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BTC2: Chapter 1

🕑 Added 2022-09-15 17:21:19 +0000 UTC

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Bluedragonauthor

That's me trying to get Sam to sound Aussie.

Argo Snuffy

Spellcheck: 'idear' in this paragraph: “Charlie, hey, how are you?” Sam replied in a friendly tone. She let go of me and opened her arms, and the big guy stepped over to give her a strong but chaste hug. After he took a step back, she looked up at him and remarked, “You told me this was going to be a big party, but I had no idear.”

Jonathan Graham

Given certain references made in the first BTC story, it's likely that the BTC's senior year of high school was either the 1998-99 or 1999-2000 school year, so that this story should be taking place in the following school year.

Bluedragonauthor

The jerked awake thing has become the equivalent of a meme at this point for me. But even so, I feel like that opening paragraph has become a definitive way for readers to immediately get into the zone of, "Yeah, I'm reading a -b.d.- story right now." Is it overused? Well, yeah. But there are often subtle differences depending on the girl in question that astute readers can look for. If you are referring to other paragraphs used throughout the story, I love using callbacks to previous events to enhance the sense of remembrance and tie themes together. It's actually often harder to integrate old paragraphs into new scenes rather than just write a brand-new paragraph from scratch. It takes researching the old scene for flavor and then incorporating that into a new scene.

Jimmyjeffjuniour

Stop reusing the same paragraphs, it makes you just look lazy and it starts ruining the stories when you reuse so many of them. I thought this with ASL2 as well

cpip

They pass through Berkeley, I mean. Sure, they don't necessarily cross as cleanly as Book of David crosses with OSL crosses with Billionaire, or Sorority and the Twins in San Francisco -- and there's probably other links I've forgotten -- but there's definitely a B.D. Literary Universe that many of these characters share.

ToneBeex24

I don't think they'll intersect. BTC could be same age as Brandi and Dayna. Same year.

cpip

Ah. I think I missed the time differences, thanks. Has someone laid out the chronology of the stories which all intersect?

ToneBeex24

BTC is in the house a few years before Ben moved in.

cpip

So, am I right in the assumption that the Berkeley BTC has inherited Ben's place? The description of the house sounds rather familiar.

Bluedragonauthor

(A) Long before Patreon, feedback (both positive and negative) was my only payment for my stories and I'll still be posting ASL2 and BTC2 online for everyone to enjoy. So I'm grateful you're willing to take the time to write these relatively lengthy comments to my chapters, because it tells me you're passionate and I'm rather proud I can make a reader passionate about anything. This is why I'm very active in engaging with my readers on Discord and even taking the time to reply to this. (B) I consider myself a pretty good basketball player with an all-around game and I love playing point guard and getting cool assists over easy layups. But I consider myself a hobbyist writer and not a serious novelist and honestly don't have the time to really read the works of other writers or focus on honing my craft. I openly admit I write for fun and don't really want to stress myself out, because between my day job and family and my autistic kid, I get plenty of stress already. So I write what I enjoy which means lots of sex and making my female characters dynamic and awesome while my male characters (across my stories) mostly remain amorphous versions of myself to be walking dicks so I can vicariously fuck my female characters. (C) I write sex stories, but I do *try* to justify the male fantasy harem lifestyle with quasi-realistic explanations and motivations because it makes my characters feel more human, and the more human and real they feel, the better the sex scenes are when I have them. Making love to Adrienne and Dawn is just so much better than railing anonymous Tri-Delt #17 up the ass, although there's definitely an audience who just wants fresh meat and for Ben to rack up his numbers higher and higher (Spoiler alert: BTC 2.0 isn't that kind of story, so be prepared for the slow burn if you're sticking around). (D) I'm not asking you to "just enjoy the dumb content and not have expectations". I'm suggesting that if you've read enough of my work by now, you should know what I'm about and have *realistic* expectations of what I'm going to deliver. If you've spent the past year reading ASL2 as the equivalent of eating a McDonald's Big Mac every week, I think it would be unrealistic to expect a Morton's Steakhouse prime rib when you start my next story. I am well-aware that writing more than a million words of ASL2 week-to-week trying to churn out two chapters a week to satisfy my patrons' need for new content - instead of writing a complete story like I usually do with zero time pressure - resulted in a meandering narrative with circular arguments that went nowhere. That's the nature of a first draft done under pressure with no time to edit or significantly revise earlier chapters. (E) Finally, the line: "If you DO want to do that stuff, do it better." is just rude, dude. Maybe you think it's a fair criticism, and I agree there's room to do better. But your overall tone and attitude come off as exceptionally entitled. I've got a thick skin and I'm used to getting vitriolic feedback. I get hate mail from readers ALL THE TIME. Yours is just more detailed and has much better grammar, so thanks for that. But at the end of the day, I'm just trying to give you fair warning that I'm gonna keep writing what makes me happy. I always try to incorporate feedback as I move forward, but by now you should know what's my style, know that I'm gonna overuse the "jerked awake" scene, know that I'll have a shit-ton of alliterations, know that I'll have circular arguments, and overall know what to reasonably expect from my future work. -b.d.-

ToneBeex24

Why don't you find something else to read? There are other stories and content out there. Since BD isn't giving you what you want out of these stories.. Follow your own advice and get off the pot.

Uppercase

Well, I wasn't trying to extrapolate about you, just saying what the stories, in comparison to one another, sound like when they can blend together in a blur, because they are so indistinct. Actually, the fact that you only felt the need to correct the Asian thing is kind of scary. Are we supposed to be reading a b.d. story, or a story about Matty or Ben or whomever? What exactly is the appeal of knowing that datum, especially, as you say, you're writing sex stories. It's like getting the cameraman involved in a porn film. I am not exactly impressed with Sam Raimi's car or Tarantino's face being inserted into all their works either. I would also question whether or not you are good at three pointers. You certainly seem to be conceding that you are not good at basketball in general. Maybe try to develop your all-round game a bit? You say you write sex stories, so okay. That goes with your disclaimer about no STDs, it explains the conceit that so many girls fall for one guy. But why do Sex Stories, a genre you claim gives you license to dispense with all sorts of things that detract from the enjoyment of the sex, require realistic explanations and justifications of the motives? Why give so much attention to the sort of really awful behaviors and consequences that make these kind of stories impossible in real life? What part of the sexual motivation is gratified by an argument that your heroes are not racist for never settling down with the nice Asian girl and pursuing the big-breasted blonde? Or the Dawn/Belle/Amber-pocalypse? Do you honestly think the sex part of the stories are made more enjoyable by being yanked out of the narrative by six words in a row all beginning with the same letter, sometimes at the expense of clarity or expression? If you're not a novelist and have no aspirations in that regard, don't drag us down with tedious relationship discussions that don't really mean anything, because a chapter or two later the status quo will change again, according to some whim, regardless of what was decided in the discussion. If you DO want to do that stuff, do it better. "Just enjoy the dumb content, don't have expectations" is one of the worst counter-arguments out there. It is an argument for accepting the premise of the story that is wildly unrealistic or might be offensive in real life. It's an excuse for WHAT you show, not HOW you show it. And I think you know that. That's why you have these endless circular arguments, because you don't take your own advice, and you feel you need to justify your protagonist (self-insert character?) having so many partners, or ones so far out of his league or so accommodating to him. It's like making a porn film a trial scene that devolves into the lawyer servicing the jury to get the verdict she wants...but you make the actress intern in a law firm for six months for realism. Or put us through a Better Call Saul montage of her doing paperwork, in order to justify her being in the courtroom in the first place. There is a type of story where the relationship talks, the justifications and rationalizations belong. A type you have claimed, more than once, that you are not writing that. Shit or get off the pot, buddy.

Bluedragonauthor

(A) I'm Asian, so you should correctly say I have a blonde-fetish instead of an Asian-fetish. (B) I'm trying to entertain myself and I enjoy writing what I write about. Mostly a nice-guy protagonist surrounded by really hot girls with big tits. (C) I LOVE the [insert -b.d.- blowjob jerked awake] bit. Is it overused? Sure, probably. But there's nothing else that immediately tells the reader, "Yeah, you're reading a -b.d.- story now, dude." Would it be appropriate to say I have a certain male harem fantasy story type that's my wheelhouse? Sure, why not. If I'm good at shooting 3-pointers, I'm gonna shoot a lot of 3-pointers. I make no pretense at being a serious novelist. This is a hobby away from my full-time day job. Reading my stories should be a hobby as well, and if you're not enjoying yourself, by all means you're welcome to seek out other entertainment. But if you do stick around, I strongly recommend you don't take it so seriously and enjoy it for the popcorn entertainment it really is. I write sex stories, man. Cheers, -b.d.-

Uppercase

I defy anyone to tell me a substantive difference between Belle and Dawn Evans from OSL/ASL series, without citing physical appearance. For that matter, how much real difference in personality is there between David, Ben and Matty, without citing their occupations? There's not a whole to separate Sam from Amber, either. That's actually a PROBLEM with the writing. If you want to maintain the narrative conceit that these are the individual stories of three different ... men ... (for lack of a better for such immature, prone to tears and self-centered persons) there should be some difference in how they are written. They should not all have the same style of describing things, the same attitudes toward relationships and even using the same gimmicks, like the alliterative descriptions of sex or the same recurring until it's beaten to death (and then some) blow-job wakeup gag. If all the narrator protagonists are written the exact same way, it breaks the reader immersion and makes it difficult to accept the premise that one is the story of a finance guy in his 20s and the other a teenage student, rather than both being the fantasies of a middle aged San Franciscan who has trouble reconciling his Asian fetish with his attraction to tall, large-breasted, light-complexioned women, and abuses in his thesaurus app. When two different main characters have a female best friend / sexual partner from childhood, who is described as being like his family, with a propensity for lying about her feelings until she has a near-psychotic meltdown because she is not getting what she always insisted she does not need or want, and in the "good" times, physically abuses him for not paying attention to her or what she thinks he should be interested in - can you really say the author is even trying?

Wookey

I love this story.


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