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V7: Chapter 9

🕑 Added 2024-04-21 03:58:33 +0000 UTC

Comments

Zarik0

Morgan had discovered a new target ! Celia you are over now !

Jordan Arnold

A highlight for me, is the perspective towards ruling (Leading) that Cecilia has / That has been shown. Previously, it felt like it was the Aristocratic / Noble Obligation that spurred her to keep trying. A sort of, "I'm more of a General / Noble...But shits fucked if I don't try and be a leader." With the scenes of her having Girlfailure moments / feeling insecure about Jack's ascendancy (In comarison to her own position), being in line for someone that is either very proud / duitful...Like above, what you'd expect of a Vampire / Noble that has lived a 'long' life being shown up by a young slave of common origins. But now, she sort of has a Cincinnati feel to her. Yes she's still a Guardian / Champion. With the right mind and power to lead and win battles (And to lead a nation / people should no better example / option be present). But now that its clear that Jack isn't an evil Tyrant, and that she has given her all to trying for her people. It sort of feels like she's accepted defeat and just wants a simple life / positon (Still leading armies / being a Champion...But without the pressure of being a ruler. As despite being undead Jack was giving her headaches.) (Farming? A person of your skills meme) Its a nice change I think. And ideally much like poor Orc Mosses / Deliver, and Khalia (The High Justicar) you can see where if there was more time and Jack was willing to see Diplomacy through. That all these factions would have been able to unite relatively peacfully. (Hell another work of fiction had them / their factions build it into their foundational myth. Cause just like with Jack offering up his life to threaten Harper / the Merchants. Setting up a similar situation where to borrow the lines directly "Upon this oath, swear your loyalty to me," he continues, with all the ominous ceremony the occasion deserves, "or with this blade, strike me down." To build up a lengend where those peoples and champions would be united. Making them think they had a choice and with their own peers swearing they too would.) On a different note, the weakness of this Chapter was Jack's monologue regarding the camps and point system. Its was very similar / identical to the one when the Academy had its shit rocked by the Scholars. Its nothing major. but perhaps something to spice up for editing when it comes to getting it made into its final evolution (Maybe with 'Taking what I'd learnt from my failures setting up the system / camps last time. I made sure to do X Y and Z.)


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