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VIP-BTC2: Chapter 50
🕑 Added 2023-03-20 19:00:03 +0000 UTC-- CHAPTER 50: Chero --
****
“If you ask me, Isabela’s not worth your effort,” Eva muttered in resignation while standing outside my walk-in closet with her arms folded.
“Then it’s a good thing I’m not asking you,” I muttered while standing inside the closet wearing nothing but my underwear, hurriedly stepping into a pair of jeans. I wanted to get dressed quickly and get out the door to go talk to Isabela. “And if I’d listened to anyone telling me that you weren’t worth my effort back when you were being standoffish and giving us all the cold shoulder, where would we be now?”
I’d just pulled up my jeans and still had my hands on the waistband when Eva’s arms suddenly wrapped around my head and her lips sealed over mine. My heart stopped as an electrical shock of pleasure zinged like a lightning bolt into my brain, momentarily stunning me. There was a raspy purr in her throat as she devoured me, a growl of conquest and passion. But just when the initial flashbomb of scintillating whiteout started to fade away and I found myself starting to recover enough to consider returning her kiss, she took one step back, folded her arms across her chest again, and smirked.
“Was I worth the effort?” she asked coyly.
“Uhhh…” I muttered dumbly before summoning enough brain cells to get my head to nod an affirmative.
“Did any of the BTC girls actually tell you that I wasn’t worth the effort?”
Now recovering, I shook my head while grabbing a fresh t-shirt off the shelf. “Belle was a little ‘take her or leave her’ about it, but no. None of them told me to NOT put out the effort. They all know me. They know who I am and what I’m about. We made Izzy part of The BTC, and I don’t just abandon BTC girls. I don’t.”
Eva sighed. “I get it. I get it. But if there’s a key difference between me and her, it’s that she’s choosing to leave.”
“But why is she choosing to leave?” I pulled the t-shirt over my head.
“You heard what Neevie said. Isabela’s a low-drama kind of girl. She wants to have fun, and shit started to get a little intense last night. This isn’t the first time she’s walked away from a relationship because it started to get a little more serious than she really wanted to deal with.”
“I get that.” Tugging down the hem of my t-shirt, I emerged from the closet and headed for the open doorway, with Eva following after me. “I went through the same thing with Holly, actually, where she’d decided that shit was getting a little more serious than she wanted to deal with.”
“And you talked her out of it?”
“Well, no. In the end, I respected her decision to walk away,” I stated while starting my descent down the stairs.
“But Holly came back eventually.”
“Eventually.”
“And you’re hoping for the same thing with Isabela?”
“I don’t know what I’m hoping for right now,” I admitted, pausing halfway down the stairs. I glanced back over my shoulder at Eva, adding, “I just want to talk to her.”
Eva smirked. “You do realize, it’s precisely because you want to ‘talk’ that the low-drama girl wants to walk away. You’re getting clingy, and I don’t think she likes to feel… uhhh… ‘clung’.”
“She said I’m chero,” I stated with a shrug, “a cherished friend. I just want to find out if she really meant that or not.”
“And if not?”
I sighed. “Then I can let her go.”
****
When Eva and I hit the main floor, I saw that Naimh’s bedroom door was still closed. While Sam and Naimh had both understood immediately that I’d want to leave and go talk to Isabela, they were both understandably more interested in sharing with each other the discussions they’d both had with me this morning. While I knew that both girls were committed to remaining friends and to keeping The BTC in harmony, the events of last night hadn’t “just gone away”, and a lot of communication would be necessary moving forward.
Glancing at Eva, I suggested, “How about I walk you home?”
Eva took one look at Naimh’s closed bedroom door and nodded her agreement. I knew without asking that she had no interest in going with me to talk to Isabela, nor in sticking around the house by herself while Sam and Naimh were holed up together. So she quickly popped into Sam’s bedroom to grab her bag, and then we left the house together and started down the sidewalk.
“Think it’s gonna rain?” I asked while looking up overhead at the dark gray clouds that filled most of the sky and blotted out the sun.
“Hard to say,” Eva replied, glancing up with her blue contacts back in place. “Felt like almost every day had at least one passing rain shower in the islands. It was rare to see dark clouds and NOT have it rain. But here in Berkeley, it feels like there are clouds in the sky every day, and sometimes gets foggy, but yet it often doesn’t rain at all.”
“So you can’t read the cloud signs? You never studied up on Lono, the Hawaiian god of rain?”
“Wrong Hawaiian girl. Lily’s the real Kānaka Maoli: the true indigenous native, at least on her dad’s side.”
“How is Lily?”
“She’s good.” Eva pursed her lips before glancing over at me. And after a moment’s thought, she added, “If you really want to know how she’s doing, she’s probably home right now.”
I blinked. “You think I should try to talk to her today?”
“Yeah, actually,” Eva began, but then frowned when I immediately grimaced. And with a disapproving glare, Eva muttered, “Of course if you’re gonna make that face when--”
“Oh, n-n-no. No. That face wasn’t for Lily,” I stammered with a blush. “I’ve wanted to talk to her for a while now, but you kept telling me she didn’t want to see me or any of the others yet.”
“Then what was that face for?”
I blushed. “I was actually a little worried about running into Mrs. Morris. I told you: she terrifies me.”
Eva snorted and shook her head. “Mrs. Morris? She’s harmless. What is it with you and older female authority figures?”
“Can we not psychoanalyze me today?”
“I still find myself curious to meet your mom, especially after all the Oedipus Complex jokes.”
I rolled my eyes and shook my head while Eva laughed.
“But seriously, Mrs. Morris won’t be home right now,” Eva explained. “She goes to church Sunday mornings and spends the afternoon with her group of batty old birds.”
I exhaled slowly, thinking it over. “I still need to catch up to Isabela, but if you think Lily will actually talk to me today…”
“I know she will. She wants to see you.”
“Really? That’s a change.”
“She actually asked me to bring you over yesterday, but we had that party to go to.”
I blinked in surprise. “What changed? The last time I suggested coming over, you told me not to. That Lily wouldn’t want to see me.”
Eva’s eyebrows went up. “Well… things are different now.”
“Different how?”
Eva stopped walking and gave me a serious look. “Lily’s got a new boyfriend.”
****
I felt my heartbeat speed up a bit with anxiety as Eva took out her house key and snicked it into the lock. She’d told me that Mrs. Morris wouldn’t be home, but some deeply instinctual part of me still feared that the front door would swing open to startlingly reveal the pale, white-haired old woman glaring at me like a haunted ghost from some horror movie.
But no such wraithlike apparition greeted us, and Eva calmly walked through the door, completely oblivious to my miniature panic attack.
I don’t know why I assumed Lily would be up in the girls’ bedroom. Perhaps some part of me considered the rest of Mrs. Morris’s house to be off-limits to her two temporary tenants or something. And therefore I assumed I’d have several seconds to collect myself while heading up the stairs before meeting Lily face-to-face.
Instead, Eva turned the corner into the living room and immediately greeted, “Hey Lil. Look who I brought over.”
“Matty! Heyyy…”
I froze like a deer in headlights. My heartbeat had not yet calmed down from its anticipated Mrs. Morris jump-scare, and instead started racing again in surprise to find the cute Hawaiian girl seated on the couch in the living room. She’d been reading a textbook on the coffee table, obviously studying for one of her finals, but sat up straight and smiled rather shyly at me.
My jaw flapped open, but it took an agonizing two seconds for me to get my mouth into working order before I managed to stammer, “H-hey, Lil. How are you doing?”
“I’m…” my cute ex-ku’uipo began before furrowing her eyebrows and letting herself trail off for a second. And in the end, she took a deep breath and finished, “I’m okay.”
I heard a note of uncertainty in Lily’s voice, the kind of hesitation that was a siren’s call to my heart. That note washed away my own hesitation, replacing it with an urgent signal that compelled, Girl needs support. Go! Go! Go!
Walking quickly into the living room, I slid onto the seat beside Lily while Eva closed the front door. Taking Lily’s hand between both of mine, I gave her a concerned look and asked, “What’s wrong?”
At first, Lily’s angst appeared to melt as that sunny smile I’d come to love burst forth, bringing lighthearted joy to my very soul. But a moment later that smile faded, and she slowly but firmly removed her hand from my grasp.
It felt like the room itself had started to glow, but now that ethereal illumination faded, leaving nothing but the starkness of reality.
Lily shook her head with a sigh. “How can you still have this effect on me?”
I blinked. “What effect?”
“The kind that makes butterflies flap around in my stomach, makes my heart race, and…” Lily’s eyes sparkled like diamonds for a moment, and I basked in the glow of the way she gazed into my eyes as if I were the sexiest, most incredible, most desirable man on Planet Earth. “And makes me wanna tear my clothes off and go for a ride on your lala-hu.”
I blinked twice. “Uh… well…”
“I shouldn’t feel this way anymore,” Lily sighed. “We’ve been broken up for a while now.”
“It’s only been three weeks,” Eva pointed out.
“Really? Feels like it’s been a lot longer than that,” Lily mourned.
“I know what you mean,” I agreed. “These last three weeks have certainly been… busy.”
“So Eva tells me.” Lily glanced up at her roommate, who stood between the living room and foyer with her arms folded across her chest. Returning her attention to me, Lily explained, “Your high school girlfriends coming to visit over Thanksgiving, Eva finally telling you the full story of her and Kai, and then another party in the hills last night, right? How did it go? Did they put up a bounce house again?”
Eva laughed. “How did Sam put it? ‘Do guys like bouncing breasts?’ or something like that.”
“I wish I’d been there,” Lily sighed regretfully.
“We would’ve loved to have you come,” I assured her.
But Lily shook her head. “I’m not BTC anymore. I’ve moved on.”
“You’re always welcome to move right back.”
Lily shook her head sadly.
“Almost better that you didn’t come,” Eva remarked while sauntering into the living room and then taking a seat on an armchair. “You got to avoid all of last night’s drama.”
“Drama?” Lily asked.
“Neevie versus Sam finally came to a head,” Eva explained.
“Oooh, that sounds bad.” Lily winced. “What happened? Did they have a catfight or something?”
“No, nothing like that. Although the two of them having a wrestling match with their claws out in the bounce house would’ve certainly been entertaining,” Eva quipped with a grin.
“Don’t worry about Neevie and Sam. They’re working things out and they’ll be fine,” I interjected, shooting a glare at Eva and then turning my full attention to Lily. “I came here to talk to you. I would’ve been here weeks ago to talk to you, but Eva kept telling me you weren’t ready yet.”
“I wasn’t ready yet,” Lily confirmed, taking a deep breath. “Still, it’s nice to know that you cared.”
“I did,” I stated first before correcting, “I do. Eva’s been keeping me up-to-date on most things going on in your life. Hanging out with your Hawaiian club… You were worried about your sick uncle last week… Some trouble with Calculus – you know I’d have been perfectly happy to keep tutoring you.”
“You’re not my boyfriend anymore. You don’t have to help me with math,” Lily insisted.
“But I’d still like to be friends, if we could.”
Lily looked at me skeptically. “You don’t have any friends you’re not sleeping with.”
I blinked. “That’s not true. You and I were friends before--”
“Before I started sleeping with you,” Lily interrupted. “Same with Eva.”
I blinked twice. “I’m not sleeping with Skylar.”
“Yet…” Eva drawled.
I rolled my eyes at her and challenged, “Luna.”
“Fine. One. Maybe,” Eva conceded grudgingly. “And only because she’s gay. Plus, Luna might not count anymore if this thing about Isabela wanting out is true.”
“Wait, what’s going on with Isabela?” Lily interjected.
“Fallout from last night’s drama,” Eva explained wearily. “She was only hanging with The BTC for fun and games, and I gather that when the going gets tough, Isabela just gets going.”
“We don’t know any of that for sure,” I countered. “I know what Neevie told us, but I still want to hear it directly from her, AND Luna. I actually feel like I’d get a straighter answer from Luna than from Izzy.”
“Probably,” Eva agreed.
“But we’re getting sidetracked,” I said, returning my attention to Lily. “I came over to talk to you.”
“And I did want to talk to you,” Lily replied, “but I think I just got all the answers I needed.”
“You did?”
She gave me a wan smile, sighed, and shook her head. “Thanks for reminding me that I’ll never be more than Girlfriend Number Five out of Seven.”
I frowned. “Is that really why you wanted to talk to me? To try and decide whether or not you could ever mean more to me than Girlfriend X out of Y?”
“She just admitted she’s not good at math,” Eva drawled, but then she immediately blushed and looked away when I shot her a harsh look.
“I didn’t come over here trying to win you back as a girlfriend,” I told Lily sincerely. “I miss my friend. I miss your sunny, bubbly presence in my life. It feels like my life was so much lighter and happier when you were with me and the rest of The BTC. And while your absence isn’t the only reason why things have felt so… heavy… lately, I know that your return to The BTC would only make things better.”
“Make things awkward, more likely,” Lily contradicted. “The BTC’s dynamic only works when all the girls are sleeping with you.”
“Luna’s not sleeping with me,” I pointed out.
Eva chimed in, “Does Luna still count if she and Isabela--”
“That part still remains to be seen,” I cut her off.
Lily shook her head. “Sex and friendship go hand-in-hand in your house. What am I supposed to do: come hang out for a study session and then quietly sneak away when one of the girls decides she wants a study break?”
“You could always join in,” Eva suggested. “Get some study-break stress relief from one of the girls whenever you want.”
“And then things would just be awkward for me and Belle.” Lily sighed. “Seriously: I’m not coming back to The BTC.”
I deflated somewhat, but still pressed forward. “Can we at least still be friends? I’m not asking you to come over to the house and hang out all the time, but I don’t want us to be estranged anymore. You still mean something to me. You will forever be my ku’uipo. We may not be in a romantic relationship anymore, but you will always hold a special place in my heart – a sweet place in my heart.”
Lily sighed. “And you will always hold a special place in my heart. You will forever be my ‘first’, in more ways than one.”
I raised both eyebrows. “And as I understand it, you’re wondering whether or not you’re ready for someone else to become your ‘second’?”
Lily blushed and glanced at Eva. “How much have you told him?”
“Nothing.” Eva shrugged. “Just that you’d met someone.”
I arched an eyebrow at Eva. “You told me she had a new boyfriend.”
“I don’t have a new boyfriend,” Lily muttered while running her fingers over her left ear, tucking back several stray locks of thick, dark hair. I realized that while she still wore her plumeria flower in her hair, it remained over her right ear, leaving the left side bare. That indicated that she was still single – for now, at least.
“But you have met a guy,” I ventured.
“It’s not like I just met him,” Lily said defensively. “I’ve known him since I first came to Cal.”
“His name is Aiden, he’s a fellow freshman, he’s been interested in Lily since the first time they met at the Cal Hawai’i Club, but she was more interested in you and told him she was taken, but now that she’s been single for a few weeks he’s been chatting her up, and now she’s trying to decide if she’s interested in reciprocating or not,” Eva rattled off matter-of-factly. “And I didn’t tell you any of that stuff before because I figured you’d rather not know about him until it became necessary information.”
I blinked twice. “Oh. Okay…”
Lily looked mournfully at me. “I can’t tell if I’m feeling lonely and sorry for myself for breaking up with you and leaving The BTC and now I’m latching onto the first really nice guy who takes an interest in me on the rebound or not.”
“You are. You definitely are,” Eva stated in an equally matter-of-fact tone.
“You don’t know that,” Lily muttered defensively. “And it’s not like you’ve got years of maturity and experience to back up that kind of conclusion.”
“Three weeks, Lil. It’s only been three weeks. I may never have gone through a rebound relationship myself, but I went to high school.”
Lily waggled her head and rolled her eyes. “What was the high school rule? A week’s mourning period for every month you were together? Three weeks is more than enough given that Matty and I were together for less than three months.”
“Look: I’m not telling you that you can’t go out with Aiden or anything,” Eva muttered. “I just want you to be… cautious… with your heart – that’s all.”
“Be careful, Eva,” Lily teased. “Keep that up, and people might think there’s a considerate human being underneath that catty exterior.”
Eva bared her teeth and brandished her long fingernails as claws.
“I’m with Eva on this,” I added. “All I’ve ever wanted was your happiness. I’d hoped that would be with me, but… but if you like this guy, I mean… you don’t need my permission or anything to go out with him.”
Lily’s eyes narrowed. “It wouldn’t bother you?”
I blinked. “I feel like I’m going out on a limb here, but am I correct when I interpret that tone as to mean you WANT it to bother me? As in, you’d be happier for me to say, ‘Hell no! You’re mine! I want you back, my cutie ku’uipo. You belong with me.’”
Lily’s eyebrows arched. “Does it bother you?”
“Well…” I took a deep breath and thought about it. “Well kinda, yeah.”
“Really?” Lily perked up a bit. And at the same time, Eva blinked in surprise. “Really?”
“What happened to ‘All I’ve ever wanted was your happiness’?” Eva inquired, a little confused. “When you two broke up, Lily made clear that she wanted kipona aloha - that she wanted the kind of deep, intense love you could never give her.”
“I never said it was the kind of love I could never give her. I said that kipona aloha takes time,” I contradicted Eva before turning my attention back to Lily. “Were we there yet? No. But I told you that everyone has to go through shallow water to get ‘into the blue’. I told you Aloha au iā ʻoe, Lily. I was coming to love you. And I told you I wouldn’t give up on us.”
“Until you gave up on us by letting me go without a fight,” Lily muttered bitterly.
I grimaced. “Did you really want me to fight for you?”
“Well it would’ve been nice.”
“Even though you explicitly told me you realized you’d never really loved me, that you were just infatuated with me, with the Disney princess idea of falling in love. And that you explicitly told me to leave you alone and not bother you until Eva gave me the all-clear to come talk to you again?”
“Well…” Lily hedged before repeating a little more softly, “It would’ve been nice.”
“DISobey a girl’s explicit instructions in order to make her feel wanted. Got it.” I rubbed my forehead and sighed at Eva. “First Neevie. Now Lily. I’m such a slow learner.”
“Better late than never,” Eva muttered.
“Okay then…” I took a deep breath and regarded Lily seriously. Reaching for her hand, I began, “If you want me to fight for you, I can fight for you.”
But Lily jerked her hand back. “Wait, no. I don’t want you fighting for me now.”
I blinked, not understanding. “But I thought you just said--”
“I said it would’ve been nice then. Show up on my front lawn holding a boombox over your head blasting In Your Eyes or something.”
“Mrs. Morris would’ve shot him on sight,” Eva drawled.
“Not helping,” I admonished.
“I dunno.” Lily smiled. “I would’ve held your bleeding body in my lap hoping my tears of sorrow would miraculously heal your wounds.”
“Weren’t you supposed to be getting away from the unrealistic Disney princess fantasies?” Eva scolded.
“I know, I know,” Lily sighed.
“Short of a boombox playing In Your Eyes though,” I interjected, reaching out again and squeezing Lily’s hand, “I would love for you and me to have a second chance.”
But Lily pulled her hand out of my grasp. “No, Matty. Would I have liked you fighting for me three weeks ago? Yes. But now?” She shook her head sadly.
I grimaced again. “I lost my window.”
Lily sighed. “I’m glad you didn’t fight for me.”
I blinked twice. “I feel like I’m getting mixed signals here.”
“Oh, I would’ve loved for you to fight for me back when we first broke up. I probably would’ve swooned right back into your arms, telling myself, ‘He loves me! He really loves me!’ And I would’ve let myself get caught right back up in the warm and fuzzy feelings of infatuation I felt for you in the first place. But you didn’t fight for me, and that gave me a little time and space to think about what it meant that you didn’t fight for me. It reminded me that I was crushing on you, but that I didn’t really love you. I loved the idea of you. And that if I’m ever going to find the deep, intense kipona aloha of my dreams, it’s gonna have to be with someone else.”
“Someone like this Aiden guy?”
Lily shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. Only one way to find out.”
I pursed my lips. “And what if I don’t want you dating Aiden? What if I’d really rather you came back to me and The BTC?”
Lily gave me another wan smile. “It’s nice to be wanted. But like you said: I don’t need your permission to go out with him.”
I sighed, took a deep breath, and collected myself. Both Lily and Eva waited me out, giving me some time to organize my thoughts. Eventually, I reached up to take Lily’s hand in mine again, and this time she didn’t draw away.
Squeezing her hand, I took another deep breath and then began, “When I walked through that front door, I didn’t believe I had any real chance at convincing you to become my girlfriend again. Given that Eva told me you’d met someone, I already assumed you’d moved on in search of that lifelong deep love you always wanted. So all I really wanted to accomplish was convincing you to be my friend again, and I’d like to think I still have a chance of doing just that.”
Lily smiled and did not remove her hand from mine.
“All I’ve ever wanted was your happiness,” I continued. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted for each and every girl in my life, and if you think you might be able to find that with Aiden or anyone else, then you have not only my permission, but my blessing. I’d love for you to come back to me – to us – but I also love you enough to let you go. The only thing I ask going forward is: please don’t shut me out anymore. Let me come visit more often. Come hang with The BTC every now and again – I’ll ask the girls not to start up a study break with you in the house.”
Lily started to withdraw her hand, but this time I kept a firm grip on it and didn’t let her go.
“Please, I know it may feel awkward dealing with your ex-boyfriend – and even your ex-girlfriend in Belle – but give us a chance. I don’t want us to be estranged, at least. I’m not saying we need to see each other every day or every week or anything like that. Just… don’t avoid us anymore, you know? I know you needed some time apart, and I’ve given that to you. But… can we still be friends? Please?”
“Hoalauna,” Lily corrected with a smile.
“‘Close companions’,” Eva translated with a smirk.
“I remember.” I smiled as well. “‘Intimate friends’, actually.”
“Forever my first,” Lily stated with that wan smile again. And then she arched an eyebrow. “And if Aiden turns out to be a jerk, can I count on you to come beat the crap out of him?”
I grinned. “Gladly, my ku’uipo. Gladly.”
****
I left Eva and Lily at Mrs. Morris’s house feeling much better about the state of my relationship with my cutie Hawaiian ex-girlfriend. But I still had one more relationship status to sort out today. Stepping outside onto the sidewalk and pulling out my cell phone, I held down the number 2 speed-dial to initiate a call, but she didn’t pick up on the first attempt.
Once again, I held down the number 2 speed-dial, and this time Belle picked up after the third ring.
“Hey, Matty,” she answered rather wearily.
“Hey, B. Are you with Izzy?”
Belle sighed, and in my mind’s eye I could see her looking up at the Latina girl with her eyebrows raised. A moment later, Belle replied, “She doesn’t want to talk about this right now.”
“Please. She can’t just walk away without at least letting me see her face-to-face. Can you help convince her just to see me?”
Belle sighed again, and I heard the muffling sounds of her hand covering the microphone while inarticulate voices filtered through the unstable cellular connection. I waited somewhat impatiently, glancing to the left and right while trying to wrack my brain to figure out where the three girls might’ve gone off to. Had they walked away to the privacy of the girls’ dorm room? Had they headed downtown to get coffee? Had they gotten into Isabela’s car and driven away?
It took a little longer than I would’ve wished, but in the end Belle came back on the line and said, “We’re in their dorm room. You know where it is?”
“Uh, Stern, right?” Stern Hall was the all-female residence hall located in the northeast corner of campus, about as far away from my house as possible. It was also quite close to the Engineering buildings, which must’ve been convenient for Isabela.
“Right. Call me when you arrive. We’ll have to let you in.”
“I’m walking over right now. See you in a few.”
Belle hung up without further confirmation, and I started walking right away. Picturing the campus map in my head, I figured I’d just take my usual route to E10 and then just keep going past it to get to the residence halls.
On the walk I rehearsed in my head the things I wanted to say. I thought about the missteps I’d recently made in my relationships with Neevie and Lily. I thought about the efforts both Isabela and Luna had made in becoming friends with the BTC girls instead of just fuckbuddies. And even though my emotional relationship with Isabela hadn’t grown very much in the last two weeks since we’d talked about me being chero: a cherished friend, it had only been two weeks.
Fifteen minutes later, I called Belle on my approach to Stern Hall, and she told me to meet her at the far southeastern end of the elongated, multi-wing building where there’d be a side entrance door closest to the girls’ dorm room. But it was Luna who came out through the door to let me in. And much to my surprise, she let the door close behind her to meet me with a rather warm hug.
“Don’t take it personally,” Luna told me without preamble. “Isa’s just not built for long-term relationships.”
I blinked in surprise and arched an eyebrow. “Did you just call her ‘Isa’?”
Luna’s eyes opened wide and then she blushed. “Um, please don’t repeat that nickname. It’s supposed to be private between me and her.”
“Are you telling me she’s had a regular nickname all this time while we struggled back and forth between Bella and Izzy and all that?”
Luna blushed deeper. “Like I said: that one’s supposed to be private. Just stick with Izzy.”
“Alright, alright.”
I arched an eyebrow. “Wait, does this mean she’s got a special nickname for you?”
Luna’s eyes twinkled, but instead of elaborating, she smirked before miming a zipped lip.
“Fine,” I sighed.
Luna merely laughed and gestured towards the stairs. But rather than immediately gesture back for her to lead the way, I took a deep breath and regarded Luna seriously.
“You said that Isa… Izzy… isn’t built for long-term relationships,” I began. “She said herself that she’s not built for love. And I find myself wondering: where does that leave you?”
Luna took a deep breath and looked conflicted for a moment. But she remained silent and didn’t immediately answer me.
“Izzy said she knows you’re in love with her, and she knows you want her to love you back in equal measure. You’re her best friend, and I know you’re incredibly important to her. And yet… I just wonder…”
“You wonder what I expect to happen?” Luna finished for me with a dubious look on her face.
I held both hands up. “I’m sorry for prying. I just… Everything’s so up in the air right now. I know Izzy said she wants out of The BTC. I get that Izzy’s standard M.O. is apparently to walk away when the relationship gets a little too serious or drama-filled for her liking like last night’s little tiff between Neevie and Sam. But I find myself wondering what’s gonna happen with you. I like you, Luna. I’m not gonna start hitting on you or anything, but I like having you around. The girls like having you around. Neevie especially loves having a cosplay buddy, and I just… I mean…”
“I’m not gonna stop visiting Neevie just because Isabela wants to move on.”
“You mean that?” I asked hopefully.
Luna smiled. “We girls talked about this stuff while you, Sam, and Eva were… uhhh…”
“Banging?”
“I was gonna say ‘fucking’, actually,” Luna drawled with a smirk. “Neevie did say that she didn’t want to lose me as a friend. And Belle said she was worried that Isabela and I were like a package deal or something.”
“You’re not? Quite honestly, I thought the two of you were inseparable. I mean, the first thing I think of is how Izzy would always have to leave straight after E10 to go pick you up from class. And even before we had the whole chera discussion, she never came over to the house without bringing you along as well.”
“Well…” Luna waggled her head and thought about that. “I mean yeah, we have been pretty inseparable for a while now. Our families have always been close. We grew up together, and she’s been my best friend since we were in diapers. But we don’t have to do everything together.”
“And what’s she gonna do while you’re coming over to our place to hang out with The BTC?”
Luna shrugged. “She’s got other friends she can hang out with. She’s a very outgoing girl, if you haven’t noticed.”
“I noticed.”
“Now granted, not many of them share her same sexual interests, which is one reason why she liked hanging out with The BTC so much. But still, she has other groups she can spend time with. And of course, her phone is full of… uhhh…”
I blinked and arched an eyebrow. “Full of what?”
Luna grimaced and said apologetically, “You should know she stopped calling them after Thanksgiving.”
“Stopped calling…” I stood up straight. “Calling other guys? Her phone is full of guys’ phone numbers?”
“Well, it’s not full of guys’ phone numbers. But she has like three or four reliable booty calls. Like-minded boys she’s met over the first few months of school who proved they’d be happy to get laid without asking for anything serious. But there’s nobody like you. Nobody she tried to think of as chero. That’s the thing here: Isabela wanting to leave The BTC is as much about you as it is about not wanting to deal with any girl-drama between Neevie and Sam. For the first time in her life, Isabela wanted to try and build an emotional connection with a guy. You were patient and undemanding. You had other girlfriends and would never pressure her. And it didn’t hurt that you’ve got a big dick and you really know how to use it.”
I blushed at the unexpected flattery coming from Luna, of all people. But I frowned and regarded her seriously. “But that was only like two weeks ago. You’re saying Izzy decided to try and build an emotional connection with me… and then what, just gave up?”
Luna grimaced. “Basically.”
“Because of me? Did I not…” I took a deep breath and sighed. “Shit, is this because I didn’t pay her more attention? I thought she’d want me to not like… smother her or anything. I thought I was already pushing things a little too far asking her to make more of an effort in the first place instead of just letting her use me as a fuckbuddy. Did she actually want me to ask her to be my girlfriend and take her out on romantic dates and--”
“Matty-Matty, chill out,” Luna admonished while waving her hands for me to stop. “Relax, Isabela giving up on the idea is entirely about her saying she’s not built for love, and you didn’t do anything wrong. She definitely did NOT want you asking her to be a girlfriend or take on any of the responsibilities and obligations inherent in that title.”
I blinked. “Responsibilities and obligations?”
Luna sighed and rolled her eyes. “Traditional girlfriend stuff. Like the kind of stuff she’s never wanted to do with me.”
I pursed my lips and raised both eyebrows at the bitterness in Luna’s voice. And thinking back to last night’s ‘boiling frog’ conversation, I murmured softly, “After you’ve been so devoted to her, making abundantly clear that she’s the single most important priority in your life, always there to be whatever she needs you to be.”
Luna looked up at me in surprise. “I’m glad you were paying attention. Neevie did say she and you seemed to be back on the same page again this morning.”
I nodded but then gave Luna a curious look. “Are you and Izzy on the same page today?”
Luna sighed, looked up and to the left, and shook her head. “No. No we’re not.”
****
I wanted to ask Luna more about her and Isabela not being on the same page, but at that point she shook her head and turned around, opening up the residence hall side door and walking through without further explanation. So I quickly moved forward to grab the still-closing door and go after her.
I followed the skinny Latina girl up the stairs and down the hallway to the dorm room she and Isabela shared after applying to be roommates together during freshman housing assignments. Having never been in the building before, I looked around as we went, taking note of the communal bathroom design before arriving at and then entering a reasonably spacious thirteen-by-fifteen dorm room with twin beds against the far corners and two side-by-side student desks in front of the large window.
Isabela and Belle sat upon what I assumed to be Isabela’s bed, although Belle immediately got up and came over to hug me. And my petite “little sister” kept one arm around my waist as I turned to face the busty, dark-haired Latina who sat back against the wall.
“Hey, Izzy,” I greeted cordially.
“Hey, Matty,” she replied somewhat nervously, biting her lips and picking at her fingernails, her expression that of a sullen teenager who’d rather be anywhere but here. And then pursing her lips, she began, “Please don’t take this personally.”
“That’s what Luna told me downstairs, but it’s hard not to take something personally when someone decides they don’t want to hang around you anymore.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to hang around you anymore,” she insisted. “It’s nothing about you, it’s me.”
“The ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ break-up routine? Really?” I asked with a somewhat wry grin as I walked over to Isabela’s desk chair and pulled it out. Belle let go of my waist and moved to perch on the edge of Isabela’s mattress while Luna moved behind me to sit on her own bed.
“You’ve been patient and understanding and…” Isabela took a deep breath and sighed before finishing, “and you’re an incredible lover.”
Reclining in Isabela’s desk chair, I muttered, “I smell a ‘but’ coming…”
“Your sense of humor leaves something to be desired,” Isabela muttered with a smirk. “That’s a fourth-grader joke.”
I shrugged. “Doesn’t mean I’m wrong.”
“I’ve told you before I’m not built for love. I wanted to. I figured: if there was ever a guy I could develop feelings for, you’d be it. You’re patient and kind and you’ve never asked anything from me I couldn’t handle.”
“Well, except for when I asked you to stop using me as a fuckbuddy and you ended up saying you’d consider me chero. I sit here wondering where we’d be if I hadn’t asked you that. I wonder if you’d have been happier just popping in and out every now and again – just casual. No expectations of consistently being a part of The BTC. You show up when you want, have a good time, and then take off afterwards. No pressure.”
Isabela frowned. “You’d really be okay with that?”
“It’s basically what Holly does with us,” I reasoned. “You haven’t met her yet, but she’s a social butterfly who’s never liked to feel tied down. I’m not trying to compare you two – just to state that Holly and the group have an arrangement that works for us. I want to make this work, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes.”
Isabela looked confused. “But why? You don’t need me. Your love life is crowded enough with the girls you have. I’d think you’d be happy to have one less mouth to feed, as it were, making you feel burnt out and going through the motions.”
“We may never have gotten to the point of boyfriend/girlfriend, but you’re still my friend – a cherished friend, right?”
She pursed her lips and sighed, looking away.
“I told you before that I form strong emotional connections with the girls I’m with, and I was forming that connection with you. And I’ve learned in the last twenty-four hours from two different girls that sometimes I’ve got to step up and fight to save a relationship rather than just blindly take a girl at her word that she’s walking away.”
Isabela stared at me with a look of pity. “I’m not Neevie ordering you to go after Sam while secretly wishing you’d stay with me. I’m not even looking to go back to fuckbuddy status – popping in and out the way you described – because I like you too much to do that to you and I haven’t forgotten what Luna told me about using you like that not being fair. Look, I know this sucks and I know I’m hurting you, but I honestly think that in the long run, it’s better this way. Seriously, Matty: I just want out. That’s it. Done. I don’t want to be doing this right now. I don’t even want to be having this conversation.”
“Isabela prefers to make clean breaks and not look back,” Luna interjected. “If it were up to her, she’d never see you again and just move on with her life. But Belle talked her into letting you see her face-to-face so… well… here we are.”
I felt my heart thud into my stomach, hearing the truth in both Isabela’s and Luna’s words. My jaw dropped open and I blinked several times. “So that’s… that’s it? You just want out, no further questions asked?”
“I just want out.”
I’d only been in the dorm room for a couple of minutes. My conversation with Lily earlier - or even Luna just outside the side door of the building – had been far longer than this. But I’d learned to trust my instincts when it came to being whatever a girl needed me to be, and today my instincts told me that nothing further could be done. For me to stay here and try to talk Isabela out of walking away from The BTC would be a complete waste of time and only serve to make her resent me.
So I took a deep breath, looked over at Luna, turned my attention back to Belle, and finally returned my gaze back to Isabela. And then with a long sigh, I told her:
“Alright then. I’ll go. And I sincerely hope you have a nice life.”
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The next chapter will post on March 24th. For anyone who can't wait, Beta Tier has a 7-chapter lead.
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Comments
Blu Bran
I totally get everyone hating on belle. I’m not a huge fan of her recent actions either, but I’ve always been a fan of that best friends since childhood falling in love mush so I seem to have a special place in my heart for her..
Mike Schwalen
Bell is the worst I wish she was the next to go even though I know she’s not…it’s funny that if you look at the polls everyone likes Skylar the most and Belle one of the least yet Skylar is never written about…more Skylar!
Jouseff Rodriguez
Sad to see Isabella and Lily all go in one chapter. Hope that Isabella starts taking Luna seriously from now on and see them pop up every now and then to check up on the BTC. Was glad to see Belle be there for Matty as emotional support and hope we get to see more Belle and Matty together again in the next couple of chapters.
