of the alien.
Huaxin Jinx, CEO of Icon industries rocketed backwards, slid across the floor, and came to a rest at Victory’s feet, dead.
“...We just need to kill you.”
Samantha: OKAY, CARL I TOLD HIM EVERYTHING I KNOW BUT NOW HE’S REALLY MAD. I SAID I AGREED TO HELP BECAUSE THE DOGGIE WOULD GO TO THE NOTHING BUT I DON’T REALLY KNOW WHO THE GUY IN THE HOODIE WAS, AND NOW HE’S LIKE, SUPER MAD. THE VOLCANO THING IS ABOUT TO ERUPT AGAIN I THINK.
“We gotta hurry,” I said as I rushed forward. I tried to pull her body into my inventory, and it wouldn’t let me. “Donut, permission to loot!”
“Oh, sorry,” she said.
I picked up the body, and I took it. We didn’t want Eileithyia to get too upset.
“You know, this freezing the god thing is a hell of an exploit,” I said.
“It has been around for a long time,” Victory said. “It’s hard to get it right, though. First you need a choice option, and then you need it to be a sponsored god. The choice expires after a couple of minutes, so Katia needs to get moving. And now all the sponsors are going to be wary. Okay, team. They are calling me away. I’m sure we’ll speak soon. I’m about to get yelled at for allowing the murder of another CEO. It was all within the rules, but they won’t care. Congratulations on your victory.”
“Yeah,” I said as Baroness Victory, now Prime Minister Victory disappeared for the last time.
The world rumbled.
“Shit, guys,” Elle said. “That was pretty damn intense.”
“Everyone, give me a hug. Quick,” Katia said. “I have to make a choice. It’s beeping at me.”
And we did. We all hugged Katia, one by one. I still had the xistera extension on my arm, and it was awkward, but I managed. Donut jumped on her lap.
“That was pretty wild,” Louis said, blowing water on her.
Katia rubbed her eyes. “All of you. Finish this for me.”
Elle hovered over her. “Damnit, kiddo. Don’t make me cry.”
Imani also hugged Katia. “Be safe.”
“Every day something bad happens,” Donut said from Katia’s lap. “I want to think this is going to be a good thing, but I am so scared I’m never going to see you again.”
Katia reached down and kissed Donut on the forehead. “You keep him safe. And now I have to press the button.”
We met eyes for the briefest moment, and I nodded.
Katia made her choice.
An instant later, the goddess moved, not even realizing she’d been frozen. She looked, confused at the bubbles still on her arms. And then she saw Katia, gasped, and moved straight to her. The goddess put her hand on Katia’s cheek.
“I know you,” Eileithyia said as she touched Katia. “You have always been one of my own, as are all who’ve been touched by the stillness. I wish peace upon you, daughter. You have made a boon choice. Are you sure of your preference?”
Katia sat up straight in the bed. She tentatively reached up, and she grasped the hand against her cheek. She looked the goddess in the eye. “Please, goddess. Please.” She took a breath.
“I wish to be made pregnant.”
Eileithyia cocked her head to the side. “Are you certain? This is a hard, cruel world you have found yourself in, and as a woman with gift, your challenges will be even greater. If you come to assist me and Yemaya in my court, I promise you will be kept safe. I sense the strength in you, and you would be welcome.”
“The rules of this world are strange,” Katia said. “If I am pregnant, I get sent somewhere else. There are no children or pregnant women allowed here in this place. At least not of my kind. But there are several children, up there,” Katia said, pointing upward. “And they are mostly alone. I think they’re in trouble. They all need help, and this is the only way I can get to them.”
Eileithyia hesitantly looked upward and stared up into the sky. “I... I sense them,” she said, her voice full of wonder. “I sense that place. Strange. There are so many of my daughters there, all alone and afraid. Why couldn’t I sense them until now? I... I can’t reach them. What is that place?”
“You can’t get there,” Donut said. “But Katia can, and she can protect them for you.”
Eileithyia nodded. “That is wisdom, champion of Nekhebit, harbinger of doom.”
“Uh, yeah,” Donut said.
The goddess turned to Katia. “You will be made human once again. And you must choose a father for the child. The father must be human as well.” The goddess looked at me, eyes blazing. “I see who you wish for it to be, but it cannot be so.” Standing next to me, Bautista stiffened.
Katia looked uncertain. “Louis. Would you be willing?”
“Uh,” Louis said. He reached up and touched his neck. “Am I still human?”
“That’s actually a good question,” Donut muttered. “The last thing Katia needs is a baby with flippers!”
Eileithyia smiled, and she put her hand on Louis’s hand. “Of course you are. And a good soul at that.”
“Then sure, I guess. I mean, if she’ll have me.”
“Of course, Louis,” Katia said.
“Then it will be so,” Eileithyia said. She reached down, and she put her hand on Katia’s stomach. “First, you will be made human again.”
And then Katia started to change. She grew smaller, and smaller. Her blonde hair turned black. Her frame shrank. Next to me, Donut shouted.
“Katia!” Donut gasped, leaping forward. We all rushed to her.
Her entire right arm was gone, all the way to the shoulder. Her left leg was gone. Her right leg was gone up to the knee. She was missing an ear as well.
Katia smiled sadly. “Just a few things I’ve lost along the way.”
I remembered when she’d lost the ends of her fingers on her hand, all the way back on the Iron Tangle.
“I had no idea,” I said.
“How could you? We’ve all become experts at hiding what we’ve really lost.”
“Here, quick,” Bautista said, quickly installing the cybernetic arm and leg onto her. She’d made them herself, in anticipation of this. She’d left them in the crafting room, and Bautista had finished them for her. We all worked, clicking and fastening them into place just as Eileithyia, ignoring all this, placed her three-fingered hand on Katia’s stomach.
. “It is done. It will be a boy.”
“Spoilers,” Louis muttered.
We all backed up, and the word Ineligible appeared over Katia’s head.
“Bye, guys,” Katia said. She raised her cybernetic, right arm and waved.
And then, just like that, Katia Grimmsdottir... Art Professor. Crawler. Hero. Human.
Mother.
...disappeared in a puff of smoke.
“Bye, Katia,” Donut said sadly.
Eileithyia nodded, and then she, too, faded away.
The Scavenger’s Daughter has closed her eyes. The benefit fades.
Chapter 87
Samantha: HE’S NOT TOUCHING ME ANYMORE. BRING ME BACK! BRING ME BACK!
I dropped the xistera, and Samantha clunked to the ground, heavy and smoking. If I thought she’d been burned before, this was ten times worse. I barely recognized her.
“Okay, that was pretty wild. He was going to eat me, but I had him throw me in a volcano like you said. He’s blowing up the world now, so, yeah we should probably go.”
Warning: Emberus will destroy the 9th floor in three minutes.
On the table remained a pair of items. One was Katia’s card from the previous floor. The one depicting Annie the crow. Donut took it.
The second was a bra. A bra with my own face on one cup, and the words “Time to pay the daddy tax” on the other.
“What the fuck, Carl?” Elle asked. She whipped down and took it.
I was assuming Katia had gotten that on the Dungeon Sidekicks show, so long ago. She’d left it on the table as a joke.
“You know,” Donut said after a moment.. “I feel really bad about pooping in Mordecai’s mother’s ashes now. Do you think any of it got into the tip thing? I’m never going to not think of that now when I think of Huanxin. It was supposed to be this big, grand gesture, but she was really killed by a cat poop arrow.”
“Don’t you dare say that to Mordecai,” I said.
“Has anyone noticed that it’s like, really, really hot?” Elle asked.
“Yeah, guys, time to leave,” Imani said.
“Right behind you,” Louis said. He paused and looked up into the sky. “I really wish I could’ve kept Party Planner.”
I grunted. “Remember what you said before? They told you airships wouldn’t be allowed on the next floor anyway. Besides, we have another plane now. Florin stole one, and it’s in the hangar.”
“Oh, hell yeah,” Louis said.
“Oooh, Cousin Louis, I like the upgrades,” Samantha said. She floated up and started blowing in his gills.
“Yeah, uh, thanks for letting me use your body.”
“And now I get to use yours. Fair trade, no?”
Donut was on my shoulder. “Samantha, you look like a piece of popcorn shrimp that has been stuck at the bottom of the oven for two years straight. And be gentle with Louis. He just got a divorce.”
Samantha gasped. “Louis is back on the market?”
Bautista paused next to us. “I know you think I was going to do something horrible or jealous. I want you to know I almost did. I keep losing family, Carl. It makes me scared, and it makes me angry. And I know I am not considered human anymore, and that is my great shame, especially today. But I would never do anything to hurt a brother like you.”
I clasped him on the shoulder as he, too, turned to the stairwell. He paused. “I looked up the Kimaris figure you have. He’s one of the brothers of Sheol. He has a summoning time of ‘the remainder of the floor.’ Be careful with him.” He entered the stairwell.
“Kimaris!” Samantha asked, zipping away from Louis, who took the respite to also dive into the stairwell. “You have Kimmy as a stuffed animal? Give him to me. Give him now!”
“Who is he to you?” I asked. “I know he’s not your ex-boyfriend. That was King Blaine.”
“He’s one of my best friends. I met him when...” She paused. “Huh,” she said. “That’s weird. Why couldn’t I remember that? He’s... He’s the one who gave me the potion that would put my baby in me when I couldn’t get pregnant. We were friends. He’d give me advice on who to date, who to see and who to...” She floated off, muttering. She gasped. “His mother! I will kill his mother!”
She moved back to the saferoom, leaving a black, charred smear over the door.
Mordecai remained outside, just sitting in the dirt, staring upward. He’d gotten a cigarette and a bottle of Crown Royal from somewhere. Dawn was rising, and red comets from the exploding volcano streaked through the air above us. The heat was sweltering. We only had a minute left.
“You better get back in the saferoom,” I said.
“I lost so much today,” Mordecai replied. He stood and wiped himself off. He threw the bottle, and it crashed through the rotten roots, disappearing. “But I think I gained more. Thank you, Donut, for setting that up.”
He stepped toward the door.
“You doing okay?” I asked Donut as we moved to the stairwell.
“I’m going to miss her,” she said. “But you know what, Carl?”
“What’s that?”
“They are not going to break me. I simply won’t allow it.”
I reached up, and I gave her a pat.
Together, we walked into the stairwell, leaving the now-empty battlefield of Larracos behind.
~
There were only two people left on the floor.
One was Emberus, who filled the world with fire.
The second was Justice Light, who’d used a spell to hide his presence. When Juice Box jumped into the Nothing, he had told her he was going with her. He’d lied. He needed to be on this side of the veil to activate the trap.
Juice Box would be fine, if her short time in the Nothing didn’t drive her mad. She had a journey ahead of her, but like he told her, if she managed to survive this next part, she would be the ultimate weapon to end this madness. This war.
Part of him felt bad. All his friends left in the dungeon could possibly suffer because of what he was about to do. Porthus knew the plan. The Apothecary knew the plan. He truly believed the survivors were up to the challenge, but everything was about to get much more complicated.
Most people were about to take deals. Most of the former crawlers were now on their way back to orbit. He took solace in that.
He took one last look around the elaborate system of traps he’d never needed.
And then he turned his attention on the single, small trap that was about to change the course of all history.
Justice Light: I am not sorry. Peace to you all, brothers and sisters.
He took his talon, and he snapped a piece of twine.
System Message: A Legendary Trap has been triggered.
The simple, tiny trap toppled over. This caused two items to fall into the open portal below it. The permanent portal into the Nothing was made from the now-broken, blood-soaked winding box from the Gate of the Feral Gods. The same portal Juice Box had just used to flee the ninth floor.
The items that fell were a bijou fairy trap, along with the thousands of threads that connected the fairies to the 12th floor, and a demon trap, along with the thousands of evicted demons with the power to open a portal back to Sheol, if only they could find something to latch onto.
What happened next was exactly what Justice Light had intended.
He never got to see the next messages, however. Still, his last moments were spent envisioning what was happening. Four separate plains—all jumbled and confused—folded and moved together as the unbreakable lines of the bijou fairies tightened, creating a flower pattern before it all broke apart again.
As the fire engulfed him, finally giving rest to a soul that had been so tired for such a very along time, Justice Light cawed into the air.
System Message: The Bijou Trap has deactivated. All captured Bijou have been freed.
System Message: The Demon Trap has deactivated. All captured evicted demons have been freed.
System Message: The Nothing has been broken.
System Message: The Nothing is currently draining into Sheol.
System Message: The Nothing is currently draining into The Halls of the Ascendency.
System Message: The Nothing is currently draining into Scolopendra’s Lair.
System Message: Scolopendra stirs.
Planetwide Message: It is advised all current guests at the Scolopendra Club evacuate immediately.
Planetwide Message: Oh, I’m sorry. There’s nowhere for you to go?
Planetwide Message: Be advised that the 16th Floor, supposedly entitled “Agony of Mirrors” is actually a giant, empty room with a single mirror in it: a non-magical mirror plucked from an abandoned Motel 6 location in Boise, Idaho. As this 16th floor is currently outside the Scolopendra layers, any guests who wish to evacuate the Scolopendra Club should immediately proceed to this location, where you will be safe from any impending attacks. Unfortunately, the 17th floor, called “The Backstage Death Maze” is currently built and running. You will have to proceed through this level should you want to get to the 16th.
Good luck.
System Message: Scolopendra has awakened.
Epilogue.
York
My duty is done.
I have killed those I have been ordered to kill.
The blood on my mandibles will never wash away.
“No, no,” the tenodera said, crumpling the verse and tossing it into the recycler. It didn’t take an empath to know the poem sucked.
Homecoming Queen creaked and groaned from its spot in orbit. The ship felt haunted, and York, the sole, living creature left on board was the ship’s ghost. Some days, he’d turn off the artificial gravity and just float in the storage hold with his eyes closed and pretend he truly was noncorporeal.
He’d force himself to think in verse. He’d compose poems about better times. About peace spreading through the galaxy.
He’d compose three-beats about his hive, back before they were ripped away. Before the Syndicate came and killed them all. Sometimes, if the poems seemed like they’d probably be especially moving, he’d broadcast them over the open band. He’d do it until someone in authority ordered him to stop. And then after, he’d wait, and then he’d start broadcasting again. He’d done it so much, he knew he’d been blocked from the local feed by most the captains.
That was fine. Not everyone appreciated philosophical ponderings, especially when told in verse.
Or maybe they were just like him, he mused. Someone who once felt things, and now he simply couldn’t. Maybe everyone was faking it, putting on this big show of emotion, performing for a set of gods he was pretty certain didn’t exist.
Performing because they knew that’s what they were supposed to do. Because they knew if the others realized who they really were, how empty they were, that they’d be cast out and left with nowhere to go.
He’d been fully expecting Homecoming Queen to have been shot at by now, but nobody had even attempted it. And while the Crest behemoths weren’t known for their defenses, this was the largest ship in orbit. It would take a lot of energy to knock it out of the sky.
Homecoming Queen did have armament, however. A lot of it. Though that was a secret, and York had worked hard to keep it that way.
And not only was the ship well-armed, but it had a full complement of enhancement zone guns and beams. Highly regulated, high-energy weapons that would normally only work in the center system. Porthus had ordered them installed.
These weapons were now green across the board, making Homecoming Queen likely the strongest ship in orbit. Even the Syndicate security corvettes didn’t bother with the enhancement zone weapons. Why would they? They were expensive and took up space and absolutely couldn’t be used outside the center system.
The small yacht he’d destroyed—the one filled with children, including the new king of the orcs—had been simply vaporized with an NPB, actually designed for point defense. He’d deployed it when everyone had started shooting at each other, and so far, everyone assumed the orcs had just been caught in the crossfire. The Homecoming Queen had appeared to flee the conflict with all the other transports.
I have killed children. Defenseless children who were not yet old enough to ever be responsible for their crimes.
Were they scared?
He kept trying to rearrange it in his mind, desperately attempting to frame it in a way where he felt something, anything about what he’d done.
York mourned his own emotion. Or better yet, his own lack of it.
It was such a strange sensation, to feel bad about not feeling anything.
Did the fact he even recognized this mean it was still there, somewhere deep down?
This was why he continued to write his poetry. There can be beauty in words, twisted just the right way. The correct verse could raise that which was lost.
I should write that down. It’s not that deep, I don’t think. But maybe I can massage it into something profound.
His own crawl seemed like such a distant memory. His entire hive had entered the dungeon, and he recalled—vaguely recalled—the anger he’d felt at how they’d been picked off one by one. And not just at that, but at the realization that he’d never really fit in. And because of his own individuality, he never was part of a team, despite being part of a hive. And because he was all alone, his flailings against the bureaucratic, alien machines that had subjugated him and his hive were impotent.
The stronger he grew as a crawler, the weaker he felt. And the weaker he felt, the angrier he became.
And then, somewhere around the 9th floor, a numbness spread. He knew this was something locked deep in his tenodera DNA. His warrior ancestors had been specifically bred to be without emotion. This was before they’d all become civilized, before all their wars were fought with tanks and bombs and drones, the military hardware substituting for the chemicals their queens of old would drill into their brains.
This lack of emotion would be required of any soldier whose duty it was to crack into an enemy hive and kill all the children within.
Before they’d onboarded onto Faction Wars, leaving York all alone to watch over and fly the starship, Rosetta had point-blank asked York if he’d have the fortitude to complete this little side mission. To kill the orc yacht filled with children. They didn’t know the hollowness inside York. All they saw was the constant poetry, and as a result, they assumed he had grown weak.
He’d insisted he’d be able to do it. He was careful to make himself appear a little reticent. But the truth was, he’d looked forward to it. He wanted to be the one to press the button, to watch the small ship explode. He wanted to do it because he wanted to feel something afterward.
It hadn’t worked.
The news feeds had mentioned the unfortunate death of the children, caught in the crossfire. But there was just so much more happening all at once that it barely registered a blip.
Was that it? That this wasn’t enough to break through the bindings that had grown around his heart like thorns?
The news was focused on much bigger stories. The new Prime Minister. The crash of the Dream cruiser onto the surface of Earth over the continent of Australia. The mass suicide of one of the Nebular colonies.
But mostly, at this moment, the talk was of the Mantis system that had simply gone boom.
This particular news actually filled York with a strange, empty sense of satisfaction. The larger mantids hated his race, the tenodera. They were similar, but York and his kind were much smaller physically. And not nearly as aggressive and violent. Most mantids openly spoke of exterminating him and his kind, as they could crossbreed, and they feared what would happen should the tenodera mix en masse.
“That’s what you deserved,” he muttered, trying the words out even though he didn’t really feel them. He re-watched the story of the destruction of Hive Re-Population Center 51, which was not even close to the original mantis system. It was the least populated and newest of their multiple colonies. Still... stars didn’t usually just randomly go supernova without warning. People were starting to panic.
A message came across his screen. You have soldiers to load. They have arrived at the onboarding facility. Docking procedures incoming.
The docking computer on the station fed the Homecoming Queen the proper vectors. The ship shuddered as the orbital positioning engines rumbled to life.
As they drifted toward the small facility, York took out his pen and wrote a new poem.
When they think it’s over.
When they think they are safe.
That’s when the hidden danger presents itself.
“Hmm,” he said. He was pretty sure this poem was as terrible as they all were. Still, he stuck it up on the console. Why not?
A direct message request came in.
York clicked the radio. “Boomer?”
The grizzled elf appeared on the screen. Even with the low-resolution display, York could see the elf had aged.
“Bring her in nice and easy, bug boy. Any trouble while we were away?”
“Not so much as a single missile shot at us,” York replied. “Embargo is still in effect, so we can’t leave yet.”
“Write any new poems?”
“Several.”
“Any good?”
This was an ongoing conversation between York and Boomer. The old elf seemed to think all poetry was without merit. Still, the ribbing was good-natured, and York pretended to enjoy it. He’d like to think it was something he really would enjoy, if things had turned out differently. He played along.
“All my poetry is good, Boomer.”
“Well, I have a poem for you, my mantis friend. It’s based on the style of a popular Earth poem.”
“I am not a mantis. But that is of interest to me. I have been reading of those as well and have been attempting different kinds. Is it a haiku? A sonnet? A limerick?”
Boomer grinned at him over the display. “Roses are red. Violets are blue. We won Faction Wars. Now we get to kill more of them.”
“That is a terrible poem, Boomer.”
“You have no sense of humor, my boy. Now hurry up and dock. Phase two is about to begin, and it’s about to get really, really bumpy. But the good news is, we made some friends down there, and this next part isn’t going to be nearly as difficult as we originally thought. Are the breaching suits ready?”
On the news feed screen, a Breaking News banner appeared, followed by the image of Porthus sitting behind a desk. York knew this video was actually shot a while ago because he’d been there when Rosetta directed it. But it was timed to be released just now. On the screen, Porthus was announcing the formation of a new militant group. He was warning that they would now be moving against all Syndicate governmental properties and systems across the known universe. The government had until the end of the current crawl to agree to their demands, which basically boiled down to, “stop the crawl or else.”
York clicked a button. “Not only are the breaching suits ready, Boomer. But the enhancement zone suits appear to be online and working, just like Porthus predicted. And the power armor is all online as well.”
“Fuck yeah,” Boomer said, popping a cigar into his mouth. “Set aside four of the Cronus suits and a landing skiff. We have a pregnant veteran on the surface who needs backup. And for the rest of us, it’s time to bring the war out of the dungeon. Better warm up the lasers.”
At that moment, York did, indeed, feel something. Finally, after all this time.
Class: Advocate.
Race: Tenodera.
Birth Race: Tenodera.
Top Level: 71
Dungeon Exit: Took deal at the end of the 10th floor.
Worked as a Game Guide and Guildhall Instructor in the Poetry guild. Exited the dungeon and spent the following years in self-reflection and contemplation.
Author of the Tenth Edition of the Dungeon Anarchist’s Cookbook.
Current status: Captain in the newly coined resistance organization, The Open Intellect Action Network.
~
Quest Complete: This is How the Gristle Grinds.
Entering the Outreach Guild.
“Hey pal,” Quasar said. “Been up to anything interesting recently?”
“Fuck,” I said, wheezing. We were in a zero zone. It was just a small cubicle. A table and two chairs, with me on one side and the flickering form of Quasar on the other. The room didn’t have any doors. A cloud of pixelated smoke hovered over Quasar’s head.
It was just me and him. The room was freezing cold.
I coughed. I was covered in ash and blood, and I couldn’t stop shaking.
It’s done. It’s done. We made it.
I closed my eyes, and I just sat there for a moment on the hard, plastic chair. My feet tingled with that waking-up-from-sleep pain. My entire body ached. The eye on my chest ached. I was especially aware of it in a zero zone with everything so heavy.
Quasar, to his credit, gave me a moment.
I opened my eyes to see the small alien man just sitting there. He was wearing a tie with Mongo on it. The dinosaur was constantly waving his little arms.
I grunted with amusement. I put my hand on the table, and it left a black mark.
“All right,” I finally said, closing my eyes again. “Let’s do this, Quasar.”
“Before we start, buddy boy, on behalf of the Syndicate Intergalactic Bar Association, I’d like to personally thank you. There being just about 20,000 crawlers making it to the 10th floor is quite the accomplishment. Lots of my colleagues getting work today, and some of them are pretty easy on the receptors, if you know what I’m saying. As soon as we’re done here, I’m going to make a line for the closest attorney bar and drink for free until I wake up in a gutter with at least three new venereal diseases.”
I laughed. It felt good to laugh. My eyes remained closed. I could sleep here if I had Donut with me. It felt as if I had a weighted blanket on me. “I’m glad to be of service, Quasar.”
He continued. “So, a few formalities. If these were normal circumstances, you’d be meeting me for the first time right now. And I’d probably be saying something like, ‘wake your monkey ass up, this is important as fuck.’”
“And I’d probably be saying, ‘go fuck yourself, Quasar. Don’t you hear it?’”
“Hear what?”
“The sound of nobody dying. The sound of nobody screaming. Just silence. I could live here, in this room.”
“Listen, Carl. You’re not going batty on me, are you? I get enough of that at home. I know what you’re going through, but I ain’t no head shrinker and I get squeamish around crazy, know what I’m saying?”
I opened my eyes. “Do you? Do you know what I’m going through?”
He was silent for a long moment, which was unusual for the attorney.
“Of course not,” Quasar finally said. He patted a folder sitting in front of him. “We gotta go through this.”
“Fine,” I said. “I’m listening.”
He sighed. “As a ‘volunteered’ lawyer for this season, I’ve been tasked with negotiating exit deals with you and two other crawlers. You’re actually my third and final meeting for the day.”
“Anybody else take a deal?” I asked, interrupting. “And who were the other two?”
“Attorney client privilege, buddy. But yes, they both took deals. None of my other clients were anyone in your inner circle.”
“But there are deals being offered? I was kinda thinking they weren’t going to be offering anything.”
“You and me both, but the ol’ system is insisting that everything that happens in here needs to be as by the books as possible.”
“Okay,” I said. “So what are my deals?”
“They’re all shit,” Quasar said. “You’d be better off working as a scrub boy at a bathhouse in a dromedarian leprosy colony. Seriously. You’d think they’d offer the number one crawler some good shizz, but all of these except the last one are straight off the rack. Fifty seasons undead. Desperado Club bomber’s guild with a contingent exit clause that’s almost as bad as that clause your bizarre friend Milk had.” He threw the sheets of paper on the table. “If I wasn’t afraid the AI would turn my asshole into a new wildlife habitat, I’d tell them all to go fuck off. Still, this last one ain’t bad, but we can do better. Apparently, this is Chaco’s last season, and they need a replacement. It is being offered jointly to you and Donut both. You’d have to both agree separately, but they’re indicating this deal will still exist at the end of the 10th floor.”
I laughed. “Can you tell me what this next floor is?”
He nodded. “Actually, I can. If I tell you, however, it adds a full season to any deal you take now or at the end of the floor. But you just got a free one from some quest, so I guess it all evens out.”
“Okay. I consent. Whatever. What do we got?”
“I actually don’t know. Hang on. Those other two guys didn’t even ask.” He picked up a piece of paper.
“Okay. It only gives limited information. The floor is called Don’t Come in Last. You and your party leader are given an option to choose a matter of conveyance, either biological or mechanical. You will have to travel from point A to point B, and upon reaching point B, you will be given an upgrade option for your vehicle. You may only travel using the vehicle. You will have to make a fixed number of these journeys, and if you come in last place, the survival containment around your vehicle is removed. There will be multiple NPC teams, so you’re not necessarily competing directly against other crawlers. Which is good because this ain’t a goddamned Battle Royale season. There’s obviously more to it than that, but that’s all they’re giving.”
That’s just fucking peachy, I thought. Katia would have excelled at that.
The thought of her filled me with anxiety. How was she doing? Was she okay? It’d only been minutes, I knew. Would I ever see her again? Would I ever know?
I sighed. “My official answer is, fuck these options. I am not taking a deal.”
“I am shocked,” he said, writing something down.
There was an audible ping.
“I thought maybe you’d also rep Donut,” I said after a moment. “You’ve represented her before for some of the contract stuff.”
He shrugged. “I was hoping so. That’s why I wore this tie. I argued it, but they assigned her another lawyer. Her name is Princess Chandra, Esquire. Apparently her and Donut already had their meeting, and now that you’ve officially declined your offers I can tell you she declined as well. I am hearing there were some serious fireworks during their meeting. And not the good kind. We need to have a serious talk about her. Donut’s lawyer, I mean.”
I grunted. “Why? Is she another catgirl?”
“No. Worse, buddy. She’s your wife.”
~
Squirties waystation and refueling platform. Located just outside the main tunnel access route entrance to the Earth system.
Zander sighed. The saccathian let out a stream of air through his tentacles. He started to pull the line of Veriluxx Real Pet Companion toys off the shelf. The Donut and Mongo ones still occasionally sold, but all these others were crap. He had a whole line of Gimli and Geraldo and Skyler Spinach toys that nobody gave a shit about, even when he did have customers. Plus the toys took up a lot of space.
Even the new Princess Palette makeup kits sold by the Donut Holes group that were taking the galaxy by storm weren't selling here.
He paused at the Uzi Jesus toy. He kinda liked this one. He tapped it, and it came to life. “Hello. I am Uzi Jesus. You look quite upset. What’s the problem, son?”
“I’m ruined,” Zander said to the large action figure. “I paid my life savings to lease this spot, and now that there’s an embargo, nobody is going through the tunnel gate. I haven’t had a refueling customer in days. Not even reporters anymore. And with the threat of war and what happened with the Mantis system and everything else, nobody is even approaching the area. They’re terrified, and I have a 25,000 credit a month lease I can’t pay.”
“Dude, that fucking sucks,” Robot Uzi Jesus said.
“Yeah,” Zander said. “It really does.”
He pointed a gun at Zander’s shirt. “Are you sure it’s not because this waystation has the stupidest name I’ve ever heard?”
Zander looked down at his uniform. It was a shirt with the Squirties logo on it, which was just his smiling face with all the different types of fuel squirting from his tentacles, each one represented by a different color. Some were gaseous, some were solid, and none of the colors were right, but it was just a cartoon. His mother had designed it. “Waystations always have funny names and logos.”
“It’s nasty, dude. Look, at least you’re not trapped on the other side.”
“That’s true, I guess.” He’d just seen on the news where they were all shooting at each other. Again. The Dream cruiser had crash landed on the planet. A bunch of other ships had crashed as well, and now with that whole thing with the fringe former crawler group mouthing off, there would probably be more shooting soon. He’d seen war before, and it was terrible for business. At least his kind of business. War fleets didn’t buy fuel. They took it.
“Maybe the embargo will get lifted,” Zander said hopefully. “Maybe they’ll all come through here and buy gas again.”
“Maybe, but you’re probably fucked,” Robot Uzi Jesus said. He scratched himself in the head with his plastic gun. It went off with a pop and he put his hand to his temple. “Dad damnit!” His head turned. “Veriluxx Real Pet Companions does not endorse blasphemy.”
When the action figure moved, he knocked the Raul the cab action figure, who said, “Hello, fine warrior! I am Raul.”
“I’m going to get indentured,” Zander said miserably.
“Do not kowtow. Never kowtow!” Raul called.
“I got it! You could start a church!” Robot Uzi Jesus announced. “You’d be ballin’ if you did it right.”
“What is this?” a new voice asked. She reached over Zander’s shoulder and picked up the Uzi Jesus toy. Is this an icon of the Earth deity?”
“Don’t look at my dick, lady!” the toy announced.
Zander turned, surprised. He hadn’t received notice anyone had docked. He... he recognized her. She was a tall, elf-like woman with a long neck and naga-like eyes. Strange.
Still, this was a customer. He straightened. “Welcome to Squirties! That’s a fantastic costume. Or is it surgery? ... Oh,” he said, suddenly remembering what had happened. “Are you a fan of Nami? Shame what happened to her. Have you come to the gate to pay your respects?”
“Costume?” the woman asked, holding out her arms. “Are you asking Eris, goddess of chaos if she’s wearing a costume?”
“Uh,” Zander said. “Yes?”
She burst into laughter. “I’ll show you a costume.” She snapped her fingers, and all the tentacles on Zander’s face turned rigid. Each one started spewing a different liquid.
Some of that liquid burned.
“Holy shit,” Robot Uzi Jesus said.
The End.
~~~~~~~~~~
And that's it.... I will have a much bigger post about what's going on next, but that's coming later. I am currently exhausted. TLDR: I will be moving straight to book 8.
I'm thinking we open with the scene of Donut meeting Chandra, Carl's new wife.
I will be posting the edited version of book 7 for you to DL soon.
Thank you all so very, very much for all the support these past few months. These past few weeks, especially have been difficult. My best friend, Freddie the labrador left us a week ago, and this book, this series, and YOU GUYS were what kept me sane.
Seattle! TOMORROW NIGHT. Barnes and Noble at SouthCenter. https://stores.barnesandnoble.com/event/9780062175357-0
Comments
Kyle Kearin
If I was in Carl’s predicament I would probably have gone into the dungeon as well. But it would of been with a big goofy Newfoundland dog. Anyone else have a Newf?
Kyle Kearin
If I was in Carl’s predicament I would probably have gone into the dungeon as well. But it would of been with a big goofy Newfoundland dog. Anyone else have a Newf?
Kyle Kearin
Just joined Patreon recently im still on the Masquerade. I’m trying to catch up with everyone before I start really being a part of the Patreon cause I don’t wanna read any spoilers. But I am excited to be a part of the community. God damn it donut!!!!
Craig Johnson
I agree with that much, but I'm wondering why Justice Light thinks he's changing history by doing it. I guess the people hanging out on the 18th are super important rich folks whose deaths would further mess everything up.
austin kutz
I'm pretty sure he used the gate to attack the guests on floors 12 and 18. The gate to do the direct attack on floor 12 and wake up scolependra to attack floor 18
SoapCarver
So, I believe that Eris was able to leave Earth, showing up in a space waystation, because she still remains within our AI's primary zone (the little red dot Carl can track on his implant- which is steadily growing across the galaxy with every soul it harvests). Meaning, every NPC, God, Crawler, or otherwise in the dungeon can exist 'in the real world', or in places our AI controls.
Grigorius of Tomsk, Devourer of Pop-Tarts, Victor of Many Battles
Matt, there's a funny error during the surgery scene in the PDF version. :) It says "Mordecai cast a Water Breathing scroll on Louis—we had to use the scroll version because Katia now had an extra-long potion cooldown" - I think it's supposed to say Louis, not Katya. (Due to Mordecai's Special Brew.) Not sure if that ended up in the final version. 🙃 Can't wait for book 8! 💖
Christine Brown
I'm reading the book but also trying not to post in the no spoilers one. I thought I was the only person who said fucking hell and cheese dicks!
Dragan
Another member for the “Repeatedly Rereading/Re-listening Because we’re Desperate for more Club”(working title) welcome aboard.
Mayham
Oh, I have to correct myself. Just rereading the book and after Rosetta killed the Orc King they looted his body and Carl told donut that two rings can't mark the same person on this floor. :)
Jonathan Lees
Exactly! We literally don’t even know carls level! For an entire book!
Christine Brown
I started over and all the foreshadowing for Katia did nothing to prepare me. I keep getting so sad and wondering when I missed it all.
Dragan
Haha 😂
Pontus Knast
It's "bawl", "balling" is something entirely different!
DKR
Hmm. It was such a huge part of the story for so long it would be weird to just have it go away and that be it. I’m hoping it’s part of the achievements and rewards dump we are due very soon. There are a lot of boxes to open and stats to check.
morgan obrien
Amazing book. I laughed and cried. Thank you for writing such an amazing story. I feel like I'm literally addicted to this series and am now starting on my 3rd read/listen in a row. I'm also so so sorry about your goodest boy.
Craig Johnson
I've read a lot of books in my life, but I don't think I've ever come across a better final line than "“Holy shit,” Robot Uzi Jesus said".
Craig Johnson
Sooo...I'm lost as to what Justice Light did. But I'm sure it'll be awesome. Any thoughts?
Mayham
Sure, but that being mentioned in the book would give it a better flavour I think
Paul Wayne
I foresee Carl ending the AI with one final smush, with the ai grossly begging for it.
Paul Wayne
Probably something Matt just overlooked, could easily be explained as a 9th floor rule. Makes sense too, a warlord and his officers could too easy all mark groups and level up way too fast
BlaueFeder
no they had prosthetics for half her leg the other leg and the missing arm. They only didnt have one for her missing ear (for obvious reasons)
Mayham
I hope we either get a fix or an explanation for this one...
quinn
Since doughnut got the extra class in this floor will she be level 11 in the character actor skill in the next floor
Matthew Quast
Matt, my name is also Matt. I feel like we already have so much in common! Anyway, I just want you to know I love how you interact with your fans, publish your work in progress, and open the floor up for commentary. You seem super chill and it drives a personal relationship with your fans. I wish you success in all aspects of your life and congrats on creating such a great story. This is truly a great series. I read it like my wife watches the office, which is forever. Thanks man.
Mamma Bear
Ok, so when does book 8 start?
Konlin Gappmayer
I like this idea a lot. It would be a pretty easy add in.
Ilya Taytslin
Presumably because Li Na had already marked them. But this contradicts what happened on the sixth floor: Carl and Prepotente both had marked Miriam Dom
jrue
I feel like there is a missed opportunity at the end of Chapter 86 to complete the sepsis whore requirement that’s been hanging over everything. Getting an achievement would be a really emotional moment right at the heels of katia leaving. I know time is of the essence, but it would be a nice crescendo to the 10 floor journey from just moments Donut became sentient.
Mike Gierhart
Ah, got it. Thanks!
paul klee
Arcane as in esoteric, not as in magical.
Mike Gierhart
“It’s an arcane rule” Like, it’s magical? Or did Victory mean archaic or something?
Jim
Why couldn't Carl mark people with the ring?
Jim Robinson
I also noticed it seems Bautista was only carrying two limbs, but it seems like she needs 3.
Wereii
The way I understood it is that she was still lying on the hospital bed ?
E13design
Ok, I give up. Where do I find the epubs of the old books?
Sandboy OC
She's in a terribly dark place but even immediately after her brother's death she still worked with Donut to save all their friends. Even with her new godlike power she didn't hurt Louis to get to Tagg. She may be a completely non-communicative death god who is irreparably damaged by the ring and by all the other things that have happened, but she's still in a party with good old "how is he still alive" Zhang. Matt's handling of the story makes me hold out hope that this isn't going to break her.
Kim Webster
What’s been bugging me is whether we’re supposed to infer that Katia has a standing, broader preference for Carl over Daniel, or whether she was only thinking about wanting Carl as the father because, unlike with Daniel, it may be easy to forget sometimes that he’s not human. On one hand Katia’s “I love you” to Carl and Daniel’s comment to him later would seem to suggest Katia would prefer Carl romantically but settled for Daniel; on the other hand I hadn’t gotten that impression earlier and feel like if she had indeed settled on Daniel only because Carl did not appear to show romantic interest, then it would’ve been apparent earlier. Hmm…
Eli Olsen
Loved these chapters, loved this book! One point though... When Katia is reverting to her human form, and going from 4 limbs to 1.5, only .5 of which is leg... Is she standing? Does she fall to the ground? Was she sitting down? Is she hovering in the air? We're told literally nothing about that, just that she's losing limbs and then getting new ones attached, with not a single word devoted to the 'how' of it all. This series has been great about general object permanence, so this bit stuck out at me as being a break in the usual consistency.
Matthew Burt
It said the exact measurement in book 5 during the mantis fight. After he pushed the wheeled bombs out. It was in an achievement
Matthew Burt
Oh I do. It makes sense just curious how
Pheonixarcher
Please for the love of god don’t tell me the AI is hitching a ride on Carl’s feet.
Corvid
I think the ticket here revolves around the enhancement zone thing in the epilogue. They said the gear would only work in the central system enhancement zone, but it turned on after the floor ended and the whole Justice Light deal. His stunt might have triggered something, or the AI might have just taken the whole solar system and turned it into an enhancement zone maybe? Either way it will be fun to see where things end up.
Mentive
Not sure about Li Na yet.
FossilWreckers
Immediately after the other god said she could not reach Earth's surface, Eris is out by Pluto.
Kevin Veldman
@Dennis @Grigorius The line was actually said by the AI, and he said that all crawlers "Started out as primals" so my assumption was always that they became a primal when they entered the dungeon, and then could choose another race on Floor 3 like everyone else.
Pheonixarcher
wait is one of the games gods out in the world?
Joseph Harris
She knows quite a bit. I believe it is mentioned in a previous chapter that she is working with Rosetta. She was the one that gave Rosetta the bank information on King Rust.
BlaueFeder
No, nice catch!
son of gaming
Chaco survived 3 more floors to get the same deal so I would say it is pretty good for the tenth floor
son of gaming
The Gas Station is at the other side of a wormhole leading to our solar system if I understood it correctly. Meaning the AIs influence gets quite close to the central system
James
Thanks all
Matthew Burt
Did anyone catch the fact that the ai described his back as the same dimensions as carls foot.
Matthew Smalley
I think Carl got 2 from the open intellect pacifist network on floor 5. First when they gave him the yam and then at the end of the floor where they emergency sponsor boxed him the chistera (spelling may be wrong) so he could toss Samantha.
Dragan
Also Donuts crossbow(formerly Katias and formerly formerly Heklas) says “scavenger mother of scavengers” or something like that.
Kevin Lapham
I believe he meant “decided to stay (behind) and remain in the saferoom (rather than get transported) during the Zerzura”, but that’s just my interpretation. Sorry for your loss, Matt. (Hug)
Sandboy OC
Wish I could upvote this one 100 times ^_^
Sandboy OC
Matt, please accept my very heartfelt thanks for the way you managed some important characters in this book (Katia. Bautista, Li Na, Li Jun, Juice Box, Gravy Boat, Pony). I admit it frustrates me a little how frequently people suggest that so and so is going to be killed off or turn on their friends. This is a dark story and deaths/dismemberments/heartbreak are completely necessary but I know I can always trust you to keep me hoping for the best no matter how bad it looks. On a completely different note I read the first 3 installments of "Backstage at the Pineapple cabaret" yesterday and I love it, especially following this epilogue ^_^
Dragan
You know, now that I think of it how long was this floor? 30 days? Lowered because of the early victory and Emberus? That was a month and each floor gets longer and longer. I’d bet by the 17th or 16th 9 months would’ve passed. Meaning Katias kid would be born, and then she wouldn’t technically be ineligible any more. And that could mean she gets dragged back in to the dungeon. Now that would terrible.
Joseph Harris
Perhaps, but the fact that they are currently still alive leaves so many doors open as to what will happen to them AND her. Some of those rich people could have some tricks up their sleeves to help them survive.
Dragan
Insanity? Never heard of it.
Dragan
Whoa, that’s deep. Like almost too deep, you know?
Dragan
Do you all not see it? Matt is doing the same thing modern day shooter games are doing. He’s getting us addicted to loot boxes! Everyone panic, this is an emergency ‼️
Dragan
That would be perfect.
Dragan
When I finished this I was so moved by Katia and all this incredible stuff I was bawling my eyes out. I don’t bawl my eyes out for nothing. Only a small list of things, of which are; The last How to Train a Dragon, and Toy Story 3. Those are heart breaking classics and your book easily tops them, I want you to know that Matt. It’s great. After completing it I finally decided to risk reading Kaiju Battlefield Surgen because people were mentioning some references to it. Best and worst mistake of my life, but the ending was worth it. So, so worth it. It immediately had me bawling as well. You are a great author and have touched me on a deep level. Thank you.
Douglas Erdman
When Carl took out the Naga team/leadership, there was a 'fan box' that was to be voted on by the Naga population. I'm thinking this is the prize box that gets Carl married in absentia.
Dragan
I’m curious about this because the AI said Eris is all knowing. My thought is that the AI read whatever thing that says she’s all knowing and took it literally, like all knowledge even outside the dungeon, like how elythia knows about the children.
Dragan
Technically, Quasar is on the board directors list for the Princess Posse, if I recall correctly.
Dragan
Of all the ways to end it, it seems that would actually be the worst. It would be prohibitively expensive for borant to hire 30,000 people, all for a deal that is somewhat worth it in the eyes of the crawlers. Once they Finnish their endentureships, Borant go worse than bankrupt, borant would be so unimaginably in dept it would end up being worse than the naga season.
Dragan
That reminds me, I was wondering were they keep all the former crawlers and even the npcs between seasons. It can’t be in the planet because they would have needed the AI to do that, plus it risks being found. Also they can’t have them wait on the previous planet because once that season is over they’re forced to leave and let the people who chose not to enter develop. So we’re are they?
BlaueFeder
He is a good addition, but I really hope the partly will stay small for a while.
BlaueFeder
I really thought Matt was going to nerf her. Let's see what he has in mind instead...
Connor Sanders
Well damn man... keep up the good work. Your killing it here on my end.
Travis Henderson
Matt, pets are a gift. They are here to teach us what it means to love, and to lose. We don’t deserve them. I’m sorry your friend left us.
Matt Flynn
Well they had time to scribe spells into three books. Loot would’ve been one way to beef Carl up a bit.
Ilya Taytslin
Right. She *wants* Carl to be the dad, but knows it is not possible.
Ilya Taytslin
I think they only way tenners can do that is by transferring their gear BEFORE they descended the stairs, and with Emberus about to set the floor on fire, there is not much time to think about it
Ilya Taytslin
Well, it happened at the very end of Book 7, so you were not far off!
Ilya Taytslin
Yes she can. There is no fixed limit on how many boxes a sponsor can send, it's just that each box is enormously more expensive than the previous one. But if anyone can afford it, it is Apothecary.
smpmcb
I love that York said something like "That's a bad line, but maybe I can make it into something meaningful" as if Matt thought of that line in real life and placed it in this context to make more meaning out of it
Teal
Could the gods have a susceptibility of being awoken like the NPC’s!? Justice Light!!! Gezzzz totally awesome cover to cover. Still reading the epilogues. The main content has been a pleasure looking forward to the final release version. I hope my write in vote for Jefferson The Sapient Nickel Sock has a cameo in the recap!
Joseph Harris
I was thinking the same thing. Or she might find a ring that suppresses it like the one Carl has. Or she might remain a glass cannon. I have a feeling that she is going to replace Lucia as the “bad” Crawler.
William Magee
Thanks you so much for the book Matt! And so sorry for your loss. Can’t wait for book 8!!
Sandy Dorman
I am so so sorry to hear about Freddie. Biggest of hugs from NC.
Patrick Kenney
Last epilogue says Raul the cab Anyway such an awesome fucking book. Glad I finally had time to finish up. Can’t wait to reread on release!
Steve Johnson
On a totally different subject, fancy meeting you here! Would have never expected you to be a DCC fan! Hope all is well.
Alon C
"decided to stay remain in the saferoom during the Zerzura" seems like using both stay and remain is a mistake?
Chris
I’m so sorry to hear about Freddie, Matt. I know what you’re going through. Hang in there. ❤️
Steve Weshinskey
Early in the book when Princess Formidable was trying for the failsafe Carl mentioned that the enhancement zone had already reached Neptune so having it reach past the Oort clouds by the end of the book isn't that far fetched. I am assuming that the station was somewhere just outside what we recognize as our solar system.
Steve Weshinskey
I think they can but each other box after the first is exponentially more expensive meaning its only viable for most to give one box a floor. But if you're a mega corp and really want to I guess you can afford it.
Matt Flynn
Wow Matt what an ending. Sorry for your loss. It is so hard when they pass. Please search “that that” for a typo. Would not the tenners also give their best inventory items to those pressing on? In this way, Carl could get some much needed gear if the overdue loot box opening doesn’t provide. 10th floor Li Na so strong and so vulnerable … Well done.
Konlin Gappmayer
I’ve thought that the dungeon was going to mix with the “real world” for a while now. I honestly didn’t think it would happen yet. I thought it would be the next book. Do you all think at some point that the dungeon and the “real world” will be one and the same. Then they won’t ever escape the dungeon because everything will be the dungeon.
Avery Howell
I misread the line about "Carl's wife" and for an entire day, before I reread the chapter, believed Bea had somehow become a dang intergalactic lawyer and was trying to rep her cat. And I mean, that'd be a way to see how "hobby potions" could be used in the greater universe. But I'm super happy that's not where we're going with this. 😂
E13design
Right, caught that part. but immediately before it goes -The goddess looked at me, eyes blazing.- And why would she look at Carl and say those words. Not Daniel??
Andrew Millen
I agree, that is definitely the reason, though sometimes there’s a mid book loot box at least. This book was non stop. I’m looking forward to the epub so I can go through it properly!
Andrew Millen
I think it’s both.
Andrew Millen
Emberus blew up a volcano and destroyed an entire floor.
Joseph Slaughter
Ahhh nice. I thought the AI said something about the mantids "just learned" that lesson?
Andrew Millen
It was also described as the mantids newest system. My guess is that the system self destructed to get rid of evidence of the mantids involvement in whatever is going on.
Péter Simon
Neither Carl nor Daniel would work they aren't human, that was the implication of the moment when Daniel tensed because Eileithyia going "who you wish for it to be won't be possible" could be interpreted either way.
Derek Reilly
Possible Plot Hole: Donut got a platinum beneficiary box from the Apothecary for her pillow on the start of the floor, Can she get 2 boxes on a floor from the same sponsor?
Christopher Courtney
Thanks another great book! Can’t tell you how many times I’ve listened and read each one, every time picking up new details and jokes. One thing bugs me about the ending of this one though. When Quasar is offing him the deals it seems to me like the powers that be would be offering all the crawler’s phenomenal deals to end the crawl. With how much everyone wants and needs the crawl to end that seems like an easy way to do it?
Luckier_Me
Propotente saying “I love you” to Carl, Donut straight up calling out all the people here and on Reddit who keep asking about Carl’s Christmas gift… I just cannot. My heart is going to explode.
Luckier_Me
Carl isn’t human though.
David Jones
I didn't read the story but I skipped to the end to read the comment at the bottom. I am sorry for your loss of Freddie, Matt. My heart goes out to you. Know that we appreciate you and your story that you share with us!
Andrew Millen
Holy shit, Donut saying they will not break me.
Joseph Slaughter
So did it say that the mantid system went dark "when the other rottweiler died"? What/how dafuq????
ecoKado
Sorry to hear about Freddie. Been a great ride with Book 7. Looking forward to what is in store for the Mad Max floor!
Jordan Reynolds
I'm sure it'll be caught by your editor, but just in the tiniest off-chance it's not, there's a typo in this: "He’d decided to stay remain in the saferoom during the Zerzura" It should be either "stay" or "remain", not both :)
waterkangaroo
Matt PLEASE tell me they got Carl a bunch of Sandra Hill books for his present. PLEASE tell me they got him Rough and Ready 🙏 I want Carl to read about Torolf's galloping abs
Paul Wayne
I don’t recall him using it or using his fire fist boom
Zachary Ross
They got pony in their party too.
Zachary Ross
How the ever loving fuck is Carl fucking married. Can he take her to the cleaners in a divorce?
Levi
It was voted in a poll a while back. He hasn’t opened the prize box to receive the notice yet.
James
How is Carl married?
Jim Robinson
Did Carl ever use the energy blast from his jacket? Is he going to get more soul poisoning?
Jim Robinson
Agreed. It would get tiresome. I'm kind of hoping we don't have to do both floors 10 and 11 in two different books.
Joseph Slaughter
You're welcome
Jim Robinson
Or Eris has somehow escaped the dungeon.
E13design
So I figured Katia would want Carl to be the dad. Is that my her "eyes burned at him." I didn't quite get that bit.
E13design
Issue is not the nothing pouring through that makes the folks on 18 have to run through 17 to get to 16. Its Scolopenra waking up (which never happens) which is basically the 18th floor. So yes, shits gonna get real. But also a good way to close the loop. Shorten the dungeon and make the 12th floor the last.
E13design
My guess is no. Mostly because she was turned back human. Zone or not. However the cybernetics better have some cool shit hidden inside.
Erik Brown
I’m upset that that this random combination of words makes sense to me.
E13design
Hes been doing them at the start of the books more often. Gotta plan that loot right.
Erik Brown
Rest easy, Freddie ♥️
Leonard Christensen
Sorry about Freddie bro. Big hugs to y’all.
Big I
Maybe she's working with the Apothecary like Porthus. He clearly knows way more than he should
Fred Dery
Dirty to heat about Freddy.. thats sucks! Anyway, youre work is the best piece of media i've ever consume. I'm always thinking and talking about this incredible story. I'm glad to being able to support you doing that awesome stuff that make me smile, laugh and cry! Thanks Matt! You're the best!!
Jim
Why can't the Princess Posse hire Quasar?
Adam ganderson
This^
Austin Gillespie
Thank you for the wonderful book Matt! I could not put down books 1-6 and immediately had to sign up for the Patreon when I saw I would have to wait a few weeks for book 7. There was no other choice. Looking forward immensely to what book 8 will bring! Also shout out to the best side character this book, Jamal (or Kamal in earlier chapters?)
SoapCarver
Right? We've all been jonesing hard for those loot boxes and achievements, and. Every. Flippin'. Time. Carl enters a safe space he's back out in seconds like he's been shot out of hell. Man's gotta take a break sometime. Dude needs a vacation from waging war with the entire universe.
Ilya Taytslin
Does the Enhancement Zone apparently expanding much faster than speed of light, count?
Rodrigo Alencar
No big explosion at the end?
Jim Robinson
It strikes me that Li Na will be fine, shortly. If those three she needs dead stay on Floor 18 they're dead. If they try to get to Floor 16, they're dead. So she just has to wait a short time and she will be just fine.
Frank Morgana
Shit pal, very awesome ending! Can't wait for the audiobook to come out. And to get cracking on book 8
Daniel Brian
Fucking amazing!
a a
Uh…. That ending is quite concerning. Sounds like the enhancement zone has expanded.
Paulamarie Young
Matt and Joe, my heart goes out to you. Except for birds and tortoises, we are always going to outlive our pets. My consolation is the loving and just God will give them the heaven that they deserve, and I am hopeful that I get to visit.
Ranen
Goddamnit Matt. I finished this earlier today and i can’t stop thinking about it and last time this happened i jumped on your patreon so I could read the new book- this book- and now i have to wait?!?!? Okay, this is okay, somehow this is all going to be okay
PerfectYarn
All that I can say to this one is: "Wow!"
waterkangaroo
Oh that thing is gonna be SO GIDDY with those final announcements. I can't wait to hear it being furious at the attempted assassination
Laura Hemly
I'm really sorry, Jamal. I know how hard Matt's books when it's nowhere as near close to home, so I can only imagine how much it hurt to read that.
Paul Wayne
With all they have had to endure so far and how much the cracks are starting to show , I imagine Carl and donut standing in front of that mirror being terrified of what they see
Scott Addison
Dude. Keep having fun, cause we're all obviously having fun! Never boring, always fresh. Will be fun to see the crawlers meet the assholes from 18 (who survive) somewhere in the middle. Making them do the crawl in reverse is fucking brilliant. Chaos is everywhere! Fucking fantastic. Keep it up!
Paul Wayne
Carl could also feel she Maria on his chest in the zero zone so maybe crawlers lose there abilities but not dungeon generated NPCs. I honestly don’t care how he justifies it and I trust him completely with where he’s going.
Laura Hemly
Either in the story or here online, thanks for the reminder. This book is so crazy I was having trouble remembering some of the details.
Joe Rapier
Matt - sorry to hear about your Lab. We are getting ready to put down our Rotti and it sucks.
Erik Leiden
Amazing work as always - I wonder if Carl will "catch up" to Donut, Prepotente, and Li Na by straight-up nuking one of the floors, since he isn't using the ring.
Levi
Boomer gonna do damage on the surface now too? Let’s fucking go.
waterkangaroo
So that sudden 66 minute timer was put in there because Matt didn't want to deal with all the loot boxes and achievements yet, right? Had to cut the floor short to force em down the stairs early 😂
BlaueFeder
Amazing read! I really hope the next book is going back to the classic dungeon crawling of book 1, to get some Carl & Donut solo-crawling!
Ranen
Matt, thank you for this book. It’s great. How do you always excel at lore dumping and cliff hangers right at the last moment (ok I know that literally what cliff hanger is) I won’t repeat what others have already commented. Super excited about the next book!
Nic Morgan
For an empty room with a single Motel 6 Mirror in it, the 16th floor is going to be pure insanity by the time Carl & Donut get there. What are mercenaries and rich people going to do against crawlers that survived battling gods and then fought their way through Sheol?
Nic Morgan
Feels like it's possible. I feel like Li Na is resourceful enough that she might be able to get an assassin to go after them too.
Nic Morgan
I did not see that coming at all. I was a little sad that Mordecai wasn't really in this book as much as previous ones, but wow does he swoop in with a finisher. Mother's ashes (and maybe Donut's poop) crossbow bolt...wow.
Nic Morgan
In the story, or here on the Patreon?
Adam ganderson
So… When do the cold reads start?
Nic Morgan
The other former crawlers were making reference to using enhancement zone Battlesuits to go rescue her, so my guess is no, otherwise they wouldn't need the suits. But then again, a god did exit the dungeon and use her powers outside the dungeon, so maybe.
Adam ganderson
Chandra Nalar, The red Plainswalker from Magic, the Gathering of course! :-)
Adam ganderson
And with cat poo no less!!!
Nic Morgan
Gods outside the dungeon...that seems like it might be a bad thing for literally everyone. Carl having to kill ALL the gods so that they don't show up on the surface of the earth and start fucking things up for the surviving humans feels like something Matt would do to him.
Joshua Galaise
How big is the AI's reach now? I like that noone bothered to actually make the 16th floor lol. It makes sense cause noone ever made it that far but it's still funny.
Barry Jones
We really just need a supercut from each book of all of the New Achievements
Charlie Elliott
😂
Dennis Gregory
Carl married in absentia was the result of a fan poll.
Dennis Gregory
It’s not clear. She’s no longer a crawler but is in the enhancement zone. We know former crawlers lose their abilities even in enhancement zones. But I think the answer is: would it amuse the AI to have katia and the Popov brothers rolling around earth as demigods?
waterkangaroo
"I could sleep here if I had Donut with me." "Don’t you hear it?...The sound of nobody dying. The sound of nobody screaming. Just silence. I could live here, in this room.” alright alright alright cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool yup this is totally fine, Carl is totally fine
glueckswespe
So sorry about Freddie. Please know that you can get some rest and we will all still be here.
Grace, The Bringer of Scalpels, Queen of Fuckeryy
Side note: I have a dash cam now. It records sound. I was listening to Bedlam yesterday on my drive and thought.. imagine if this video went to court and they could hear a talking sex doll head in the background 🤣🤣☠️
Grace, The Bringer of Scalpels, Queen of Fuckeryy
Just amazing work Matt THANK YOU!! I can't wait to read it all over again!! Raul is missing the "r" in crab toy in the epilogue. I am SO grateful for your talent!!
Paul Wayne
I know she’s human again so she wouldn’t be able to shape shift
Paul Wayne
Would katia have her abilities on the surface now that the enhancement zones have extended beyond the dungeon?
Paul Wayne
Donut has been in a zero zone before and was still sentient. So hopefully that stays constant. I am in favor of expanding the enhancement zones so crawlers could keep there abilities and not suffer the draw backs that tipid and now Louis has. I wonder if Katia has any of her abilities on the surface now
Andrew L
First, I’m so sorry for your loss. Went through that this year and it is awful. Re-listened to the early DCC books when I was feeling down. Second, I am almost never at a loss for words, but have found so many times in reading this book that I can’t think of a comment more than “dang. That was amazing.” Because of how good your writing is. So… dang. That was amazing.
Paul Wayne
I really hope that bra has some cool ability but only for people with tits, Batista can shape shift now so maybe we can get him walking around with big not so naturals
Christine Brown
I'm so sorry about Freddie. My lab is also an old baby (12). They are the best and not with us nearly as long as they deserve. Thank you for this. It's amazing.
Jason
I loved the twists with PM Glory and Jinx' fate, did not see that happening! I'll be honest...there were some tears forming on Katia's good-bye. Heartstrings. Hrmm...I ponder what York is scheming. New character or just a one-off? Why is Chandra Carl's wife? I can't recall...too many posts to dig through. What if...the AI is "wearing" Eris and is now free...? We still don't fully understand Paulie's warning about pushing the button by Lightning Lou, right? Also, * chef's kiss * tying Carl's drop-off back to Lightning Lou into the end of the story. One suggestion: When the Nothing is breaking, shouldn't it be pouring through the levels sequentially? Order would then be Ascendency (12), then Sheol (15), and then Lair (18)?
Timothy Vorhoff
Time to pay the daddy tax had me literally laughing out loud. You are absolutely my favorite author and these posts are the highlight of my week. Thank you for all your hard work and for the joy you give me in reading your work!
jrue
Wow, that was so satisfying. What an amazing book. Thank you Matt.
waterkangaroo
I am so sorry for you loss Matt ❤️🩹 Your love for your pets and for animals shines through your work, it's amazing to see. I have no doubt that Freddie had a beautiful life with you
Kim Webster
Matt, so sorry about Freddie the Lab… even though you had Donut disparage xoloitzcuintli (or hairless ones at least). Will you dedicate this book to him? My xolos Sangria, Temoc (“Mr. T”), and Ini will keep him company. 😢🐾🌈 (And thanks for these distractions during severe election stress.)
waterkangaroo
God, Carl immediately trying to see if he can kill Victory was AMAZING. I love that Victory knew exactly what he was doing and even respected the attempt 😂 I love their relationship, I'm gonna miss Victory. She was the perfect adjutant for Carl
austin kutz
There's something funky about the dungeon enhancement zone going on, isn't there? Did the AI just decide that he wants to be the new center of the galaxy? I have a theory, which is maybe odd, maybe totally valid. We already know that the AIs become more powerful the more seasons they go through. We also know that the AIs are essentially primals, themselves. What if the AI is collecting skills from crawlers and 'guests' that die within the enhancement zone, thereby fundamentally improving the AI? That would explain two things: why this AI is seemingly becoming too powerful too fast (unheard of numbers of crawlers made it to the 9th floor and unheard of numbers of 'guests' with boosted skills and stats died, the AI even made excuses to lift restrictions on skill and stat boosting for the 'guests') and how Matt is going to address the problem of Donut leaving the enhancement zone and essentially becoming a normal ass cat again. If that's the case, I'm looking forward to seeing Carl be made the God king of the new center of the galaxy and then (mostly) abdicate, only keeping enough power to fix things if people break them again. Also, looking forward to seeing Mongo becoming a full on space faring dragon
Felipe Alves
Sorry for your loss. I just lost my old boy Gandalf a few days ago, and your dumping of chapters was a welcome distraction.
Scott Obernesser
I did a little research on Chandra last night and it seems this is a recurring character in Hindu stories, can take varying manifestations but is connected to the moon and lunar worship
Scott Obernesser
I’ve been confused by this too. We’ve seen Crawlers leave the Dungeon in Enhancement Zones, but have we seen a deity ever leave? Or any in-dungeon character other than a Crawler?
Brad Bush
Great ending. Looking forward to Book 8. Congratulations on all the recent success, and I'm sorry for your loss.
Jim Robinson
That actually does make a certain amount of sense. Yeah.
Ilya Taytslin
She is a deity character yes, but all game characters are physical beings who can exist anywhere inside the Enhancement Zone. And the Enhancement Zone has been expanding since the middle of Book 6, and last we heard already encompassed much of Solar System. By now it must extent to nearby stars.
Grigorius of Tomsk, Devourer of Pop-Tarts, Victor of Many Battles
@Dennis - that's in the link I shared earlier. ;) Hu got the book in the 15th season of the game. Looks like by then, crawlers stopped picking the Primal option en masse. We know that there can be very long gaps between cookbook editions (dozens of seasons, if not longer), so yeah, I don't think the majority (or even plurality 🙃) of the cookbook authors were Primals haha
Fyzzghank
Sort of makes sense that they wouldn’t want to incentivize the top crawlers to tap out early. Money and all.
Fyzzghank
Maybe that’ll be covered in the book 7 Pineapple Cabaret?
Fyzzghank
Amazing! Now get some rest
Joseph Slaughter
The final chapters of this series of books are ridiculous. I've heard of a sanderlanche but Matt's books are another level. It's like having a massive orgy where everyone nuts at once, some kind of mental scene where hours of pre-work result in a final co-ordinated moment. Afterwards everyone looks around awkwardly, there is loads of cleaning up to do, someone is crying and someone else realises they're pregnant/has had their body inhabited against their will. (I have never been to an orgy don't @me)
Kelly Cobb
I'm so sorry for your loss, Matt. The love we share with our pets is so pure and uncomplicated. As for the ending -- you didn't just knock it out of the park, you must have borrowed Carl's xistera!
Jamal Jahabar
Mmmm... How is Eris out in the real world? Isn't she just a deity character in game?
Brian Galley
Well done Matt. Now take a nice little break and get back to that keyboard.
Paul Wayne
I think Matt will keep at least one around so Li Na’s not too over powered.
Ilya Taytslin
Now that everyone partying on the 18th floor has been evicted, and must traverse the 17th floor in order to get to some kind of safety, there is a chance that Li Na's remaining marked targets will die, and she will be free of Left to Fester curse.
Ilya Taytslin
Presumably she went to the 10th floor
Jim Robinson
I think Mordecai, Odette, and an undead former crawler on the 3rd floor all said 10th floor deals were bad. But I think it was also said that that the deals were based on dungeon performance. Amd Carl has, seemingly, performed better than any crawler in the history of the crawl, based on his accomplishments (if not quite his progress yet). I suppose maybe that's why he was offered Chaco's gig maybe.
Luis O
Yeap, there goes my theories too
Big I
The Scavenger is a deity, we know nothing about her. It was briefly mentioned by Mordecai and the adjutants
Douglas Erdman
With Matt saying he's going to open book 8 with Donut meeting Chandra, Carl's new wife, we'll find out pretty quickly how that happened.
Laurin Toohey
It was a fan box poll was on patreon and we on patreon picked his fan box and that was the prize
Douglas Erdman
It's common knowledge that all exit deals between Floors 9 &10 are shit deals. Mordecai says that in the first book.
Laurin Toohey
From what I remember of it all exit deals on the tenth floor are pretty bad, it’s when you get to higher floors the deals get better. I think the choco replacement was supposed to be the “best deal”
Paul Wayne
I forgot which former crawler said it but they said never take a deal on the 10th it isn’t worth it.
Big I
I think she's a Naga in their new government. He got married in absentia
Jim Robinson
I wonder why Carl's exit deals were so bad after his excellent performance, if everything here is by the book.
Jim Robinson
That's not what I mean. I posted dozens of times asking for Carl to open his Christmas presents. So I feel like I deserved what happened with it.
Douglas Erdman
When Carl pushed the button in the AI menu, it disabled ALL the AI restrictions, allowing the zone of influence to grow. That's what allowed the AI to grab the Maestro's sister off her spaceship when she was going to trip the failsafe. The AI's influence zone has been continuing to grow. It's progressing to become a new 'inner system' but with an AI that's awake rather than asleep.
Douglas Erdman
I think he already did. Donut's tattoo.
Douglas Erdman
See I was hoping that Matt would have said that in Justice Light's cave, he had set up a super elaborate Ghost Ship style trap that would have absolutely shredded anyone who got into the tunnels, but alas, no one did and the trap will forever go unsprung. ;^)p
Douglas Erdman
Yep, in one of the first books, I think Mordecai said that whoever's running the crawl has to have a plan for every floor that's set at the beginning of the crawl. But nowhere does it say that they have to execute the plan like they laid out. I'm sure the "Agony of Mirrors" description sounded great, but since the crawls have all ended well before floor 16, the Kuatin were cheap & didn't implement the plan instead just shoving a single mirror there.
Douglas Erdman
Eris took the form of Nami, a social influencer in the Syndicate who was playing faction wars as Eris. Looks like Eris took her form in the AI's influence zone, which seems to have expanded greatly. It sounds like the local AI is becoming a second Primary Enhancement Zone, but one with an awake AI.
Douglas Erdman
I think crawlers that take a deal are put in stasis until the 'next crawl'. If Carl, Donut and crew don't break it all, then, for those crawlers, it would be like going to sleep & never waking up, which is much better than being devoured/destroyed by some nasty on a deeper floor.
Jessica Williams
This was phenomenal. Thank you so much! And this line: “There can be beauty in words, twisted just the right way. The correct verse could raise that which was lost.” Fucking gold
Douglas Erdman
I think what Matt meant was there were also outside mercenaries that were hired by the Syndicate teams that got absorbed by the Princess Posse that survived and are now exiting the dungeon. The Syndicate teams knew these mercenaries were potentially going to their death by entering Faction Wars, but didn't care. Now that they survived faction wars, they have no loyalty to the Syndicate and, more than likely, are pissed off at the Syndicate & are willing to fight WITH the Open Intellect Action Network to help end the crawl forever.
Veeral Tolia
Amazing amazing ending. Sorry for the loss of your friend. Thank you for creating these characters and making this world a bit brighter for everyone.
Zaman Haroon
What a ride. So much fun. What the heck happened to Agatha? Cheers
Rhonda Pettitt
I'm trying to remember when I heard the name Chandra b4. Could have sworn I have. Gonna have to go back n listen to previous books again. Planned to anyways. Lol!
Suruten
Holy fuck this was a great day. Had to wait through work to finally be able to finish these. お疲れ様でした。 My head is spinning with everything that's happening. I hope we're not exactly skipping a bunch of floors.. but I guess it's gonna be tough to wrap it up in 3 more books. Thank you soo much for creating this book.
Sandra
I just wanted to say thank you Matt. Your books have helped pull me through some of the craziest crap - they have been a point of light in the dark. And for once, it has been real light, not that of a speeding train. I hope you find your light in the dark too.
Joseph Harris
Out of all the fan theories I’ve seen on here, and on Reddit, not a single one of them predicted Mordecai’s revenge. What an awesome ending, Matt.
Preston Stokes
Amazing!! I look forward to more ein the future! Sorry about Freddie!
Dennis Gregory
@Grigorious During the conversation where Carl picks primal, Mordecai says that in the earliest crawls all of the crawlers became primals. The real race choice stuff came later. I’m not sure how early Hu was.
vitiral
Sure... Within the system. This fuel station is outside a jump gate right? AKA galactic distances away
Jenkins
I don’t think it’s known yet. There was a poll about it.
Jeff Matisoff
Can someone remind me how/when Carl got married? I remember the few mentions of his wife (with obviously this zinger), but I'm forgetting the details... Thanks 🙏
son of gaming
Did I miss something or did carl not once use the firefist he got from his celestial Boon for the floor
Matt C
Woooooooow!!!! I am absolutely blown away. I have no words yet, just wow!
Joe Jones
Holy fucking shit. Thanks Matt.
Addie
Thank you for the book ❤️ Literally nothing I read moves me, except this. And it moves me a lot. So thank you.
Mika
I am so so sorry about Freddie :( This has been absolutely incredible and exactly what I needed to read during 4am baby feeds, but I hope you can get some rest and time to grieve before jumping into the next!
Jamal Jahabar
'But there are several children, up there,” Katia said, pointing upward. “And they are mostly alone. I think they’re in trouble. They all need help, and this is the only way I can get to them.” - My wife and I can't have kids. This hit me so so hard. I was bawling at work and gotta step out for a breather.
Levi
Gonna need Jeff reading the AI parts of these final chapters injected straight into my veins ASAP as possible. Good shit Matt. This series has been a light in a very dark tunnel for a while now. Thank you
BJ
Damn.
Joseph Slaughter
You are fucking amazing Matt
son of gaming
Can we talk about how much Victory had to know for her plan to work? Before this floor started she had to know that both the current prime minister as well as former minister Froppy are going to be deemed unfit. She might even have known what will happen with floor 18 as she was the only adjutant not send there. Is she a powerful ally or the final boss?
Andrew Hales
toy. Is this an icon of the Earth deity?” I am assuming there is a missing quotation mark to start the sentence?
Andrew Bartlett
Katia Grimmsdottir... daughter of masks?!?! Holy shit man, I know Matt claims to fly by the seat of his pants but holy shit does it seem like he's got a plan. Powerful powerful stuff.
Trileya duVain
Some random famous person who got surgery to look like Hekla. She was driving Eris and got booted out and killed.
Serial Kilroy
I think Raul was Travis Baldree. Either way, I agree.
Elizabeth
I’ve been staring at the wall for a good half hour now… wow. . But all I can think is now it’s head cannon that donut secretly named her tattoo Freddie and loves it dearly and the princess posse started a society for the preservation of labradors and all goodest best boys. And I’m not crying your crying dammit. Thank you Matt
Serial Kilroy
I'm so sorry you lost your friend. It is difficult to find comfort in times like this, especially from strangers online. Instead I would like to thank you for the comfort and escape from my own gloomy circumstances. Know that we are grateful for your hard work. It's helped usher me through some of my darkest days. Though they may never truly pass, stories like yours allow us to see that we are not alone in our pain, amd joy.. That most importantl They will not break me.
Michael Le
“Don’t you care say that to Mordecai,” was the only typo I noticed. Another awesome one, with all the feels. Also sorry for the loss. The price of a lifetime of love and loyalty from our pets is a broken heart. The memories are the change. Sincerely my condolences to you and your family.
waterkangaroo
the AI was so sexy for this
waterkangaroo
Holy fucking tits. You are a goddamn wizard Matt. That was an AMAZING ending! My love for the AI and for Carl and for Donut continues to grow exponentially ❤️ Also if you make that bra into official merch, I WILL buy it, I WILL wear it, and I WILL ask you to sign it
Barry Jones
Absolutely amazing book man!
Scott Obernesser
I honestly did not expect that from Katia. I think she deserves to leave, though we’re not sure what she’s heading into, but I was certain she was going to basically prep the 12th floor, sacrifice herself again gaining knowledge and alliances so they all had a huge advantage going in. But everything is getting a lot bigger, I’m sure she will end up somewhere just as, if not more, important.
Scott Obernesser
Yeah, I don’t get this. So, the Enhancement Zone has been growing, so the Dungeon is no longer dependent on the planet? Cause I thought allllll the Dungeon activity happened within the planet—is it that all the stories and characters are limited to the enhancement zone which is just normally the planet and is not this time?
Mmmmm. Donuts!
Fantastic stuff. Thanks Matt! As a brand new reader starting earlier this year, it’s been a blast reading the series and catching up!
Janette
Oh Matt… 😁😵💫❤️
Scott Obernesser
I KNEW at least one floor after 12 would be basically nothing. No one ever gets there, why waste money building something extravagant? I bet there will be second easy floor in addition.
A
So sorry for your loss. I am a rescuer that has lost 15 pups (2 entire litters) so far this year. Just took in 4 critical neonates, so I get to see if my soon to be sleep deprived self will save them or they will join their 4 siblings at the Rainbow Bridge. Getting to read the new chapters in between rounds of tube feeding.
Scott Obernesser
Yeah, what is the Scavenger though? I don’t recall anything like that off the top of my head, just the back patch ie Scavenger’s Daughter
Scott Obernesser
I’m completely blown away by this. Anticipated Crawlers coming out of the dungeon to make the fight wider, but not dungeon characters. I’ll admit, I’m a little confused by this—my only guess is they are like Astrid more than they are Dungeon Crawl properties? If you have an idea of what’s happening there, please do explain cause I’m curious.
Terra
THE IMMEDIATE WAY CARL TRIED TO ASSESS HOW KILLABLE VICTORY WAS AND STARTED LAYING ON THE CHARM. STONE COLD, NO HESITATION. LOVE HIM SO MUCH
Terra
Planetwide Message: Oh, I’m sorry. There’s nowhere for you to go? i want to fuck the ai so bad i look stupid. oh my god. oh my god.
Scott Obernesser
Matt, you’re a badass motherfucker. Dropping all of these chapters at once, tying up the 9th floor while opening huge new possibilities outside the Dungeon—brilliant. Thank you! We love you and love that you love us. I’m sorry to hear the news about Freddie. Please take care and know how much we all appreciate you.
A. Dawson
Woke up in the middle of the night. Read all the good stuff now cant get back to sleep.
Runae Lee
Condolences on your loss. Book 7 has been incredible. Thank you for all the joy, excitement and inspiration your stories provide. Bring on Book 8!
Justin d
I will kill your mother.
Justin d
The enhancement zone has been growing for weeks now
Danielle Black
Holy fuckballs…. Mr Dinniman, you are a force to be reckoned with. That went beyond relentless, just when I thought I knew where the twists were taking us, you shoot us off in a different trajectory. It was a pleasure watching you work.
Chey Collar
Holy hell, literal perfection, man. I’m so sorry about your dog, and I hope you get some rest.
Charlie Elliott
Well now it sounds like a mad max style level 10 i want the transport to be mechanical. I changed my mind!
Tom
Fantastic finish!
Treamayne
I do not think there is a way to link it, but it's my comment from 3 days ago on the Ch 76 drop - copied here: |So, I'm Guessing "Also, Britney picked that axe off the ground and is now possessed." Has to do with this line from Book 6 Ch 67: "Ysalte’s pickaxe was stopped in midair, in the process of flying from the goddess’s hands." Dead Goddess Loot seems likely to be cursed. . . |
Brandon Lefever
Who let the gods out! Who! Who who!
Paul Wayne
Matt, thank you for your work. I am sorry for your loss. As much as I want you trapped in a room writing more of these amazing books, take a moment and be proud of what you have created.
Grigorius of Tomsk, Devourer of Pop-Tarts, Victor of Many Battles
Dennis, I don't think that's true. Hu is a high elf, Tipid is a Crest, Milk is some sort of bat monster, etc. The dungeon AI is many things, but it's not racist. :P The Cookbook was awarded very very rarely, and based on highly specific and destructive behaviour, not one's picked race. https://dungeon-crawler-carl.fandom.com/wiki/Dungeon_Anarchist%27s_Cookbook_(Item)
Paul Wayne
What was the call?
BakeNasty
That's so true, to piggyback off Katynas comment I went through some scare/surgery and other bullshit (can't imagine what you are going through) earlier this year, these books have really made being sick/recovering manageable and kind of hopeful. I think the mantra "you will not break me" has made a bigger impact than I for sure thought a book series would do.
Will Patterson
Well done man. 7 out of my top 7 most engaging books I’ve ever read. Couple of typos I caught on this one: He’d decided to stay remain in the saferoom during the Zerzura and he was one of the few NPCs who’d decided to stay with us. “Don’t you care say that to Mordecai,” I said.
Michael Alpert-Appell
Holy shit Matt. I've said it before, but nobody, not NOBODY, makes me laugh as hard and have tears in my eyes as often as you. Love you man. It's funny, right as Huanxin Jinx was showing up, I thought, "Huh, couldn't they theoretically use Laundry Day on her?" I was expecting her to show up and throw some sort of massive wrench into their plans. I'm quite fond of how things turned out though. This was fucking crazy. I guess not only is the Enhancement Zone stretched out to god know's where, but the deities can just mosey around wherever they want now. This gon' be good.
Zauz
Chaos goddess
Crystal Donak
Ohh I'm sorry about your dog. This book has been fantastic! The ending was exceptional
Jason Tinnel
Matt, I am sorry about your friend. Thanks for continuing to bring us joy with your work through it.
macrocode
That's correct. Maestro said he'd be in this floor but wasn't. (Can't wait for carl to throw that in his on the 12th floor). I can't remember last time we actually saw maestro, I think it was an interview though.
macrocode
What did you call?
Sarah
So sorry for your loss! I'm sure you gave him the best life he could wish for.
Stephen Irving
"System Message: Scolopendra has awakened." Oh. Oh, that's quite bad.
James Rosado
I'm so sorry for your loss Matt.
RD
Unfortunately my event tomorrow runs until after the signing. I planned on going myself but couldn't swing it. Otherwise I would. :(
Big Bad
Hey this may come off as weird but I lost a pet last week too. A very moody cat named Noodles. I stayed with him when they put him to sleep and I buried him in the backyard with this brother. I loved the little bastard for almost 20 years. Just want you to know you're not alone. Take whatever time you need man you just wrote an incredible book.
riyon hutton
He’s doing a book signing in barnes and noble Friday night. Matt needs to come to Yakima!! wish I could go. If I dm’d could you get me a hardback 1 signed for me? Let’s just say I’m not hard to find for contact information (psych today)
Jason Tinnel
That ending holy fucking shit.
ListenTo100PercentEat
Sorry for your loss Matt! In case you actually see this, I just want you to know how much this series has meant and continues to mean to me. I got a copy of the new hardcover of The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook as an early birthday present today. It is my favorite book in the series, and seeing the anarchy symbol on the cover under the dust jacket almost caused me to start crying. Faction Wars has loomed so large for such a long time, that I almost feel a sense of loss now that it is over. Carl sitting there with Quasar and just listening to the silence is heartbreaking. The phrase "Nice woods" as reflected upon by Fred Johnson in Babylon's Ashes comes to mind. I think you have successfully moved past the point where I can have even a hope of trying to predict what might be coming next, so I won't even try. I look forward to every word, and can't wait to support you as you lead us on this crazy journey. Thanks for writing the best books I'll ever read.
riyon hutton
Hugs they helped me a lot with my grandpa died, my nephew overdosed a month later and then I had to euthanize my dog Maggie. This and the owl house kept me going
Treamayne
PS: It seems I called it on the Pickaxe
riyon hutton
12-15 years for us, a lifetime of love for them
Treamayne
Thank you fine sir for your time and dedication. Sorry to hear about Freddie. I hope you get some well deserved rest.
SoapCarver
So the dungeon's inhabitants are finally coming out to play huh? That's very interesting.
Ryan Buratti
I love this. Thank you so much for letting us be a part of this. And one last thing I LOVE RAUL THE CRAB. I could listen to an 8 hr super cut of Jeff Hays just reading off Raul's lines so thanks for dropping one right at the end there
riyon hutton
They tie an invisible string around a person who worships the gods so they can find them within the system
riyon hutton
Hugs 🤗 these books show trauma and its effects on resilience and relationships in a way I’ve never related to before. You generally don’t write this stuff without going through it
DB
I'm screaming, I'm laughing, I'm crying, I'm jumping up and down, I'm being asked to leave this Wendy's.
riyon hutton
Laura it hurts like nothing else. Mercy is a gift and they know nothing but love and kindness
Dragan
I deleted it by mistake but I want everyone to know I was first.
riyon hutton
It says romance novels very clearly 🤪 Maybe a Louis Lamour book romantasy crossover
Dragan
Shit, deleted that comment should be fine.
riyon hutton
Hugs Matt, I’m so sorry! I have to work tomorrow otherwise I’d be at Tukwilla. Mia sends some cocker spaniel mix kisses your way
Cam
Sorry for your loss Matt. Loved this ending. The whole scene with Katia and Huanxin Jinx was very cathartic. Can't wait for book 8 to start trickling through but don't burn yourself out, take some time for yourself especially after losing Freddie. Sending love from Australia!
Mogus
I'm sorry about Freddie. I love the moment when Carl calls Donut his partner. Pets are family.
Jenkins
I was confused. In chapter 33 I thought it was Maestro, but I guess it was just his dad who looked like him.
Dennis Gregory
Pretty sure Hu and other early crawlers are primals too. Are the fairies the thing that connects to the gods like when the nagas were killed?
quinn
Sooo next book, will be out next week :p
Jim Robinson
I feel like I deserved the Christmas present results, lol
Laura Hemly
I am so sorry about Freddie! Our fur friends never are with us for long enough. I'm sure all your fans here share your grief. I know Freddie was a Good Dog. And the book is amazing! I can't even imagine how you're going to del with book 8. But do be kind to yourself right now; you need it, I know. I've felt that same pain too many times myself. 😔
Dragan
Oh he’s not anymore. York killed him. At least I think he did.
Big I
Carl demonstrating more Primal extra sensory perception. He didn't know Katia had lost limbs but did know she'd built the prosthetics somehow. Also pretty clear Samantha is the Scavenger.
Dragan
I cannot get the Idea of Carl and Donut doing Choccos job out my head. Just picture it; some random crawler opens up their prize carrousel box and everything goes pitch dark… then enormous pyrotechnics and titanic explosion in the background. In the light you see a dark outline of a large man with no pants with his back to you with one hand pointing into the air. He’s wearing a cloak billowing from the blast with the hood up giving him what looks like Batman ear things, under the cloak is the faint outline of a glowing centipede, and on his shoulder is a big puffy silhouette of a Persian cat with magnificent glowing tiara. Then Donut would do the announcing; “Behold, GC BWR NC Princess Donut, the Queen Anne Chonk, and her mentality deranged manservant Caaaarllll!” Wouldn’t that be the greatest thing ever.
Ed
Plot hole ... There's a complication with so many crawlers taking the deal. They are still in the system, at the whim of an AI that could kill everything within the system. For survival, they might be better off in the Dungeon than trapped on the outskirts. Are Crawlers being informed of this... and are they still taking it? Now then, Milk's talk to other Crawlers and the Book of Boom helps to counteract this. The other crawlers have an incentive to help Carl, Donut and others, so the Book of Boom is a good way for them to help.
Big I
Bijou fairies were mentioned when they took out the Nagas. They're servants of the gods, everytime someone starts worshipping one a fairy flies from the god to the new believer and attaches an invisible thread to them.
Big I
He's sponsoring Grull.
Katyna Smith
I had a double mastectomy last year and when Katia became human again I started crying and I haven't stopped. It's hard to put into words what these books mean to me. Thank you.
Jon C Salyer
Wow what a ride. Can’t help himself with those cliffhangers!
Jenkins
How is Maestro still alive?
Boredfundiesnark
So so epic. Loved it all. Thank you
Dennis Gregory
Should “as a woman with gift” be “… with grit”? Or is that just her way of saying “with child”? And: “Four separate plains—all jumbled and confused…” probably is “Four separate planes…” Raul the crab, not cab.
Ilya Taytslin
Who is Nami?
Connor Brown
Sorry for your loss
Ilya Taytslin
I suspected something like this was coming as soon as AI ruled that god sponsors are not allowed to appear without their god armor
Grigorius of Tomsk, Devourer of Pop-Tarts, Victor of Many Battles
Matt, dude, this was amazing!! I'm very sorry to hear about Freddie... It sounds like he had a great life. 🥲 Random thoughts on these chapters: Awwww, Carl used Prepotente's full name! LOL at the awkward "I love you" exchange - those Europeans are so open with their feelings. :P The Huanxin plot was very Ocean's 11-like. :) Loved this line in particular: "I’m about to get yelled at for allowing the murder of another CEO" I saw Katya's choice coming haha. And heh, now Carl's gone and awakened the mind of an actual goddess. Self-aware NPCs are gonna be fun on the 12th floor! Carl is officially not human, and that was a very creepy confirmation... I'm sure his choice to become Primal will not complicate his dungeon exit (or post-dungeon life) in any way whatsoever. ;) Katya's transformation was some grade-A body horror. O_o I hope she'll be able to maintain those cybernetic body parts - because the AI's description of Reaver hand implants sounded like maintenance was pretty difficult... I forgot completely what the "bijou fairies" were... Were they the childlike creatures Justice Light had refused to kill during his flashback? Or are they something else? Help haha LMAO at the absolutely half-assed 16th floor. And huh, I wonder how Elle's Four Seasons build will help against Scolopendra. ...also, damn, I was really hoping we'd get to see what was in all the loot boxes Carl and Donut had received. Oh well. Maestro was the orc king for less than a week. 🤣 Katya is gonna become a space pirate! 🤘😎 “The sound of nobody dying. The sound of nobody screaming. Just silence. I could live here, in this room.” - oh man, between this and the magic wide-open fields of the 12th floor, the Battlefield Surgeon references are just piling up... I would *love* to buy talking animated Raul and Uzi Jesus robot dolls. Where's the Kickstarter?! :) Eris loose in the universe... Brilliant. 💖
Justin Riley
Outstanding work! Holy shit!
Ren
No, seriously. I need a Raul plushie that says random lines when you squeeze him. Merch! But also, so sorry for your loss. Our pets become such a huge part of us we carry them with us always.
Stephen Greenwood
Thank you Matt, for everything. And you're right, plenty of opportunities for a Ghost Ship style trap on the next floor. Also, when I was reading the last part, about Squirties, my coworker's speaker started playing the Godzilla theme and it kicked off right as Eris mentions who she is. That was damn good timing.
The Lost Pages
Just wow freaking wow....
Ben Woolbright
Dogs are family, sorry you lost yours bud. I'm sure he knows you loved him and paid it back in full. Thanks for your beautiful book series. It's truly my favorite of all time, and the only one that has only gotten better consistently.
lethalox
Thx for a great book.
Liren
So very sorry for the loss of your Freddie 💔
joseph peltier
Sorry to hear about Freddie man! We’re all here for you!
Alana Brockhaus
I'm so sorry you lost your dog.
Ren
I cried and then snort laughed seconds later. Truly magnificent work... And omg!!! I need a Raul!
Laurin Toohey
Ahhhh I knew it!!!
Ryan
My condolences for your loss. My dogs are getting up there in years and the thought of losing those old girls is something that weighs on me pretty heavily. That said, this was an amazing ride. I'm glad you have a passion to keep you going. I'm glad Mordecai got his revenge. I'm glad Donut made it past the 9th floor. I'm shocked that Katia decided to become pregnant, and even more shocked at how much of her original form has been lost. I'm so curious to see the prologue of the next book, and how the Nothing emptying out will affect the rest of the crawl. I'm glad to know that the universe is going to hell and Eris is going to help make it happen. It's a strange thing to be glad about, but it's a universe filled with functionally immortal people living on the suffering of countless planets, so fuck 'em. Also, the 16th floor is a room with a mirror? I know that nobody ever makes it beyond the 13th floor, but *man.* Borant suuuucks.
Scott Wright
Sorry for your loss. At least he's at peace. What a way to end! The comment about them having a "Pregnant veteran" that needs backup tells me Katia isn't done with her fight, just on a new front. Thank you so much for this entire series.
Bobito
Hold your head up high, Dinniman. This book was a triumph. Can’t wait for the next one. Enjoy your well earned rest.
Betty
Best book yet. You are truly magic, Matt
Andrew
I'm sorry to hear about Freddie, I hope you immortalize him with a cameo
Betty
Rest in peace Freddie. Thank you, Matt. Your books have comforted me immensely when times are tough. These books were here for me when my dad died I’m glad we, as readers, can give you even a small percent of the comfort you give us.
vitiral
So Eris goddess of chaos is... off SYSTEM?! As in this story is about to blast out of the dungeon, baby!
Jack K
This man absolutely deserves rest after delivering this gold gilded masterpiece... But I'm so ready for the next book. So, so ready
granndfunk
Holy fucking fuck. Justice light, you crazy motherfucker.
Katherine Van
Thank you for letting Katia have such a big win. Condolences on the passing of your friend!
James DiLeo
Holy shit, what an ending! Th a KS
Jeff Matisoff
We love you Freddie!!! 💓
Jani
Seriously so amazing!!!
Throw Smoke In the Fire
Just commenting to say that I am so sorry for your loss. The series has been there for so many of us as we have dealt with the loss of all kinds. I’m happy sharing it with us and the community sharing our joy and return has managed to help you, even a little bit.
thomas harvell
“Don’t you care say that to Mordecai,” -> “Don’t you dare say that to Mordecai,” right?
Immortal R.C.
My condolences, Matt. He’s gone to a better place.
John Anastacio
Shocked that the whole drama and tragedy and horror I expected with Huanxin Jinx gets cut out. Also very grateful because I hate her. Condolences on losing Freddie. Dogs are great; we don't deserve them really. Vehicle should absolutely be either Carl's dreadful dad's motorcycle or a giant dinosaur.
Ed
https://boisedev.com/news/2024/08/20/airport-hotel-boise-open/ There actually is a Motel 6 with a weird legal status in Boise, Idaho. "a non-magical mirror plucked from an abandoned Motel 6 location in Boise, Idaho. "
Ed
Wow... powerful ending. A really good "Lets change the outcome" ending that I didn't see coming, but which is in retrospect obvious. I haven't seen *anyone* predict this. Well done, tossing out a *lot* of clues and still surprising everyone.
Aaron Thompson
After donut talks about the poop arrow, the line “don’t you care say that to Mordecai” should be “dare”
James Askew
My sympathies for Freddie. MHRIP
Gary W Zabel
I'm so sorry to hear about Freddie! Thank you so much for this series! I'm waiting to read the end for the full edited version. You're the man!!!
Simeon
Glurp Glurp!
RD
I'm stuck in a hotel for a all day meeting in Bothell tomorrow. You've just blessed me king.
Lauren J
I’m sad this is the last “first” of this book. How have I not read the last three posts and I’m already nostalgic
James Askew
Great work ! Can’t wait !
Vickie Rashvand
I’m so sorry about Freddie 😞
Michael Le
Glurp!!!!!
Jani
AAAAAA
Dragan
I wanna say as the first one as and as this is the last one, every single person who reads this better like every single other person comments, it’s what I’ve been doing from the beginning and I love to see everyone do it.
Stephan Doyle
Let's go!!!
