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~SFW: What Do You Do?~
🕑 Added 2025-06-16 01:46:13 +0000 UTC
Sometimes in the throws of desperation to create, you make something that is deeply personal, and while I try to keep it positive a lot of the time here, I have hopes that this audio will help someone out there. Please, take care of yourselves, and remember, anything you make is worth it, because you were the one who made it, and you will find joy in creation again.
~Audio Transcript Below~
What do you do?
When it feels like every ounce of creativity has been siphoned from your core?
What do you do?
When the good days are spent producing at the fraction of what you once did.....and the bad leave you with nothing but the guilt rotting away at your core.
You try to do everything right. You rest, you read, you watch, you play, you spend time with your loved ones, grasping for anything that could light that creative spark in you once again. For months, for years you do this, and still, even though the conditions seem perfect, there is little to nothing.
Well....there's fear......
Fear that you're broken.....and you have no one to blame but yourself......because you chose this......you chose this life.....and you were the one who drove it into the ground......
Sure, you didn't know any better.....didn't even understand the concept of burnout until you were already deeply within the throws of it. You were afraid that if you didn't keep up at the pace that you were, that people weren't going to think that you were worth their time....worth their money....that you would fall behind and then be forgotten.....and then where would that leave you? So you work yourself to the bone.....
But you enjoy it.....you're filled with so much passion and love......
And then like Icarus reaching desperately for the sun......you burn up.
And you have no one to blame but yourself......
You can't push creativity, but when it's your livelihood.......it can be the difference between life and well......
And yet the people are so kind......staying in your corner and encouraging you.....seeing something in you that you don't know if you have anymore.......
It almost feels worse......like you're going to let them down......
So you sit, blank canvas before you......and worry yourself into inaction......and then the guilt eats away at you more and more......and the vicious cycle continues......
And how do you explain that to others? That every atom in your body screams with the need to create.....but there's this invisible force that prevents you from doing what you love.....from doing the thing you know with every fiber of your being that you were meant to do?
What do you do?
When fear and anguish rage and roil in your stomach at the idea of letting people down.....of letting yourself down.....
Of being unable to move forward, of feeling like you'll never be able to make anything again.....
When you have enough negative experiences when it comes to trying with all your might to just create something, that you develop a genuine fear of trying.....
Because even though the inaction eats away at you little by little.....it's better than the idea of failing over and over, and having the realization that you've broken yourself beyond repair......because that.....would just end you completely.
So what do you do?
Well....the answer, strangely enough.....is that you make something......even if it's a single word, a single brush stroke, a single stitch......you make something.....
Even if you think that it's not going to be something that the people like......even if you think it's not going to be something that you like.....you make something......and you finish it.....
Because despite the fact that all of us creatives are unfortunately perfectionists......you can't just sit in limbo forever......you can't just stew in guilt and fear worrying about whether or not what you make is 'worth it'....even if that thing never sees the light of day beyond your own eyes.
So what do you do?
You stop caring about whether something is good......and just.....make......
Something that speaks to you......however that may be.....something that sparks you.....however small that spark may be......
It's not easy--by God is it not easy--to ignore the voices that tell you it isn't worth it.....that you and what you create don't matter.......and yes, there will still be fear.....there will still be anguish.......but there is also....hope.....
Little by little.....one step at a time......you will find joy in creation again.......
Even darkness must pass......
Every time you create.......be it that one word, that one note, that once stitch, it's one more thing that wasn't in the world before.....and you did that.
You did that.......
And whether you share it, or keep it to yourself......no one can create exactly the same way that you do......and everything that you make with your own two hands, however that might be.....has a piece of you in it......and there is worth in that......
So what do you do?
You write a script.......you pour your heart out.....you cry in a recording booth.....all in the hopes that what comes out of it will not only help yourself.....but those who might be in the exact same boat as you......
Because despite everything you're not alone.....you're not alone......
And this is worth fighting for.....
it's worth fighting for.
Comments
Annabel
Oh yeah, I feel the same way at times. I don’t even have to deal with people, but I do have to create music at my music school and the teachers would be like make something that your brain and your imagination get to work. and I would be like but right now. My imagination is empty and I would hit writers block. Give it a week or two and I would probably come back with something eventually.
Lethallin (AJ)
Oh gosh, this hit hard. That burnout and that fear is the reason I stopped drawing and left fandom a few years ago—but I also found that spark again recently, so I deeply, deeply relate to this. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing this. It brought a lot of comfort to have all of those feelings put into words.
