BazilRacoondog
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July 2025 Summary
🕑 Added 2025-08-05 12:59:12 +0000 UTCHi guys. I deeply apologize for such a terrible month almost completely devoid of content.
July was really bad. It's not like anything serious happened in my life and I can't say I suffered from depression, intrusive thoughts or any other scary stuff like this but it was like a state of "mental anabiosis", I was living pretty much the same life as usual except being barely able to focus on my work or do anything.
Not posting even a single artwork in entire month is an exceptional case in my life. I don't know what can be the reason here, maybe it's all my broken sleep schedule getting worse and worse, it reached the point when I can't go to sleep earlier than 4am, sometimes it's even later and it became an everyday thing for me but maybe there's other reasons.
I went outside only three times in the last two months, well, I mean going farther than to a nearby grocery store, I haven't taken a bath for the last 13 days (which is especially bad at summer), couldn't answer a majority of my friends and ignored a ton of messages from people who already started worrying about me for quite a while, didn't check on socials much to watch the fandom's life and was even afraid to check on my Patreon all these days ever since the last post because I didn't want to see that terrible number of unsubscribed people, so it really feels like anabiosis, hybernation, hermitage or whatever you can call it, I think it says a lot about my state. I really got myself cut from the world recently even though it's not that I really wanted to, the same way I don't want to live a life without art and I didn't actually lost my passion for my ideas and yet I spent a whole month without it, it's a very weird state. Maybe that's some sort of a build up fatigue and burn out topped with sleep problems or something. But I think now I can finally start plowing through my stockpiled mail and go back to normal life.
And speaking of going back to normal life, I finally finished new commission and gonna post it right now. It was tough to do in my condition, the progress came in tiny slivers day by day and it felt like it will never end but now it's finally done.
Also a little remark, this month wasn't COMPLETELY devoid of art for me. I did a lot of progress with pixel art, I did a lot of it, you know, it's my comfort thing, when I feel low on energy (which was my common state recently) and prone to procrastination I start doing pixel art.
As a result, I got A LOT of material to share, it would be wiser to split it on several small posts and share stuff from time time instead of disappearing for a whole month and making people worry but I just wanted to make this post only after I finish new commission art but this day was never coming until only now.
There's nothing REALLY horny, mostly just a ton of new game assets, although one of my friends said it got him a bit turned on when I shared some bits with him so maybe some of you will enjoy it as well. Still, I know that pixel art is not the main thing people subscribe to me for even if it's something very horny so I still feel guilty like if I did absolutely nothing for entire month.
I bring my apologies one more time, it's sad to see summer, the best time of the year, passing by unproductively and all my summer art plans not getting fulfilled, it's sad to betray you who pay their subscription to get nothing, if only it was just a problem of one month at least but the worst thing is that it's going on for quite a while with my productivity gradually declining and I feel very concerned because, you know, my life depends on horny content, I make a living with it so I can't let this disaster to continue for too long. Thankfully it can't last forever and can't get worse than this month. I'm simply unable to spend whole two months without drawing horny content and I really miss it already so hopefully things gonna change in August at least somewhat.
Thank you to all the devoted fans which keep supporting me no matter what just because they love me, people often say they'll never leave me and it's very reassuring to know that I'll never be left completely alone with just a dime in a pocket but it's still not an excuse for slacking off like that, I still want this support to be rewarded so I'll try my best to work on myself better.
By the way, speaking of being afraid of seeing large numbers of unsubscribers, it turned out to be not as bad as I imagined again, by some miracle the number of my patrons remained nearly the same, some people went, some people came so it all got evened out, at least that's encouraging. The eranings level however got rolled back to May levels after a nice rise in July but with all the long absence of content this decline is pretty much well-deserved, I should be thankful that it didn't get worse and I need to put myself together if I wanna keep it from declining further.
Comments
tredain
Sounds a bit like you've been fighting some depression, am very sorry to hear you've been feeling so low and anxious. I hope this month treats you better
Bazil Racoondog
Thank you for all your words of support! It's very touching to hear something like that from a person who only just subbed to me, thank you for subscribing btw! I'll try my best to make you enjoy the first subscription month, although judging by all the likes you gave to my posts here you're already going to enjoy my stuff a lot :D
MonsterZero.LITE
Things happen in life, even the most minor of incidents can change a lot, you have nothing to apologize for, i hope you continue taking care of yourself in meantime, looking forward to more of your work especially as newly subbed, you’re splendid and i hope to comm you sometime
