Maxi
fanbox
まだショックから立ち直れていないです
🕑 Added 2021-03-07 10:37:16 +0000 UTCI am not good with the poker face desu.
people always can tell what I have been thinking just looking at my face desu
my grandmother told me that [you make the same face like you first come here] desu.
I did not see the doctor yet but I think it not a fever desu.
with all that happen lately, it makes sense that I got stressed desu.
or it more like trauma desu.
there is some part of the story that I do not plan to tell anyone on the public desu.
even Stanel-san does not know about it desu.
because it too much pain that why I delete it desu.
RPG project is not my first agenda desu.
my first agenda kill me desu.
my first agenda is life for my lover desu.
maybe that why I jealous of people who can live with love,
maybe that why I turn into an NTR lover desu.
[but rape content is have nothing to do with this ne]
because I know what it likes to be crazy for love desu.
it more powerful than anythings desu.
and I already know that I would never return to that state again desu.
that why I give up on life and plan to end my life desu.
all that happens while I am at the college desu.
that also the reason why I want to try to find a new purpose in life desu.
and that when I realize drawing and storytelling skill is always with me desu.
that when I plan to be Manga writer desu.
but the professor is the one who teaches me about freedom
and awakens me to accept my true desire desu.
Pixiv reqeust give me a hope desu.
and when they took that hope away it just shocks me desu.
I do not plan to depend on donations
but it different story If you put your hope on its success desu.
when the first donation is complete that means it will give a credit to the next donation and if this donation occurs more than 3 times that why I am feeling down desu.
I refuse to accept that I still shock about that desu.
that why pretending to be not hurt by it
and keep working like nothing is too hard for me desu.
I know now why I feel sleepy and tried so easy
because I still shock desu.
I really do not know what to do desu.
I understand now that it not Pixiv fault desu.
I just want to blame it on something desu.
it's my fault to not think it more cleary desu.
at a time like this, I want to be strong like my lazy brother desu.
how that guy always has to poker face and not feel down at anythings ne.
in short,
that why right now I not in the good mood
and not in the right condition to work or make any big decisions desu.
reading a book a novel and learn a language, it feels better desu.
just, I not in the condition to developed CG or think about RPG project desu.
for people who not happy about this please inbox me ne.
I really sorry about this desu.
Comments
Maxi
news update desu. Nemu-san works already complete desu. fuuuuu this really takes a lot of time desu. and feel sleepy desu. after done with the credit, I will put it on the next post as soon as possible desu. but for now, I need to go to bed ne.
Maxi
news update desu. I already heal but not fully heal desu. still feel sleepy feel like losing a lot of motivation on CG-developed desu. I will go back to do the full CG for a while desu. doing color full CG makes me feel better than do the proper training desu. I will announce this again later desu.
Maxi
I see, I just carry too much desu. after saying it out make me feel a lot better now desu. will be back to work now desu.
Maxi
just right now want to stop carrying the plan and sleep desu.
Maxi
I want to return to work as soon as I can desu. I do not know how long it takes yet desu.
