Azazyel
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Hughammer Chapter 4
🕑 Added 2023-09-12 19:21:18 +0000 UTCI frowned at the head elf of Santa... I didn't like him, he was too tall and all those gems on his armor made him look weird.
And I really didnt like how he said I was being bad and may not get any candy. Who did he think he was? My dad?
The more I thought about this up-jumped stupidly tall elf the more angry I got, I got super mega angry actually!
"Tidder's kick his butt so we can find the cookie jars later!" I ordered but Tidder's didnt do anything and I felt a lance of red hot anger fill me and I screamed. "Tidders!"
My bear turned around and even as my vision became red-tinged I froze as Tidders patted my head and I felt some of this weird anger leave me but then the ground shook and the big-headed elf whispered. "Oh, that's unfortunate."
And then the smell hit me, the most vile musky scent that far exceeded that time I went to go check on dad when he made a bunch of clones to beat all my mommy's in a wrestling competition at once. But beyond the musky scent, there was also a scent of rotting meat or eggs like the time that I accidentally dropped an egg under the fridge and it rotted.
Then Eldrad or whatever his name called out seemingly to everyone's minds. "The Great Enemy is upon us! To battle stations!" After making the call to battle the man then turned to me and with Tidder's holding my shoulder I kinda of felt bad telling my bear to smack him around. "Young man, please go with these young ladies to safety." He said and looked at the two nice older sister's who had lead me here.
I bit my lips and shook my head as I said strongly. "No! I can help, if they are monsters! Dad says Tibbers is the strongest as he can beat anyone up!" I said proudly and the man's face twitched for some off reason but then his already pale skin went chalk white as everything shook and then a multicolor tear opened in the air and Tibber's picked up and I realized something really bad was coming if Tibber's just wanted to pick me up instead of fighting.
A red hand, a large crimson demonic hand came through the portal and although the elves shot blinding lightning at the armored hand, the hand then fully came through the portal with a large sword coming through the portal itself now and the lightning was seemingly absorbed into the sword.
"Red Angel, be gone!" Eldrad roared and I twitched as I felt the same feeling as when Dad decided to turn off gravity and be lazy but in reverse as the world was seemingly twisted under the elfs power and I couldn't help but think. 'Huh, maybe Dad would like to have the man as a butler. He seems pretty cool and he can make the best desserts supposedly?' I mused but my funny though was cut short as three more portals opened.
And from the four portals... Came ugly things, a large blob of nasty. A two-headed bird thingy that looked at me like the maids and dad's Gardevoir and Mama Raikou sometimes did, a weird cow-headed thing that was super slender and almost pretty to look at but once again... It was looking at me weirdly, but the first one the one that Eldrad called the Red Angel?
That big guy just clearly wanted to smash me to pieces.
A quiet gurgling rang out next to me and my eyes widened as the two pretty elf, big sisters's who were so nice to me had these claw things pushed through their chests that were coated in lightning as a really large man in black and golden armor appeared out of a shadow from behind them. "Tibbers kill him!" I snarled and my bear dropped me as he grew twice as large and was now a great deal taller than the evil man and even as he threw the girls off his claws I slid over with my angelic wings popping out of my back to catch them in vines of green healing energy.
A loud roar rang out as Tibber's smashed the evil man into the ground and although the evil man used a mace that shot lightning at Tibber's and even those lightning-covered gauntlets, Tibber's beat the man like a drum with the obviously enchanted armor making super loud gonging noises as his fists and claws smashed onto him.
"Come with us boy, and the girls may yet live." A voice hissed and I saw the bird thing had come closer with one head but inches away from my face and I saw just past the demonic bird was Eldrad and the other elves fighting that Red Angel thing and the large blob of yellow nasty that was vomiting acid everywhere.
The stress was too much, I didn't want these people to get hurt and I knew these meanies were here for me... Dad always warned me and my siblings that we were special and that people would try to hurt our friends to hurt us and through us him.
I sniffled, and the demon cackled and I felt something touch my leg and I looked down and saw a pink tentacle coming from the cow-headed demon. "Dad! He is going to touch me with the tentacles!" I screamed as all of Dad's warnings about staying far away from tentacle monsters came to my mind.
The world stopped. Not a single person, piece of debris, or thing could move except for myself and Tibbers and my bear kept beating on that meanie as I cried out with tears streaming down as the sound of a zipper being forcible pulled open rang. "Dad!" I called out and a rip in reality formed with my dad climbing through with a visible frown of disappointment that melted away seeing me hugging the big sisters and the demons hunched over my form still frozen at the weight of dad freezing reality in place.
"Aatrox what in the world happened? Your sister said you bribed Ophis for a portal passed the Gap to avoid getting in trouble. Why in the hell did you do that?" Dad demanded and I shrunk in place.
"I didn't mean it... But Dad! This guy was touching me with tentacles and this bird man wanted to take me away and that meanie that Tibber's cannot kill, hurt my new maids!" I said in rapid-fire trying to push Dad's attention to something else and it worked as his now slitted eye's landed onto the tentacle demon that with a sudden scream burst into blue flames and then within seconds popped out of existence.
-
Sometimes... Having kids was a fucking pain in the ass. Having kids with superpowers and able to run to entire different realities to cause trouble made them an entirely bigger pain in the ass. "Aatrox... Just go on home with your new... Maids." I said with my lips twitching as I saw how his unicorn heritage had locked those purity-obsessed space elves into adoring him.
'Welp, looks like he has his first peerage members.' I mused with some amusement as I yeeted my damned son back home with his new maids that I would need to make sure were conditioned to be loyal to my trouble maker.
But beyond that. My complete unamused eye's stared beyond the puny ship I was upon and beyond the void into the swelling ocean of spiritual energy that I recognized as the Warp. "You think you can fuck with my son with tentacles?" I spoke with my voice becoming a twisted haunted thing as I abandoned my human form as I stepped into the warp and within moments I became larger than solar systems and became even larger as I took on my true form and became the Dream.
I was Jake Barriss, father of many, Lover of Azathoth, the concept of Twisted Flesh and a little fucking pond of spiritual energy, and the decently powerful spirits within were nothing to me.
Comments
placid
Nah, this is just the start of the crossover with cultivator Jake. Maybe more Jake Corporation lore?
Azazyel
Oopse yup fixing it lol
Daniel Foley
Dear Author-san, Wrong tag has been added to this chapter. Thanks.
Gilgamos
Papa Jake about to give them the his righteous fist of love!! Garp style
Trey-Way
Bro more chapters man
j0ntsa
Let us see as he breaks the warp!!
Azazyel
Tell me if you guys care to see the Chaos Gods folded like a table or should I skip the beatdown
