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February 2025 Newsletter
🕑 Added 2025-02-03 21:43:20 +0000 UTCWinter appears as a time of concealment. In spring, life bursts forth in front of our eyes in many magnificent colors, as trees leave and flowers bloom, and people leave their shelters for the sunshine. What revelations does winter offer? In the cold snap that has lasted the past two weeks, I have sat in the cold, wondering this. After some days, I started noticing a few things. First, it reveals breath. As a kid, I always enjoyed that “fake cigarette” that comes with stepping outside on a cold day. Every exhale is a bit more exciting, seeing its unique shape emerge in a jet of white, gone in an instant into the sky.
In those streaks of white, something else can be detected - the fragility of life. Our breath, our life force, is constantly escaping us. The difference of a few degrees can throw off our whole mode of existence, push the limits of our endurance. In a constant onslaught of cold air on skin, daily life can be almost intolerable. Cold air, a novel luxury in the summer months, looms like death itself when there is no escape back into the heat. It reveals how much we need each other, how much we need in general, in order to sustain our lives. It’s a humbling realization.
It’s interesting that we start our year on such a note, far away from the advent of spring. The early Romans saw this span of the year as so featureless that they gave it no months, leaving it an undefined void reaching to the new year’s proper beginning in March. In the past, I’ve always perceived it as those Romans did, as a bleak void after the brief, bright joy of the winter holidays. Yet I think beginning the year here speaks to a deeper truth - that the color and vibrancy of the world does not emerge effortlessly, instantaneously; it is something planted in a blank wilderness, which grows slowly in the soil of patience and faith. Life doesn’t begin when it is seen; it begins when it is believed in. We must breathe for some time before it becomes visible.
Comments
ava
thank u for this, i recieved a twin fantasy mirror to mirrror vinyl today and my record quality made it sound like you were trapped in a box, so thank you
Bliv
More newsletters like this please
Kenny Rohan
For many years, the stretch of the year after the holidays and before spring marked the height of my own emptiness and dejection. Often, it was marked with returning to the same cycle of school or work that I have been graciously awarded several weeks of time off from. It was, to me, as if the real void came not from AFTER the holidays, but rather DURING the holidays, as I escape to another seemingly-timeless dimension with friends and family all taking off and celebrating together. As we all return to the same-old, rather lonely cycle of work, however, I find myself hit with the realization that my escapism is over, and the coldness of reality hits even more when I’ve been so conditioned by the warmth of the holidays and its cheer. I was in a void during the holidays, and I only really realize that after I leave the void, back to reality. That’s where the real dread of the void hits me. All the things I haven’t done the past year haunt me, and the chasm of the year ahead and its unknown opportunities looms in front of me. It’s an inescapable cycle; it’s like a little death every year. I’ve come to realize this is important to go through. I think about the Death tarot card which—like what you mentioned with what the early Romans did with the featureless span of time—was sometimes referred to as “The Card with No Name.” This card, at first glance, seems ominous, but many interpretations say it is one of the most positive of all the tarot. It is the end of things, and it is the beginning of things. It is change itself. It is also marked with an increased sense of self-awareness. This is a time of reflection and adjustment to change, and all the pains associated with it are important to go through in order to grow. I’ve been learning not to push against this feeling. It will go away in time. It always does. There’s little I can do about it in the moment because it takes something external to bring me out of it. To shine a light on my seed, and make me sprout up from the rut I’m stuck in. This year, that light was an intimate show that a friend asked me to open for. It was on the 18th of January in a college music classroom, and it went super well despite being forced to work and push through my own early-year melancholy. This got me on my feet again after a particularly difficult rut. I haven’t looked back since. I am really grateful to my friend for that, and I’m really grateful that you keep writing these newsletters and gratitude essays. I read all of them, and each one resonates with me so strongly. You put to words ideas that I am so often already ruminating on, and I have always found a deep synchronicity between your artistic musings and the strange fixations in my head. Take care. (…Also, I, too, love the “fake cigarette” breath and still do it! I was just talking to my friends a few days ago about it… All the coolness of smoking, but none of the carcinogens! A seasonal treat!)
very.happy.ben
this helped remove some of the fog from my brain, thank you
Cooper
It's interesting that winter can be viewed both as a desolate void and the beginning of life. I know for me personally, I've been both charmed by the quiet, tranquil environments the winter brings, yet also chilled to the bone with how cold it's been. But I also think the feeling I get walking into a warm home after a day in the cold is hard to replicate.
Sageisafruit
I love how you write it’s so wonderful
Luixo :D
Thank you for sharing such a thoughtful reflection. I really appreciate how you’ve captured winter’s quiet lessons—how it strips things down to their essentials, revealing both our vulnerabilities and the invisible beginnings of growth. Your insight about life starting not when it’s seen but when it’s believed in is beautiful and resonant, especially in times that feel barren or still.
Luka Buchanan
always a fan of the natural allegories :-) keep warm!! time to preserve, to prune, rest, wait… in no time, the tiny buds of spring will emerge!
Denisa Astanei
through your writing there's this great sense of peacefulness I find as of late, maybe it's a sign of growing older? I don't know, but you inspire me very much in all you do. so thank you and I hope you'll have an awesome year
Sam Bradley
This time of year is incredibly clear though. The stars have been out a lot recently, the other night after it snowed I went down with friends to the puget sound. It was freezing and ethereal, and perfectly quiet. The moon was clear, and the stars, and the lights in the harbor. We danced around a bit in the dark before the cold started biting. The void is peaceful.
Hannah
There are a lot of plants (bulbs etc.) that need the winter to rest before they can bloom in the spring
Carmen✨
This was so beautiful, my favorite newsletter yet!! I was born/raised in Southern CA and now live in Chicago so winter has become such a different experience to me having gone from living somewhere thats relatively mild all year to actually having to face brutal winters. January is also weird because my entire family celebrates our birthdays between December and February (my own is the end of January). This past month my dad turned 73 and I turned 28 and I was thinking more about death than anything else. it was freezing but very sunny on my birthday which to me made me feel a lot more hopeful! Like the sun is always there even if you can’t see it sometimes behind all the clouds (which themselves have their own importnacr and beauty) Reminds me of what faith is like , you have to believe that there’s good even if you can’t always see it. This was such a lovely reflection thanks Will and happy February! 🩵 (Also will there be a Bible series this year? )
Axo
I absolutely love these newsletters, been a huge help to get back into reading with. Sunsets are longest during the winter. I like to think that even if people can’t see much during the winter season the sky always has something to offer :)
spencer
So glad that the day I got back on here was the day that a newsletter was released!
Sadie Lochner
This is beautifully written, like a poem. Need to see if all newsletters here are like this
