eunzel
patreon
잠 안오는 새벽
🕑 Added 2019-02-03 19:51:15 +0000 UTC벌써 작은 설날이에요~
다들 새해 복 많이 많이 ^___^
오늘은 엄마 아빠가 집으로 올라와주셔서 같이 차타고 인천에 다녀왔어요. 인천을 한번도 안가봐서 구경이 하고 싶으셨대요. 가서 한 건 아무것도 없고 그냥 바다만 보고 왔어요 그것도 차 안에서 ㅎㅎ 다행이 바다가 만수여서 물이 가득차 있었어요.
짧은 드라이브만으로도 기분은 많이 좋아졌어요.
그렇게 좋아하는 공차도 거의 한달 반? 두달만에 다녀왔어요.
밤에는 집에서 다같이 미니빔으로 영화를 보다가 오랜만에 일찍 잠들었는데...
중간에 깼다가 아직도 잠못들고 있네요.
막연한 불안감과 고독함 외로움에 잠못드는건 저만이 아니겠죠? ㅎㅎ 에셈알을 처음 접했던 그 시간들이 다시 생각나는 요즘이에요.
예전에는 생각이 많으면 SNS에 쓰곤 했는데. 의미없는 말을 찌끄리기도 하고 징징대기도 하고 가끔은 저급해보이는 말도 수다도 편하게 떨고 그랬는데 갈수록 어느 곳에도 제 생각을 말하는게 꺼려지고 속으로 삼키게 돼요.
설날 어떻게 보내고 있나요?
참, 이제 다시 영상을 조금 더 만들어 올릴 수 있을 것 같아요! ㅎㅎ 기다림이 길지 않게 할게요
Short sensative diary written at 4:30 AM
Thanks to Seolnal, I can enjoy happy warm time with my parents.
We drived to Incheon to see the sea. The weather was bad so we could just look out of the car window, but still it was enough for me to feel refreshed since for last two months, I haven't had any chance to meet friends or go to cafe etc.
When I can't fall asleep till this late, I get to remind the times when I was addicted to watch ASMR videos haha.
Maybe there are a lot of people like me who have hard time sleeping because of floating anxiety or lonliness etc. The reason I started to make ASMR was definitely to help people like me, but to survive as a Korean youtuber was another problem. So I've been trying to find a way.
Btw I can finally make more ASMR videos besides Prank Eating sounds very soon. As soon as this Seolnal holiday is finished, I'll start to work hard :)
I'm happy to have a place like this where I can reveal my thoughts, weaknesses, and loneliness etc.
Comments
Praveen
I'm glad that you have this space to safely share your thoughts without being needlessly ridiculed :). I'm also going through a similar time as I'm afraid of what will happen if my career move doesn't pan out. But, as long as you have a solid (yet flexible) plan in place then you really just need to trust in the process as it will eventually work itself out. Like what Colton said, make sure you do take some time out to think and reflect on why you started in the first place as it makes things less overwhelming :) :).
Hi Eunzel, I think that your viewers realize that you have been very stressed recently. It is good to hear that you have been able to take some time for yourself and reflect. I think it is important to remember how you got started doing ASMR, and to just try to always be true to yourself. I think that is when you are at your best. I am excited to see what you will be working on in the near future. --Colton
EUNZEL
역시 이시간까지 깨있는것도 나 혼자는 아니었어! ㅎㅎㅎㅎ
갈수록 표현을 안하고 삭히게 되는 것 같아요. 그래도 참으면 병되니 징징대길 ㅋㅋ
