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The Big Tits Club: Chapter 55

🕑 Added 2021-07-19 15:01:02 +0000 UTC

Comments

Bluedragonauthor

Let's circle back and tell me what you think after you've read 56.

Firefly

After some more thought, I don't quite like the end of this chapter. The real cliffhanger in my eyes is the break-up announcement by Zofi and I'd prefer to cut at that point. The news about her mother is both less impactful and somewhat foreshadowed (but that might just be me). When the chapter didn't end after Zofi's decision, I expected the topic to be explained further, instead the focus shifts to her mother and then it ends anyway.

Bluedragonauthor

Thanks! I'm actually okay with the "outfuck" one because it's off the cuff and doesn't have to be grammatically correct. The others I've tweaked on my copies for the final versions and will edit into here as well.

Firefly

There were a couple of mistakes in this chapter: -"Zofi’s dad pushed his face deeper into his forehead." -"that my Angel with the body built for sex could outfuck the entire BTC under the table if she really wanted to" should either be "outfuck the entire BTC" or "fuck the entire BTC under the table", right? -"Perhaps being able to concentrate on someone else’s problems made her focus on something other than her own," is kind of redundant. What about "Perhaps shifting her focus away from X towards Y..."?


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