Cambrian
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Lightning Strikes Twice Ch. 12 (Harry Potter)
🕑 Added 2023-06-07 14:41:07 +0000 UTCA/N: In which Harry tries to get on Rita Skeeter's good side. Really, he does.
-x-X-x-
“Harry James Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived and the mysterious Fourth Triwizard Champion! Let’s start the Champions’ Interviews with you, shall we? Come, come!”
As she reaches him, a sickeningly sweet smile on her face that poorly hides her true venom as she grabs hold of his wrist and begins tugging him towards a familiar broom closet. There are moments in Harry’s life that he remembers with startling clarity. Moments that he could never forget, not in a million years. This, his first meeting with the deplorable Rita Skeeter, was definitely one of them.
And yet, Harry lets her pull him in, glancing around the room to see everyone looking pitying but also grateful that they’re not having to deal with Rita first. Even though he’s very much stealing their spotlight, they can automatically tell what sort of vulture Rita Skeeter is, and it keeps them from being even the slightest bit jealous of him.
The door to the broom closet is flung open and then a moment later slams shut with them inside.
“Lumos!”
Rita casts a quick light charm from her wand, letting it float above their heads to give them some ability to see as she happily sits across from him on a small box, her approximation of a pleasant smile on her lips.
“Well now, Harry… I can call you Harry, can’t I? Oh, you might not know who I am, though I’m sure you’ve heard my name before. I’m Rita Skeeter, with the Daily Prophet. Let’s talk about the Triwizard Tournament and your place in it, shall we? Oh and don’t mind the quill, it’s just to help with notetaking.”
Harry watches as Rita’s signature Quick-Quotes Quill flits into the air in front of him, a floating notepad right along with it. The quill almost seems to look at him for a moment… before jotting things down despite the fact that he hasn’t even spoken yet. No doubt to due with his appearance, general demeanor, and current attitude in the tense atmosphere.
The first time he’d been in this closet, Harry had been completely caught off guard. Rita had played him like a fool, but then to be fair he was nothing but a boy back then. He never should have been left alone with the bitch in the first place. In fact, Harry would go so far as to say that in a perfect world, someone like Rita Skeeter wouldn’t even exist. Or at the very least, her particular brand of ‘journalism’ would not be so highly sought after or coveted.
The fact that she had readers still baffled Harry to this day. Fuck, even the likes of Molly Weasley was inclined to get taken in by Rita’s sensationalist articles. That all said, this wasn’t a perfect world. Not by a long shot. Harry knew just how dark this world was, and he also knew that there were worse evils in it then Rita Skeeter… though it was still close.
With that in mind, he offers Rita his best smile and nod.
“I know who you are, Ms. Skeeter. I’ve read quite a few of your articles. Oh, and that biography on Headmaster Dippet. Master or Moron, wasn’t it?”
He was pretty sure he was right about that, though admittedly he hadn’t actually read ‘Armando Dippet: Master or Moron?’. Nor had he read The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore. Or his own biography. Or Snape’s, for that matter. He’d heard enough about all of those books to know they were more of Rita’s usual fare… that is, tasteless garbage that the unwashed masses still insisted on gobbling up all the same.
In the end, Snape’s biography was the last book Rita had ever written. The apocalypse had put a stop to her particular brand of insanity. Too bad it had also put a stop to everything else, in the end.
Rita’s eyes widen in surprise as she looks taken aback… and downright flattered for a moment.
“Oh… oh my! Well now, I didn’t expect the Boy-Who-Lived to be a fan!”
Scratch-scratch-scratch! Harry’s eyes dart to the Quick-Quotes Quill before moving back to Rita, who he gives another smile.
“Oh, but of course. You’re out there on the frontlines, Ms. Skeeter. Trying to separate fact from… fiction. That said… do you think we could be candid with one another? There are certain things going on at Hogwarts, both this year and in my last few… that I would love to tell you about. But… I would hope you would be understanding of the sensitive nature of some of what I have to say.”
If he could turn Rita into his own personal attack dog, and without revealing that he knew about her animagus form, then maybe she could be useful to him. He would certainly prefer it if she could be turned into a weapon against his enemies, but he was very aware of her poisonous nature.
For a long moment, Rita is quiet as she takes in his words. There’s a calculating glint in her eye, before finally she offers him a grin.
“I’m impressed, Mr. Potter. You certainly know how to intrigue a woman, don’t you? Please… do go on.”
Scritch-scratch-scritch. Except, even as she leans forward, which just so happens to give him a view down the front of her top if he chose to go for it… the Quick-Quotes Quill is still going strong. She doesn’t bother to put it away, and sure Harry hadn’t directly asked her to, but it felt like it was implied. Pushing out with his magic, he heightens his awareness to get an idea of what the quill is currently writing about him.
… It’s all the same. Not quite the same from the original outline, none of the tragic boy-who-cries bullshit, but it’s still sensationalist garbage. And sure, Rita might not use it right this moment if Harry gave her a juicer bone to chew on… but she would use it one day, wouldn’t she? For her biography of him if nothing else.
In that moment, Harry decides he can’t do this. He can’t manage Rita as an attack dog without a proper collar and leash. The bitch is liable to go off and bite someone important if he doesn’t have her under proper control. It irritates him… but then, everything about Rita Skeeter is irritating, isn’t it? She knows it too, and she’s weaponized that, turning it into her whole brand.
With a sigh, Harry drops the act. He drops the smile and flicks his hand out, calling upon some wandless magic to capture the Quick-Quotes Quill and its notepad in an invisible grasp. Then, he squeezes.
Rita’s eyes widen as her trusty quill gives a little shriek before bursting. The magic contains the ink in a small bubble instead of letting it spill everywhere. He’s certainly tempted to let it spray all over Rita’s face, but instead he just has it spill all over her notepad, ruining the entire thing and destroying what notes she’s already taken.
As the blonde reporter stares in disbelief, Harry tilts his head to the side.
“You know, Rita… I’ve never had much issue with most types of bugs.”
The emphasis he puts on the word ‘bugs’ forces her gaze to snap towards him. She stares at him wordlessly, incredulity beginning to spread across her face. Behind that incredulity is poorly concealed glee as she no doubt suspects she can still turn this into a spectacular article, even without her Quick-Quotes Quill’s notes. Obviously, Harry isn’t about to let that happen.
“Beetles in particular are a bug that seems fairly harmless. One that I’m perfectly willing to let live. Until they decide to make themselves a nuisance, of course. A beetle who doesn’t know how to stay out of my way? Well, that’s a beetle not long for this world, isn’t it?”
Now Rita has gone absolutely still. Any poorly concealed glee has vanished, replaced by the blonde reporter staring at Harry in abject shock and disbelief. He just smiles at her. Smiles and nods.
“It’s not as though I’m the beetle’s enemy or anything. But I like my immediate surroundings to feel… clean. And if I caught a beetle crawling around where it shouldn’t… I might be willing to let it go the first time. Not the second though. There would be no third.”
There’s no doubt that he knows at this point. Harry can see the question in Rita’s eyes though, so he just smiles and nods, giving her the confirmation she seeks. Honestly, there’s no denying how good it feels to have her tense up in response. Rita is scum. Maybe not Death Eater scum, but she’s adjacent, certainly. The only reason Rita Skeeter didn’t sign on with Voldemort during his Second Rise in the original timeline was because he and his Death Eaters wouldn’t have let her get away with writing shit about them.
Rita lived and breathed on Freedom of the Press, something that didn’t exist in a world where the Dark Lord won. Though at the same time, she was also a living and breathing example against Freedom of the Press, Harry couldn’t help wryly thinking. Even still…
“… What do you want?”
Rita’s quiet defeated tone is music to his ears. Not that Harry thinks for even a second that he’s actually managed to cow her. This is also an act… something that she’s putting on until she can get the upper hand again. Oh sure, he could take a page out of Hermione’s book and blackmail Rita with the knowledge of her Animagus Form. He could even get a few decent articles out of her, ones that would help him build up a proper reputation among the Wizarding World’s unwashed masses.
But Hermione’s blackmail hadn’t lasted forever in the original timeline. It hadn’t stopped Rita from being Rita. No… Harry needed a more permanent solution. He needed to bind her to him, to use his ritual to make her his as he had Bella and Aurora before her.
The only problem was it needed to be willing. Rita needed to be willing. Without consent, the ritual wouldn’t work. And so… Harry needed to convince her to sign on with him. He needed to convince her that submitting herself to him was actually in her best interests.
“What do I want, Rita? I want to coexist with the beetle, of course. But that’s long term. In the short term… I want you to come see me on the left corridor of the seventh floor, at the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy attempting to teach trolls ballet, later tonight. Can you do that for me? Do you know which tapestry I’m talking about?”
Looking positively hunted, Rita clutches at her skirt for a brief moment before nodding.
“I know it. But… I might not be allowed on the campus later this evening. I have yet to manage to secure long term lodgings at Hogwarts for the duration of the Tournament, even though I put in a request.”
Harry just smiles at that. Really? What did Rita expect from telling him that? For him to tell her he’d put in a good word for her with Dumbledore? For him to let her off the hook? Either way, Harry shakes his head and chuckles.
“… I think we both know that won’t be a problem for you, Rita. You’ll be there tonight. I don’t think something as pedestrian as permission is going to stop you, is it?”
Rita doesn’t get a chance to answer him before the door is thrown open and they’re interrupted by a panicky-looking Ludo Bagman.
“T-Time for the Wand Weighing Ceremony! No more questions, no more questions!”
Harry lets himself be ushered out of the broom closet, and so does Rita. Leaving behind an utterly busted up and mangled Quick-Quotes Quill and a notepad entirely soaked through with ink.
-x-X-x-
The rest of the Wand Weighing Ceremony goes pretty much as Harry remembers it. Ollivander looks over each of their wands, makes his comments, and certifies that they’re all in tip top shape and working just fine. With that, the ceremony comes to a close after a few pictures, with a much more subdued Rita Skeeter doing her level best to get out of there as soon as possible.
Harry watched her go in amusement, not overly concerned that she would try to pull a runner. He hadn’t done anything to her directly quite yet… no, that would be for later that evening.
Of course, before he knew it, he found himself waiting in front of the hidden entrance to the Room of Requirement, standing across from Barnabas’ tapestry and waiting to see if Rita would actually show up or not. They both knew he had her by the throat, but there was always a possibility that she wouldn’t come, that she might talk herself out of it or something.
… But no, after only a few minutes of waiting, Harry catches sight of a distinctive beetle lazily flying down the corridor. He watches as Rita Skeeter in her animagus form lands in front of Barnabas’ tapestry… and then carefully looks around. Only then does Harry reveal himself, staring right down at her with a smile.
“Hello Rita.”
The beetle does the equivalent of jumping out of its carapace, before freezing in place for a moment. Then, slowly, she transforms back into her human self, becoming Rita Skeeter once more. The blonde witch looks concerned for a moment, glancing about with a frown.
“… Alright, Harry. I’m here. What do you want from me?”
Rather than answer her immediately, Harry begins to stroll.
“Let’s walk and talk.”
Rita blinks owlishly, before hurrying after him… only to watch in confusion as he turns around at the end of the corridor and begins walking back.
“Wha- what are you doing?! What is this, exactly?”
“This, Rita… is opportunity. Yes, I know about your illegal animagus form. Yes, I’m more than willing to go to the Ministry and get you arrested if you piss me off.”
Rita stiffens, even as she continues following him up and down the corridor. But even with the threat laid bare, she latches onto the first bit.
“Opportunity?”
Coming to a stop across from Barnabas’ tapestry, Harry smiles… and reaches back, opening the door that hadn’t been there mere moments before.
“Please, Ms. Skeeter. Step into my office.”
Rita narrows her eyes and follows him in, the door shutting behind them as she finds herself in a cozy-looking study. Her eyes dart around in confusion, making it clear that the reporter had never uncovered this particular Hogwarts Secret when she’d been a student here. Harry, for his part, wastes no time.
“Let’s set aside our first arrangement, shall we? You don’t write your sensationalist drivel about me or put any words in my mouth, and I won’t reveal your nature as an Animagus to the Ministry of Magic. That’s our first deal and it’s locked in stone, alright?”
Rita hesitates… but slowly nods, knowing he has her across a barrel on that bit.
“Wonderful. Time for another deal then. I’ve got plenty of information for you, Rita. I’ve got all of the information you could ever want to write a dozen stories that would gain you all the notoriety you could ever desire… all without having to assassinate my character in the Daily Prophet.”
There’s a brief pause, and then the suddenly hungry-looking reporter leans forward.
“… And what do you want for those stories, Mister Potter?”
Harry just smiles, knowing he very much has her attention.
“I want you, Rita. I’m a growing young lad, aren’t I? And you’re a beautiful woman. It’s really quite simple. I want to have sex with you in exchange for what I know.”
Rita’s eyes widen at that, damn near bulging out of her head. It’s clear she didn’t expect that from him, not in a million years. But then to be fair, Harry hasn’t exactly given off the horndog vibe until now, has he? He didn’t even look down her shirt when she all but flashed him in the broom closet earlier.
And truth be told… Harry DOES have ulterior motives here. But Rita doesn’t need to know that.
In the end, it’s time to find out exactly where Rita’s limits lie. Time to see just how dirty she’s willing to get for a good story…
Comments
Osiris Sundavr
This is a wonderful idea.
DualEquinox
Also, do you know what would be a fun twist? If a heap of the children from the Cursed Child era reached a truce with Delphini to prevent the same bad end that Harry is trying to stop via that fuck stupid super time-turner (which doesn't work anymore due to how the breakdown of magic from that time period affected it). You could have Delphini and whatever you call her organization she formed with the various children ("the Augurey's Cry seems decent as said cry was once rumored to foretell death) be a vehicle to salvage the various waifu from that god-awful play while discarding the rest. Plus it is about the only way you could fit an incest angle short of somehow bringing back Lily Potter (which isn't such an outlandish possibility if you rule her soul is bound in and is what charges/powers the Sacrificial Protections) and I know how Cambrian likes to hit as many kinks/fetishes as he can in these longer Patreon fics.
DualEquinox
Something that has been floating around the back of my head for the last few chapters but isn't related to this one: Do you reckon Bella's Retooled Ritual could be used on the soul fragment present in a Horcrux without compromising any other magic that the object/host may possess? Cause if so then Harry gaining some pretty powerful Magical Artefacts intact as well as an associated Power Boost from draining a few of Voldemort's Horcruxes pretty easily once Bella finishes her research. I mean with the Diary already destroyed you have the Diadem is in the Room of Requirement, Harry knows the Locket is at Grimauld Place, the Ring is also pretty accessible, Bella can grab the Goblet very easily (and sign over all the Lestrange assets to Harry while she's at it), Harry probably still has one in his forehead. Finally, Nagini if you break the Blood Malediction, can probably instead be bound over being drained so you have access to all of Voldemort's knowledge up until the start of this year when it was made via that soul fragment.
DualEquinox
Tbh I think the opposite. Rita knows all too well how one scandal can ruin a person, do you really think she would let herself be at the center of such a scandal? A reporter who fucked/"took advantage" of an underage celebrity after illegally entering Hogwarts ground as an unregistered animagus to gain the leverage needed for a spurious story isn't the kind of thing she can leverage in public perception. The fact she got herself pregnant from that only makes it worse and if it came out that is almost certainly how Harry will spin it. Rita lives or dies by public perception and Harry most certainly can turn that against her by playing the victim here. She has enough enemies that such a spin would almost certainly gain traction. Who would believe the word of a sexual predator after all?
DualEquinox
Wouldn't it be ironic if Rita had a Blackmail/Coercion Kink and that is why she is always gathering dirt on others? Maybe she even keeps dirt on other females in return for sexual favors and only publishes the "lesser" secrets (aka those she can't gain sexual favors from)?
Xi
Imagine if Rita’s resistance is all beaten by the most vanilla of things like hand-holding or post-sex snuggling or a kiss on the head before going to sleep; and it all stems from when she was super unpopular as a student and repressed a large amount of envy and jealousy for others who were able and willing to do that for each other around her and that’s why she is the way she is now.
Dr.Scribe
the only chance she wouldn't get used like this would have had to come from another character. Rita is too willing to go low to get dirt(y). I wonder what kink will be explored? or if she is canon pure, half, or muggle born...could be interesting
Keeper
Also if there’s any witch that would try to make sure she gets pregnant to use the baby for something later, it’s Rita.
Hadrian v.E.
Hell yeah!
Keeper
Well, time for Rita to try to hold an interview while riding
daniel riggle
Yeah she will think a little shag won't hurt, she'll get some good dirt, and then when she feels it's time it's mud time for Harry.
Hadrian512
Lol, this vote was a foregone conclusion.
