skajrzombie
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Really long, but really important update… please read.
🕑 Added 2023-04-13 23:09:22 +0000 UTCOk, I know (or feel) I can be a pain in the ass with all my recent problems, but I wanted to explain my current situation to everyone.
Alright… here I go.
I am facing the worst case of anxiety and paranoia that I have had in my entire life.
Ever since that extortion call and threat that I received a month ago I have not been able to feel safe almost anywhere. Luckily I have some really good friends and family who are being really supportive right now, I am so glad to have them but at the same time I feel ashamed (?) Kinda? Idk, I feel that I don’t want to fed them up with my problems, yet, I still seek for their help.
I talked with several people about what happened to me and everyone tells me that I shouldn’t worry to much about that call, after all that’s how they operate, they do some random calls and see if anyone takes “the bait”… I kinda did… and I know that THAT is how they operate, I get it! They caught me by surprise! Yet I don’t feel well! More so that my stomach problems have returned, all because of the stress.
Some days I don’t sleep enough and some other days I do, but I still feel exhausted from overthinking everything, of having constant negative thoughts, thoughts of persecution, part of me feels as if I’m being monitored over my cellphone, since that’s where they called me… heck I don’t even feel good when answering a random call or message!
It even got to the point that my family talked to me about seeking therapy, which I wasn’t against to, but, get this from my perspective, MY FAMILY, who used to be “old school” and overlook psychological therapy as an option… told me to do that! That was, in a way… kind off stress inducing (just a lil bit) and awesome at the same time!
So… I did that and took the therapy and got diagnosed with actual PTSD. Yup. I’m UP there 🫠
So now, I have to take 2 therapies, a psychological one and a psychiatrical one. As I said, I’M. UP. THERE.
This worries me a bit, not because I will possibly have to take antidepressants or other meds… it worries me because I don’t have the money to pay for both the sessions and the medicines + the medicines for my gastric issues and the life basic expenses…
And what’s worse, is that I have been stuck with ONE SINGLE PICTURE for an entire week, it’s the last pic of the month, the sfw FANART OF THE MONTH of March, MARCH, we are in APRIL! and I can’t get this pic finished because I am either, looking for help, getting distracted doing god knows what, feeling bad, overthinking stuff or sleeping from being tired because of my anxiety…
Sorry about this last part, I really needed to let it out.
I just want to ask you for some patience, I’ll try my best to get back to posting some goods as soon as I have any! Who knows, maybe after this I’ll be able to pump one pic or something!
I also want to ask you for forgiveness, given how my time and everything is… I don’t think I’ll be able to do both of the fanarts of the month, I still have commissions pending to do and almost no money, so I might be opening some emergency commissions soon (but will try to finish the other ones 1st). 🙏
Sorry if my punctuation or sentences are a mess, I should practice my writing more often.
Before I end this, let me congratulate you for reading through all of this, srsly! Thank you so much!
Please stay tuned for when I upload internet some goods over here!
P.S. I don’t feel like leaving this in public (for now) so this is just for all of you who support me here and over substar.
