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VIP-BTC2: Chapter 30
🕑 Added 2022-12-30 20:00:04 +0000 UTC-- CHAPTER 30: Kipona Aloha --
****
Lily sat up on the edge of Belle’s mattress, her heels perched on the bed frame with her elbows on her knees and her face in her hands as she sobbed in utterly abject misery.
I rushed to her, sat down beside her, and then gently drew her into my arms. My cute ku’uipo girlfriend immediately pressed her face against my chest and started sobbing even harder, but at least it felt like a cathartic release rather than my presence making her feel worse or anything like that. And I rubbed her back and shoulders and arms with both of my hands while pressing my cheek down against the top of her head and rocking us both back and forth a bit.
Eva’s head appeared in the open doorway to Belle’s bedroom, the movement drawing my attention to her. She merely peeked around the corner, her eyes wide with uncertainty. I expected her to draw back and disappear out of sight again, but instead she first took a single step into the room to reach for the doorknob before gently shutting the door to give us some privacy.
Gentle as Eva was, she still couldn’t shut the door with complete silence. The sounds of wood contacting wood and then the latch snicking shut made Lily pop her head up to look, and she started to slowly regain her composure as she sat back up, sniffled, and wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands.
Keeping my left arm wrapped around Lily’s waist, I grabbed a few tissues off the nightstand with my right hand and then handed them to her. She accepted them gratefully, blew her nose, and then balled up the tissues into a wad. I handed her several more tissues and let her keep wiping her eyes and blowing her nose until she’d made a bigger ball in her hands. And finally, she bowed her head with her hands in her lap, going silently despondent with no more tears left to give.
I gently pried the ball of tissues out of her hands and walked them over to the trash can by the desk before returning to a seated position beside her. Lily immediately wrapped her arms around me and buried her face into my chest once more. But at least she didn’t start crying again. And we remained like that, quietly embracing, for another minute or so.
Eventually, I spoke up first, intoning tenderly, “I’m so sorry about Belle.”
“Always saying ‘sorry’? The honorary Canadian has nothing to apologize for,” Lily mumbled into my chest before letting out a big sigh and then relaxing her grip, although she still kept her arms around me. Pulling back a bit, she shook her head slowly while staring at my chest with a melancholic expression, mumbling, “It’s not your fault that Belle’s not gay.”
I waggled my head and muttered, “Saying sorry was more of a sympathetic ‘I’m so sorry’ than an apology. As for Belle not being gay… well… It kinda is my fault, if you think about it.”
Lily knitted her eyebrows together for a moment, but then cracked a smile. And she pulled back far enough to lightly punch my belly. “You’re right. It’s you and your gorgeous cock’s fault that Matty’s Little Cumslut can’t imagine a life partnered up with a girl instead of a guy with a gorgeous cock producing all that yummy cum she craves so much.”
“Sorry…” I drawled.
Lily chuckled for a second. But a second after that, the smile on her face faded away along with the sound of her amusement. And she wound up sighing while shaking her head with that melancholic expression again. “If only it were as simple as craving Matty’s cum. I asked if she could be happy with me so long as you gave her regular doses. But it was never just about satisfying her cumslut urges. Belle wants a boyfriend. Belle wants a husband. She wants a Hallmark nuclear family: with a husband and kids all dressed in identical reindeer outfits on a Christmas card she can mail out to friends and the parents of her kids’ soccer teammates. And even if that husband doesn’t end up being you, it’ll still have to be some other ‘him’. Not a ‘her’ like me.”
“Aren’t we all a little young to be thinking about marriage?”
“That’s what -I- said!” Lily looked up at me with a world of confusion in her eyes. “We never even got together as a romantic couple or anything, so why in the hell did she feel the need to break up?”
I grimaced, took a deep breath, and asked, “Was there anything that triggered her today? Did you say anything that upset her?”
“What? Me? No. If anything it was that boorish asshole that must’ve upset her.”
A chill ran down my spine, and I suddenly stiffened as I growled protectively, “What boorish asshole?”
“Relax, relax,” Lily soothed before sighing. “We have no idea who the hell he is. Just some random lolo on the street. So Belle and I are skipping hand-in-hand down the sidewalk on the way home when this boorish asshole across the street yells some crap about there already being too many dykes in Berkeley. So Belle yells back that we like sucking dick just fine but that a greasy fuckwit like him can only dream of getting girls like us to ever suck his. Brah looked like he shit his pants, and we laughed about it the whole way home. Belle said she was gonna suck your dick as soon as she saw you, and I said only if I didn’t get my mouth on it first, and then as soon as we got home we came up here and started kissing and I thought everything was great but then all of a sudden she just rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling, and muttered, ‘I’m not a lesbian’.”
I winced and gave Lily an apologetic look. “How did it make you feel when she said that?”
“I didn’t feel anything at first. I was just confused and didn’t know what was going on. But then she looked up at me with this sad look on her face and said, ‘I’m not being fair to you.’ And then I asked, ‘What are you talking about?’ And then she said, ‘You want to love me, but I’m never gonna be able to love you back the same way.’”
I nodded slowly and muttered, “I see.”
Lily pursed her lips. “I never asked her to like… be my girlfriend or anything.”
“But it definitely seemed like you wanted her to be. At the very least, I know you thought of her as aikāne. I’ve heard you say to her, ‘Aloha au iā ʻoe, aikāne.’ You’ve said plainly, ‘I love you.’”
Lily looked ready to cry again. “I do love her.”
“Did she ever say it back to you?”
Fresh tears started rolling down my ku’uipo’s cheek. And in a quiet voice, Lily mumbled, “No. She didn’t.”
I took a deep breath and sighed. Lily started shuddering. The waterworks started flowing. I quickly bear-hugged her again. And the next thing I knew, I was rubbing her with both hands while pressing my cheek down against the top of her head and rocking us both back and forth once again.
What followed was a near-repeat of what we’d done before. It took a while, but Lily eventually cried herself out and started to regain her composure. She sat back up, sniffled, and started wiping her eyes with the backs of her hands. I held her with one arm while retrieving tissues with the other. And she spent some time wiping her eyes, blowing her nose, and bunching up the tissues into a big ball between her hands until she finally bowed her head with her hands in her lap, going silently despondent with no more tears left to give.
And then she kissed me.
Lily wailed in mournful agony while pressing her lips to mine. I felt her yearning need for comfort and held my ku’uipo girlfriend tenderly in my arms while kissing her back. And when she knelt atop the mattress to gain enough leverage to push me onto my back across the bed, I simply let myself fall back while cradling her smaller body against my side.
She started crying again while kissing me, and neither the crying nor the kissing stopped for a long, long time. There was nothing sexually passionate about our kisses; she needed comfort and love, not sex. And eventually she ran out of breath as well as tears, and she slumped against my body with her right leg thrown across mine with her face pushed into the crook of my neck while I stroked the back of her head.
At first, both of us panted for oxygen after such an extended makeout session. But as the seconds ticked by, Lily’s breathing slowed down and became deeper and deeper until I genuinely wondered if she’d fallen asleep on me. But when I turned my head fractionally to try and look down at her face, she tilted her head back to look up into my eyes. Her irises then sharpened. She propped herself up on one elbow. And then she lowered her lips down to mine once more.
This time there was a LOT more passion in Lily’s kiss. She crooned into my mouth with carnal need, and her tongue plunged into my mouth while her fingernails slid across my scalp. She attacked me with lustful fervor, moaning and groaning as she sat up, reached down for her sweater’s hem, and whipped the offending garment over her head. Her bra went next, baring her big, beautiful boobies to me. And a moment later, her magnificent melons crashed down onto my face when she draped her chest on top of me while reaching down with both hands to start wriggling out of her jeans.
When quite literally “faced” with such marvelous mammaries, I did what I always do: I grabbed on and started motorboating myself in them. I licked and I suckled while my horny Hawaiian hottie groaned and wriggled on top of me until she managed to slip off her jeans and panties. But then paradise was momentarily removed from view when she slithered down my body to start working at my jeans instead.
I didn’t ask any questions or try to dissuade Lily from her present course of action. I knew she was feeling lonely and rejected, and for me to do anything but welcome my girlfriend’s passionate lovemaking with anything less than eager anticipation would’ve been a cruel blow to her heart. She needed me in this moment - needed her boyfriend, her hoa kāne, to make her feel loved. So I merely ripped off my own shirt while she tugged my jeans and boxers down to my knees and then ducked her head to start feeding on me.
Had that boorish asshole been present he would’ve gotten first-hand proof that Lily liked sucking dick just fine, and she went a little loco with some of her most passionate, most aggressive fellatio ever. But her fervor didn’t last long - she was quickly consumed with a need to feel me deep inside her - and after ensuring that her hoa kāne’s “giant tree” was sprouting straight up to the sky, my cutie ku’uipo was quick to cram my cock all the way into her already-creaming cunt.
Lily fucked me with an unusually animalistic abandon. Oh, she’d always been an energetic lover: buoyantly bouncing up and down while waving her hands in the air like she just didn’t care, or screaming in joy while thrashing beneath me. But there were no exclamations of ‘Best! Day! Evar!’ or ‘WOOOO!!!’ this afternoon. She didn’t squeal ‘Yes! Yes! Yes!’ or cry out ‘Fuck me, Matty! Fuck me!’
She simply fucked ME with overwhelming madness, gripping my shoulders and humping herself on me harder and harder and HARDER until I was almost afraid her hips would bruise. She dug her fingernails into my skin, not quite scratching me with Eva’s Wolverine claws but still tightly enough to leave red marks by the time she was done. And there was an unsettling wildness in her eyes - almost desperation - as she stared down at me the entire time.
Her first orgasm came quickly, almost as soon as we’d gotten started.
Her second orgasm rapidly followed, even before her climactic cries from the first had died out. She lost the rhythm during that second climax, her spine arching and her hips spazzing. And when her body went limp atop mine, I planted my feet flat while palming her ass so I could take over with powerful upward thrusts into her pliant, pleasant pussy.
“Hngh! Hngh! Hngh!” I grunted while she went limp like a rag doll on top of me.
“Put it… in my ass…” Lily groaned into my ear, her eyes a bit wobbly and her voice weak. “I need… I need you… Please… Matty… Put it in my ass…”
I stopped my heaving for a second, caught off-guard by her request, but after turning my face to hers, I managed to mutter, “You’re not prepped.”
“I’m prepped… enough…” she wheezed, her eyes still wild despite her weariness. “Those orgasms… wiped me out. I love you… hoa kāne… I’ve wanted it… since the weekend… Please, Matty… Please… Roll me over… and let me feel you…”
Lily was on the verge of tears again, and for that reason alone I figured I should tell her this wasn’t the right time. But there was also such desperation in her expression that I feared rejecting her request would be even worse. I took a deep breath, resolving to at least try. But at the same time, I knew that if she showed any of the same kind of discomfort or pain she’d shown Saturday night, I’d call the whole thing off immediately.
I started by laying Lily flat on her back with her legs thrown over my shoulders so I could eat her out while simultaneously lubricating her backdoor entrance with Astroglide-covered fingers, first one and then a second. She crooned to the ceiling while manhandling her own boobs, and when I bore down on her clitty as a distraction at the same time I started shoving in a third digit, she clapped my ears with her thighs and cried out as she came. And then her body went absolutely limp before me.
Recognizing that there would be no better time for me to attempt insertion than the moments of utter relaxation following such an orgasm, I wiped my hands clean and then laid Lily down on her left side with her legs stretched out, her body in a capital “L” shape. Standing next to the bed, I fingered her clit with my right hand while guiding my mushroom head into position against her anal star with my left, expecting to force myself past significant resistance. But she merely exhaled slowly and opened up for me at my first push, accepting the first few inches of my turgid tool straight up her tailpipe without any trouble whatsoever.
And THEN she clamped up like crazy.
“HOLY OKOLE!!!” Lily exclaimed as her entire body tensed and she suddenly reached back with her right hand to plant her palm against my midsection and prevent me from entering her ass any further. She clenched her teeth and muttered several more words in broken pidgin that I wouldn’t have understood even if I’d heard it all clearly.
The expression on her face at this moment was identical to the expression she’d worn on Saturday night when I’d called off her anal attempt while face-down/ass-up in a row with Naimh, Sam, and Belle. So I was very much prepared to call it off again.
But Lily reached up to grab my forearm, tugging me towards her instead of pushing me away. “No, don’t pull back. Please… Don’t give up on me.”
“I’m not giving up on you,” I reassured her. “I just don’t think you’re ready for this yet.”
“I AM ready!” Lily insisted, tugging on my forearm again. “Please! I want to do this. I need to do this!”
“You don’t need to do this for me.”
“I don’t need to do this for YOU. I need to do this for ME!”
“Lily, this isn’t the right--”
“Matty, please. Please!” she wailed. Tugging on my arm again. “You’re already halfway in! Don’t give up on me now!”
Taking a deep breath, I nodded my acquiescence. Lily gave me a small smile and then exhaled slowly, forcing herself to relax. And as I felt the tension in her body start to bleed away, I leaned forward to ease myself a little further in.
Lily’s entire body clamped up again, including her colon. Her fingernails dug into my forearm, not quite hard enough to draw blood but enough to leave a mark. Several tears leaked out from her eyes to run down her cheeks. And I stopped my forward progress once more while she gritted her teeth against the pain.
Again, she relaxed and then tugged on my forearm again to get me to resume pushing.
Again, she clamped up after I pushed in another inch.
And then another inch.
And then another inch.
It felt like it took forever, and if her asshole wasn’t so tight and so hot, I’m sure I would’ve lost my erection halfway. But eventually I made it all the way inside, and Lily was sweating like crazy by the time my short and curlies pressed up tight against her buttcheeks.
She wore a perpetual grimace of pain with rivers of tears flowing down her cheeks, and I swore to myself up and down that I would NEVER do this to her ever again. Honestly, I didn’t want to be doing it to her NOW. It was the least erotic bout of anal sex I’d ever had in my life, feeling more like a test of endurance and torture than an act meant to bring pleasure to both parties.
But Lily had kept tugging on my arm, kept insisting that I continue, and I didn’t have the heart to turn her down. She was feeling dejected and rejected already. And even though I thought she was doing this for the wrong reasons - even though the phrase “not in the right frame of mind” didn’t even begin to describe it - I couldn’t let her fail.
I couldn’t give up on her.
And at last she’d succeeded.
Or so I’d thought.
“You did it,” I told her proudly while leaning over her body to give her a tender kiss. She was still in that capital “L” shape with her legs out to the side, but our height differential was such that I could easily lean forward to rub my lips against hers. And I repeated with a smile, “You did it.”
Lily hooked her arm around the back of my neck and stared up at me with fiery eyes. “Not yet, I haven’t,” she countered. “You still have to cum in me.”
I pursed my lips. “I don’t wanna hurt you any more than I already have.”
“You haven’t hurt me. Hurting me would be quitting before finishing the job,” she insisted, panting deeply for breath as if she’d gotten the wind knocked out of her. “I won’t lie: this isn’t comfortable… I don’t think I can cum this way… But I CAN say… that I fit my boyfriend’s big dick… all the way up my tight virgin asshole… And I WANT to say… that my tight virgin asshole… made him cum.”
Lily’s eyes were intensely serious. I knew there was no quit in her. For me NOT to cum would be the greatest failure now, and I nodded my acquiescence before withdrawing only two inches and then slowly burrowing those two inches back in.
Well… I tried to. She clamped right back up, and her palm instinctively shot out to my midsection, holding me at bay. And I grimaced, shaking my head slowly as fresh tears rolled down Lily’s cheeks.
“I really don’t want to hurt you,” I insisted.
“You gotta cum, Matty…” she pleaded, pulling her hand off my midsection and tugging on my arm again. “You gotta cum.”
She forced herself to relax. I recaptured the lost inches. And I reached my right hand between her legs to strum her clit and give her some distracting stimulation.
It helped. With a little manual manipulation, she was able to endure a little more. Lily stopped clamping up on me, and I was able to make short thrusts two or three inches in and out. It was still slow-going though, and I knew I’d never get enough stimulation on myself to cum this way. But the longer we kept going, the further and faster I was able to go.
At first, Lily stretched her right leg forward to give my hand a little more room to rub her. But after a few minutes, she kicked her right leg up and across my chest while rolling herself flat on her back. Raising both knees, she planted her feet flat against my chest to push back at me and help control the depth. When her feet relaxed, I pushed forward. And when she pushed her heels into my pectorals, I came to a halt.
At the same time, she furiously rubbed her own clit while closing her eyes and grimacing. Her tears had dried up and she very rarely clamped up on me anymore, so I figured her anal chute was finally stretching out to accommodate my monster. But the single best thing I enjoyed about making love with Lily was the way she looked up at me like I was the sexiest, most incredible, most desirable man on Planet Earth.
And she couldn’t do that while her eyes were closed.
“Look at me, Lil,” I encouraged while getting a better handhold on her hips with my fingers tucked under to feel her meaty bottom. I leaned forward against her feet, folding her in half so that she curled up like an armadillo with her knees pressed into the mattress to either side of her head but with her feet still braced against my shoulders. “Look into my eyes, ku’uipo.”
She opened her eyes, still grimacing and still furiously rubbing her clit. I could see the clear discomfort in her eyes, but I could also see her clear determination to finish her task.
“Aloha au iā ʻoe, ku’uipo,” I told her plainly. “I love you.”
Lily’s lips fractionally parted as she stared up at me in wonder.
“Mahalo makana… uh… makamae,” I said in broken pidgin, knowing I’d screwed something up but hoping that she appreciated the effort. “Thank you for this special gift.”
Lily’s face brightened, her asshole relaxed, and suddenly I was able to take full lunges.
“Aloha au iā ʻoe… I love you, Lily… Aloha au iā ʻoe,” I repeated, starting to speed up. She’d relaxed enough to let my big dick repeatedly pump in and out of her anal chute, but she was still incredibly tight. As great as the physical pleasure felt, it was the growing smile on my cute ku’uipo’s face that REALLY started to get me into it. And I felt the pressure of my orgasm building in sympathetic harmony with the way her face started to glow.
“Fuck meeee…” Lily crooned while reaching up with both hands to interlace her fingers behind my head. “Fuck me, boyfriend. Fuck my tight virgin asshole, hoa kāne.”
“I’m fucking you. I’m fucking your ass,” I grunted as I sped up.
She bit her lip cutely and grimaced just a bit at the increased pressure, but simply bore down and grunted while fingering herself a little harder. Curled up as she was, her ass thrust upwards with her knees against her mattress and her feet braced against my shoulders, Lily was helpless to resist my downward drilling. But there was no resistance in her feet, no counterpressure to push me back. And she took my heavy pounding with a smile.
“Fuck meeee… Is my virgin ass good for you? Is it tight enough for you?”
“So good. So tight.”
“For you, my lover. My first lover. My first everything. It’s all for you,” she crooned. “Take me. Take me. Take me.”
“Aloha au iā ʻoe… Aloha au iā ʻoe… I love you, Lily… I love you,” I repeated again, bearing down the final stretch. Lily grimaced again, and her ass tightened up a bit. I knew my thickness stretching her bowels to the breaking point meant that she wouldn’t be able to cum this way. But she could tell I was nearing climax. And from the way she grunted and tugged on the back of my neck, her expression made it clear she wanted to ‘grin and bear it’.
“Fuuuuck, Lilyyy…” I groaned as I hammered her poor little Hawaiian heinie. “Gawd damn your virgin ass is so fucking tight. It’s so hot. It’s so good! It’s gonna make me cum! You’re gonna make me cum!”
“Take me! Take me! TAKE ME!!!”
“FUCK! FUCK! FFF-FFFFUUUUCCCCKKKK!!!”
“NNNNNGGGGGHHHHH!” Lily grunted as I slammed down hard enough that her feet slipped off my shoulders. My body weight compressed the curvature of her spine even further, nearly crushing her little body beneath me. But she still grinned up at me with a sparkle in her eyes as she felt scalding hot jets of jizz spurting deep within her core.
“FFFFUUUUCCCCKKKK!!! FFFFUUUUCCCCKKKK!!! FFFFUUUUcccccckkkkkk…” I groaned as all of the remaining energy evaporated out of me with my final thrust, as if I were pouring out my very soul into the depths of Lily’s deflowered asshole. And when her legs slipped out to the sides, no longer keeping my body at bay, I collapsed completely on top of her chest.
“Nnnngggghhhh…” she groaned beneath my heaving bulk while wrapping all four limbs around my body and clutching me close.
“Uuuunnnngggghhhh…” I groaned as well, the note of deep satisfaction in my voice matching hers. “Holy fuck, Lil… That was incredible.”
“Mmm-hmm…” she murmured, stroking my spine.
“Aloha au iā ʻoe,” I wheezed, feeling utterly spent. “I love you.” I expected Lily to giggle, rub her cheek against mine, and hug me closer while telling me she loved me too.
But she didn’t. Instead she sighed and let all four limbs drop off my body.
And all she said in reply was, “No, you don’t.”
****
I picked my head up in confusion to look down into Lily’s eyes, but she pointedly kept her gaze away from me and towards the closed bedroom door with pursed lips and a pensive expression on her face. So I leaned my head over into her field of vision, only to have her turn her face to the opposite side and continue staring away from me.
Recognizing that an explanation would not be immediately forthcoming, I took a deep breath, and then braced my hands on the mattress for leverage to slowly extract my softening prick from Lily’s still-tight rectum. Having climbed up onto the bed for that grand finale of downward drilling, I stepped back down to the floor, pulled myself the rest of the way out of her ass, and then opened the nightstand drawer to retrieve the pack of baby wipes I knew would be there, along with several tissues.
Lily continued to ignore me when I tried to hand some to her, rolling onto her side away from me and putting her body into that capital “L” shape again. I sighed, got myself cleaned up, and then sat down beside her while gently caressing her hip and thigh with one hand.
“Please, ku’uipo. Please talk to me.”
“You don’t really love me,” she muttered forlornly, continuing to stare away at the far wall rather than face me. “Not like real love-love. Not like kipona aloha.”
I knitted my eyebrows together while pondering the new phrase. “I know aloha means ‘love’. But what’s kipu… uh… kipo--”
“Kipona aloha,” she finished for me. “It means ‘deep love’. Kipona by itself can also mean ‘intense’. And kipona aloha is the kind of deep, intense, romantic love that I’ve always dreamed about but could never really find. Not with the fumbling buggahs on da island. Not with Belle. Not with you.”
“I’m sorry about Belle,” I said gently. “I know she really does care about you, enough to try and nip things in the bud now rather than truly break your heart later on. And as for me, it’s still really early in our--”
“You don’t really love me,” she cut me off, shaking her head while continuing to stare at the wall. “If you did, the first time you said, ‘Aloha au iā ʻoe,’ to me would have been while we were out on some sweetly romantic date and NOT as an insincere desperation move to make me feel better about giving you my virgin ass.”
I blinked in surprise. “I didn’t tell you I loved you as an insincere desper--”
“Oh, please,” Lily scoffed. “Mama warned me boys would tell me they loved me as a way to try and worm their way into my panties, and some of them did. But I never thought you would be just like one of them.”
“I’m serious. I didn’t say it to try and worm my way into your panties.”
“Clearly, because you already HAD my panties off and were shoving your big baseball bat up my butt!”
“Lily, please,” I said gently, my tone asking for patience. I rubbed her thigh and caressed her ass with the kind of comfortable familiarity we’d long felt for each other. As far as I was concerned, Lily was my girlfriend, and I didn’t hesitate to continue touching her in such an intimately comfortable manner. “‘Aloha au iā ʻoe, ku’uipo. I do love you, and I’m not saying it out of insincere desperation to make you feel better about giving me your ass.”
Lily scowled as she glanced over her shoulder back at me for a moment before returning her gaze forward. “Please don’t toy with my feelings.”
“I’m not trying to toy with your feelings. I’m trying to express a genuine emotion of love.” I continued rubbing her ass, going ahead and planting my palm on her asscheek and giving it a healthy squeeze while bending over to kiss her upper arm and then nibble my way along her shoulder. Leaning over a little further, I kissed her cheek and then let my lips linger, clearly inviting her to turn her face to mine so I could kiss her lips.
After a few seconds, perhaps curiosity got the best of her because she indeed turned her face to mine. And yet she still looked a little surprised when I gave her a sweetly tender kiss.
“‘Aloha au iā ʻoe, ku’uipo. I love you,” I stated sincerely before wincing. “I’m… I’m sorry about my incredibly awkward timing of saying it for the first time while we were going through… well… while we were going through all that. I was honestly saving it for the next time we went out on a romantic one-on-one date, hoping we could find the sort of ‘perfect moment’ kind of time to say it like in the movies, you know?”
Lily stared up into my eyes in surprise. “Really?”
“Really,” I confirmed with a nod. But then I winced and sighed. “But then you and I haven’t gone out on any romantic one-on-one dates in a while, what with you and Belle starting to get closer and spend all your time together.”
“While you started getting closer to Neevie and spending all your time together.”
I frowned. “Were you jealous of the time I was spending with Neevie? I honestly thought you were happier to spend more one-on-one time with Belle.”
“For all the good that did me,” she scoffed.
I winced. “And then Isabela and Luna came over and the entire weekend sorta turned into a giant fuckfest and… I… I’m sorry. Perhaps I shouldn’t have saved it. I should’ve told you sooner.”
But Lily shook her head. “Actually, no you shouldn’t have. Don’t get me wrong: I would’ve loved for the first time you ever said ‘Aloha au iā ʻoe’ to me to have come during some perfect moment on a one-on-one date. When I stop to think about it: I’m glad you were saving it, because it would’ve made for such a better story for me to tell the girls than you saying it on some random Tuesday out of the blue.”
I furrowed my eyebrows, understanding Lily’s words but not the bitter tone in which she said them.
She sighed. “Thing is: if you stop to think about it, all that just goes to show how shallow our relationship really is. I love you. You love me. But do we? Do we really? Can you honestly say your love for me is truly kipona aloha? Can you honestly say your love for me is as deep and intense as your love for Belle? For Neevie? For Sam?”
My initial grimace seemed answer enough, and the way I started stammering, “W-well, I-uh, I’ve already said that--” didn’t really help matters much. And when Lily’s expression darkened, all I could do was say rather helplessly, “I’m sorry.”
“You really don’t need to say you’re sorry,” she muttered dismissively while looking away. “That was an unfair question. It’s not even Thanksgiving yet. We’ve known each other for less than three months. There’s no logical reason why your love for me could possibly be anywhere near as deep as your love for Belle, Neevie, or Sam.”
“That’s true, but it doesn’t mean I haven’t come to feel love for you in my heart. I have. I love you, Lily. I said I’d wait until I felt it in my heart before saying the words, and I feel it in my heart.”
But Lily pursed her lips, narrowed her eyes, and shook her head before repeating, “No, you don’t.”
“I do,” I insisted.
“You love what we do together. You love that I’m a horny little sexpot always eager to wrap my lips around your dick or sink my tight teenage twat onto your lala-hu. You love the way I look at you like you’re the sexiest, most incredible, most desirable man on Planet Earth. And you’ve enjoyed the feeling of freshly falling in love with a new girl given that your romantic relationships with the others are all… um… I don’t wanna say ‘stale’, but I think you know what I mean.”
“Definitely not ‘stale’,” I muttered flatly.
“Sorry,” she apologized. “It’s just that Belle’s talked about being jealous watching me fall in love with you for the first time and all.”
“I know.”
“It’s just that… Even if I give you the benefit of the doubt that you sincerely do love me, can you honestly say it’s kipona aloha? That you have deep, intense love for me?”
I took a deep, intense inhalation of breath while trying to figure out how to answer that question, and the act seemed answer enough.
“Thought so,” Lily muttered.
“It doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I’m really not being insincere.”
“Doesn’t matter. I don’t want to argue semantics anymore. You don’t feel kipona aloha for me. And I’m not sure you ever will.”
“It’s been less than three months. Everyone has to go through the shallow water first in order to get ‘into the blue’. Kipona aloha takes time,” I insisted.
“I know. I know,” she muttered despondently. Lily tucked her chin to her chest and curled up into a fetal position. I spooned myself behind her back, tucked my left elbow beneath my head as a pillow, and wrapped my right arm around her.
“There wouldn’t have been ANY way for me to say ‘I love you’ and have you believe it was up to the same level as the others this early in our relationship.” Taking a deep breath, I sighed and then repeated softly, “Kipona aloha takes time.”
“I know,” she repeated as well.
And for a long while, both of us went silent.
Lily’s sweaty body had started to dry out and cool in the mid-November air. I shifted myself to better cover her body with my warm, radiant heat, and she snuggled herself back against me. And when her breathing went slow and steady, I started to wonder if she’d fallen asleep.
But then she spoke quietly, “I admit: that was a good time for you to say ‘‘Aloha au iā ʻoe’ to me for the first time.”
“Really?” I asked. “Because a minute ago you seemed to be decrying it as an insincere desperation move to make you feel better.”
“I’m saying it was a good time because it made me feel better.” Lily sighed. “I know I’m all messed up in the head right now because Belle decided she’d never feel kipona aloha for me and then left. I know this wasn’t an ideal time for me to give you my anal virginity. That was MY ill-considered desperation move to try and feel like I was worthy of being your girlfriend, and I know I kinda forced you into going along with it when I begged you not to give up on me. Once I said those words, I knew there was no way you could possibly let me down.”
I pursed my lips and nodded. “You’re not wrong. But seriously, I won’t give up on you. I won’t give up on us.”
“I know you won’t, but at the same time, I know you only said you loved me because you were trying to make you feel better.”
“It wasn’t only to ma--”
“Look, I’m not accusing you of being insincere,” she cut me off. “But you can’t say you didn’t see me in pain, didn’t see me struggling to… to endure how much it hurt to have your massive dick stretching my too-tight ass, and then suddenly realize that telling me you loved me - in my native Hawaiian, no less - would help me get through it. It’s what you do, Matty. You adapt to become whatever the girl needs you to be. I pleaded for you to keep going, so you kept going. I begged you not to give up on me, so you didn’t give up on me. I needed you to make me feel loved, so… well… you made me feel loved.”
Her words said that I made her feel loved, but her tone said that I’d betrayed her.
“I am coming to love you,” I insisted. “So what if it’s not kipona aloha just yet?”
But Lily shook her head. “Because it never will be.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Now I understand why Belle had to break up with me.”
I blinked in surprise. “Um, what?”
“Now I need to break up with you.”
I blinked twice. “Um, what?”
Lily shook her head and then started scooting forward away from me. I released my grip to let her go, and she rolled up to a seated position before twisting her torso to glance back at my slimy semen starting to leak from her red-worn anus. The pack of baby wipes was still on the mattress, and she grabbed a few of them along with some tissues to start blotting up my spending. And as she matter-of-factly cleaned herself up with all the joy of an underpaid middle school janitor, she sighed and then muttered, “Thing is: when I stop to think about it… really think about it… I never felt kipona aloha for you either. So it really doesn’t matter whether or not you were ever gonna feel it for me. I’m never gonna feel kipona aloha for you.”
I frowned and sat up. “You don’t know that.”
“I know I’m an immature little girl, alright? I know I’m not the most experienced when it comes to love, sex, and emotions. My mama told me I watched too many Disney princess movies when I was little and had too many fantasies about finding my One True Love and living Happily Ever After. So when every boy I ever met turned out to be far, far less than Prince Charming, I kept my panties on and waited for my true love to come.”
I arched my eyebrows. “And you thought I was your true love?”
Lily waggled her head and looked away. “No… of course not. But I… I mean…”
She sighed and let her voice trail off. I took a deep breath and patiently let her gather her thoughts.
“I don’t know what I thought anymore, okay? I mean, I look back and realize I was totally infatuated with you. Tall and handsome, yet gentle and kind. You were ever so patient with me, especially compared to all the horny buggahs that just wanted to get laid. You let me take everything at my own pace without any pressure but still stared down at me like I was the sexiest girl on Planet Earth. I was happy. I know I was happy.”
I sighed. “I smell a ‘but’ coming…”
“But it was just a crush,” Lily continued. “Even IF you came to truly love me the way you love the others, I was never going to be anything more than your fourth girlfriend. You’ll never be the kind of guy who can devote all your attention to me. And maybe that didn’t matter to me because I was spending all my time with Belle. The butterflies in my stomach I used to get for you, I started getting them for her instead. But Belle’s not gay, and when she saw where my heart was leading me, she tried to gently tell me it simply wasn’t gonna happen.”
I sighed again. “I’m still sorry things didn’t work out for you and Belle.”
“Yeah… Me too.” Lily sighed and shook her head again. She balled up the tissues and baby wipes and then stood up to go toss them into the trash can. And when she turned back to face me, she pursed her lips, bowed her head, and then covered her chest with one arm while covering her crotch with her other arm.
I frowned at her obvious display of shame over being naked in front of me. After all that we’d done together, this was the first time I could recall her ever trying to cover herself up before my eyes, and I really didn’t like it.
“Hey…” I stood up, took hold of her hand, and drew her back to the bed with me. I spun her around to sit beside me and hugged her tightly, careful not to paw at her goodies or anything but merely kept my arms around her. I wanted to preserve the intimacy we had left.
But Lily shook her head and drew away from me. She quickly went to grab her clothes and kept her back to me while stepping into her panties and then refastening her bra. “I’m sorry, Matty. I can’t do this anymore.”
“Lily…” I said mournfully. “My ku’uipo… please.”
“I can’t be your ku’uipo anymore. I HAVE to move on.” Having finished with her bra, Lily turned around to face me. “I want to be in love, Matty. I WANT kipona aloha. I wanna get swept off my feet. I want romance and passion. I don’t know if that’s going to be with a guy or another girl yet, but it’s what I’ve always dreamed of. And the reality is that I’m never going to get that with you OR Belle. So maybe it’s time I started looking somewhere else.”
“Lily, don’t make a rash--”
“I’m sorry, Matty,” she cut me off with a sad but decisive expression. It was clear that she’d made up her mind. "But I’m breaking up with you.”
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