Wiererid
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Chaos Gacha 1 (Honkai Impact 3rd)
🕑 Added 2025-09-06 13:47:06 +0000 UTCAuthor Notes: This is a heads up. New fanfic. This is brainless fun I wll be using to distress, won't affect Human Bean schedule.
Giving you a headsup to find it on QQ where actual discussions and shit will be going on. Much love!"
***
It was a dark and stormy night.
The men dressed in nondescript dark clothing and balaclavas were loading unmarked white trucks, and a few guards stood around the perimeter of the weathered warehouses, old, used AK-47s in their hands.
A lieutenant in military uniform was barking orders, saying to the loaders to hurry up. None of the assembled people saw the figure on the rooftop of a nearby building scanning them, clad in shadows.
A flash of lightning, and a booming thunder rang out. The figure on the rooftop was gone.
The loading was proceeding smoothly for a while.
The warehouse was located inside a city, in a residential area, so naturally it had the sizable front gates, and a fence with barbed wire - courtesy of the previous regime - to keep it separated and secure from the outside world.
Lightning flashed.
And at that instance, with a thundering metallic ringing, an impact resonated from the front gates. The gates immidiately curved inwards… and slowly, with a sound of tearing and breaking metal, fell inwards.
It would’ve surely been all very dramatic…
If an armoured leg wasn’t stuck in those gates, as it clearly kicked through them with the aforementioned impact. And if, as the gates fell, they didn’t drag a certain mysterious shadow-clad figure with them, making him swear out loud, as he fell with them.
With a short bark, the guards pointed their rifles at the intruder, a man clad in armour that looked so pitch black, one might think it was made out of shadow… because it was.
A second before the first shot was fired, the armoured knight, whose very figure oozed shadows as if they were smoke, and who was desperately trying to free himself, looked up.
***
Let me tell you, it’s an indescribable feeling to stare down a dozen barrels pointed at your face. It made you feel things. As for me, I suddenly found that I was in a contemplative mood. Introspective one, really.
It was a clinical detachment that gripped my heart, a sudden moment of clarity, of understanding, acceptance, and a brief touch of amusement, that indescribable cocktail of feelings that flare up when an event you are involved in stops being just embarrassing and dangerous, and catapults straight into ‘I reall am that much of a fuck up, heh?’ category.
So yep, that’s me.
And I am, too, wondering how I got myself into this situation.
See, being suddenly transmigrated into another world was fucking wild, man. 10/10 experience, makes you shit a whole metric ton of bricks, won’t recommend.
The thing is, it wasn’t easy to recognize that I had gotten into another world. Not at first. When I got here? It felt like I just woke up on a bench in some asian shithole country. Looked like rural China, honestly, but that’s because I am an uncultured swine, and to me, everything is either le cringe Asian Shithole (read as; China, South Korea, Vietnam, India), or la soyjack poggers wholesome chungus Japan. I am exaggerating for comedic effect, of course, but regarding Asia I was mostly an ignorant fellow, aside from Japan, which I got exposed to due to anime; every other asian country kinda blurred together for the most part.
Honestly, I wasn’t too far off. Almost no one fucking spoke English, hieroglyphics all around, and I am pretty sure everyone was called ching-chong or some shit. I am exaggerating here, but that’s just stress getting to me.
So, my first thought wasn’t an isekai adventure, or a world-swap straight out of DC comics. I just thought ‘holy shit, I’ve seen something about cats and shridenger on YouTube, physics is real, man, I need to contact someone that I just fucking teleported’.
I mean, I knew myself and where I lived. There is no way I can be kidnapped from home without waking up a single time and get transported to another country - or some set, so teleportation was the least improbable option here.
Then, I got ahold of myself a little and felt that… thing.
To cut a long story short, I got the grip on my superpower. Which makes me an isekai protagonist of sorts. Not exactly conventional by western standards, because in the West, you have someone with powers already when they get dumped into another world. The one swapped to another world is rarely a normie, and if it’s a normie, he doesn’t get new sweet juicy superpowers out of the deal. At least I can’t recall any books, movies, or comics like that.
Aside from maybe that one French W.I.T.C.H. cartoon… okay, getting sidetracked here.
What I am getting at is that superpowered world transmigration is a Japanese invention, so I am calling this an isekai in my head.
So, what is my power?
Honestly? No fucking clue how to describe it.
I could feel myself connected to something. By like… strings or some shit. Some invisible whisps of energy. When I focused on those whisps, I could roughly tell what they connected me with. Both the giant cosmic something, and specifically what each ‘string’ was responsible for.
And when I pulled on those strings? I got whatever they connected me with shoved into my body… or hands, if it was an item.
More on that later, back to my handsome, but unfortunate, ass waking up on a bench in a town with people genetically predisposed to squinting.
So, I got myself to the first secluded alleyway and pulled on those cool Cosmic Strings of Fate.
That’s how I call it. Cosmic String of Fate. No, it was Cosmic Chaos String of… ah, whatever.
Anyhow, I got actual superpowers.
The first power already brought me to a superhuman level. It enchanted my agility, reflexes, balance, spatial orientation... I basically became Spider-Man! Except not really. I got superhuman, sure, I could now do a split without feeling like my balls will burst, I can do backflips, and I was overall just flexible. But by itself, it made me like an E-list superhero. Like… I don’t even know. Black Widow, but without actual training? No, Black Window feels far too lame. Squirel Girl, her, but without plot armour and actually funny powers.
Luckily, my second ability made up for that.
Shadow Armour! Well, I call it Shadow Armour, in practice it was, like, an ability on itself. I could control shadows, at least as long as they are not too far away from my body. I could shape them into anything at all, but the easiest was covering myself in… well, armour. The cool part was that while I was clad in my armour, I was stronger, faster, and more durable. It wasn’t just ‘power armour’, I legitimately became superhuman when tapping into this ability!
It was also clearly magical. When using it, I was mostly guided by some instinctive understanding, but I could tell I was drawing on some internal energy!
Combined with my already super-human ability, I actually became kinda like a… Venom. Like, legitimately. A black costume that I can shape into whatever I want? Check. Superhuman stats? Check. I only lacked the webs, which… okay, webs are important, it kinda sucked without them. But at least there is no way I will ever get one-tapped by a sonic attack, so sucks to suck being a symbiote, I guess.
At the start, when I only got into this world, I had four abilities to pull into myself. The two I already mentioned, and also the ability to change the texture and colour of anything I touch, which lasts until the object is damaged enough. Works only on non-living objects, and it’s some sort of magic, too. It sounds underwhelming until you realize that I can turn an entire reinforced steel wall into glass and shatter it with one hit. Sure, it will revert to concrete chunks, but those would still be shattered.
The only downside is that I couldn’t use both magics at the same time. Unlike with my reflex enhancement, which got absorbed into my body, those magics were… well, they felt like someone shoved someone else’s mastery and in-depth understanding of some magic into my head. A mastery that was so profound that I kinda understood what to do what I want without even thinking about that. Maybe for that reason, I couldn’t absorb them. Instead, it was like I… wore them, I guess? Used them, and could swap between them. Though it took some time to exchange one for another, it’s kinda hard to describe.
As for the fourth ability, a metric shit-ton of actual knowledge and in-depth understanding of animal psychology and behavior, and how to communicate and tame beasts. This one got integrated into me, unlike both of the magics.
Cool. Kinda random, but cool.
So, I spent the first day trying to understand where I was and also getting something to eat.
The issue is that no one spoke English. Luckily, some chumps tried to mug me within an hour. I am not really the kind of guy who gets into fights, but with my superpowers? I felt pretty confident. I’ve beaten the shit out of them and taken their wallets and phones. One of the guys pulled out a knife, but surprisingly, it was easy to deal with when I saw every attack coming and could move quickly enough to intercept.
Didn’t even have to use the Shadow Armour.
I beat them up and… my Cosmic String of Fate rewarded me! By giving me a bowl of pasta that refilled itself infinitely with a new pasta dish whenever I wanted it to.
If it isn’t my superpower giving me a clue that by fate I am to be a superhero by giving me a reward cookie, I don’t know what is, but… well, more on that later.
So, once I got a phone and some cash (by robbing the muggers I’ve beaten up), I managed to use Google! Though it wasn’t called Google here.
Turns out? I was in another world… kinda. Thing is? It just felt like I was back on Earth, just with one extra continent called… Mu. Boring, right? At least it could’ve been called something metal like Atlantis, but no, it’s Mu.
As for the rest of the world? Asia was Asia, Europe was Europe, and the global geography, at least when it comes to major details, was the same… but the specifics? That’s where shit got weird. There were a bunch of minor towns and cities that never existed on my earth, and some real cities were gone.
This world didn’t have LA or San Francisco! Lucky bastards.
This world, specifically the USA, however, had a city called Brockton Bay.
This was when my neurons activated. My brain trembled. My body shivered. I was in Worm! I knew I was in a worm!
And from that day onwards, I knew my destiny was to beat the cosmic horror of this world and become the best superhero there ever was…
Yeah, no. Brockton Bay seemed to be a coincidence.
Thing is? The year didn’t line up. It was 2031st here. Also, no people with superpowers in the world’s recorded history. If you don’t count zombies as people with superpowers.
Yep, zombies. Apparently, Germany in this world got fucked up badly. And I don’t mean during or after WW2, I mean something big happened there like a year ago, and on the internet, no one knew what exactly. Officially, it was called an Eruption of something that the Japanese (I think, maybe it was the Chinese) called Honkai. Which translates to ‘corruption’ or some shit like that. It got a bunch of people turning into monsters, and basically fucked Europe up massively. Shit is still getting cleaned up, some monsters are still there, and a major part of Germany is contaminated with both this Honkai contamination and the radioactive contamination from the tactical nukes detonated there when the monster hordes first started eating through cities.
The consequences for the entire world were enormous, but that’s besides the point for now. What is important is that the consequences were so huge that they even reached Asia.
How do I know? Well, because it mainly affected the country I was in. Which country?
…
…
Best Korea. Also Known As North Korea.
I mean, technically ‘United Korea’. The thing is, the year here is 2031. South and North Korea, as far as I understand, have been in the process of merging for the last four years. Then Europe got nuked with alien radiation, which didn’t give people superpowers (yet), and they expedited the process because the economy worldwide was crushing.
Yes, you heard that right, in this cursed world, Best Korea has fallen. With this character's death, the thread of prophecy is severed. Reset the timeline to restore the weave of fate, or persist in the doomed world you have created.
Indeed, Kimmy Boy was no more. Billions Must Die.
Seriously though, I was in the territory that used to be le horrible dystopian authoritarian North Korea, but was now a le based capitalist paradise! A place of knowledge and learning, where anyone could do anything, where American dream was alive!
Yeah, okay, actually, seriously now.
In reality, things got a lot worse here after the merger, from what I gathered. People in a socialist country? They aren’t prepared to be thrown into an unregulated free market. Before those guys could live from paycheck to paycheck without much trouble, they were in a queue for a car or a flat, but all those social programs and most work just got deleted practically overnight.
And when most of the industry and services in the country that belonged and were subsidized by the government, suddenly got sold for dirt-chip to anyone with some money, including foreigners, while the police were underfunded and local officials got changed? It led to some crime. A fair bit of it.
Like, a shit ton of crime. Like Russia in the 90s level of crime.
And here I was, stuck here, with no legal identity, no real money, but with superpowers.
Truly, I was an illegal alien hobo with a great destiny.
I figured I was in a superhero world of some kind. It certainly seemed like it if you squint, and seeing that I was a good illegal immigrant and adapted to the culture that was gracious enough to host me, I was trying to be a good boy and do a lot of squinting.
Too many things about this world just… clicked when you looked at it through that prism, you know? Weird ass cities and towns that never existed on my old Earth, a calamity that looked like a catalyst for superpowers, because you know… honkai zombies do get supernatural strength and shit. The year is 2031, with literal robots in more advanced countries. On this Mu continent, they had robot maids! Not to mention hyper-sonic jets being commonplace, that fly above the lower level of the atmosphere, all that casual superhero-world, unrealistic technology bullshit.
Now, I am trying to be cheerful and nonchalant, but the last two weeks were anything but. I am not exactly an action movie hero type; I am afraid to fight. I don’t like hurting people.
But I had superpowers now, I was in one of the most crime-ridden countries in the world, and if I ever wanted to get out of here, I needed money.
So I decided to go ahead of the curve and become the first superhero. Surely this honkai thingy will make a lot of X-Men in a few years anyway, might as well establish myself as the Batman, and be there when Justice League forms. Or however this superhero rip-off world will call its team.
My Shadow Armour was perfect for that, especially with how easy it was to make it look like… well, anything I imagined.
And that’s how I became the Shadow-Man © (name pending), the protector of the innocent, the gang-buster, the Dark Knight ©. I decided to rip off the classics (after making sure they didn’t exist in this world’s media), and my armour was basically identical to that bad-ass Berserker from that one Fate anime… except I also had a Batman symbol on my breastplate. I could also make my armour fucking ooze shadow, as if it’s smoke, and it looked metal.
Thing is, unlike bad-ass superheroes, I was new to this whole thing. I also didn’t speak the local language. I also didn’t want to accidentally kill anyone, because killing people is fucked up.
So, I only had a few encounters with the criminals. Enough to get the pocket change that allowed me to visit that one diner to charge my (stolen) phone, and to save some for a rainy day.
I could also make myself normal clothes from shadow, and make them appear as just black pants, boots, and a neat t-shirt.
The rest of the world was pretty advanced, yeah, but… well, the place that used to be North Korea? I didn’t compare this place with rural China from my world for nothing.
I was in some small town, maybe like 200k people lived here. The phone I stole was a smartphone, sure, but it was an analogue of a bootleg Android phone from the 2010s. It couldn’t run basically any modern app, had a cracked screen, and lost battery super quickly. It was still enough to use it as a translator when I was trying to buy something, and it had not-Google Maps, which helped a bunch.
Today was my twelfth day in this world.
In my first major raid on the crime syndicate… or I think it’s a crime syndicate.
The thing is, I knew from the maps that this warehouse belonged to the military. I was also patrolling at night to look for crime to bring to justice (muggers to rob) as I do every night, and saw one of those guys in a balaclava pay off this guy in a military uniform.
So, knowing this is my first major entry as a superhero, I decided to go in and save the day.
Que to me being here. Kicking the front door so hard that my leg got stuck, and falling inwards with the gates because even if my sense of balance was supernatural and my control over my strength pretty great, I still wasn’t above physics (yet), and the massive gate simply dragged me down with it.
Is this a good time to say I wasn’t sure if I am bulletproof?
“Bul!” The man in the uniform screamed, and they opened fire.
The world slowed down, as I could hear my heart trying to beat its way out of my chest. I swear I could see the muzzle flash before the sound of the gunshot.
Yet, even as I could feel the gates bending under my attempts to yank my leg out, I knew it was too late.
The bullets hit me like angry wasps – if angry wasps were made of metal and traveling at the speed of "fuck you in particular”. I was superhuman, but not superhuman enough to see speeding bullets in the dark.
I was mentally prepared for the pain but…
They didn't hurt. At all.
The shadow armor absorbed every impact with a sound like rain on a tin roof, bullets visibly ricocheting, some hitting the gates beneath my feet, and stroke sparks from the metal. I could feel the bullets hitting me, sure, but it was more like getting pelted with really aggressive paintballs.
The realization that I was actually bulletproof hit me harder than the bullets themselves.
Holy shit, I'm actually bulletproof. Oh, thank you, sweet Lord Jesus.
This was the moment I should have done something cool. Something Batman-esque. Rise dramatically from the spot, cape billowing (if I had a cape), and deliver some badass one-liner before systematically dismantling my opponents with calculated precision.
Instead, I flailed like a turtle on its back, still trying to get my fucking leg unstuck from the twisted metal gate.
"Mweoya i geo?" one of the guards said, probably ‘what the hell’, as AK clicked empty. In the sudden pause as they all scrambled to reload, the only sound was me grunting and swearing under my breath as I finally managed to wrench my armored boot free.
I rolled to my feet just as they finished reloading, and this time I was ready.
The lieutenant was screaming something in Korean – probably "kill the shadow demon" or "who ordered the discount Venom" – but I wasn't listening. I was too busy actually acting like a superhero for once.
I moved.
Not ran. Moved. With my enchanted body, each step propelled me a few solid meters even in the initial dash; this wasn’t a sprint anymore. My enhanced reflexes kicked in fully, and damn did I feel alive.
The closest guard was maybe ten feet away. I covered the distance before his brain could process that I'd moved at all.
My shadow-clad fist connected with his solar plexus, and I felt that weird moment of resistance as my supernatural strength met regular human durability. I pulled the punch at the last second – didn't want to accidentally punch a hole through the guy – but it was still enough to lift him clean off his feet and send him flying backward into a stack of wooden crates.
I winced, already knowing I should’ve held back more; hopefully, he wasn’t dead. At least I didn’t feel anything crack in him when I hit. Surprisingly, that knowledge about taming and animals came in clutch here; instinctively, I just knew this much shouldn’t immediately kill a mammal of that size, though the whole situation is likely to be counterproductive to taming, and can traumatize the beasty.
He hit with a crash that would have made a Hollywood stuntman proud, and wasn’t getting up any time soon.
The lieutenant was still barking orders, but his voice had gone up an octave. Funny how seeing a shadow-demon casually Falcon Punch your subordinates into next week can affect a man's composure.
Three guards tried to act while I was still getting my bearings – amateur mistake, but desperation makes people stupid. The first one had his rifle up but was clearly struggling with the magazine; his hands were shaking so badly he couldn't get it seated properly.
Seeing me looking, he started to press down on his trigger despite not even having the mag loaded.
Click-click-click. Nothing.
I took a step toward him, and he panicked, swinging his empty AK like a club. I caught it mid-swing – the wood stock splintering in my gauntlet’s grip – and yanked it out of his hands so hard he spun around and fell on his ass. I gently kicked the guy in the stomach.
The second guard actually managed to reload, but when he pulled the trigger, nothing happened. Either some of the rain got into his second mag, or the rusty piece of shit jammed. Tough luck. In the split second he spent looking down at his weapon in confusion, I was already there.
I grabbed him by the shoulders, lifted him, and, fearful that someone else would shoot me and hit him, threw him like a ragdoll into the crates he and his buddies were loading.
The third guard was the smart one. He'd managed to reload properly, had his safety off, and was actually aiming at my center mass. Professional stance, controlled breathing, or… well, it looked like it to me.
Weird how an impression like that can form in a split second when I actually looked at him.
He squeezed the trigger.
Pop-pop-pop-pop.
The bullets sparked off my armor, and I saw his face go through the five stages of grief in about two seconds. Denial – he kept pulling the trigger. Anger – he screamed something that was definitely profanity. Bargaining – he dropped the rifle and put his hands up. Depression – his shoulders slumped. And finally, acceptance – he started to slowly back away toward the exit with his hands still raised, and shaking like a leaf.
I let him go. I mean, shit man, beating him up after that would’ve just been too much.
Meanwhile, one of the loaders had decided he was going to be a hero. He grabbed a crowbar from somewhere and charged at me, yelling what I assumed was either a battle cry or a very creative string of curse words.
I sidestepped his swing – the crowbar whooshed past my head by a good six inches – and slapped him across the head with a gauntlet.
He went down like he'd been hit by a truck, cursing and clutching his head.
Raptured eardrums and a concussion, my taming knowledge supplied helpfully.
Okay, definitely need to work on force calibration.
Two more guards tried to coordinate some kind of pincer movement, but they were clearly making it up as they went along. One got tangled up in some cargo netting trying to circle around me, and by the time he worked himself free, his partner had already given up and was actively looking for the nearest exit.
The tangled guard finally freed himself, took one look at me standing there like some kind of shadow-wreathed grim reaper, dropped his weapon, and bolted, which triggered the rest to try and do the same.
No shame in their game, they saw a demon made of living shadow casually tanking assault rifle fire, I’d run too.
That left four guards, the lieutenant, and a couple of loaders who were too scared to move.
The lieutenant pulled out a pistol – looked like a standard military sidearm – and started shouting what I assumed were threats. It could have been compliments about my armor's aesthetic choices for all I knew, but the tone suggested threats.
I started walking toward him.
Slow, deliberate, unstoppable, or so I hoped. The bullets from his pistol pinged off my armor like hail on a windshield, each impact absorbed harmlessly by the shadow.
The psychological effect was immediate and devastating. You could practically see his worldview crumbling in real time as he understood what a mook is to a superhero.
The lieutenant's pistol clicked empty.
In the sudden silence, I heard him whisper something in a disbelieving voice that I couldn’t make out, as a faraway thunder reached us again.
I stepped toward him, and he stumbled backward, fumbling for a spare magazine. His hands were shaking so badly that he dropped it twice.
He finally managed to reload his pistol, but when he tried to point it at me, his hands were shaking so badly he could barely hold it steady.
I tilted my head slightly – a gesture I'd practiced to maximize the "silent, judgmental death machine" vibe – and took another step forward.
Then, before he could react, I punched him in the face -gently-, and kept punching a few more times until he was just groaning and swearing, disoriented and not willing to resist.
And then it was just me, standing in the middle of a warehouse full of whatever they'd been loading into those trucks, surrounded by groaning criminals and feeling like maybe, just maybe, I was starting to get the hang of this whole superhero thing.
First massive real superhero fight? Nailed it.
The issue I constantly encountered in my previous heroics is that… I can’t call the cops. Nor could I talk with the criminals.
This city didn’t have many tourists, so giving away that I didn’t know Korean or speak English was a giveaway that I avoided from day one in my Shadow-Man persona.
I still did what I always did, that is, uncomfortably ignore the shaking, hysterical goons as I searched their pockets, as I stole their wallets and money, placing those in special compartments in my armour, near my belt.
When I did that, I inspected the crates. Weapons, as expected. Lots of AKs and ammo.
After checking that out, I simply bolted, ignoring whoever was left there.
I mean, what else can I do? I don’t carry handcuffs with me, and this time there was no witness to call the police themselves. No ropes either, and even if there were any, I have no idea how to tie a person up in a way that won’t allow him to wiggle out. I also really didn’t want to interact with the local law enforcement in any way, so sticking around, in case someone actually called the cops, wasn’t advisable. I avoided the cops so far, and I’ll keep avoiding them for now.
It’s not so bad, I think. Even just by showing up, beating those guys up, and robbing them, I was still making a name for myself. Maybe not the most heroic image, especially with me cleaning out their pockets, but I need the money, and besides, I am a Shadow-Man. Even though I prefer Spider-Man and his whole friendly neighborhood shtick over Batman’s Edge, I will never pull off the ‘friendly’ part with my abilities.
I look like a fucking sleep paralysis demon in my armour, so I may as well rock the look.
I traveled back to my ‘home’ via rooftops. With my armour on, I was more than fast and strong enough to leap ten or even twenty meters across the gaps between relatively low buildings here, and over the last weeks, I’ve gotten plenty of practice.
Finally, I got to my hideout.
It was an unfinished twelve-story commieblock building. I think it was supposed to have a night guard, but if so, no one paid the man, so he fucked off.
I lived on the sixth floor, in one of the ‘flats’ that lacked a door and windows, but had all the walls.
Did any homeless people live there? Maybe some junkies? Surprisingly, no. No idea why, though. There was literally no one loitering around, aside from school kids coming to the lower floors a few times after school.
The reason why I lived on the sixth floor was simple - the upper floors were surprisingly almost finished, they actually had both the outer and the inner walls. Each level of the building beyond the fourth floor had a door that led to a hallway connecting the flats, and each door was secured with a thick, rusty chain and a barn lock.
Basically, a perfect hideout for someone like me.
With practiced ease, I leaned from the unfinished staircase on the fifth floor, and jumped a solid ten meters, up and to the side, so I could grab the empty window that led to the hallway of the sixth floor.
As I got in, I mentally shifted my armour into a comfy sweater, sweatpants, scarf, and fluffy slippers.
Immediately, I zeroed in on ‘my’ flat. It lacked the door, obviously.
I walked past the empty lobby of bare concrete walls, past the small living room, which also looked like a concerned coffin with steel bars sticking out of the walls and the floor, and into the one bedroom I actually took for myself.
I walked up to the small corner full of small plastic bags, blankets, and some other useful junk, and dumped the loot from the shadow bag on my wrist in there.
I picked up the empty bowl. I concentrated, and with an effort of will I can’t quite explain, I forced it into action.
Instantly, the bowl was filled with delicious-smelling, steaming, creamy pasta.
“Carbonara today, huh?” I muttered to myself as I unpacked the plastic fork from the sealed pack nearby, “Truly the best superpower so far.”
I always loved pasta, and for someone as broke as me, having a bowl that made pasta on demand was fucking great. Especially considering that the pasta was pretty damn high quality.
I settled into my blanket nest with the pasta bowl balanced on my knees, scrolling through videos on my shitty stolen phone. The carbonara was perfect as always – creamy, rich, with just the right amount of pepper. Amazing what magic pasta could do for your mood after a successful night of superhero work.
And I started doing what I did every day when I came back from my patrols, mindlessly distressing by watching a local analogue of YouTube. Mostly the cat videos.
I was about to click on another video of some local streamer drama. When the screen flickered once, twice, then went completely black. I pressed the power button. Nothing.
"Great," I muttered, setting down my bowl. "Piece of shit finally died on me."
Or maybe it didn’t. Gotta check if it turns on if I charge it tomorrow…
That's when the world exploded.
Everything went white, and my ears felt like they'd been hit with a sledgehammer. I couldn't see, couldn't hear anything except this horrible ringing sound that seemed to come from inside my skull. My body wasn't responding right – I tried to move, but everything felt wrong and distant.
Something clattered. Maybe the bowl. Maybe me hitting the floor. I couldn't tell.
My vision was nothing but white spots and afterimages. I’d like to say that I called out to my power but… I didn’t. I didn’t even think of that. Too scared, too in pain, too disoriented.
Then something hit me in the neck, it felt hot like lava, and my whole body seized up. Every muscle locked at once. Electric. Had to be electric.
I think I passed out for a few seconds.
I was on the ground, twitching, and through the fog in my head, I could sense movement around me. Shapes. People. But everything was still white noise and confusion.
Someone grabbed my arm. I tried to fight back, but my body wouldn't obey. Something sharp pricked my neck.
The last thing I registered before everything went dark was a voice speaking English with an American accent, professional and calm: "Package secured. Moving to the extraction point."
Then nothing.
***
I woke up with one hell of a headache.
I was cold, I felt like shit, and the memory of yesterday, surprisingly, flooded me quite quickly.
No matter how shitty I felt, the sudden spike of adrenaline made me sit up abruptly, glancing around in alarm.
I was in a… box. Full stop. A metallic box with some dim, sterile lights, a wielded metallic gate, and nothing else in here.
My ass was frozen solid, too.
No wonder I felt cold, damn. My neck felt stiff and as I touched it…
Beep
What… is this a fucking dog collar? No, far too thick…
“Subject Eta 01, don’t make sudden movements,” A loud ass electronic voice rang out, making me jump in place and glance around wildly. I couldn’t see any dynamics. “Strapped to your neck is a high-yield explosive; don’t try anything.”
I don’t think I’ve ever felt terror quite so strong.
Carefully, I put my hands down, trying to ignore the suddenly very weighty color on my neck.
Mentally, I was panicking.
Can I protect myself with my armour? Well, if the explosion was outside, it would depend on how strong the explosion was! Honestly, knowing a bit about military hardware? I had my doubts I’d survive this color detonating even if it was strapped to my armour.
But seeing it was on my neck, I wasn’t even sure I could protect myself with my armour in time.
What else can I do… wait, I have the second ability! I can just turn things into rubber, it won’t explode then!
Immediately, I reached out to my other power and started to replace my armour with it…
“Subject Eta 01, follow my instructions.” The male electronic voice said again, making me slowly glance around, trying to pinpoint where it was coming from. It felt as if it came from everywhere around me at once. “Slowly stand up.”
After a brief moment of hesitation, I did as told, adrenaline flowing through my blood like coffee through a student’s a night before the deadline of a project.
“Good. Now, keep following my instructions. You will hear a loud sound. Look towards it when it happens.”
This was stupid, but when the loud buzz rang out from the left wall, I obediently turned towards it. Then it repeated, and so I turned to the other wall.
That happened a few times over.
Finally, I could feel the new ability slotted into place.
Despite myself, I grinned.
“Hey, microphone man, how about you turn towards deez nuts in your mouth?!” I shouted as I turned my thick metallic colour into a rubber band and immediately pulled on it, trying to free my head.
Immediately, the siren started to blare.
“Pussy!” I laughed, feeling almost high, as I threw the color aside.
Okay, now I…
The adrenaline high and the hyper-fixation of freeing myself from the colour retreated, allowing me to actually think a step further now.
Dread. Pure dread.
Fuck. Fuck. FUCK! What do I do now?! The alarm is blaring, and it will take me another five whole minutes to get my shadow armour back!
Panicking, I run to the nearest wall and put both of my hands on it.
Come on, come on, come on…
Slowly, the metal started turning white and was acquiring a familiar, rough texture. I was turning it into styrofoam!
Once a big enough part of the wall was transformed, I took a few steps back, jumped a couple of times, hyping myself up. Okay, I am a superhero, the Dark Fuckign Knight, escaping CIA black sites is my second name! I can do this! Come on!
“Let's fucking GOOOOOO!”
I screamed as I sprinted towards the styrofoam wall.
Impact, and, expectedly, I managed to punch myself right through the wall before it turned back into metal!
At least my head and upper torso punched through!
My legs decidedly didn’t make it through. And the wall turned back into metal. In which I was now stuck.
I blinked back the disorientation, looking up, only to see four rifles pointed towards my head.
“Ah… nice evening we are having here today gentlemeAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”
And then I got tased again. I think I passed out pretty much instantly.
***
I woke up again with a headache.
I tried moving my hands… and couldn’t.
I glanced down, and there is a collar on my neck. I glance to the left, my hand was there, encased in metal and… with something that looked like a C4 charge attached to it.
I looked right, yep, same.
Did I get fucking crucified?
“Rise and shine, guinea pig.”
-----
Okay, so I’ve seen a lot of Chaos Gacha lately, and even some of my friends were rolling it for fun. So I did so for a bit, too.
I had some ideas how to write Chaso Gacha in a fun way, but I didn’t know a setting for it.
My dumbass friend, however, did. So, I am not very familiar with Honkai. He is a bit of a nerd about it.
So, I am writing this under his instructions, watching lore videos as I go, and being corrected by his higher authority on the lore issue. The idea? I am going into it almost blind, just like the MC.
This is, however, the Previous Era.
MC got the first five rolls randomly. The first one was the spaghetti. I knew it was fate; he had to be the MC who would constantly have spaghetti falling out of his pockets. That doesn’t mean the world won’t react to him occasionally acting like a retard.
I shit you not, his knight-lancelot package is pure random. I am yet to re-roll once. I can’t make this shit up.
The build will mostly be determined by luck, but I can veto rolls and re-roll if I feel the rolls are stupid or break things. Otherwise, it’s all just one, continuous, unplanned journey.
I don’t know where this will go. Maybe MC will die. Maybe not. But he is a dumb ass, and maybe he will get character growth.
That being said, MC is the type who will shit out offensive jokes with no filter in his POV. Because I think it’s funny.
Comments
Aidan O'Donnell
Love the first chapter. although A bit confusing on how stupid the main character can be not worrying about being tracked home.
Baron of Awesome
Here I was getting ready for a superhero romp, and then you blindside me with the mc get clapped by a surprise attack like a dumbass and then getting stuck in a wall. A WALL! What? Can someone even be that stupid? Not just dumb but unlucky too? Please tell me this isn’t going to be suffering p**n. Cause that would suck.
Wiererid
That's because the cheap racial jokes towards literally everybody around is kinda funny to me personally, especially with MC being a dumbass for whom it seems in character. It's honestly a preference thing. Someone could get offended, and I understand, but honestly it's not personal and mostly just recycled old stereotypes.
BBTR
The fight and action is solid, and feels full of stuff happening without it being too much. The Asian country commentary it could do without. Like, the squinting jokes and shit lmao, like what? Racial jokes on appearance? Not even behavioral stereotypes? Low hanging fruit. The way the gacha is described is really neat actually. I like that you kept it a bit vague and mysterious as opposed to spelling everything out too explicitly. Mystique can be important ya know?
