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Breaking Providence Ch. 11 (Original)

🕑 Added 2022-11-17 00:00:04 +0000 UTC

Comments

Cambrian

Heh, this happens a little bit in Chapter 12 at least xD tho yeah its after the hanky panky so Marcus isn't quite as insensate as he could be

tornadoboy

I think they are a bit smutty, but TBF its why we're all here. FWIW I thought reversing the order might have been fun. First she unrobes, then goes on a bit of an explanation about what she thinks and why he's destined to save them all, and only then pledges herself. But mostly because I find the imagery of her naked and trying to explain and Marcus half insensate because now he's got two naked chicks before him hilarious

Cambrian

Heh, what I'll say is this. I am currently writing this story under the assumption that there are no deities. No Gods or Goddesses whatsoever exist in this setting atm. Might change my mind later and add them in but right now I'm writing as though they don't exist. The Church doesn't worship a deity for instance, they merely seek to embody the Holy Light and the principles of their forefathers. Make of that what you will~

Deranged Degenerate

Great chapter, but let me ask you this. Is 'fate' an entity in this universe, kind of like in Jojo where stand users are destined to meet other stand users. Marcus having his parents being the Destined Hero and Dark Lord, being a half-Orc who resembles a human, being the chosen Dark Lord but identifies as the Destined Hero, Erised's mother knowing Gral-Ra personally and being Marcus' caretaker, Marcus being identified at the same church where Angelina who has a rape fetish for Orc's is stationed at, and the Holy-not Roman-Empire being in a state of decline where the first ever Destined Hero/Dark Lord has come into existence. It's almost like some divine intervention has come into play in establishing a new era of humanity. This could just be you wanting things more convenient to make the smut more streamlined, but it could be some narrative in the world plots that might be revealed later when Marcus meets the Goddess that oversees the world (this is you we're talking about, he'll fuck a goddess or two). I'd like to hear your thoughts.

Cambrian

fufufufu, if it is, I will MAKE it legal :P

Cambrian

Happy to hear this!

Cambrian

Heh, glad you're enjoying it enough to be hungry for more! And glad that I'm succeeding with an original property like that, your praise means a lot!

Zarroc789

You got me all curious about chapter 13 now. Uhhhh... a cliffhanger in an author's note. That should be illegal

RanmaChaos

Fantastic chapter. Loving all the characters so far.

Cmndprmpt

Ngl, I want just slightly longer chapters. Not complaining about what I'm getting. I'm just greedy and hungry for more. That aside, I'm enjoying this kind of story a lot more than I thought I would. The original story, that us. You have great talent and I'm glad I get to witness it in one of its purest forms.

Cambrian

Yeah some people have all the luck :P

SpectralTime

In fairness, it is part of her charm. And hey, if you’re passionate about your job you’ll never work a day in your life, am I right? (I don’t think I am right actually, but then again my job is not being railed by a member of the opposite sex that I am attracted to both physically and emotionally.)

Cambrian

There was a teensy bit of foreshadowing, in that back in the Chapel at Marcus' Awakening, the reason Angelina had him kneel was because she was too turned on by him towering over her to actually perform the ritual hah. That combined with her showing up as a willing member of his party was supposed to foreshadow her true nature, but if that didn't come across I suppose that's on me heh

Juan

So first things first, a huge titty blonde slave nun is hot as fuck as expected. Especially since she is already an inch of from declaring Marcus her lord and master and he hasn't even slept with her yet. Now for story thoughts. It's a bit convient, possibly a little too convient, through I wouldn't go far as to say its a plot hole. Angelina basically had Marcus in a position to put him dead to rights and a huge part of that is the fact she has a specific fetish. Not the only part thankfully, but important enough that her decision changes if she doesn't have it. If she was a girl like Darkness looking for a abusive relationship then she would have went with the Bishop and probably not assigned to Marcus. If she doesn't have it at all then there goes a huge part of her attraction. Maybe there should have been some more foreshadowing of such a thing because a big part of the story now rests on something that is possible, but not necessarily even probable to continue on as is.

Cambrian

Glad you enjoyed it, and me too! xD

Cambrian

Glad to hear that, heh

Cambrian

For the horny, all things are possible

Cambrian

Angelina has no chill, tis true lol

Jack Reaver

The conclusion I draw as to the really reason she didn't snitch on them is that she is down horrendously for Marcus. Seems like her and the demon also have more in common than we knew, especially in their kinks, but it might be fun to see them both vie for his attention. Great chapter, cant wait until Friday

DJ Johnson

I enjoy the other POVs so far. Normally they irritate me but here it's refreshing especially since they are harem members lol.

Kaijucifer

Nothing jarring about this, though I was surprised she so easily accepted things, though i also understand her able to look past it if it made getting d*cked down by a her beloved orcish future mate and fulfilling her number one desire a reality. Makes it a much easier pill to swallow.

SpectralTime

…I mean, it escalated quickly? But at the same time, I appreciate that she has some compassion even for the demon girl. Also, if you like someone as a person *and* desire them physically, that’s just how normal relationships go so don’t worry about it girl.


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