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MC meets Anna. 2.0
🕑 Added 2022-12-03 04:32:07 +0000 UTCHow about a peek into the conversation between MC and Anna when they first meet?
I would like to thank Michael Hawk and Corona for their time and attention in writing the feedback. I just made the changes. Hope you guys like it.
...
MC - I never thought it would be so difficult to find another room in this city. I can't imagine living in that place. I think I better go back to the dorm and beg Deb to let me stay there.
That's my bus!
While running to catch the bus MC comes across a beautiful woman on the street.
Look at X Don't Look at
>Look at<
MC hits his head on a pole and falls.
Anna - Hey, are you okay?
When he opened his eyes he got startled to see a blue face very close to his.
MC - Ouch , I think the beat was strong this time. I'm seeing everything blue.
Anna- Blue? Oh, you mean my makeup? You can rest assured, this work of art was made by me. At least that's not a symptom of the knock you just took.
How many fingers can you see?
Mc- Two?
Anna- Sure thing.
Wait, did you say "this time"? Is this the second time you get your head hit today?
MC- It wasn't my fault but... yeah.
Anna- Lucky one.
Come here, I'll give you a hand.
Would you like some water? I was saving this water for myself, but I think you'll put it to good use.
MC- Thanks for the help Miss… viking?
Anna- VIKING, you too!? I am an elf warrior! Why can't anyone see the EARS? Look!
MC- Of cooourse elf warrior. I don't know why I said that.
This explains the face painting, but what about the axe?
Anna- The spears were sold out...
MC- I hate when that happens.
Anna- ha ha ha, If you keep mocking me I'll break you in two, human.
MC - Easy, easy... elf warrior. I take it that's not your real name, am I right?
Anna- Would be cool but no. My name is Anna, and yours?
MC- MC.
Just tell me one thing. What is the reason for the costume? I saw another person just a little while ago dressed as a power ranger. Isn't it too early for halloween?
Anna- This is not a costume, it's a cosplay. And this is not for halloween, you funny boy.
There's a game convention going on nearby, which is where I'm going.
What about you? What brings you here today? Came just to kiss poles? Haha
MC- Look who's the funny one now.
Anna- You started it!
MC- Guilty. Sooo, I'm looking for a room to rent, But I still couldn't find one. Apparently the only places with a vacancy cost an arm and a leg.
Anna- A room… Wait!
There's a room for rent in my building, it became vacant this week, maybe it's still available.
MC- Really? I would like to check it out. Could you give me the address?
Anna- This is the place... Now I think it's better to run because I heard that someone else is interested.
MC- Thank you! I will go there now.
Anna- Good luck human and be careful.. There are many poles in this city. (laughs)
MC- ha ha ha…
Anna- Bye!
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I would like to know your opinion about the dialogue. Suggestions and constructive criticism are always welcome!
Comments
By saying, "Ouch, I think the beat was strong this time. I'm seeing everything blue." I think you mean this in English. "Ouch, I think I hit my head hard this time. Am see everything in blue."
Fixed. Thanks!
"I never thought it would be so difficult to find another room in this city?" What you're saying here is a statement, not asking a question. You still have problems with this script.
