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Novel Excerpts

🕑 Added 2023-12-19 03:43:35 +0000 UTC

Comments

Thank you!! I will share your feedback and idea with the writer :) This is the beginning to impress the reader with the character of Dante, so please look forward to what is coming next.

Thank you and yaaay😂 We are happy to hear that you enjoyed it hehe

Yoshi Darkice

Oh, this design is also nice. He has more of a rebellious vibe in this one. It's off to a nice start. The sensual shadows part in the beginning is a nice touch, but sounds a bit weird as an opening. We don't know what the shadows being cast are but they're described as sensual. The first two sentences can be remixed so that the shadows are of two figures entwined, and later Dante and Sam are highlighted in the narration. I'm just going by the excerpt, assuming that's how the scene or chapter opens. If they're already established, then it might make more sense, but I like being a bit more specific with what exactly the sensual shadows are. Maybe there can be some additional detail somewhere about how the magic looks or how it's affecting Sam's body, if it does. Like a popular spell is increased sensation or perception. Little details like that go a long way for the reader's fantasy in the big picture of the scene. The narration highlights specific details and drives the scene forward for the reader's visual experience, which I think is one of the more intimate ways to write a sexual romance novel. 🌺🍵🙏

Physical exam

Yes I love it. To tell the truth, I was getting aroused 🍡


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