Azazyel
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Warhammer Omake 1
🕑 Added 2022-09-16 08:08:51 +0000 UTCMadrydon Drados the great Warsmith was in the end a fantastic warrior with no equal that I had met in my cultivation journey. He met my blows that shattered mountains with his warp blessed strength and the Hivecity in which I had been living in simply couldn't take the blows of our titantic forms duking it out as I embodied a massive muscular wrathful Siddhartha Gautama which met Madrydon's Khorne blessed body that grew his body and armor to match the size of an Imperial Emperor Class Titan.
Apparently Khorne saw me dropping a sun on one of his Deamon engines the size of a large skyscraper and decided I needed a match, so he heavily blessed the chaos space marine Warsmith to meet me in one-on-one battle as his legions scoured the planet and I was kept tied down by their war machines and an all but new demon prince.
"Fuck you shitty Iron Warrior! Your Primarch never even loved you!" I snarled as I created a star within my palm held above my hand and as the chaos space marine froze hearing my words and with a snarl everything with a dozen miles was rendered to naught became pure white as my conjured star went supernova and the warp energies saturating the area burnt away in the pure heat of a sun bolstered by the holy energies of my Dharma Idol.
But the physics of a small star going supernova in the end was nothing in the face of Khorne looking at our battle and using his ruinous powers to go 'Nah that fire doesn't hurt him... Why not just try to punch him harder.'
"The Imperial Fists weren't broken by your shitty temper tantrum at having the shittier dad and neither will this planet be a springboard for your invasion just to destroy a shitty Empire that doesn't matter at all with how your daddy rage quit his invasion plans to hide in the Warp!" I taunted as I used one of the massive Deamon Engines in the shape of a Walmart sized hellhound as a baseball bat to wail on him making his Warp enhanced metal armor groan and buckle under the pure weight of having a titan used as a weapon against him.
"Quit calling my legion shit, you pathetic human!" Madrydon cried out as he used his Power Claws that crackled with purple warp enhanced lightning to slice through the demon engine and make me retreat briefly before I threw another sun in his face sending his form flying hundreds of meters.
"Fuck you Iron Loser! Your Primarch was a rat during the Heresy and accomplished nothing! He stood there like a little bitch just watching as Terra was invaded and hardly did anything!" Even as I took out my Dharma Sword and integrated it into my massive Dharma Idol I still whispered the same poisonous words that could even turn Primarch's from their own Emperor Father.
"He literally used decimation when he first rejoined your legion you fool! He had every ten members of his legions pick a random person in the group of ten and then had the other members beat that member to death with their bare hands! But how can I expect someone drinking the Chaos koolaid to understand common sense and have a brain." I taunted sending the Iron Warrior into a primal rage as his black armor took on a reddish tinge in sections as Khorne blessed him even further.
"The only notable achievement your Primarch had was killing the mortal form of Fulgrim... He was so pathetic that even as he attempted to kill his opponent, he failed so horribly that he made them immortal and a demon prince to boot." I hissed as I finally managed to seal up the limbs of Madrydon with my massive Kasaya Beads which each individual bead being the size of a cargo container.
"My Legion is dauntless! They will shatter this planet in hellfire and every soul will be taken to Choas to be tortured for eternity!" Madrydon cried out knowing his death was close how I bound him and pressed my sword against his forehead.
"I would say burn in hell you heretic, but hell is where you live with your demon dick girlfriend that you blow to keep Slaanesh's favor." I smiled softly as I pushed my Dharma Sword through the Warsmith's neck and through his spine.
"I don't have a herk demon dick girlfriend!" He choked out literally vomiting blood through the hole I put through his throat but even then, I could see my words had gotten to him even more than my words about his Primarch being a shitty dad.
"Uhm yeah you do? Everyone knows you Iron Losers keep a demon dick girlfriend with a barded cock as a lover as you guys are so inferior in compared to the Emperor's Children." I said in mock confusion.
Madrydon Drados even as he choked and drowned in his blood attempted to kick me as I beside him with our massive forms losing their size as the battle was over with how the Warsmith was slowly expiring. "Yeah, you see that... You laying there on the ground trying to merely kick me is a sure sign of your bitch Gene Seed showing through... Actually, is it possible that like the Space Wolves you guys got some crap from something like a fainting goat? It would make sense with the weird horns" I muttered aloud as Madrydon attempted to sit up in his large suit of power armor and strangle me.
"Ah Ah Ah." I chided kicking the space marine in the face opening of his armor. "An adult is speaking so be a good little baby with daddy issues and stay on the ground... Actually, just die you are worthless, and no one loved you." I said stomping my foot through his head and colliding with the back armor of his helmet.
Comments
Chichi son
"Uhm yeah you do? Everyone knows you Iron Losers keep a demon dick girlfriend with a barded cock as a lover as you guys are so inferior in compared to the Emperor's Children." I said in mock confusion. barbed
Big ToFu
lol that was damn good!
Azazyel
Yeah I was very Meta in this little omake with little to no context lol
Mioismoe
I don't know what any of that meant but it was still funny.
