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My Weekly Gag Villain Job is Pretty Fulfilling: Chapter 19
🕑 Added 2025-12-25 19:28:59 +0000 UTCMy Weekly Gag Villain Job is Pretty Fulfilling: Chapter 19
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Commissioned by Arksoul
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Interlude: Adam
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The erasure of an entire island in but a few moments radicalized the world.
The scale of the attack was on par with a thermonuclear weapon.
Inroads into dictatorships trading with the Legion stalled immediately. After their new trading partner showcased immense strength, they were eager to continue their trade relations in hopes of gaining them as allies. Some were even wondering how much they would need to give to gain access to the potent weapon, as every dictator dreamed of having strategic deterrence as part of their arsenals.
The few countries in the world that were on the fence chose sides at the showcase of strength. Most joined with the coalition moving to defend against the Legion, with a focus on disrupting their ability to appear anywhere and launch a devastating attack. The few that decided to withdraw any support against the Legion showed interest in providing tribute in exchange for assurances, and they were small nations that could not afford to pay the cost in rare metals that the ritual would require.
Most notably, however, there was a focused increase in our budget along with the construction of numerous vehicles that will launch for the moon. While the station was still under repairs, while the individuals with the most potent powers trained, waves of reconnaissance drones were going to be sent to understand the nature of our enemy.
The first arrived on the moon, piercing the shadowy dome on its surface, and revealed a sprawling palace and fortress.
“Damn, that’ll be one hell of a thing to land on.” Thunderer remarked. “At least we won’t have to worry about moon dust.”
The entire surface was covered by a sheet of shadow. Ebony spires and walls shifted and moved like mazes. Titanic shadow creatures lumbered, and the path cleared for them, while they gathered shadow in their hands and formed towers and small fortresses. Flocks of shadow birds flew about, transforming into Imps as they landed, and they shaped shadows into spikes, moats, and more. Then they rose into the towers, melding with them, and I noted how they did not obstruct each other’s vision.
“They know the station will be protected against intrusion on its next pass. Those spires house Imps that will transform and fly at us like projectiles. If they miss, they’ll return and launch again.” Living projectiles composed of shadow used as guided missiles. Ones that can latch onto hulls and tear them apart and which can return to launch again if they miss. “This is a defensive installation designed to tear any landing force apart.”
“Any force barring the Guardians of Light.” Akimitsu stated demurely but with a calm certainty that drew many eyes her way. Clad in a white suit with a red tie, she was undoubtedly presentable for the occasion. “They will participate in the landing and clear a path. However, for them to reach that palace, they will need assistance. The Legion has been provided more supplies than they expected.”
I grimaced at those words, especially as more than a few curses came forth from our gathered group.
Tension between countries that supplied the Legion and those who didn’t was escalating. Army and navy groups were moving to confront warlords and to take over nations that wished to tithe. Fingers were being pointed, and blame was being thrown around, as the enemy who took over the moon now had a knife at everyone’s throats.
No one was mentioning that the Legion gathered most of its resources before they were decided to be a threat. Many statisticians and economists pointed to the historically low prices of many rare metals across the world for the last year. Thousands of tons of rare materials were traded for vast quantities of grain and foodstuffs that were turned into Imps. Investigations of the deep sea reported movement in the abyssal depths, and many were sure that the depths of Earth’s oceans were being plundered… and that it would almost be impossible to dislodge the Legion from the ocean’s depths, especially as they were not the sole threat there.
But that was beside the point.
War was coming, many people would die, and there would be further radicalization and destruction… if our assault failed.
Therefore, we needed to succeed.
Too much was on the line for us to fail.
“We should ask for assistance.” Thunderer stated bluntly. Everyone thought it, but none dared to say it. There were those who fought against world-ending threats and even threats to our entire realities. Some heroes of the world were out there protecting us against the whims of mighty interstellar empires. They would be of great help. “I know there are threats besides the Legion, but this is something that can tip the entire world over into war.”
A general murmur took to the room before a bevy of promises came forth that people will contact who they know.
But the outpouring of support was not there, despite the new threat that arose.
As people spoke to one another and coordinated, I turned my gaze back to the screen where we saw into the immense dome.
The Guardians told us that they were confident in their ability to destroy vast amounts of the forces of darkness, but what if it was different now? What if this was not them merely facing a horde but a competent army that supported itself and worked to isolate them from one another? How can they possibly not be overwhelmed… if the strength that they showed us was all that they had?
I had a feeling that with the coming landing upon the moon, we’ll know the true measure of the Guardians of Light as well as the Legion of Shadow.
They have defeated the darkness before after being pushed to the brink.
The only way that they could do it now was if they had strength that they didn’t wish to reveal.
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The first season finale was shaping up to be something very special.
Numerous attempts were being made to infiltrate our presence on the moon. Teleported troops without any identifiers. Small ships that somehow moved through space without exhaust. Dozens of satellites were in the moon’s orbit, and most of them pushed through some sort of dimensional gate. After the island was destroyed, international interest in us increased, and now everyone was coming out to play with their more exotic toys.
There were even attempted abductions of a couple imps through some sort of interdimensional rift.
They learned quickly that was a bad idea when more imps came through its shadow, and they spat us out.
There was even a robot incursion in a crater. A replicating robot that rapidly built up gauss weapons and heat rays and built up from mines and factories; it built itself. The facility destroyed itself and its robots when it realized that I was farming it for weapons and refined metals.
Overall, humanity was waking up to us being a threat, and the gates were opening to showcase its true strength to us.
And, of course, it was validating my choice to stay back, keep calm, and build up while no one suspected a thing.
The Guardians of Light were strong, but the real threat came from the planet that managed to survive dozens of apocalyptic events by handily defeating them while holding back hundreds of others.
Sure, they were panicked, but I’ve looked through the history books.
Earth and humanity have advanced at a ludicrously fast pace, and if we let our guard down, it’ll shank us in the ribs. They have dozens of scientific avenues to work with and explore with incredibly bright minds. There are extradimensional anomalies exploited for resources that make reality act like playdough. Then, besides the magic given by the Light, there’s regular magic that’s always been present. With one wrong move, if we raise the tension a bit too high, then the big hitters will turn around and hit us with overwhelming force.
The fact that we were being tested and prodded was already a bad sign, so I was glad that we were getting ready to bug out.
I’ll lay low for a few months, make all the Imps trawl the oceans and start farming algae, and then start season 2 off with a kaiju attack.
Going from outer space to the abyss of the ocean should be a good enough change of pace.
I was drawn out of my thoughts by Alex rising out of the shadow of a stool and clambering onto it.
“Dang, things are getting crazy down there. Glad that we’re wrapping this up. Otherwise, we’ll get hit with the hammer.” Alex gave me a nod when I raised a glass her way. She put her takeout on the counter while an Imp came forward with a root beer float for her. She thanked the Imp before turning back to me. “Any chance we can make them hurry up and clean the fortress up, though? A lot of people are starting to get worried.”
“I wish that we could, but any outward act we take now might just trigger a war, and we need to be obvious about that.” It was distressing, but humanity was turning on itself a little. Tensions were rising between nations that wanted to offer us everything we needed and those who wanted to defeat us. “It would be great if we could just say we intend to conquer the planet, but that would just have the big leagues look our way.”
“And getting folded into multiple dimensions is never fun.” Alex sighed before shaking her head. “Here, I got you and the boss something to try.”
“Oh? Thanks.” Lia popped into being and took a seat between me and Alex. I took the Styrofoam takeout container from her and opened it up. Half of the insides were stir-fried noodles, and the other half was fried shrimp with candied nuts covered in a sweet-smelling sauce/glaze. Lia looked at it, then looked at Alex with betrayal clear on her features. Alex snorted. “She was expecting gelato.”
“Contrast makes everything better. You’ll get sick of the stuff if it’s all you eat, no matter how many flavors we make. Besides, that stuff’s tooth-achingly sweet. You’ll love it.” Alex prodded Lia, and our boss took a moment. She tried it… and soon enough was chopping the takeout container’s contents down. “Good, right?”
The nearest Imp gave a thumbs-up, while Lia kept eating, and Alex caught my attention with a glance.
“Hey, listen, I know we’re making the right moves and playing the long game, but all this chaos is causing some gangs to start getting rowdy. People are getting hurt back where I used to live.” Alex stated, and I gave her my full attention. There was also an uptick in people accepting our offer. It was only natural that crime rates would rise as more people felt the pressure. “Your whole plan has me being some sort of rival for the Guardians, right? Why don’t I start cleaning up criminals? They only fight the Legion and work to save countries. I can help regular people.”
“Sounds pretty good to me. After the fortress is destroyed, you could even make yourself out to be someone who was under control. You can act like a hero, and then when we pop up, you’ll be controlled back to our side.” I brainstormed, and Alex nodded, while Lia finished up the fried shrimp covered in mayonnaise and honey with candied nuts. As crazy as the dish sounded, I had it myself. It was pretty good. Crunchy, chewy, sweet, savory, and piping hot with a slight seafood note with every bite. Crazy, but good. At least, we didn’t have to worry about physical health anymore. “What’ll you be doing, exactly?”
“Hm, well, I’ll admit it. I’m going the illegal vigilante route. Anything less than being cut off won’t do it for the gangs. They’re hardcore. You press back with just force and turn them in, and they’ll just bounce back and get clever.” Alex’s features hardened as she said clever. I had access to her memories and more, but I gave her privacy. She looked at me. “You look like you already know.”
“I prefer to put a barrier between what life I had before and what life I have now.” I admitted freely. The memories were there. I was still me. Being part of the Legion, however, allowed me greater control over myself. That included how I viewed my past. Everything was in perfect clarity, and I could view it however I wished. Seeing everything from the outside and seeing the lives of so many people all over the world… practically confirmed the belief that led me to meet Lia. There’s good in the world, but it’s not worth all the suffering. “I do know about them, and they hurt me plenty, but I haven’t gone out of my way to get rid of them or anything. But I agree that they cause a lot of hurt and that working against them is good.”
I prodded Lia for an answer on her end, since she had the final verdict on how our powers were used.
She gave a decisive and stoic nod at Alex.
Well, it would’ve been if her face wasn’t covered in crumbs, a noodle, and even some sauce.
I got a napkin to wipe her face while she sat still.
“Alright, that’s… good. I mean, yeah, I was sure you’d agree, but it’s still something else to know it after asking.” Alex stated slowly and started digging into her own food. She had some orange chicken, rice, fried rolls, and broccoli beef. A standard order from a Chinese restaurant. It was good that she was following her own philosophy by ordering vegetables. Once we got money, it was months before I ate a vegetable and appreciated it. “We’re sending them off to sleep anyway, right? Anything I deal with just gets captured.”
“That’s right. Even if you wanted to exact some sort of vengeance, it’s impossible. Your presence alone guarantees it.” I confirmed, and Alex nodded. She wasn’t concealing the fact that she might want to hurt the people she’ll be after. She could certainly do a lot of harm by consigning them to an eternity of conflict until they reached peace with themselves in one of innumerable lives. That simply wasn’t possible because of her current state. She was composed of darkness, and it was strengthened in her presence. Anything dead by her hand, even circumstantially, went to us. “Don’t worry about it. Just go out there and root out the bad guys.”
She nodded shakily in response, and she froze when Lia looked her way and shared a singular concept with her. The truth of eternity and thousands of realities that already reached heat death with countless souls lost. Uncountable souls waiting for the infinitely small chance that light, heat, and movement will return and herald life once again so that they could try again. Endless effort with endless pain and suffering, with only the few reaching a state of true peace.
Some would say that a fraction of infinity is still infinity.
But they still fought for fewer souls than we did.
Comments
Danerol
So how big on eldritch scale is Lia? And who is on the other side? Nia? Ali?
deFarnesse
Lia is the personification of Nihilism, how the hell did our boy rizz up the Ultimate Goth Baddie????
Krisjanis Jansons
Would be hilarius if Legions constant poking & proding of Humanity is only reason why Humanity can survive some of worst future crisis.
Fii
That point where MC comments about how humanity starts taking them seriously after the Legion shows a nuclear weapon-level threat. "Welcome to the big leagues. "
Roughstar333
The countdown is beginning. I wonder if the next threat will come from an alien invasion. Merry Christmas!!!
