Douglas Miller
patreon
MiP Update
🕑 Added 2025-01-03 20:47:17 +0000 UTCI'm sorry for the unplanned hiatus, and for the total lack of communication about it. Some of what has been happening was out of my control, but I absolutely should have posted to inform people, and that's 100% on me. I'm sorry, and I will try to post about such things more promptly, and without waiting for when I can finally also post a chapter.
What happened:
As I have posted about before, I have ADHD, and I am sensitive to the differences between manufacturers of Adderall. Well, Adderall from the specific manufacturer I need went out of stock, everywhere nearby, with no ETA on when they would have more. Every pharmacy I found that usually carries that manufacturer told me that their supplier was out of stock with no ETA for new stock, and that every other pharmacy that uses that supplier (it's a really big major pharmaceutical supply company) is probably stuck in the same situation.
I ran out of Adderall a bit over a month ago. I just now got off the phone with a pharmacy, and they still have no ETA for when they'll have it again.
My ADHD is severe enough that in the past it got me fired from 2 jobs for poor performance despite my best efforts at focusing without treatment, and the only reason it didn't cost me job #3 was that I finally admitted that I needed treatment, went to a psychiatrist, and started taking Adderall. This made such an enormous difference that my boss at the time directly and specifically commented about the improvement to me within a single week of when I started, even though I hadn't told him anything about it.
Being consistently and reliably productive without some kind of help is all-but impossible for me, and Adderall is the only general-purpose form of such help that I've found to work adequately for me before. Progress on chapter 27 this past month, with no Adderall, was slow, difficult, and intermittent.
Going forward:
I finally got fed up with the supply situation enough to look for potential alternatives I hadn't tried before, and I've recently started trying a new one. Its immediate impact is not as major and obvious as Adderall, but I believe it is making a significant difference already, and it supposedly gets more effective over time as I continue taking it. A large majority of chapter 27, which is now finished, was written after I started taking this new alternative.
I'm hopeful that my new ADHD treatment will prove effective enough to enable me to return to at-least-weekly chapters now, especially if its promised ramp-up of effectiveness proves true. If not, I will try another one, as many times as it takes to find something effective that I can actually rely on without major risk of it running out of stock.
I'm posting chapter 27 to gold and above, with the accompanying chapter unlocks/posts for lower tiers and the public, rather than using it to build up platinum tier's lead, because of the extreme delay.
Now, time to see if I can write chapter 28 in only a single week with this non-Adderall treatment.
Comments
Resolute
Oof, as a fellow writer with ADHD *and* depression, I absolutely feel every bit of this pain. The world is just not built for us. I hope you're able to find what works for you.
Jouni Osmala
Few tricks that have helped with my ADHD in very short term bursts during and after doing them. 1) Heat shock proteins. Released in either in sauna or in really cold temperatures. 2) Exercise and walking. Basically when designing something taking a walk to think about it clarifies the thought so that I can write it down after the walk. Same way for the sauna, taking a sauna to think about specific topic has helped me. And cold exposure gives a nice dopamine release and increase after it, it literally wakes up the brain just like sauna does.
viperfan7
As someone with ADHD, vyvanse + Wellbutrin has been pretty great so far, I don't think I've tried straight Adderall. But there's another possible option but... extreme. Desoxyn. It's just straight up meth
Nori Lamphere
Take care of yourself first. We aren't going anywhere.
Jade Felicity Bilkey
Thank you for your courageous post. I know how demoralizing and crushing it can feel when you're suddenly incapable of living up to a responsibility due to ADHD meds. Especially when you've had the same issue in the past, communicating the issue repeatedly can be extremely anxiety inducing, at least for me. Explaining it can feel like a huge risk because people who have no frame of reference, no matter how well-meaning, could quickly turn on you and interpret it as a hollow excuse at best and a lie at worst. So thanks for this post. I hope the comments have been encouraging for you. I am a bit concerned (for you) that these explanation posts seem to be escalating in length and seriousness. I know people joke about ADHD explanations spiralling out of control, but I hope you can feel confident enough in your "truth" (for lack of a better word) to state things plainly in the future. The length of the explanation doesn't equal sincerity. People will either understand or not. You should feel like "Meds issues. On pause" is enough.
Craig Hannah
First and foremost, keep yourself healthy and happy. Thank you for sharing, and I truly wish I had worthwhile advice to send your way.
Kef
Welcome back
Isaac Boyles
I'm glad to see someone else with the same issues managing to write though, even with the struggles you're having. It gives me hope for my neglected projects
Isaac Boyles
Yeah I'm in the same boat
Green0Photon
I'm on Ritalin style, not Adderall style, but pages like this have been very helpful, or at least interesting. Adderall style ones: https://www.ashp.org/drug-shortages/current-shortages/drug-shortage-detail.aspx?id=863 https://www.ashp.org/drug-shortages/current-shortages/drug-shortage-detail.aspx?id=961 https://www.ashp.org/drug-shortages/current-shortages/drug-shortage-detail.aspx?id=857 Ritalin style ones: https://www.ashp.org/drug-shortages/current-shortages/drug-shortage-detail.aspx?id=896 https://www.ashp.org/drug-shortages/current-shortages/drug-shortage-detail.aspx?id=955 https://www.ashp.org/drug-shortages/current-shortages/drug-shortage-detail.aspx?id=973 And uh, basically all Adderall XR generics seem to be out of stock. Ooof. My brand of generic XR Ritalin has been in stock thankfully, though my current dose stopped working without me realizing on it, and my new near top dose may not even be enough. Joy. Can confirm, you do kinda need meds to be able to fucking do anything. It's really frustrating, yet I keep being tempted to blame myself. That it's my fault I can't get myself to do stuff, still. Even though that inability is literally why I decided to pursue meds. Sounds like you're trying atomoxetine or maybe guanfacine? Those spook me. Hope whatever new thing works well for you. And it sounds like it has -- apparently the first few weeks are the worst, and if you're doing well now, it'll stay that way. Huge. You're able to take Ritalin style plus one of those, even, and sometimes that works better in total, because the thing targeted is slightly different. Focus vs emotional dysregulation. Idk about taking it simultaneously with Adderall style though. It's not impossible I might end up having take those too, depending on whether Ritalin is able to stabilize. But there seems to be plenty of Ritalin XR generics. Though taking a Concerta generic seems like a terrible idea. That's another option, if you're compatible with it.
NoneSuch
Take care of yourself and keep us better informed (I know I'm a demanding reader, but I am paying for certain liberties here). That's literally all I ask. Also, happy New Year!
CF Sapper
Can't speak gor everyone but as someone with ADHD as well, I totally understand. That's a situation completely beyond your control and the fact theres a chapter at all is beyond impressive enough thanks for the chapter and update! keep well and don't be too hard on yourself, the world does that enough, no need to add additional stress and BS to yourself
pfreya
Good luck with the new meds, friend! Pharma supply has been rough recently, I’m sorry you got hit so hard. My girlfriend and I have been struggling with this, too. Take your time to find what works, take care of yourself as best you can, and know that your readers will still be here when things stabilize for you 😎👍🩷
Richard S
I had this problem too. When a pharmacy says that their supplier is out of stock, it usually means they refused to pay the supplier price. They will lie and tell you it is a "industry wide problem". Try a different pharmacy chain.
Heiko
Welcome back. While the delayes are harsh for a lot of people first thing you need to survive. While you are in the recovering process use your mental energy for whatever posts your bills most. If you can, drop us even just a the three word; if you can't, don't.
DittoMikko
Good medication can be tricky so I am hoping for you all best<3
Matt Null
It can be difficult keeping up with things, wishing you much rest, fortune, and luck, dont force the writing juices flowing too hard ok? keep up the good work!
Paweł P
Good luck! And glad you are doing ok. Hopefully the new one will be a good alternative
