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Author’s Note – Season 3 Arc 6 – Stargazer
🕑 Added 2021-06-18 18:44:31 +0000 UTCThis arc ended up barely shorter than the last one… Why… why does this keep happening? Is this the end result of my inability to estimate story segments? My desire to include more subplots? To write more about spanked asses?!
HELLO!
610’000 words, 993 pages, that’s the rough length of this arc. That’s a mere 18’000 words and 8 pages less than Flow Riding, the previous arc. I wonder if I can get back to shorter, more focused arcs…
Before we get to my regrets, what I was happy with and my general thoughts, let me take a moment do the usual:
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Alright, shilling done, let’s start with my regrets. As is typical, the scenes I’ve been imagining for years aren’t written quite as well as I would have liked.
In detail, this time around I am talking about Rave’s quarter fusion with Copernicus and the Celestial Devourer burning out the Death Zone. Both were scenes that came into being, as concepts at least, about… I want to say 2-3 years ago, when I first sketched out the entirety of the story from beginning to end. Both were not exactly the same in their initial iteration. In the original fusion scene, Rave and Copernicus were supposed to do the standard fusion. I didn’t pull through with that for a couple of reasons. Least of which, funnily enough, was Copernicus dying would have been pretty sad. I know I shy away from hard consequences a lot, but I would have done it here if I thought it would have served the story best.
I did come to the conclusion it wouldn’t though. Rave is pretty awesome. I don’t mean that in the “I like her character a lot” sense, but that she does a lot of awesome stuff when she puts her mind to it. That’s what her character is meant to be able to do. I feel like I wouldn’t do justice to her if she didn’t pull off what should be impossible every now and again. Because I still want things to be somewhat grounded, such things can’t come easy or be a constant, though. Although ultimately with a positive angle, I am telling a story of strife, not a simple power fantasy. That’s also why I couldn’t just do the quarter fusion without providing some explanations for it, even if nothing is ultimately confirmed.
The Celestial Devourer scene’s changes were a lot smaller. It was meant to be part of the final fight of this season, but I decided other things would be better and that the complete unleashing of Stirwin’s potential should be an event that ends a fight with utter certainty, not one that merely transitioned it to another phase.
My problems with both scenes are primarily about the splendour of things. I am a person with quite a vivid visual imagination and the scenes I came up with confined to the simplicity of words just didn’t translate as well as I hoped. The image of a cosmic crocodile standing amidst a ruined city, burning away the rot with his mere presence, is difficult to relay in all of its details.
Expecting everything in your head to live up to the same level of hype once it’s on the page is somewhat utopian thinking, though, so I can’t say I’m overly bothered. My unhappiness with this and my fight scenes are a constant. The important thing here is that I only strive to be better. I’m not letting it haunt me.
Those two specific complaints aside, the thing I definitely failed on this arc was Enki.
His fight was a bit disappointing, but that’s not even what I mean. The problem with the fight was that John was too competent to make it a prolonged affair in which Enki ever seemed like a massive threat. From a theme’s perspective, I would have liked for the god of stars to have more oomph than the Lorylim amalgams. From a character perspective, John would have prepared for this, and with the tools he has, he would have prepared really well. Because I prioritize, practically always, the consistency of my characters and my world over what might be thematically satisfying, Enki came out looking like a bit of a pushover. The sad consequence of having a hyper-competent main character. The worst enemy of John is the unknown. Having shown that with the desperate situation on the ground of the Death Zone is, in a lot of ways, a satisfying substitute for having the god be challenging.
Anyway, what I really mean is that I didn’t set Enki up properly. I should have done more of the dream sequences, scattered throughout the arc. The reason I didn’t was that I kept adding more and more subplots, so I kept thinking that I shouldn’t add a dream scene, because I might place the reveal too early.
The cure to this would be to write more definitive outlines and not deviate from them. The problem with that cure is that I rather like the ‘Slice of Life’ segments and spontaneous detours. Because I am not willing to make the trade, Enki’s set-up was way worse than it could have been. The final boss of the arc deserved better and I could have done better, even while doing my detours. This is something I must improve, if I ever do something similar again in the future. Which I most likely will, at least in another story of mine, given that it’s a fairly common and effective trope.
Alright, the definitive regrets out, let’s talk about a number of things that happened in the arc – chronologically to jog everyone’s memory a bit.
The arc started with the first session of the House of Commons, which set the trend of how I do the politics of the story. I hope you like that style, the specialized chapters of showing the current problems of Fusion and John debating the solutions. I personally am very happy with those chapters, so I will continue in their likeness.
From there went quite a few minor to medium events. Nia became the fourth general of Fusion, something I didn’t plan but that just made sense. The Guild Hall upgraded to Tier 4 and I finally made a really nice map for it (the Tier 5 one will be even nicer, I promise). Following from that came the Elemental Troubles, with the upgrade of the Elemental Islands causing a bit of a fuzz, ending with John’s elementals getting their own responsibilities on the islands.
I’ll put a pin here for a moment to say that this is a goal I have for the story: to give all of the girls some kind of responsibility. They are incredibly powerful and wealthy at this point. Aside from me believing that just sitting around playing videogames and fucking every day – forever – will make even the most dedicated of waifus miserable, it just seems as a good character-building exercise to see how much and what kind of responsibility each of them is willing to bear. Some of them don’t care to do much for the public good (Eliza), others want to do whatever they can, whatever that is (Rave), and yet others do things out of necessity (Aclysia). How and why this changes strikes me as a noteworthy aspect of their lives.
Moving on from there, we have John’s date with Sylph. There were some minor things established about the growing economy of the Hudson Barrier, but most importantly the date ended Marie’s potential haremette status.
Then there was some more politicking, the Horned Rat meeting with the Florida leadership, and then the Valley of Thunder and Stone Raid.
My reflections on that Raid are as follows: It was really, really good. Like always, I am not completely happy with the fight scenes, but the overall progress of the Raid was pretty well constructed, if I may say so myself. More importantly, the pacing was on point. It is not often that chapters end exactly where and how I want them to. Because I refuse to publish chapters that have fewer than 2000 words, I often end up continuing a scene past its best cliffhanger point. Wasn’t the case with the almost wipe at 1% of the triple boss kill. Suspense worked really nicely, set-ups and pay-off of individual sacrifices worked, everyone did their part, strategies were executed with understandable flaws – it was just a microcosm of my writing when it’s at its best.
Also, it ended with Salamander evolving to have a massive rack.
Now, I am still a person who prefers medium boobs, and I’d rather have a flat girl than one with balloon tits, but I cannot deny the allure of huge bazongas, and variety is the spice of life anyway. Salamander is right on the very edge of what I can like size-wise, and that’s what makes them so nice. I’ve also developed more of a liking for boob jobs over the years, so that probably has something to do with it.
Moving on, some other stuff happened and then there was the second iteration of Guys’ Night Out, this time including Ted. The quiet general wasn’t that well received by the community. In the sense that nobody really cared about him, not that anybody was bothered by his presence. I don’t really have anything to say about that, it’s just an observation. I do plan to keep the core cast of John’s guy friends to Max (obviously) and Magnus (they need the older, serious guy).
Many people seem to be at least happy with Magnus, but Max definitely has a lot of fans. Their banter is pretty good though. If I may say so myself, again.
I’ll have definitive data on all of this if you bother to take the survey at the end of this whole Author’s Note :P
Following that little sub-arc, we have the Love and Statecraft segment. That is, if you need the reminder, Lydia’s birthday, where they ascend a tower Romulus built and that ends with the reveal of Strimata (and a car sex scene that I am personally pretty proud of).
Not much to say about any of that, except Strimata. The fusionals (yes, I am aware of the contention with the name) weapons were coming sooner or later. I had no set order in mind, but I did know the aesthetic I wanted and I am pleased with that much. I will eventually commission art for it, Rex Magnar, and other notable weapons. Just a matter of time and money.
Lydia’s Side Story was also around then. It was a nice series of events, some world building, some character diving, nothing extremely exciting. Absolutely nothing. Not like the Horned Rat revealed himself to have infiltrated really far up into Romulus’ ranks or anything.
A bunch of minor events followed that. Albeit brief in terms of chapters dedicated to it, the meeting with Dramar was incredibly important. I’m not just saying that to segue into plugging the Patreon of my main proofreader and namesake of the leader of the Abyss Auction either: https://www.patreon.com/DraMr
Then there was the crushing of the remaining small-time guilds on the East Coast, the first use of the Lover Boy Overclock, going on an adventure with Stirwin and Velka, the forging of Rex Magnar, and with that we arrive at the Gestalt affair.
Which, while it was pretty important, I also don’t have a lot to say about. I liked the exercise using horror story language and showing what the Lorylim can do when they are given opportunities. Essentially, the segment did what it was supposed to, but it wasn’t all that great either.
The Big Class Grind is noteworthy primarily because it FINALLY brought me to a point where I was happy with John’s arcane spells. I’ve struggled for an eternity to give him an AoE spell that was balanced. Historically, all my attempts to design such a thing ended with John just using Salamander for AoE instead and only supplying focus fire with Arc Lance or its predecessors. Unstable Arcana combined with Mana Chains is both powerful but also worse at single target damage in short or long range, for which John would have Arcana Ray and Arc Lance, making his kit nice and balanced all around.
There were also a load of other Perks that made his kit more reliable without his elementals, so that was nice.
Among Us.
Siena evolved, giving her black hair and some other visual tweaks. Why did I do the hair colour change? I really like black hair. There is an element here of me trying to get away from having characters resemble already established ones (Siena is very much inspired by League of Legend’s Evelynn), but I wouldn’t do it for that reason alone.
Then we have another stretch of minor events. John acquires better Corruption Resistance, then he releases the information about his corruption and Scarlett’s true identity, then the small guilds west of Fusion decide to join up, there is the ball with the song, which also let John finally reach Elementalist 9, there is the interview with Cindy and Worlina, and then they make their way to New Libraria, where they fight the Golden Rose and, ultimately, lose because of Rave.
Not her strongest display, but the chain of events all made sense, so I am, as the writer, satisfied. I like to show the difference between Moira and her dad and how the Golden Rose operated as an army.
And then Lee was introduced.
I must admit here that I made a big mistake. See, Lee was NOT supposed to be a haremette. She was already established, from her short mention in the Scarlett Thorne arc, to be a gamer girl and attractive. Because my characters sometimes run away with their own will, she then established herself as direct and sassy. All of which are character traits John speaks really well too.
By the end of her introduction chapter, I already knew this was a lost cause, so I edited some details to make her interest clear from the start and that whole subplot went underway.
I really hope this won’t happen again. The harem is already so large T.T
Then Max starts learning water magic, Copernicus reaches the next Tier, the demons arrive in the Hudson Barrier, John goes camping with Aclysia, and then we go into the Vacation Week.
The most important part of the Vacation Week was Lee getting closer to the harem. To John as well, yes, which were some of the most enjoyable banter chapters I have written in a while (the dynamic was certainly unique, as that was before he got the okay from Magoi), but she really focused on the harem. That I could conceive Lee going with the approach of getting to know all of the other girls before trying to join them was a pretty big reason why she succeeded and Marie didn’t. The story makes that point well enough, so I won’t regurgitate it here.
Swapping back and forth between John and Lee was pretty interesting. I’ve made it clear in the past that I don’t like doing POV switches in this story. I’ve loosened somewhat on this in the later half of this arc and I am decisively not going to continue that trend. There’s enough side-stuff happening without me switching around perspectives. I did it here because I wanted to show the thought process of a girl joining John’s harem, fully informed on what that entails. I told that story now. I’ll keep my POV switches to important action sequences.
John’s talks to Magnus and Magoi were both satisfying to me, so nothing to say in that regard.
Same for the nerf, really. I know a lot of people despise it when John gets weaker or loses. As long as it makes sense, I will do it, remains my stance here.
Now, the third Raid, the Twisted City of Ohmior. This Raid is brought to you by Raid Shado- Alright, I am just messing with you. It’s brought to you by my dreams. The design of the city was something I wandered through in a lucid dream I had. The bosses I had to think of myself, except for those in the next section of the Raid. We’ll get to that in the next arc, probably.
As for what already happened in the Raid, I am pretty happy with it. The Valley of Stone and Thunder was better all around, but the bosses fought so far were just the start and didn’t employ as much cheese. The fights were also written more as a tactics breakdown than proper action scenes, which has its drawbacks and advantages. It’s less exciting, for certain, but it’s also a lot quicker and informative. Definitely works better for Raid bosses that I don’t want to spend an entire segment on.
Chapter 999, a very important one, because it started the transformation of the maids into dragon maids. Same as with Siena, we have two reasons for this happening: one, I thought it was hot, and it is, and, two, because I want to get away from the A2 and 2B looks. This particular transformation also has the advantage of making a lot of sense and letting me work towards something with those two for the medium-term future.
Let’s just say the transformation cannot be called complete before they get something to hold onto while they serve.
Chapter 1000, the Lee date. It was a pretty standard and pretty personal date that consolidated their chemistry outside their interesting banter dynamic and ended with a nice chase. I, personally, wanted to write a much bigger sex scene there, but I couldn’t justify her staying awake for all of what I would like to do. John’s dick is way too powerful at this point and having Lee be able to just take it would belittle that fact.
From there, with breakneck speed, we go right into the Death Zone.
I struggled with the question whether or not I should do some events in between, I like it when things have their ups and downs. The Death Zone rolling right on into John’s schedule worked a lot better by my estimation.
Since you read the events of the Death Zone recently (or just now if you read this after all has been originally released), I won’t refresh your memory on it. As it stands, I am happy with the beats of it. The mounting pressure, chapter by chapter diminishing John’s hope and group size, until it’s only him and Nia, watched by Thana, with Rave bursting in to turn the tide and lead them to safety. Aside from the initially mentioned problems I have with the execution, I am only unhappy with the quickfire way I disposed of the familiars.
The way I did that was born out of pacing issues. Because the previous chapter ended with Rave hurrying over, I had already implanted the expectation that she would save him. Because I, as a reader, would just skip right on over all of the misery of the characters I like dying one after the other, knowing that help is definitely on the way and, narratively, John won’t save himself here, I decided to just spare everyone the trouble. For that set of scenes to induce proper despair, it had to look like there was no help coming. So the problem was the structure, not the way of exposition, but the end result is the same. It’s a fairly minor issue, all things considered.
And then we have the final set of reveals or, rather, confirmations. Enki, Tiamat, the Metracanas, the selective memory going on, the fight, John exploiting his mechanics, it’s all pretty straightforward and I don’t think I have to say anything more about it. Some may have wanted to see the side fight against the Metracanas, but I couldn’t see that being enough content for a chapter. There was no conversation to be had, because of the memory editing, and no great emotional conflict either. Metra has no remorse about beating up the younger Metracanas. The developments are something she has to digest, not something that inhibits her combat abilities. That would have been the only interesting angle of that fight, Metra hesitating to fight her kin, and that wouldn’t have worked. Power wise, John’s girls were just superior on every level. The three of them slapping the Metracanas around for 2500 words seemed like an unnecessary distraction from the dragon in the room.
The Sigmund appearance just made sense and, together with the earlier Jeremiah appearance, furthers and ends those two threads.
And as the last chapter announces, Nathalia is coming back. Hurray!
Alright, before I get to the future, let’s talk a bit about data. First things first, if you want to give me your input in a structured fashion, please take the survey right here:
The data is genuinely useful. Minor thing, but I wouldn’t have pulled through with actually adding Lee if I hadn’t seen that the “more people for the harem” question was trending back towards the positive. Then there was the question who gets the next couple of sex scenes and what’s included. I also like to see what has and hasn’t worked according to public perception and waifu popularity polls are always cool so… please take the survey.
Now for data from my side, we have some more graphs. First off, have a couple of charts related to story length.
And then a rough popularity breakdown.
Keep in mind that the Like data is of the day of me writing this, so the last ~30 chapters of the arc won’t be included in the statistics.
And just to show what kind of stupid stuff I keep tabs on.
And that’s enough of the data, so let’s get to the teasing!
Next arc will be all about going back to things. Nathalia comes back, maybe she won’t be the only one? Perhaps there are places in John’s pasts he has to visit to deal with current affairs? Things are in motion and Fusion is in a position, geographically and politically, to be pulled into all of it.
Season 3, Years of Freedom, of the Funatic branch of the Gamer, CHYOA Edition, will continue in about two weeks with Arc 7, titled ‘Back in Black’. For the 10$ Patrons that would be Monday the 5th.
Hope to see you all there!
Comments
OldCeleron
I want momo back, let's gooooo
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