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🕑 Added 2022-11-06 14:11:35 +0000 UTCIt's No Nut November and you, like many of your online peers, pledged not to beat yo' meat until the end of the month. It's way harder than you thought. It's only been three days and already you're going crazy. To distract yourself, you went out with some friends who, to put it lightly, don't have the best... reputation. One thing led to another and you found yourself last to run from the scene of a break in at a shoe store in the middle of the night. Your "friends" were quick to take off when the alarm started to sound, but you - not so much. Finally, you gave your head a shake. What the hell are you doing?!
You ran and ran, hoping that you had just enough of a head start from the police officers whose cruisers you could hear screaming around the corner just a few blocks away. Through a poorly lit tunnel, out and down the footpath of a well maintained park, sweating and swearing as you climbed 10 or 12 feet up and over a bunch of ill-lit landscaping rocks separating one level of the park from the other, and finally... directly into the spotlight affixed to the 2020 dodge charger police cruiser parked facing in your direction.
The officer saunters toward you, taser drawn, warning you to keep your hands visible and to stay still. Your heart pounds, threatening to rip out of your chest, one of those guys had a knife you remember, god hopefully she doesn't think you're the armed one...
You begin to try and explain, "It was them, the people I was with, I didn't want to-" but she cuts you off. Your heart skips a beat and resumes its assault on your ribcage. "Are you fucking kidding me!?" She belts at you. You recognize that voice... You're not going to be arrested... But you're definitely fucked.
It was just a couple of hours ago that you walked in on that very officer getting ready for work...
(Artwork by @Smile2007h on Twitter!)
