B.F.HUUPS
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Chapter 43
🕑 Added 2025-07-27 20:17:14 +0000 UTCTaking a minute for himself before starting his next trail, Aaron pulled out his Cape of the Starwalker and Soul Strengthening Radish and inspected them.
Soul Strengthening Radish [ Rare ]
Consume this radish to strengthen your race and take you one step closer to race evolution.
Race evolution? Right, our races are grading in the status screen, aren’t they? Aaron also vaguely remembered Douglas making a passing mention about race evolutions.
“Cat got your tongue?” Sooty said as he studied Aaron’s curious expression. “Ye gone and scared off Mo-man, the least ye can do is act normal.”
“Wait, Mo-man? You have pet names for each other?”
“Sure, why not?” Sooty shrugged.
What the hell happens in this place while I’m gone?
“Whatever. Good for you, Sooty. I’m glad you made a friend. By the way, do you know much about race evolutions?”
“A bit,” Sooty confirmed.
“Care to elaborate?”
“Well, for starters, you can’t gain more than one Class or Profession tier above your race. So, you can hit E grade in your class before your race, but you’ll be stuck at E grade if you don’t upgrade your race as well. Races don’t just upgrade via experience like Classes and Professions do, either. That said, hitting E grade is easy, at least for humans and other races that don’t have a bottleneck at E grade.”
“I see, and that’s all there is to it? What does this soul radish thing got to do with that,” Aaron said, waving the radish.
“Soul-strengthening consumables are the fastest way to evolve ye race. Without them, ye’ll hit E eventually, but it might take a few years for your body to naturally do it. And as for what they do. Each upgrade extends your life expectancy by about ten times. It can also change the way ye look. With each evolution, you become a little closer to ye personal idea of perfection. Also, your relationship with food, oxygen, things like that, changes. Basically, ye become a higher lifeform with each grade you increase.”
“Seriously? That’s… that’s freaking amazing,” Aaron stammered. The length of his life would expand by ten times for each grade he increased?
Without further hesitation, he threw the radish into his mouth. “Hell, evolving race sounds better than leveling up.”
“Well, it won’t make ye strong. But ye not totally wrong, either. At higher grades, racial evolution consumables can cost a fortune. Entire wars can be fought for strong enough ones.”
“I see,” Aaron nodded thoughtfully. “A war fought over a root vegetable… amazing.”
“Yep. Ye can grow them, though. If ye pick up a botany Profession. Need good soil, though. Ye’ll learn about all of this after the trial. Farming lands ripe for growing soul fruits and vegetables is rare and often fought over.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
One more thing to worry about once this is all said and done. But who knows, maybe I’ll get lucky and find a nice plot to throw up my dream homestead?
Casting his unhelpful doubts aside, Aaron inspected his cape.
Cape of the Starwalker [ Rare — E grade ]
Woven from the cosmic hemp that grows wildly along the seams of space rifts, this cape has been imbued with their strange energies.
Provides: Minor resistance to both space and void damage types.
Reading the description, Aaron didn’t know when or where he might run into space and void damage. That said, he didn’t have a cape yet, and so he threw the light-catching silver cape on.
“I never asked, but can I just keep throwing jewelry and clothing on for their bonuses?” Aaron asked as he fitted the cape.
“What? No!” Sooty huffed as if the question was unbearably stupid. “Each clothing item can only be worn once to receive its bonuses, except rings, which you’re allowed two of. The System also allows for only three additional item provided Skills, on top of your own Skills. There are also other bonuses which you’re only allowed one of at a time, but those items usually say as much in their descriptions.”
“I see. So I might as well have one piece of every clothing type.”
“Yes, unless there’s a reason not to.”
“And is there?” Aaron probed.
“For ye? No. But some gear is counted as a suit. It’s a special condition. These items are usually pretty good. But again, their conditions should be on display in the item inspection window. There are also a few other rare examples of items that negate the effects of other items providing benefits if you choose to wear them, but again, these are normally top-tier stuff, and well worth the downsides. Of course, that’s assuming they’re not cursed.”
“Wait, cursed? No one ever mentioned anything about cursed items.”
“Oh, yeah. The System won’t hand them out for quests, though, so ye don’t have to worry. Curses won’t show in a simple inspection. You need an advanced version to spot them. They can be quite nasty, too, and difficult to remove. Ye best be careful of them, bossman. Just be careful of enchanted items you find in the wild once ye leave this place.”
“Yeah, I’d better.”
Aaron was mildly annoyed that his helper didn’t offer up this seemingly important information unless probed, but he wasn’t going to push it. He had a feeling doing so would just cause more issues.
Through the corner of his eye, he spotted Mo’han returning from a trial just to start another after taking a second to place his newly acquired item in his pouch.
That guy will run laps around me if I’m just standing here! Time to work.
He needed to get back to grinding. That meant trials, and also, his Profession was falling behind again.
More importantly, he was curious about the look Oozagh’s shadow had shot him in the earlier trail. Yendal had known he had the ogre’s blessing, so no doubt Oozagh knew about the martial goddess as well. But he hadn’t lost his blessing, and as much as he wasn’t a fan of drama, he wanted to get this over and done with. If the ogre had something to say about it, he was just going to have to listen.
With a reluctant sigh, Aaron pressed down on the dial and entered the trial.
The Trial of Endurance: Survive the overwhelming strength of the giants Rid and Tid until the trial timer ends.
What happened once he entered the Trial of Endurance was not what he expected. Not at all.
He was standing on a huge column, so high in the air that clouds were passing by, and both his arms were spread out and wrapped in chains. But the most concerning part was the two giants holding onto the chains, who were about to play tug-of-war with his freaking arms.
“What the fuck?” He exclaimed.
But just as the giants pulled on the chains, Oozagh’s shadow reached out and grabbed them. The shadow wasn’t even strained and snapped the huge chains effortlessly.
“So, you took her blessing, did you, puny human?” Oozagh said as his shadow filled with color. “Bahah, you have more balls than I gave you credit for! Bahah! Of course, one blessed by the Mighty Oozagh would have the gall to seek a second blessing!”
“So you’re not angry?”
“Angry? Why would I be?! Bahah! Oozagh blesses only the best! And this only proves your might. However, your cooking leaves much to be desired. But I cannot enter the trial hallways themselves to teach you. It is a shame. You’re an ogre son now, and your talents should match that. That goddess is too dainty. Too finicky. No, that’s not what you need, puny human!” Oozagh slammed his mighty fists against his impressive gut, sending rippling energy waves crashing out and temporarily dazing Aaron.
“I’ve put your little trial on hold for now. First, we must cook and EAT! I will show you the true way of the ogre gut! Then, when you see that prancing goddess again, you can show her your might! And your gut!”
This isn’t going to end well, is it? Although, despite his fears of getting stuck between two feuding gods, Aaron had to admit he had a pretty damn good opportunity placed before him. He had an opportunity to learn from two gods, and his Profession had been lacking. After all, his main goal was growing strong enough to save himself and possibly Earth. He wasn’t exactly in a position to refuse.
“Alright, let’s do it,” Aaron said, his apprehensive grimace twisting into a smile.
With a snap of his fingers, Oozagh transported them across the trial, which seemed to be a world of its own. He explained that the trial would continue after, but he would have to take it as normal. There would be repercussions if the god tried to help him cheat the trial; besides, he wouldn’t steal a disciple's chance to learn and grow anyway.
They appeared in a crude, medieval-looking kitchen. But there were all kinds of herbs, spices, and meats around.
“Go on, show me.”
Shrugging, Aaron did as the god requested and got to cooking. But every ingredient earned a groan and a sign from the large ogre who constantly shook his head.
“What are you doing, puny human? Why are you so particular? It’s annoying. See this?”
The ogre held a spiked slug between his fingers.
“Yeah?”
“The syphilis slug. A great source of stamina and protein,” Oozagh threw it into the pot. “Minatour shit is great for vitality. Pixie tears for mana. Ettin foreskin for longevity.”
Oozagh continued to rattle off ingredients as he threw them into the pot, concern sketching itself deeper and deeper into Aaron’s expression.
“Why deprive yourself of all this goodness? Bahah, stupid human! Oh, witch cheese, it softens the skin! Oh, and boiled togs! Can’t forget those. And an absolute metric shit ton of mustard powder!”
“Mustard?”
“Good for the ticker and an anti-inflammatory."
“Mustard it is, then,” Aaron shrugged and grabbed a huge bag of mustard powder and poured it in.
“Good. We want all the good stuff in there. It’ll make for better buffs.”
This continued on. Aaron had thought his concoctions mad before, and had actually attempted to tame himself for more precise outcomes. But Oozagh’s cooking actually took him in the opposite direction. There was no care or delicacy, just throw as many buff-providing ingredients into the goop concoction they were making as possible.
Experience rewarded for discovering a recipe!
Ding!
[ Ogre Taste Tester ] has LEVELED UP!
15 → 16
“Perfect!” Oozagh roared as they finished and tested the vile mixture. “Bahah, I can taste boons! This is the good stuff.”
Aaron followed, tasting the mixture. For a moment, he could feel his body trembling as if it remembered what it was like to have a human gut, and how absolutely toxic the mixture he had just ingested would be, had it still been human. But it settled quickly, and soon after, he was feeling noticeably stronger.
Curious about what he had just ingested, Aaron inspected the bubbling cauldron.
Foul Ogre Sludge [ Epic - F grade ]
This foul creation is toxic for most denizens of the multiverse, but ogres swear on it. Claiming that it cures just about every ailment and provides strength, vitality, virility, endurance, longevity, and even resistance. Though exactly how effective these boons are is hard to verify, even for the System, which even gets confused by the sheer amount of ingredients added.
“Err, what?”
“Bahaha! Reading the bonus’ are you, puny human? Ignore them! This is the way of the ogre gut! Don’t be so delicate and puny! Be big and strong!”
“Yeah, oookay,” Aaron said, somewhat unsure.
He hadn’t seen an item description that was unsure of itself, but then again, it was Epic.
“Now, one last thing before I leave you, puny human!”
“Oh?”
“It wouldn’t be right to leave you with that goddess alone. She’s such a stickler for ‘the proper way’ to do things. Bah! Boring! If I leave you with her, you’ll be stuck in E tier while your friends are approaching C tier. The ogre way is more fun, and much faster, and it suits you much better! So here! An offer for you!”
Blessing upgrade offered [ Minor → Moderate ]: The god of gluttony and cooking, Oozagh the Rotund, has offered to upgrade your blessing. Caution: Blessings are limited by the power of one’s bloodline. You may or may not be eligible for multiple blessings, and consideration should be taken when deciding whether or not to accept a god’s offer.
Accept the invitation to hear the god’s offer? Y/N?
“Wait, again?” Aaron’s eyes widened.
Time remaining until offer expires: 00:00:57
Comments
Nick Richie
This is great!
