A Firm Hand

Bagge

*Reluctant slowclap*

Devin Forbes

I think he's trying to use pintsize more since he is never able to use yelling bird to satisfy his whimsy

Brad Knowles

Whap #1 or Whap #2?

Chris Gallaty

The shlong arm of the law catches up with Martin. Pint-size isn't dicking around.... !or is he?)

Dave Cochran

I predict within 24 hours of this going on the main site, there will be at least 3 separate tumblrs dedicated to images of Marten getting whapped with a dildo.

Matthew Van Gangelen

She is smiling more in panel 6 than in panel 4. ... Just saying.

Dolan

1. Reference man getting hit by blunt object 2. Compensate for Dildo Wobble 3. ??? 4. Profit

awgiedawgie

Have you not read the entire series? Pintsize has done decent things on numerous occasions. He just <b>prefers</b> butts.

If we both go to hell for liking this too much, we can shift the blame onto Jeph! :)

Kyle Rudy

Okay, this is cute and all, but I'm wondering what sort of reference material you used for your depiction of a man getting smacked around by a giant novelty (?) dildo.

BobC

I've got two things to say about this: 1. That was a total dick move, Pintsize. 2. The teledildonics patent expired this week. (S'truth!) 3. Ursula may be sentient. (Didn't Pintsize and pre-android Winslow have a startup?) 4. I clearly can't stop counting at two.

Unanimous D

Communication is tricky, particularly in the moment. People mistake being close with actually having telepathy, which is silly because only Vulcans and Grodd have telepathy, not humans.

Unanimous D

Yay for Pints being actually respected for like 2 seconds out of 20 years.

Hi Ursula! I loved you in that Guy Ritchie movie!

Ísabel Pirsic

As much as Marten was inattentive, I would think that Claire's timing and tone was not really conducive to an immediate plunge into exploration; likely due to another layer of avoidance behaviour. What you ideally *would* say is more like: "(Weell, um, actually) I've really been stressing over something lately - I'll tell you later" and let him unwind first.

Andrew Tate

HE'S DRAWN A FACE ON IT.

But not the one we deserve.

Creepy Cat Lady

Ursula is the hero we need.

Patrick Jackson

Is that dildo named after The Sea Witch?!? *shudder*

Sero

OK, damn. Pintsize picked the perfect name for a purple dildo. A+ you horrible, great little robot.

Janne Peltonen

Also, FWIW, I didn't think he was being horribly blind to Claire's needs in the previous comic. Things like that happen, and it's not really anyone's fault; I'm probably not at my most observant when just returning home from work. Thank gods those guys have the friendly relationship counseling AIs at their disposal.

Janne Peltonen

This was better than the bucketful of dildos.

Patrick Mac Manus

I laughed way too hard at this comic

MikeT

Called it!

Valraven

CALLED IT.

I think this is the cartoon we were all praying would happen, especially after the events of yesterday.

Bagge

Poor unfortunate souls...

Ben Russell-Gough

He actually tries to help people quite often. It's just that he's pretty subtle and sometimes the urge to pull a crude prank is often a lot stronger!

Bryan Freehan

Is... Is Pintsize actually trying to help someone? Whoa.

Diptych

They're completely different kinds of whaps! The first, Marten was facing away from Pintsize - that was a surprise blow from behind, more startling than anything. The second, he went turning toward Pintsize to looking in the other direction, limbs all at the wrong angle - that was a serious blow that spun Marten in place.

Ben Russell-Gough

I've got a nasty feeling that 'Ursula' is Pintsize's closest friend in the world and they spend a lot of time talking. Yes, I DO think that he's THAT disturbingly weird!

Ben Russell-Gough

This is an issue that Marten needs to nip in the bud. Yes, I'm talking about Claire - Long-time readers will remember that she was on medication for anxiety and mood swings when they first met. However, I'm also talking about Pintsize. If he isn't careful, the little creep may get the idea that he can get away with slapping people with sex toys and that way lies madness!

Thank you for ACTUALLY re drawing the panel 2 for panel 5. I get slightly annoyed at reused panels =w= (Not that it's my business if you do that, but I wanted to give you a shoutout for your extra effort :3 )

awgiedawgie

Oh, he is, he is. But one uses the tools one has available. His "tool" happens to be a giant purple phallus. At least he didn't hit Marten with the metal one Faye and Bubbles built for him.

Bagge

Ursula is chill about the whole thing.

She does look sort of like a sea witch

Grace Kieser

He's got a ton of points in diplomacy but nothing in sense motive, and then he keeps rolling natural ones!

Erin Moriarty

OMG Marten's expression in panel 5.

Grace Kieser

Internet, I guessing

LH

oh good. I was worried pintsize was starting to mature

JD

I never thought I’d say this, but go Pintsize!

Cranthulos XII, Conqueror of Five Empires, Lord of the Blood Pits of Fethna

I am really glad that Pintsize is becoming more than a repository for vulgar jokes.

Hugh Eckert

Friend to you and me!

Hugh Eckert

I wonder is this is Ursula here: <a href="https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2649" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2649</a> or does Pintsize just own more than one purple dildos with smiley faces on the tip? Hmmm... probably the latter.

Dylan T

Pintsize - putting the "chaotic" in "chaotic good"

kaitou

Ursula? Any bets on him having another one named Fella?

Mitchell Sealy

I know Pintsize feels he's unneeded since Marten got all his friends, but perhaps Marten could still use somebody to take a more hands on approach with him in the romance department from time to time. His heart's in the right place but sometimes he just doesn't have the skills he needs to make this work.

URSULA!!

Will Weaver

Also, Ursula seems quite thrilled with the idea of being used as a bludgeoning device.

Thank you Pintsize! You are the hero Martin deserves 🤣

Will Weaver

Way to go, Pintsize. Marten totally deserved that.

Ahh Marten Faces. I missed Marten Faces.

awgiedawgie

If he can manage to get an entire box of dildos on top of a door as a prank, getting on the counter with one dildo is easy.

Czarzhan

Called it. :)

awgiedawgie

Wow. Twice in one day Pintsize does the right thing. Of course, it works to his own advantage that today "the right thing" happens to be yelling at people.

Denise Webber

For once I am #teampintsize. Marten deserved BOTH of those.

Danya Michael

I’m so happy.

Michelle Wex

Any particular Ursula you had in mind to name this blunt force dildo after?

Bruce Steinberg

Pintsize should open up a couple's counseling office. Deep understanding and dildo slaps are the specialty of the house!

Jason Zions

But this is literally Pintsize's job, and he's demonstrated he's good at it. He spent years building up the "I am the Imp of the Perverse" persona, and hid the insightful comments behind the wacky hijinks. Marten and his friends have grown and matured, and have each other to serve as distractions and cover; Pintsize doesn't need to act on his own to hide the wisdom nearly so much.

Elliott Case

all boyfriends should have a small robot to smack them upside the head with a dildo when they’re being bad listeners

How did Pintsize get on the counter with Ursula in hand? Quite a feat.

Shawn K. Younkin

At least Ursula is happy about meeting Marten. XD

dipique

This feels a little deux ex machina to me, if you'll pardon the pun. Hopefully all our emotional conflict from now on isn't pre-maturely resolved by conveniently intervening characters saying the perfect thing.

Mordaeus

A perfect follow-up to the previous page.

dipique

Honestly it feels sudden and jarring to me. Have I missed him gradually getting more helpful?

Sam Johnson

Brings a whole new meaning to the onomatopoeia "Wang".

Samantha Yeaman

This may be the most I've ever approved of Pintsize. Marten needed that slap.

ysth

How many appearances gets Ursula a listing on the last page?

Nicholas Lopez

Pintsize is actually being helpful for once. And weird. Can't forget about weird.

Ursula. URSULA

Cody Renton

It's not THAT surprising, really. Being a deviant doesn't mean you're incapable of clear communication, just that it's usually funnier not to.

R L

Nanomachines obviously.

Ami

UNDER THE SEA!

Rozzie Kopczynski

Pintsize is the one pushing for healthy communication and honesty! This is a great new era

Peter McDevitt

well sometimes Marten is a poor unfortunate soul...

Lucanid Landman

Honestly, the second smack was probably a good idea anyway. Yes, Marten, you didn't, and that's one of your biggest remaining flaws.

Hawkeye

..... how does pintsize hold onto that dildo with his spherical hands? Wait. Do I want to know?

R L

Pintsize has growth of character whithin the confines of his (heh) dickery. Never thought I'd see the day.

Celine Chamberlin

I love that Ursula has a happy face on the tip.

Benzy

Ursula: a little happy, a lot wiggly, and good for whacking Marten when necessary.

Miyaa

Do I even want to know where does Pintsize purchased Ursula?

GragSmash

The Sea Witch?

JD

Good Pintsize.

Alex Mullenix

Honestly he deserved two whacks.