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[BONUS] Coming Home (Skyrim/GoT)

🕑 Added 2017-09-10 08:01:02 +0000 UTC

Comments

Cambrian

Appreciate the critique, I'm going to answer you in PMs to avoid clogging up this comment section too much!

Gamestalker85

I hope you continue this as I would love to read about him using the voice to 'fus ro da' some white walkers. Also could be fun for him to bed as many noble ladies as he can whilst everyone else is powerless to stop him. ;)

CC100

I am handicapped by the fact I don't know anything about Skyrim but it seems that your story has a few issues. First, it would seem quite stunning to me that a vassal of the Starks would try to kill somebody who appeared in the hall. This Aegon wasn't belligerent, was not wielding any weapon, and yet Robbett Glover tries to kill him? Wouldn't that be incredibly offensive to Jon Snow. Somebody appears, doesn't appear to be threatening, and gets killed in front of you. I know Glover is an idiot in the books and the show, but is he really that moronic? it seems very out of character, given that vassals give a lot of sway to their king. Second, the word on the blanket reads Aegon?? Really - they stenciled their names on their one year old blankets? That doesn't make sense. And if it was that easy, Aegon himself couldn't read it with a spell. After all, he seems far more intelligent than Glover. If there is some clever and non obvious way, the blanket indicates Aegon, you have to tell us. Not believable that this is realized by a lord instantly. Third, the notion that Sansa Stark immediately falls in love with Aegon. That sounds a bit overwrought. Sansa has been through terrible things (she is not a lovestruck kid anymore, also she is a powerful lady - they don't fall in love at a blink of an eye.) Unless Aegon is a male veela, I find that hard to swallow. Yes, I am sure the Targareyeans are good looking, but instant love is a bit much in GOT. Finallly, less of a nitpick than a question. If Jon is not Aegon, who are his parents. If he is not Lyanna's child, who gave birth to him?


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