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VIP-BTC2: Chapter 68
🕑 Added 2023-06-02 19:00:05 +0000 UTC-- CHAPTER 68: Trust --
****
“Do you trust me?”
Blinking, I looked up and smiled at her. “I do trust you,” I replied easily, even though I didn’t know what she had in mind.
“Head back up the hill. I’ll take care of the rest.”
With a nod, I grabbed my sled and trudged upwards, curious as to what she would do.
Ahead of me, Belle had already gone up the hill with the second sled to take another run. My impish pixie waited for me to catch up, got me to give her a kiss “for good luck”, and then sat down on her sled.
From our launching point, I watched Belle zig and zag her way down and then lose speed on the flat part by the picnic benches. Once she was clear, I sat on my sled, looked down at all the girls looking up at me, and took a deep breath.
Rather than push myself forward with any force, I let the sled drop down on its own, surrendering myself to gravity. All I could do at that point was hope I wouldn’t crash…
… again.
An hour earlier, Sam and I had driven our vehicles to the parking lot of this local hiking trailhead, the trails themselves now completely blanketed in snow. We’d brought two EPS core sleds, and my first order of business had been to find a suitable sledding area. And while pretty much anyone could simply hop onto a board at an incline and ride their way down, only true artists could build, modify, and reinforce a real sledding course.
Except for last year, Alice had always been my partner in designing, building, and rebuilding sledding runs with me, and she was happy to help me carve out a course while the other girls went exploring and started up a small snowball fight. Alice would typically be my crash test dummy while I shored up the various banks and turns adapted to the geography of the hill, offering her own opinion and suggestions based on how the ride felt. And for fifteen minutes or so, we enjoyed figuring out the basic structure of the course.
Starting from a relatively flat section high up the hill, the rider would scoot herself forward and over the edge to start a gentle descent, picking up speed before hitting the first turn to send her about forty-five degrees to the right. She’d slow down a bit while traversing the slope somewhat laterally, turn left downhill, and pick up speed again before hitting a wide banked left turn. She’d speed through a natural gully and then slightly uphill for a second before making a final turn to the right and then coasting to a stop at the bottom.
That wide banked left turn was the hard part of the geometry and most subject to erosion. It successfully turned Alice the first time we built it, but her weight collapsed the bank.
She and I spent a few minutes trying to shore it up. But then Engineer Skylar figured out what we were doing, and she simply had to come over and put in her two cents. She actually had a really good idea of hauling over a couple of downed logs to use as reinforcement, and the three of us spent some time building that before finally calling over the other girls.
As usual, we sent Belle down first as the lightest crash test dummy and the least likely to bust through the turns. Lacking sufficient mass, she didn’t pick up that much speed and for a second I worried that she wouldn’t make it through the gully and uphill to the other side. But in the end she completed the course with flying colors, and then it was everyone else’s turn to take a run.
One by one, every girl successfully navigated the course (except for injured Luna), with Sam going last just before me. I’d never actually ridden on the sledding run, with only Alice being the crash test dummy. And although I’d been shoring up the turns by adding more snow and packing it down with the shovel, I was worried my extra weight would blast through that final banked turn the way it often had. But as it turned out, Skylar’s engineering with the two logs held it up. I didn’t blow through the banked turn…
… I went OVER it instead, catching a little air before falling over the other side and getting spilled out sideways from my sled.
The girls thought me crashing was hilarious, of course.
“Try again,” Skylar suggested.
“I’m just gonna pick up too much speed and go up and over the turn again, unless we build that bank higher.”
“Do you trust me?” she asked with a sly smile.
Blinking, I looked up and smiled at her. She was putting up a good façade in front of the others, but I could see the weariness behind her eyes. Although this morning hadn’t been the first time she’d told the story of what happened, I could tell she was still feeling quite emotionally raw.
I thought about everything she’d been through. I thought about how she’d lost the trust of everyone in her family, lost the trust of all her college friends, and how deep down she still feared that confessing her sins of the past would cause her to lose MY trust as well.
But she hadn’t. Her sins of the past were just that: her past. They had nothing to do with me. And thus far, Skylar had done nothing to make me mistrust her.
“I do trust you,” I replied easily, even though I didn’t know what she had in mind.
“Head back up the hill. I’ll take care of the rest,” Skylar replied confidently.
With a nod, I grabbed my sled and trudged upwards, curious as to what Skylar would do. Ahead of me, Belle had already gone up the hill with the second sled to take another run. My impish pixie waited for me to catch up, got me to give her a kiss “for good luck”, and then sat down on her sled.
From our launching point, I watched Belle zig and zag her way down and then lose speed on the flat part by the picnic benches. Once she was clear, I sat on my sled, looked down at all the girls looking up at me, and took a deep breath.
Rather than push myself forward with any force, I let the sled drop down on its own, surrendering myself to gravity. All I could do at that point was hope I wouldn’t crash…
… again.
It was only once I made the first turn that I looked ahead and saw what Skylar had done. Rather than leave the banked turn alone, she’d jammed the shovel into it at an angle matching the banked slope, right at the point where my sled had gone over the top during my first run. This time, when my sled slid up the same section…
… the shovel itself kept my board from going over the edge and redirected me back towards the rest of the course.
“WOO-HOO!” Alice cheered with a double-fist-pump as I slid through the gully and up the other side. “HOLY SHIT, IT WORKED!”
“Of course it worked,” Skylar drawled from somewhere behind me as I made the last turn and then flattened out. But then I heard her add somewhat mournfully… “It sorta worked.”
After sticking my boots out and skidding to a stop, I looked back at the course and realized what Skylar was mourning. While her little shovel trick had indeed kept me from going off-course, the impact had also cratered the snow embankment when the shovel itself collapsed. The two logs had also been dislodged, and the whole banked turn would have to be rebuilt.
“Worth it!” Alice cheered, already moving the two logs back into place.
Handing off the sled to Mari, who was next, I flashed a beaming smile at Skylar and agreed.
“Totally worth it.”
****
“There should be bonus points for size, right? The bigger, the better?” Sam gave Eva a lopsided smirk, cupping her own boobs for emphasis.
Eva cupped her own boobs, glanced down at her cleavage, and shrugged. “Some might argue that anything more than a handful is a waste, and I do believe that our esteemed, unbiased judge would agree that much like when it comes to boobs, so long as the snowman in question is big enough, it’s big enough.”
“No bonus points for size of the snowman,” I declared, knowing full well that if I were to deem otherwise, the less well-endowed girls of The BTC would end up calling for my head. I smiled and stated firmly, “I’m judging on artistry, not mass.”
“Prettiest snowman wins!” Belle declared, kneeling ten feet away while carefully doing her slow roll to form a nicely spherical snowball.
“Snowwoman!” Mari insisted.
With nine girls in the group, they’d split into three teams to build their snowmen (excuse me, snowwomen): Belle, Mari, and Luna; Sam, Zofi, and Eva; and Naimh, Alice, and Skylar. The girls continued working while I walked over to the picnic table where we’d stashed our two sleds and some snacks. Seated backwards on a picnic-table bench out here in the snow-play area, I reclined with my elbows on the tabletop, sat back, and relaxed. After spending more than an hour digging and building and rebuilding the sledding course, I’d been ordered to stop exerting myself in order to rest up for the evening’s future activities.
It was our final night at Mammoth Mountain, after all. And the girls had plans.
So I sat back and relaxed. Zofi went around taking photos of everyone, including a re-creation of Eva’s childhood snow pictures so we could send them to her dad. Actually, Zofi spent more time taking photos than building her team’s snowman (snowwoman for sure, since Sam started adding boobs). Mari had planned ahead and brought loose buttons, a scarf, a top hat, and even a raw carrot for decoration. Alice immediately declared that external props were cheating and that only raw materials found on the premises could be legally used. And after only a few minutes, Luna joined me at the picnic table to sit down rather than spend any more time on her sprained ankle.
“Owww…” she groaned while gingerly lowering herself to the bench and then setting her single crutch aside.
“Ankle still hurting?”
“No, it’s perfectly fine. Why would you ever think my ankle might be hurting?” Luna drawled sarcastically.
I held both hands up and bowed my head.
“Sorry,” she muttered. “You’re being typically sincere, and I’m being frustrated, that’s all.”
“Understandable, after all you’ve been through.”
“Feel like I’m letting my team down.”
“Nah, don’t worry about them.” I gestured forward to the area about fifty feet away where the other eight girls continued working. “Belle and Mari have been making snowmen together for like a decade. You were just an obstacle getting in their way.”
Luna blinked. “Was that statement supposed to make me feel better?”
I shrugged. “Just proving I can teasingly mock you like anyone else instead of being typically sincere.”
Luna snorted, shook her head, and grinned.
“And I got you to smile, so Mission: Accomplished.”
Luna chuckled, and her grin widened. After a moment, she sighed and nodded. “Thanks for making me smile, Matty.”
“You’re very welcome.”
“Thanks for everything.” Luna took a deep breath and then added. “I never actually said ‘Thank you’ for coming to my rescue on the mountain, so thanks for that as well.”
I shook my head. “The ski patrol rescued you. I didn’t do a damn thing.”
“You did enough just by being there for me. You made sure I didn’t feel alone.”
I shrugged. “It’s what I do. It’s what we ALL do for each other, honestly. Much as I might want to, I can’t physically be there for every girl at the same time. There are ten of us on this trip, and we all support each other when things come up. I just happened to be the one closest to you when you went over the cliff.”
Luna smirked. “I think the level of support and devotion you give to the girls is a little bit more than just, ‘whoever happens to be closest’. At the very least, I can tell that whenever one of them has a problem, she’ll bypass the four girls nearest to her in order to come talk to you.”
I waggled my head. “Perhaps.”
“Skylar, for example, would bypass all eight of us here to come find you.”
“Well, she’s pretty good friends with Neevie, too,” I pointed out.
Luna gave me a curious look. “Speaking of: what happened this morning with you, Neevie, and Skylar?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean the three of you came downstairs looking pretty somber. Unexpectedly so, given that the three of you woke up the rest of us with the sounds of early-morning sex.”
I winced. “I’m sorry. Did we really wake up the rest of you?”
“You did, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.” Luna smirked again. “Belle and I were cuddled close on the queen bed and hearing you moan made her pretty frisky. We’re just not as loud as you guys.”
“I’m sure your mouths were otherwise occupied,” I quipped. “And you didn’t use the Murphy bed?”
“Mari took the Murphy bed.” Luna sighed and stared across the landscape for a moment. “I got used to sharing a dorm room twin bed with Isa. I rather enjoy sleeping cuddled up with someone, and so does Belle. She likes to snuggle up with Sam or Neevie too whenever she’s not with you. I told her I wasn’t sure what I was going to do now that Isa and I are broken up, and she offered to let me move in with her.”
“Huh…”
“It’s a nice offer,” Luna continued, “but I wouldn’t really want to intrude on your hospitality any more than I already have.”
“If it makes Belle happy, then I’m all for it.”
“I told her I’d think about it. At the same time, I’m not sure what I’d think about my parents paying for an expensive dorm room I’m not using.” Luna waved me off. “But we’re getting off-topic. I was asking about you, Neevie, and Skylar.”
I shrugged. “We had a pretty intense conversation, but it’s not the sort of thing I can share with you. Personal stuff. You understand.”
Luna waggled her head. “I understand, of course, and I can respect that you’ll always keep a girl’s secrets private.”
“You’re still curious, though,” I noted knowingly.
“Of course I am,” she admitted with a grin. “But don’t worry: I know better than to try and pressure you into talking about it.”
I arched an eyebrow. “Why do I get the impression you’re still gonna ask Neevie about it?”
Luna shrugged. “We’re girls. It’s what we do.”
“Well this one I’ll say is Skylar’s personal stuff, so I’d appreciate you not really pushing Neevie too hard about it.” I gave Luna a frank look. “Please?”
Luna blinked, thought about it, and nodded. “Okay. Sure. Because you asked. It’s the least I can do after everything you’ve done for me.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m serious. For everything you’ve done for me.” Luna furrowed her eyebrows, took a deep breath, and gave me a funny look. “I trust you, Matty. I really do, and that’s not something I say lightly. I’ve never trusted a man before. Never. Well, I trust mi papá, but you know what I mean.”
“I think I do.”
“I used to look at this club and wonder what the hell all these girls were thinking. Five girls sharing one guy? Why? At first, I thought you were just a good lay and the girls were using you to get easy orgasms without dealing with romantic complications or needy boyfriends. Figured you’d be a perfect booty-call for Isa. And when she and I kept showing up and you’d let her go for rides on demand, I thought that was really all there was to it.”
“But over time you realized there was more to it than that?”
“I remember thinking the girls kept you in line through sexual favors – ‘Behave or we’ll take away your nookie’ – but it’s not like that at all. I kept seeing the way you were so supportive of their emotional needs. I watched the way you even tried to get inside Isa’s head and heart with that whole chero thing. You’re… you’re different. You’re special.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“Not that I have any interest in fucking you.”
“You’ve made that point clear.”
“But I HAVE come to trust you, Matty. I’ve come to enjoy talking to you, in a way that I’ve never felt comfortable talking to other guys before. I see the way you are with all the other girls in The BTC, the way they all know with absolute certainty that they can always depend on you to be there for them. I’ve felt a growing sense in myself that you’ll be there for me, even though I haven’t done anything to deserve it. I guess what I’m saying is… is…”
Luna shook her head while staring at me. She scrutinized my face as if the words she was looking for were faintly etched into my forehead, and if she could only stare a little harder, she’d be able to read them aloud.
Finally, she took a deep breath, shrugged her shoulders, and gave me a shy smile. “I really like being here with The BTC. I really like this special group of girls, and Belle’s offer to move into the house is really quite tempting. But it’s not only tempting to bring me closer to Belle and the other girls. I guess what I’m saying is: I’m really tempted to move in to be closer to you.”
****
I predictably failed to declare a single “best” snowwoman, opting to praise all three of the contenders for various reasons.
Belle, Mari, and Luna’s snowwoman was empirically the closest to what one imagines when thinking of a snowman, with three spherical balls stacked in descending order, a top hat, a scarf, button eyes, and the carrot nose.
Naimh, Skylar, and Alice’s snowwoman was quite creative, eschewing the typical three-spheres shape in favor of a more realistic human being design. Skylar had somehow managed to include tree branches in giving their creation a skeleton to help the snow hold its form, and even had one arm extended upwards.
And Sam, Zofi, and Eva’s snowwoman… uh… well it was a bit of a hot mess (cold mess?), but it did have the biggest boobs.
Alice and Mari sniped back and forth a bit about Mari cheating with the manmade props, but in the end nobody gave me too much flak for being diplomatic about choosing a winner. Everyone had enjoyed themselves, we took a bunch of photos, and then packed up to leave.
We ate an early dinner at the restaurant we’d originally intended to visit yesterday. Although it was no longer “Karaoke Night”, they still had a live band. I ate a massive steak along with buttery mashed potatoes, gravy, and vegetables. By the time we got back to the house, all that food was settling into my stomach, and I was feeling quite drowsy.
Some of the girls wanted to slip into the hot tub and I was happy to join them. But even ogling their buoyant breasts couldn’t keep me awake. When I started falling asleep right there in the tub, Sam more or less ordered me to grab a nap, indicating that it would be in my best interests to get some more rest before we had our grand finale to the ski trip.
I did so gladly, cleaning up, getting into my pajamas, and falling into bed. And I think I passed out before my head even hit the pillow.
At some point later, my conscious brain stirred to life and I realized that I was curled up on my left side. But instead of finding myself spooned up behind the warm body of a buxom beauty with her bare breast heavy in my palm, I was hugging a pillow to my chest.
Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I cracked my eyelids open. I’d started my nap before sunset, with late afternoon daylight still coming through the window. But it was nighttime now, and the only illumination in the room came from the table lamp on the nightstand to my left. The room was silent – although not completely silent – with the muffled sounds of activity taking place elsewhere in the house.
I also heard the sounds of pages being turned in a book nearby, and after taking a deep breath, I turned my head to glance over my shoulder and found that I was not alone in bed. Sam sat up against the headboard, reading a paperback by the light of the table lamp. And as soon as she realized I was awake, she closed the book, set it aside, and leaned over to hug me.
“Mmm, have a nice nap, Sleeping Beauty?” Sam asked softly.
I briefly groaned at her calling me ‘Sleeping Beauty’, but the feel of Sam’s warm body cuddled up behind me – not to mention the weight of her heavy breasts against the back of my head – made me simply sigh and relax within her embrace. She squeezed me with both arms and leaned over to peck my cheek, nuzzling me softly.
“What time is it?” I mumbled. “How long was I asleep?”
“After six,” Sam informed me. “You were asleep for about an hour and a half.”
“How long have you been here?”
“Mmm, ‘bout half an hour. Just wanted to peek in, and you looked so adorably peaceful that I wanted to sit with you and give you something beautiful to wake up to.”
I smiled immediately. “Definitely something very beautiful to wake up to.”
Sam smiled back and leaned over to kiss me on the lips. Once our lips met, I rolled onto my back while she shifted down a bit alongside me. What we shared was more than just a peck, but not quite a full-on makeout session. And after a minute or so, she pulled up and grinned down at me.
“What’s everyone else doing?” I asked.
“Relaxing, hanging out, whatever. It’s still early and I told them we’d start up our little surprise at seven.”
“It’s not a surprise if I know you’re planning something.”
“It IS a surprise if you don’t know what we’re planning.”
“Drink, have sex, drink some more, and have more sex?”
Sam laughed before replying, “It’s like you can read my mind!”
I laughed with her for a moment before tugging her down to me for another kiss. Our lips touched gently, but she withdrew to keep laughing for another second before finally mashing our mouths together. We shared another brief makeout session, and this time I was the first to pull away to breathe.
“So if you told the girls to start at seven, that means I’ve got almost an hour alone with you, right?”
Sam shrugged. “Well the door isn’t locked, so someone else could walk in at any time. And sorry, but I’m not gonna slide under the covers to give you a blowjob or anything like that. Gotta save all your bullets for now.”
I waggled my head and then pointed out, “I can still save all my bullets while sticking my head beneath your shirt and nursing on your nipples. I can even stick my head somewhere anatomically lower on your body and nurse on something else.”
Sam giggled and promptly pulled her shirt hem up. “Well if you need a pacifier, you’re welcome to start with these.”
“Gawd I love you,” I breathed, immediately ducking my head down while tugging her bra cup out of the way and then feasting on a puffy pink teat, enjoying myself immensely.
Sam laughed and cradled my head to her chest, but I only suckled on her nipple for a few seconds before raising my head, kissing my way up the slope of her breast to her neck… to her chin… and finally to her lips.
When our mouths crashed together, I heard her inhale sharply and felt her hands clutch my head as the sudden passion of our love bloomed like a field of daisies getting a fresh glimpse of the sun. We kissed with hungry, raw fervor for each other. And for a few glorious minutes, our lives were full of light.
But neither of us let that passion get out of hand. I knew I had to save my bullets, and we both pulled back to catch our breaths long before our lips got bruised.
Rolling back onto my side and propping myself up with one elbow, I sighed mournfully. Sam gazed down at me dreamily, stroking my cheek with the backs of her fingers. Despite the gentle caress, I pouted up at her with a puppy-dog-eyed look.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“I can’t believe the trip is almost over,” I complained. “I don’t want to go back to Berkeley. I don’t want the NBGs to fly away.”
Sam pursed her lips and gave me a sad look. “I know how you feel. I don’t want to think about Zofi flying clear across the country again. Just when it was starting to feel like old times.”
Sitting up, I put my back to the headboard and then opened my arm to my Head Girlfriend. The blonde smiled and rather happily snuggled herself in alongside me, pillowing her head on my chest and shoulder and then nuzzling her nose into the crook of my neck.
“I’m very glad to see that you and Zofi have been getting along these last couple of weeks,” I told her. “Especially after what you told me about feeling estranged.”
“You and Zofi have a lot in common. Both of you patient. Both of you forgiving. I started having a similar conversation with her about not ‘deserving’ her loyalty, but she was quick to dismiss any such talk.” Sam shrugged. “She said, ‘Sam, I don’t want to deal with any drama over this. You were busy; I get it. I was never mad about it. Lonely? Yes. But not mad. So how about you don’t let me feel lonely anymore and let me just enjoy the time that we have?’”
I smiled. “Smart girl.”
“I still feel bad about the ‘lonely’ part.”
“I know you do.”
“But she was still eager to forgive and forget.”
“We’re The BTC. That’s what we do,” I confirmed. “We put aside arguments and make the effort to move forward together because that’s how much we love each other. More to the point: for Zofi to hold onto any resentments would be an utter waste given that all she wanted was to have you back.”
“Something else the two of you have in common.” Sam waggled a finger towards me and then sighed. “But I still don’t know what’s going to happen in the future between her and me.”
I glanced down at her. “What do you mean?”
She shrugged. “Everything’s fine and dandy right now. Zofi and I spent some time together back home. We’re here together on this ski trip. But she’s still flying back to Princeton on Saturday, and I have no idea what’s going to happen to our relationship when she does.”
“Meaning?”
Sam glanced up at me. “It’s easy for me to promise to fix my relationship with you. We live together. We’ll still see each other every day. I don’t want to say, ‘Out of sight, out of mind’ but…”
“But you know only too well that you’ve got a limited bandwidth, and once you and Zofi are on opposite sides of the country again, it’s going to be really difficult to keep in touch.”
Sam nodded glumly. “It’s not that I want to lose touch with Zofi--”
“But it feels inevitable.”
Sam nodded again. “Zofi feels it too. I tried to talk about it, but she didn’t want to waste more time or feel more angst thinking about it. She wants to enjoy the rest of winter break for as long as she can, but after that…?”
I frowned. “It’s not like some time apart will mean the two of you aren’t friends anymore. So long as you’re not avoiding her or ignoring her calls--”
“That’s just it. She told me not to worry about keeping in touch. She said she’s not going to call me. She said she’s not going to expect me to call her. She said she’s ready to move on, to make new friends at Princeton and discover who she wants to be growing up.”
I blinked. “That sounds like a good thing.”
“Like you said: it doesn’t mean we won’t be friends anymore. She’s just setting reasonable expectations and not asking me for anything more than I can give – her words, not mine. She’s trying to actively reduce my burden, specifically so I can dedicate more of my time to you.”
“Oh.”
“Case in point: Zofi’s the one who sent me up here to come check on you.”
I frowned. “But she’s the one who’s flying away on Saturday. I’ll still get to be with you. If anything, I should be sending you downstairs right this second to go spend more time with her.”
“She said you’d say that. She also said she didn’t want me or need me to come down right away. We’ll still have some time together later. It is our night with you tonight, after all.”
“Looking forward to it, assuming I’m not a desiccated shell of a human being by the time you girls are done with me tonight.”
Sam giggled and rubbed my chest. She looked thoughtful for a moment, and then she said softly, “For years, Zofi was my best friend. We spent all our time together, did everything together… experimented together. Zofi was my first kiss, after all.”
“Mine too, if you’ll recall.”
Sam grinned and then sighed. “It’s hard to think of a future where she isn’t my best friend anymore. But that’s the path that lays before us. Sometimes best friends go their separate ways. We meet new people, have new experiences. Our relationships evolve.”
“Funny you say that. I got into a pretty intense discussion with Mari, Alice, and Belle a couple of nights ago about how our relationships have to evolve. We’re not in high school anymore. And Mari, Alice, and Zofi aren’t really BTC anymore.”
“Don’t say that,” Sam said abruptly, picking her head up off my chest. “They will ALWAYS be BTC.”
I smiled at her kindly. “They’re BTC alumni, at least according to Alice’s definition. NBGs separated from the main pack, welcome to come and visit whenever they want, but no longer part of daily BTC life.”
“Well…” Sam hedged before grudgingly nodding and setting her head back down on my chest. “Maybe…”
“I just whined a few minutes ago about not wanting this trip to be over, and about wishing things could always stay the same. But life doesn’t work like that. People move forward and move on. We ALL evolve. While this trip has been ‘like’ high school, it hasn’t been exactly like high school. The simple fact that Eva, Skylar, and Luna are here with us is evidence enough of that.”
“Eva, Skylar, and Luna,” Sam repeated with a sigh, and then she shook her head sadly. “I like them well enough, don’t get me wrong, but please don’t think they could ever replace Zofi, Mari, and Alice in my heart.”
“Of course not,” I assured her. “No one ever said anything about replacing anyone.”
“It’s just…” Sam took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly. “It’s just…”
“Take your time,” I encouraged, recognizing that Sam was pressuring herself to find the words rather than let them come to her.
She glanced up at me with a grateful smile, took another deep breath, and slowly collected herself. For a moment, it looked like she was ready to speak. But rather than start, she pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes with an expression akin to someone who had just taken a drink of milk only to realize that it had spoiled and gone sour inside her mouth.
“Don’t like the sentence you were about to say?” I ventured.
Sam gave me that sour look and then bowed her head. “I’m gonna sound like a colossal bitch.”
I shrugged. “You are a bitch. You’re the ‘Head Bitch’ of The BTC, or maybe the ‘Boss Bitch’?”
“I think I still like the ‘Head Girlfriend’ title better.”
I smiled and gestured for her to continue. “No matter what you say, I won’t think any less of you. Be honest.”
Sam sighed, still kept that sour look, but ultimately nodded. “You remember what I said that first night in the hot tub? About the best way of knowing whether or not a girl is truly BTC?”
“You said that she decides whether or not she’s BTC,” I recalled.
Sam nodded. “I’ve seen a lot of girls come and go over the years. Girls who looked at what we had, joined up for a few days or a few weeks or whatever, but ultimately realized they didn’t quite click with us the way they or we might’ve hoped. Only six of us really made it: me, Zofi, Belle, Mari, Alice, and Neevie. Much as I like Holly, I can’t quite include her in that bunch.”
I waggled my head and replied, “That’s fair.”
“Lily came and went. Izzy too. And like it or not, I haven’t decided yet whether or not I believe Eva, Skylar, or Luna are going to stick around, either.”
“I think Eva’s sticking around for the long-haul,” I stated firmly.
“I think Eva’s sticking around with you for the long-haul,” Sam contended. “She’s committed to being with you, certainly. I’m less certain of how committed she is to the other girls.”
“She’s making progress on that side of things.”
“You’re only proving my point.” Sam sighed. “The BTC is supposed to be a group of best friends who always have each other’s back, who forgive each other’s mistakes, and who always support each other, no matter what. Like it or not, Matty, the BTC isn’t supposed to be a group of girls who love riding your big dick first and happen to not piss each other off too much in-between rounds of getting laid.”
“Says the girl who as far as I know is still planning a ‘surprise’ end-of-the-ski-trip orgy that starts at seven o’clock tonight.”
Sam waggled her head. “You got me there.”
I chuckled and stroked her upper arm.
Sam sighed. “I know Luna’s become good friends with Neevie and Belle over the past couple of months, but she and I have barely interacted. My fault, I know, for not being around much myself. Hell, Eva’s probably spent more waking hours inside the house than me this semester.”
“Probably,” I agreed.
“And then Skylar…” Sam began before shaking her head, taking a deep breath, and sighing without continuing that sentence.
“What about Skylar?”
Sam raised her hand and then flicked it dismissively. “I still don’t know what to think about Skylar. She seems nice enough, but I’ve interacted with her even less than I have with Luna.”
“Well, I know for a fact that you and Skylar… interacted in the hot tub two nights ago.”
Sam frowned. “What?”
I grinned. “The night I spent with Belle and Mari having our ‘Evolution’ talk. You, Neevie, and Skylar were skinny-dipping in the hot tub together. Skylar got plastered to the point where Neevie said she wanted to throw the wine bottles off the side of the deck. Then Alice stripped down and went to join the three of you while I headed inside with Mari.”
Sam smirked up at me. “Sorry to spoil your fantasies, but Skylar and I definitely didn’t… ‘interact’.” She went ahead and mimed the air quotes.
I blinked in surprise. “You didn’t?”
“We barely know each other, Matty. I mean, Neevie was obviously quite happy to get sandwiched between a couple of busty blondes, but all three of us were doing more drinking, talking, and giggling than pawing at each other’s nekkid bodies.”
“Aww, really?”
Sam laughed. “Aww, you look so disappointed.”
“Not ‘disappointed’. More…” I winced and then shrugged. “I guess I should’ve known better. I shouldn’t have assumed.”
“Skylar and I aren’t like that. She’s obviously pretty enough to inspire that kind of lust. But we…” Sam’s voice trailed off as she reminisced for a moment and then suddenly smirked. “Alice came outside, and she started using the wine cork to… I mean… wow.”
Sam mimed her mind exploding with both hands expanding away from the sides of her head, and I chuckled and nodded at the imagery.
“But that was only me ‘interacting’ with Neevie and Alice. Skylar and I…” Sam took a deep breath and then shook her head. “We’re not really friends, and we just don’t click like that. Not yet at least.”
“I gathered as much.” I raised my eyebrows. “Any particular reason?”
“I dunno.” Sam sighed before looking up and giving me a serious look. “I admittedly feel a little defensive around her.”
“You know you don’t need to be.”
“I can’t help it. She’s older than me, taller than me, blonder than me, with gorgeous blue eyes and that sexy British accent.”
“You’re gorgeous, I love your hair, I love your warm brown eyes, and you have a sexy Aussie accent,” I assured Sam, squeezing her tight.
“She’s an Engineer,” Sam pointed out.
“Well sure, but so are several thousand other students at Cal, including Izzy, and look at how that turned out.” I gave Sam a serious look. “You’re my Aphrodite. You have nothing to be jealous about. Skylar’s not a threat to you.”
“I know that, intellectually. But sometimes I can’t help the way I feel. It’s nothing Skylar’s done specifically. And I want to be warm and welcoming, but…”
When Sam’s voice trailed off, I went ahead and finished, “… but sometimes you can’t help the way you feel.”
“I can’t.”
“In all fairness, it doesn’t seem that Skylar’s gone to much effort to try and connect with you either,” I pointed out. “It’s not like the burden of responsibility is all on you to reach out with an olive branch. I can talk to her about it. But like I said: Skylar’s a little shy.”
“I noticed. Unexpectedly so, or maybe that was just me misreading her appearance.” Sam shrugged. “Most girls who look the way she does are just… well…”
“You thought she’d be a little more outgoing? A little more attention-seeking? A little more like you?”
Sam blushed and looked down, her expression that of a girl caught with her hand in the cookie jar. “I like being beautiful. It makes me feel powerful, in control.” She then grimaced and deflated somewhat. “Which is actually just one more reminder of how much work it takes to feel like I’m always in control.”
I pursed my lips, briefly thinking about what Mother had told me about how easily “control” can be taken away from a beautiful woman. I thought back over everything Skylar had told me about George, Aunt Millie, and the fallout with her friends.
After taking a deep breath, I muttered, “I gather that she may have been a little more outgoing and attention-seeking when she was younger, but that’s not really her thing anymore.”
Sam arched an eyebrow. “I gather you know a little more about her reasons than you’re ready to share.”
I shrugged. “I gather that you’re right.”
Sam shrugged as well and then shook her head. “And I gather that I know better than to pry. But that only further proves my point: the OG BTC girls shared everything with each other. The new girls? Eva confided in you first. So did Skylar. I’m still trying to figure out Luna, as well.”
“Actually spend more time with us this upcoming semester and I’m sure you’ll learn a lot about all of them.”
“I know, I know. It’s just…” Sam took a deep breath and then sighed. “I guess what I’m trying to say is: At this point in our relationships, I can’t trust Eva, Skylar, and Luna the way I can trust Zofi, Mari, and Alice.”
“That’s fair.”
“I’d feel comfortable putting my life into the hands of the OG BTC. I know with fierce conviction that each and every one of them would run through a brick wall for me. They’d dash into a burning building to come rescue me. I know that. I trust in that. And I know with fierce conviction that I’d dash into a burning building for any of them.” Sam winced. “But the new girls?”
“You’d be a little more willing to let them die inside a burning building?”
Sam winced. “That’s the part that makes me sound like a colossal bitch.”
I shook my head. “You don’t sound like a colossal bitch. You can’t be – and shouldn’t be – expected to dash into burning buildings for people just because.”
“I bet that you’d dash into a burning building for any of them.”
“Well…”
“I bet you’d rush headlong after one of them down a too-steep slope on a snowboard you’d only started learning how to ride a few hours earlier.”
I blushed and shrugged. “Well, fine. But as you’ve pointed out, I’ve developed stronger relationships with all three of them than you have so far.”
“The three of them have come to trust you. They don’t trust ME, and rightfully so. I haven’t given any of them much reason to trust me yet.”
“You’ve known all three of them for what, five months? Even less than that for Skylar and Luna,” I argued. “You knew Zofi, Mari, and Alice for years. Trust takes time – in both directions.”
“They’ve all come to trust YOU in a scant few months,” Sam pointed out.
“Well it just goes to show that if you put in the effort, and if you make the time to join us this coming semester, that coming to trust each other is totally possible.” I squeezed Sam reassuringly. “You’ll get there eventually, assuming they stick around.”
“That’s a big assumption. But I will say this: I hope they all stick around. I want to come to trust all three of them. I believe they could each benefit The BTC as a whole, and ultimately help make this BTC 2.0 just as special as the original.”
“Me too, Sam.” I squeezed her once more. “Me too.”
For a minute, both of us went silent, lost in our thoughts. I found myself picturing a future a year - or years - down the road after Eva, Skylar, and Luna had all been completely integrated into The BTC to the point where they’d earned the same level of trust as the OG BTC.
I found myself imagining Sam fading away from that picture like Marty McFly in Back to the Future. Taking a deep breath, I squeezed Sam tight with both arms as if I could physically hold onto her and prevent her from fading away.
Sam felt the sudden tension in my arms and looked up at me. “What’s wrong?”
“I need you to stick around,” I told her with an unexpected rasp in my voice. “I’ve spent all semester reassuring you that I’ll always wait for you, that I’ll always love you unconditionally. Those things are true: I will wait for you. I will love you unconditionally.”
“I smell a ‘but’ coming…” Sam murmured softly.
I sighed. “But I need… I mean… It’s just… I meant what I said about loving you unconditionally, and this isn’t a… a condition… But this IS me ‘squeaking up’ to say, I need you to stick around.”
“I know you do.”
“I NEED you in my life. I WANT to be patient. I DON’T want to put any additional burdens on you.”
“I smell another ‘but’ coming…”
“But I have MISSED you, alright?” I felt my voice start to quaver. “Look: I’m as much BTC as the rest of you. We forgive, we support, and we do our best to move forward. I’m forgiving, I’m supporting, and I’m doing my best to move forward. But my trust in you has eroded. I wish it hadn’t, but it happened all the same. I wanted to be a stronger man for you. I wanted to shout to the world, ‘Hey everybody! You all expected us to fail. Well we didn’t! Look at us. We’re not only surviving, but we’re thriving!’”
“Only we’re not exactly ‘thriving’.” Sam sighed.
“I’m not trying to start up another conversation about whether or not you deserve me. You do. Period. You’ve earned my undying devotion and unconditional love a thousand times over.”
“But you’re still allowed to ‘squeak up’. Because you’ve earned my undying devotion and unconditional love a thousand times over,” Sam stated fiercely. “Trust takes time, right? Well I. Trust. YOU.”
I smiled.
“You’re the single most trustworthy human being in the entire universe for me, alright?” she continued. “You’re my home. You’re the very foundation of my self-confidence because I trust that you’ll always be there for me no matter what. Like… they have a literal thing called a ‘trust fall’, and I KNOW with absolute certainty that you’ll always be there to catch me. You’re the one I trust to have my back, and I’ll love YOU unconditionally because of it.”
“I will always have your back. I would never abandon you.”
Sam sat up and turned to face me, her eyes glowing with amber fire. “You need to trust that -I- would never abandon YOU. No matter what.”
“I do trust you,” I assured her.
Sam grabbed both of my hands and squeezed them. “I mean it. I would never abandon you. And that’s important, because I KNOW just how much of a complex you have about being abandoned.”
“I don’t have a complex,” I muttered defensively.
But Sam squeezed my hands even harder and gave me a kind look as she drawled, “You kinda do have a complex.”
I pursed my lips and looked away.
But Sam tugged on my hands until I looked back at her, and she leaned forward to stare straight into my eyes. “Please trust that I’ll never abandon you.”
“You kinda did abandon me for a semester there,” I muttered. “Hence the erosion in my trust.”
Sam frowned. “And I’m sorry for that. I took you for granted. The lawyer in me wants to argue that while I may have… withdrawn from you a little bit, I never actually abandoned you. But I realize that arguing semantics isn’t going to really help my case at the moment.”
“It’s not.”
Sam took a deep breath to collect herself and then squeezed my hands again. “I’m going to earn back your trust. I realize that my promise to be better is just a bunch of words at the moment. Like Eva said, with my promise and a nickel, you’d have a grand total of five cents.”
I snorted and sighed.
“I won’t abandon you,” Sam insisted. “I won’t.”
“And I won’t abandon you,” I replied, nodding firmly.
“We’re gonna be able to stare down everyone who expected us to fail and rub it in their faces that we not only survived, but that we thrived, alright? We’re gonna make it. Trust me.”
I squeezed Sam’s hands back, nodding slowly.
“I trust you.”
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The next chapter will post on June 6th. For anyone who can't wait, Beta Tier has a 7-chapter lead.
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Comments
Bluedragonauthor
Exactly. . . . In all seriousness, it's a "Ehhh..."
JD
Is waggling a head a yes, or a no? Everyone is doing it now, and I don't know what they mean.
