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Feedback Form S3 A8 Segment 5 – Lorelei joins the Harem
🕑 Added 2022-06-30 22:17:57 +0000 UTC
Some slight surge around “Slightly Agree”, which seems about accurate for what I expected. Lorelei was worked on for a while and when it finally happened, it happened fast. The thing is, I had slower plans, but it made the most sense that way. Once Lorelei was sure he was the one, she was going all the way.
This result does please me. I like to use this story to give a lot of different worldviews a chance to be reflected on. While the various different backstories and temperaments of the haremettes does give me chances to challenge John’s first assumptions in the ways of varying political philosophies, a proper spiritual angle has been largely missing so far. For the most part, my readers seem interested in seeing her provide this.
This result is a lot most weighed towards “Complete Agreement” than the Claire one. I can think of several reasons for this.
First and most obvious: Lorelei had more time to be established. There’s less open questions about her character and she had a good number of scenes about her personal philosophy in life.
Second: Lorelei is very traditionally feminine. She’s soft spoken, wears elegant dresses, reacts intimately to compliments, puts high value in loyalty, and so on. This especially valuable in a harem that’s, due to my own preferences, dominated by the sassy, the bratty, the tomboy, and the playful.
Third: Lorelei is an intense submissive and those do well around here. It’s also the manner in which she conducts herself sexually. The majority of my reader base is, presumably, male (I should actually get a poll on this, would be interesting). Men do like women that are slutty… but only with them. That’s pretty much what Lorelei is.
So, she’s well-established, fairly unique, and plays to common sexual preferences. Her being highly liked is largely unsurprising.
Mostly a question of whether or not the limitation was well-explained and followed from what one would expect from a seer. The answer here leaning so strongly towards “Agree” means I am good here.
To the comments
Question: Any further thoughts on this gal?
Comment 1: I hope she gets more active outside of just 'being around to fuck and see stuff' all the other girls have their passion projects, jobs, hobbies and responsibilities, I'd like to see Lorelei in 'business mode' I guess. Her doing good for fusion as a whole now that her loyalty is tied to it through the order. Her powers are limiting obviously, but when has an obstacle ever impeded you Fun?
Response 1: First, yes, she will pick up her own passion projects and responsibilities. One of my goals for this story is to have each girl have some responsibilities and things to do outside the harem. Even if this story is focused on John almost entirely, I do not want his women to, as so many harem stories have it be done, live only for him. That’s a character trait mostly limited to Aclysia, extending somewhat to Beatrice, and probably manifesting in Claire, but I want that to be a trait, not a universal. Even those three have/will have their own projects at the side.
Secondly, not quite sure with what you mean with “her powers are limiting”. I assume that you mean that I cannot use certain plot points in surprising ways, because she’d be able to sense them in advance. At this point in the story, I’m fine with that just being a thing. The number of obstacles John really has are few enough that I can justify giving them ways to confuse a seer when it comes to it.
Comment 2: Overall really good gal. But her power to be a cheatcode for Raids feels a bit to strong. My favorite part of RPGs is always experimenting and finding out what strategies to use. I was never a fan from just reading the online guide on whats the ideal strategy
Response 2: I would not call it strong, but I do see where you’re coming from. Maybe I’ll introduce a mechanic where John gets a bigger reward at the end of the Raid depending on how many bosses he beat without guidances. Just to incentivize going in blind and making it a choice between speed and bonus loot.
Comment 3: Include her in more multi person lewds, I feel like her character similar to Lee lends itself well to these environments as a less bdsm focused cuddly lewd girl. Also her plus moimoi and rave. Please make it happen
Response 3: Can do the former. Will not do the latter, almost certainly. I do have to correct the middle though: Lorelei is very BDSM focused.
