Onlyreon
dirk_grey from patreon
dirk_grey patreon

Blacksmith vs. the System 71

🕑 Added 2024-09-07 04:01:00 +0000 UTC

Comments

Chawki89

Just wanted to add that I love this story. It’s doing great. This is the first thing that has really bothered my immersion, but it’s a really really big one. I’ve been a soldier for over 14 years and have experience with mercenary and paramilitary groups.

Chawki89

Something throwing me off right now is how he is using the guards. Guards hired by Maria. He has no verbal or written agreement to take charge of these people. And he is commanding them in situations that have potential for permanent disability or death. Has he said he would pay a death benefit or take care of them. No. This is not how this type of work is handled anywhere anytime. He needs to have an agreement to hire these guards from Maria or Eleanor to do what he is doing. Otherwise they are also derelict in their duties as well. It’s borderline traitorous. A short sweet mercenary like contract. Should be an easy fix.


More Creators