Azazyel
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Genshin Chapter 93
🕑 Added 2023-07-08 11:45:03 +0000 UTCThe painful thing about Genshin Impact was just how amazing many of their characters just were really... Eula had her family issues, and a great sense of duty to Mondstadt even if the ignorant assmunchers pushed her away at the door, and ever step of the way we had been in Liyue, Eula had stuck with us through thick and thin.
To say nothing of how I truly adored Lumine for being a confident spitfire of a woman who was almost more like my wingman than a competitor or even partner in how we both bullied Eula with love, to kick the Tsundere out of her and we literally hadn't had her swear any form of vengeance upon us besides the part where I accidentally made her snort on some water when I made her laugh when getting a drink.
And Shenhe was no different. Shenhe was painfully a very real person that not even the game could truly capture in a couple of hundred voice lines at most. Sure the game got, her attitude and demeanor, for the most part, spot on really.
But her casual bloodthirst and willingness to rip someone's head off their shoulder and then processed to use that head to bludgeon that dude's nine generations of bandit family to death most certainly was downplayed in the game with the only bits being about the Adepti red rope that was tied around her body that restrained her inner murderhobo.
The game really only specified us killing Fatui agents and monsters during our adventures. But when Shenhe skewered some poor bastard on her spear and then flung said dude with a bowling ball-sized hole through his chest into his friends it really highlighted how... Casual death was here in Teyvat. "We aren't going to capture them to be put on trial?" I asked a little perturbed at how Shenhe went straight into killing all the Treasure Hoarders and she scoffed as one of the men screamed before she silenced him permanently as she swiped her spear elegantly around and took off his head as easily as if she was instead just slapped a golf ball with her spear.
"No. Treasure Hoarder, bandits have been told for centuries that they will be killed on sight in Liyue. We do not appreciate them raiding the countless tombs of dead and sealed gods across Liyue that will vent their fury upon the mortal world once disturbed." She said with a frown. I nodded in understanding and with a flex of my elemental energy, the ground became soft around all the corpses with them quickly sinking into the loose ground before I hardened the ground once I could sorta feel with my Geo powers they had sunk a good couple meters under the soil and into bedrock.
Honestly, if you were told blatantly that you would be executed for flying your bandit/pirate flag for centuries and you got caught with said flag, and the obviously displayed misbegotten goods from caravans being held up. I couldn't judge Shenhe for that, as I knew some of the bandits Lumine and I captured back in Mondstadt got the axe and executed.
Also, it was kinda natural selection at that point as no one in the world liked Treasure Hoarders in any way.
"Jake, your mind is like storm clouds," Shenhe spoke making my lips twitch in a small smile as she held her hands together and took a deep breath while speaking slowly and clearly. "Still the tumultuous clouds of strife and excessive thought and return to the clear lake of calmness that is a clear blue sky untainted by anything." She seemed to recite and I realized she was parroting what her master Cloud Retainer certainly would have said to her during her training.
Just to play along I did as she said and relaxed while taking a deep breath, holding it, and then releasing it to calm myself more. Though as I did so, I felt Beisht's dragon core pulse with energy as I took that breath of Teyvat's air that was filled with elemental energies.
Either way, as I refocused and tried to ignore the dragon core, I looked at Shenhe and I saw her rifling through the chests of the Treasure Hoarders had set aside for their loot. "Ah, this is nice." Shenhe said and I snorted as I saw her awkwardly mount a Liyue Milileth helmet on her head that obviously didn't fit with how Shenhe was already wearing an ornate head piece.
"Shenhe, you don't do the soldier look." I teased her as I took gently took the helmet from her and paused as I saw dried blood on the inside of the helmet so I respectfully put it back in my chest before I looked back at her with a raised eyebrow as I saw she was slightly pouting at me of all things. "Oh come on Shenhe, let's get cooking at least," I said taking her hand into my own and I thanked all seven fucking Archons and all the other dead gods for my Aura as I mentally screamed as Shenhe's hands turned into a damned vice with her literally draining my Aura, a whole percentage a second as her hand went from being flat in my hand to her actually intertwining my her fingers into my own as she walked beside me.
Shenhe, as per usual had no control over her strength. This was one of the reasons why Cloud Retainer had to make her a bed made of a slab of enchanted rock and a pillow... Also made out of magical enchanted rock. I knew, down to the depths of my soul that she wasn't purposefully hurting me with her grip, she just had that strong of a natural grip.
"The process in which to make Liyue, snake soup is a long and patient process in which we must make sure all the flesh and ligaments melt down to make the soup before we remove the remains of the bones... Typically that would be the case but for bones, these sizes, the master told me the best thing to do is to use the bone marrow and inner soft parts of the bone directly." Shenhe gently spoke as she took out one of the bones of Beisht that was honestly probably twice as long as an elephant tusk really. And then with a violent cracking noise.
Shenhe in the most fucking unladly like manner I had ever seen food prepared, broke the bone over her knee and then used a small dagger to gouge out the bone marrow from the bone while I hid my gaping expression from her as she cutely began humming as she started cooking in a large pot she took from out of her space bag.
'Is that what Lolyd felt like when he got into a relationship with Yor, in Spy X Family?' I thought wryly before snorting as I realized the parallels were too damned similar honestly.
Shenhe blinked and looked up towards me as I took a seat beside her in a fold-out chair I got in Mondstadt while Shenhe was literally sitting on a log of all things as she tended to the fire. "So some rods and cloth could make a decent travel-worthy chair... I will have to remind my master as she gave me this to sit on during my travels." Shenhe said and with a wave of her hand, a backless stool made of fossilized wood that glowed with Adepti runes appeared between us. That she then sat onto. "I do adore this stool though." Shenhe muttered with a nostalgic smile as she kicked her feet out a bit as the stool was actually pretty high with the exposed side's of her body glove being at my face level when I turned to look up at her a bit.
Even as Shenhe told me the wonderful tale of how she beat a Mitachurl to death with said stool she showed me how to properly make the snake soup but eventually, she cursed and stood up with her frowning as her stool was actually a bit too tall for her to comfortably bend over to keep stirring and adding stuff to the pot.
Then Shenhe seemed to have a Eureka moment as she looked down towards me. "Jake, would you mind if I sat in your lap so I could keep stirring the pot comfortably?" She asked innocently with her head tilting to the side slightly in question.
Comments
Azazyel
Thats the goal ;P
Bombasticlambast
You know at the rate jake is going heβs going to have a girlfriend of each country in teyvat his wiener would have circle the globe at the end of this story
Azazyel
He is more likely to die under the thighs of Shenhe or Ei than any random bandit or Fatui agent...
Laplase
I fear for Jake's Head and Hips, if she can't control her Superwoman Strength. May his Body and Aura be strong enough to survive her hips or die by snu snu...
