Maxi
fanbox
『変わった』
🕑 Added 2022-03-15 17:38:55 +0000 UTCtoday I am a bit hurt and happy desu. can skip ne.
but If anyone wants to know more about me please take your time to read it desu.
it might be useful info in the long run desu.
----
the record from the personality test said someone like me is the type of person who can see people's true potential desu.
and I have no doubt because I always know that I can do it desu.
but until now I have only had success in how to lit the fire inside them desu.
all I can help them is give them a push desu.
until lately I just realize that maybe I am just a dreamer or a scammer who is good at moving people's hearts desu.
because my lazy brother failed desu.
because all my friends also failed desu.
because all my sisters also failed desu.
no one ever succeeds to prove my ability to be real desu.
my lover used to say that [you are always talking about the beautiful side]
[you are always making an excuse to make yourself look good]
she has been honest with me to the point that she become the mirror of mine desu.
thanks to her comment that makes me understand myself more desu.
everyone sees her like a cheap girl desu. someone even sexual-harassment her like funny things, if that time she has shown any sign of unwanted to be sexual-harassment I would go jump to hurt those guys with the intention to kill right away desu.
I do not blind desu. I know what type of girl is dangerous desu.
but I come to know more and more about her until I see far into her future desu.
and the one I fall in love with is the one is in the future desu.
I also realize that I am the stupid one who thinks she ok with being called cheap girl desu.
no one love to be called cheap girl desu.
more than anything she is just some high school student desu.
and the reason that we are broke up is also that I made a big mistake everything about her desu.
I only see her from the picture desu. no more fancy makeup no more risky dress up and more than anything she found the guy that looks so reliable desu.
I never see her picture and almost forgot all about her desu.
but when I see it,
this is the face of the person that I fall in love with from the start desu.
that is why we never succeed at communicating desu.
because I fall in love with the person that lives inside her that has not yet been born until today desu.[I mean her future self, not her child ne]
this is the first time that I see her picture and see how she grew up so much desu.
she must be really happy and understand everything now desu.
I am sure she must understand about all my words at that time now desu.
----
but that is just all about my normal life that already dies desu.
I already have no empty room for that kind of feeling anymore desu.
I mean I am already not blind enough to fight for Gender equality desu.
somehow I feel freer than I am with her desu.
my instinct never lies desu.
it always Hentai from the start desu.
all mistakes just are the lesson for making me realize it desu.
that I am not suited for the Happy ending with her desu.
because it will not explain the question of why I do not satisfied with the current Hentai culture why do I always study and focus on Hentai culture when I have Freetime when I lose everything and even when the time I want to stop but the only things that will always keep going on are my instinct toward Hentai culture desu.
the rage the hatred everything about it forced me to take this route desu.
I am a bit hurt but I am happier to know that she will forever be an important part of my story desu.
that's all it matters to me desu.
Too bad I already sky kick the person who sent me her picture instead of saying thank you to him desu.
but do not worry ne, from the record also mention something about when how people like me become when they give up on the happy ending route desu.
hai, we are going to create chaos and start the new Hentai era desu.
we will be recorded into the history of humanity as the bad guys desu.
at least we will be the group of people who have the best era of hentai world desu.
Comments
Maxi
but it alright desu. I never had good luck from the start desu. and survive the crash previous time might take all my good fortune power desu. it's alright desu. I will fight as hard as I can desu. this might be going to be our bad investment ever desu. If we failed we can just celebrate with our little community here at Pixiv for the rest of our life ne. at least I come here because I do not want to regret desu. anyone still has hope in the RPG project please consider this risk and join me ne.
Maxi
the prophecy from the personality test said that someone like me is going to create the history, but I forgot that there might be millions of someone like me that failed desu. because after this, things going to feel like it's getting too easy desu. and from my exp so far, everything feels easy because I overlook something desu. I think I need to find this person in order to reach the first step, not the completion of the building desu.
Maxi
I have a lot of plans to secure the supporter and gain a lot of money support but I will ruin it again desu. my instinct told me that we need to find the alliance desu. before I get drowned in my own mistakes again desu. I do not know what type of person that I going to become desu.
Maxi
I am not sure if you guys understand what I mean desu. because I also have some stupid agenda desu. [WHAT IF] desu. just these simple words that challenge me to go for a bigger shop desu. and just like you guys see desu. I start to realize that I am the worst options to lead this project desu. we need someone else desu. we need someone that has more leadership desu. I think I am better If I give them the direction desu. I think I am a navigator more like the captain of the ship desu.
Maxi
what I trying to say is, If I am a chef I am only happy with a small shop that opens in the alley desu. because the bigger the shop the more the responsibility you have to carry desu. I mean if I am just happy with cooking, why do I have to get a bigger shop desu.
Maxi
I need an alliance desu. I never think of trying to find anyone to walk alongside me in real-life before because I am the type of person who can carry other people desu. in short, I never trust anyone 100% desu. I make them believe that I believe in them 100% desu. but it's just 90% at best desu. 10% for backup plan desu. 10% that high enough to change the entire game if they betray me I can still be ok and enough to take them down desu. in short, I never truly trust people desu.
Maxi
what I trying to say is I just see myself in the future in the next 2-3 years desu. the payment for trying to fight the main steam desu. I failed on the RPG project before because I do not have power and was too overconfident and I am too naive desu. and I said that [the fight this time depends on everyone here] but it more like I will be the one who going to mess it up because of my personal bad habit desu.
Maxi
I always depend on my instinct desu. the instinct I talking about is it's more like the subconscious work desu. From time to time I feel like I know what is going to happen desu. just like the Deja vu work desu, it is just a simple mistake on our brain part combined with the knowledge and info we have got so far just like how it writes in the book desu. in short, when I have the best condition and full of happiness I can see the future desu. or more like the overconfident or the short-term objectivity desu.
Maxi
News update desu. look like the lighting part have more than I thought desu. about almost 90% now desu. look like next month I need to change the style again in order to give myself more excitement desu. but do not worry ne, all the style I have all good side of the part that I need to develop desu. and as you guys can see lately I lose a lot of supporters desu. 70 like unlock now is impossible desu. but do not worry ne. I already know the outcome desu. but after we got more supporters, we might be able to reach 70 like to unlock again soon desu. going to rest now desu.
Maxi
news update desu. current work about 80% now desu. a little more bg part and lighting and the color balance left desu. and the direction of Maxi Fanbox from now on will be 10 days service desu. and Nemu-san service will be 10 Days service desu. because I do not want to rise any more tax problems desu. If I have money problems I will find another way to gain it later desu. for now, I just want to focus on CG development and take time to clear all the Maxi Ver002 request and when all the request of the previous years is all clear I need to double the price in order to lower the work and then shutdown Maxi Ver002 request desu. because soon I might need to work on RPG game part desu. might have no time for the request ne. will announce about this again later desu.
Maxi
really hate tax desu. but I hate wasting time on the money more desu. I will pay the tax desu. 20-30% desu. that means If I got 100,000 yen I need to pay for Fanbox 15,000 yen to pay for the tax 20-30% of 85,000 yen = 25,000 yen desu. all I got left is 60,000 yen desu. thinks of it as some kind of payment for buying the time to work ne. going to rest a bit desu.
Maxi
today the bag almost crush inside the wheel desu. huhhhh this is really embarrassing and risky desu. I will be more careful next time desu.
Maxi
the board suggests keeping it desu. huh If I told them that I was no longer working then It would already cancel desu. but they also said it will be a good credit for buying the building and etc desu. so let's keep it ne. just need to pay the tax a bit desu. and I am also happy to have the front as Designer desu. feel like some kind of spy desu. [accually the hentai spy desu.]
Maxi
Suddenly but today I will go out to cancel the old commercial registration desu. Will go&return safely desu.
Maxi
News update desu. current work about 75% desu. today have a meeting about the food desu. I want more vegetables and fruit dishes for vitamin desu. I have invested more money on this from 70,000 yen per month to 90,000 yen per month desu. with this, we will have the fruits and more vitamins for all the dish desu. The only problem is we do not want to put too much work on cook-san desu. that is why we agreed to have my cousin go to buy more supplies outside sometime to fulfill this desu. If the cook-san learn some new dish we will just cancel it later desu. going to rest for today ne, feel really sleepy desu.
Maxi
going to rest a bit ne. feel so sleepy desu.
Maxi
News update desu. current work about 70% now desu. plan to reach 80% by today desu. but 2nd page has a lot of skin part desu. this might take longer than I thought desu.
Maxi
Can not sleep desu.but no power left to sitdown desu. Going to watch some netflix a bit ne.
Maxi
at least one person has confirmed my ability desu. this will be the hope for the team desu. I going to drag crew member potential out and use it for our RPG project desu. going to rest now desu.
