Road to Recovery
🕑 Added 2022-10-28 16:24:41 +0000 UTCPlease let me start by saying that I’m not asking for medical advice so please do not share advice at this time. My doctors and nurses are doing great at keeping me healthy.
The road to recovery is a long and winding one. I’ve heard this 1 million times before and while I have broken bones in the past and endured moments of recovery, I’ve never experienced anything like this. Often times when we are in a state of heightened awareness about our physical health we can tend to have anxiety and fear can rise like the tides. I’ve been having a lot of these moments struggling with anxiety and fear through this. Because of the seriousness of the surgery and the advanced State of the fibroids in my uterus the hysterectomy was particularly traumatic to my body. My surgeon explained to me that a normal uterus is 60 g and mine was over 600 g. This explains why I felt and looked like I was five months pregnant for such a long time. Because they were so many fibroids and they had grown so large, the surgery was a bit more complicated than anyone would have liked. What an incredible surgical team to be able to pull it off with as little trauma to my body as possible. I keep saying how thankful I am and how blessed I feel to have come out of this as well as I did. And I will keep saying it. It’s just so true. I’ve had anxiety my entire life but nothing peaks my anxiety like worrying about my health. Some major concerns along with the surgery are infection. I am at high risk for infection because of the details of the removal which I am going to choose not to go into in this moment. The word infection is terrifying after a surgery. I think it’s the thing that everybody fears the most. Infection and blood clots, those two things are common and scary. Fortunately my recovery is going really well! I always understood the importance of probiotics but now more than ever I’m focusing on staying positive and being proactive with my healing. That means lots and lots and lots of probiotics. Kombucha, yogurt, kimchi, pickles, anything pickled is really good as a probiotic. I am also taking probiotic supplements. I was on three antibiotics. I’m not going to give you the names of those antibiotics at this time but I finished one last night so now I’m working on finishing the 2 other antibiotics. The last two are harsh. The side effects of one of them is terrible nightmares, I’ve been experiencing these bad dreams but if it helps stave off infection it’s worth it but how I hate taking pills. I’m learning to trust the professionals because what they are doing is working. This is my personal experience so please follow your own journey based on your doctors recommendations. Each healing journey is unique.
My journey is mine so please do not take this as gospel for everyone. I just want to share for those who are going through this and have fear.
Here’s some exciting things I’m learning and mile markers that I’m experiencing.
The fear… breathe through it. It comes in big crashing waves. When I’m swimming in the ocean and the waves come crashing down I learned to dive under the wave before it hits. Same concept here. When I feel the waves of fear coming I stop, acknowledge the fear, breathe deeply, and go under the fear. I look for What is safe and what is real. Jeremy is real and safe. The cat that guards my house is real and safe. The plants in my room are real and safe. Do you see where I am going with this? I count ten things around me that are safe, then use my tactile senses to touch things around me that are real. At times I have to differentiate what is real and what is not. The fear is not real, it is imagined. Even if danger is present, so is some sort of safety, usually.
I focus in these things while doing squared breathing. Here is an example of squared breathing for anxiety.
This helps greatly with trauma responses and anxiety. With a history of PTSD it’s important to not allow myself to spiral mentally. The more calm I keep my mind, the more my body follows suit and vice versa. I thought I had mastered this but as it turns out, I’m still in the process of mastering these methods. I think it’s a lifetime journey.
Anxiety produces physical pain for me as well as mental. Because of this reality, This process includes understanding weather my pain in the moment is actually physical or if it’s being heightened by fear. To differentiate i must get myself to a calm state.
This matters because I need to be aware of how much medication I need to take. The fear in me may say, “I need pain relief now”, which can lead to dependency on pain meds. This can be dangerous. It’s important for me to be aware of how much pain medication I’m taking so o don’t become too dependent on it. That can be bad.
I’m noticing that if I can ground myself this way I can be more conservative with my intake. The meds are addictive and that’s a problem I do not need or want on top of everything else. So I stop and think before I take anything at all. Do I need this? How much do I realistically need?
It’s crucial to stay ahead of the pain so it can be tricky but if I use these techniques I find myself able to cope more realistically, coming from a health minded space m, rather than a fearful space. Fear creates doubt and when we doubt our ability to heal we can easily spiral into unhealthy patterns to cope. Therefore stifling our healing.
I am a purpose driven person so having no purpose is very triggering so I must remind myself that my purpose right now is to celebrate the tiny victories like, learning to pee and poop again. Learning to walk and be somewhat independent again. I have to rely on others a great deal right now. I have to ask for help. I’m bad at asking for help so I’m learning to stop attaching shame to asking for help. It’s ok to be vulnerable. It’s healthy to be vulnerable.
I’m falling in love with Jeremy all over again through this process. It’s a beautiful thing to trust that my partner has my best interest in mind and is solid like a rock. He has been so kind and gentle with me physically and emotionally.
Also, my wedding ring now fits again since the swelling is starting to subside. This is another tiny victory that we can celebrate. Right now we are finding joy in the little things because the little things are building blocks to the bigger accomplishments to come. Like headstands. I miss having the strength to do yoga, headstands and dance. But these tiny victories are just stepping stones on that journey to a full recovery. Healing is not linear. It shifts and changes day to day, moment to moment and that is ok. Simply Existing is an accomplishment today and anything beyond that is a celebration.
I’m reminded that it’s ok to not be ok but it is my responsibility to try my best to be better than ok when I have the strength.
I know I’m not the only one going through difficulties in this time. My heart is with everyone out there struggling to get through and feeling confused about how to move forward.
Breathe, celebrate the tiny victories and try to look for reasons to be thankful for the bright spots when they come.
Comments
Danielle Colby Striptease Historian
💗🙏💗 thank you, I’m doing just that
Danielle Colby Striptease Historian
Thank you Carlitos💗🙏💗
Les
Be well. Be safe. Love you
Carlos
Sending you love and hugs.. Get well soon my dear friend.. much love.
Danielle Colby Striptease Historian
Kathy, You also have a tremendous will🙏 did it help being an LPN or was is more frightening knowing everything that was happening? I feel more at ease the more I know. Details calm my nerves when it comes to health care. Nurses are saints💗
Kathy Randle
Danielle I have had so many surgeries in 2 I almost lost my life. I as for you have a tremendous will it and out of our lives. You're full of your own faith and wisdom. Never got addicted to pain pills either and neither will you. Lol. Get good rest eat well and stay hydrated. Remember that I am a retired LPN. Lol
Danielle Colby Striptease Historian
💗🙏💗
Greg Smith
You and Jeremy are about the most married couple, that are not married, ever. Here's my early congratulations to both of you. May your life together be filled with love and happiness.
Wes Melton
Glad to hear you are starting to feel better. I was taught the square breathing technique to calm the actor nerves and it works. I find myself starting to do it in even minor stress situations without even thinking consciously about it. Take care, follow medical orders and rest.
Danielle Colby Striptease Historian
💗🙏💗 thank you
B Z
Hey Danielle, I think that you are really doing well. For you to write that much content after just having surgery this week. Your mind is spot on. God Bless!
Danielle Colby Striptease Historian
💗🙏💗
Danielle Colby Striptease Historian
❤️🩹wow! I’m so happy you made it through that ordeal. I can’t imagine how strong you are to survive all of that. My best friend survived a type 1 aortal dissection and it was harrowing to say the least. She is healing beautifully now, 5 years later. As for wedding, We put on our rings right away. We had to reschedule the wedding twice due to my health issues. So we’re not married legally yet. After my healing we will revisit the marriage bit. I’m excited to finally be well and move forward 💗🙏💗
Danielle Colby Striptease Historian
Thank you Andrew🙏
Danielle Colby Striptease Historian
So many hugs to you!🖤
Danielle Colby Striptease Historian
💗🙏💗
Danielle Colby Striptease Historian
💗🙏💗
Danielle Colby Striptease Historian
💗🤗💗
Danielle Colby Striptease Historian
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Danielle Colby Striptease Historian
💗🤗💗 thank you!
Danielle Colby Striptease Historian
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Danielle Colby Striptease Historian
Thank you! ❤️🩹I’m so excited to return
Danielle Colby Striptease Historian
Thank you Matt in California 🤗
Danielle Colby Striptease Historian
❤️🩹you and me both. Thank you
Danielle Colby Striptease Historian
💗🙏💗
Danny Steffenhagen
Just do what you need to do and don't let anyone tell you different. You are loved by so many people and they are pulling for you to have a guick and safe recovery ❤️ 🙏
dmo
Glad to hear that you are on the road to recovery!!
Matt Forrest
So glad you are embracing the the recovery and healing with a focus on you. Know that so many of us are sending positive vibes to give you support on your journey to full recovery. Being vulnerable is a risk worth taking to foster a positive support web around you. We love you and want you to feel well and so much better after your healing binds your body back together. You will be stronger and in a much better focus on you after this is behind you. Take your time to heal fully. Be well Danni Matt in California
Christopher Langlais
I’m happy to know that you’re doing well, it sounds like you’re doing all the right stuff. Take it slow, your army of supporters has got your back and we’ll all be right here when you’re ready. ♥️
Shaggonwagon
Best recovery
YourMagnet_adult_version
Happy to hear that you are on your road to recovery! I hope you go this path steadfastly. I wish you to keep your spirit, be strong and confident! Everything will be just fine!
Gary King
Best wishes! Get well soon!
Jerry Crimmins
You are in my thoughts and prayers for a full and. speedy recovery.
Jeff Black
Sending all the good vibes your way. Long distance (gentle) hugs. ❤️
Caleb Roupe
I am glad to hear you are recovering. Get well soon.
Kim Rice
🖤🤗🖤
Andrew Connolly
Good to hear you are doing well Danielle sending you and all involved my heartfelt thoughts. Keep being you 😊
Greg Smith
Thank God you had a good surgical team. Infection is a terrifying thing . I had my aortic heart valve replaced 8 years ago and because of staph infections it had to be replaced two additional times in a two year period. The last time I very nearly didn't make it. Follow your doctors' instructions and you'll be back to doing the things you love soon enough. I'm hoping to get to meet you one day, so don't let me down. You said that your wedding ring fits again. In one of your posts earlier you said that you and Jeremy are going to get married next year. Did I miss something? Either way I'm very happy for you. Take care of yourself. Love ya sweetie.💕💖💘
Lonnie Drake
So glad to see on ur road to recovery. Take it one day at a time. And when you really hurt just one moment at a time. Cuz only you know ur body. Have a GREAT DAY.
