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Know When To Fold 'Em

🕑 Added 2020-01-08 02:12:17 +0000 UTC

Comments

Kerin Schiesser

The only Beatrice I've EVER heard of was Beatrice Arthur, actress of the Golden Girls (TV show). I'm sure there must be thousands of famous people with that name, but I don't know of them LOL The closest similarly-named person I can think of is Beatrix Potter of the bunny stories fame...

Philip D Jones

I thought Beepatrice was based on Beatrice. Go figure. BTW I never meet young women named Beatrice. Actually I rarely meet any young women. Sigh.

Darla Donahue

What the water cooler is really thinking is "service is my only joy"...

Utaku Beta

That face is contemplating murder

Sleepy John

Last panel, the water cooler is saying "uh-oh".

FunkyTuba

Ref: Alice

That is not a face of defeat. That is a war face.

Geo (Overand)

Yes, it's certainly drawn comment - but, good on you for finding it out yourself! There are lots of little fun easter eggs like this with AI names. *I* am a fan of the theory that "Beepatrice" is actually - ahem - cockatrice (a "related" creature to the Basilisk). And, I have no idea if I came up with that theory independently, or read it. WHO KNOWS!?

Philip D Jones

I hope I am not posting something that has already drawn comment. Using Google I stumbled across “Roko’s Basilisk,” reputed to be a thought experiment so terrifying the poster recommends the reader stop lest they risk unrelenting nightmares. If you want to risk it here is a link https://www.google.com/amp/s/slate.com/technology/2014/07/rokos-basilisk-the-most-terrifying-thought-experiment-of-all-time.amp I must assume Jeff knows about this. The similarity of names cannot be a coincidence.

Nulgar

Time to Phone a Friend.

jimbo

the eyes in panel 5-6!! Amazing that she showed restraint and didn't come over the desk. Nice cop didn't work. Now what?

Lightsabr2

At least her background research indicating a perfectly innocent, uninteresting fungus of a personality proved to be accurate.

Daryl Sawyer

Can't be *that* expensive if Marigold can afford to buy one by "eating raman for a while".

Daryl Sawyer

Not only is she a former cop, she's a former cop who quit on account of those cops who *don't* restrain themselves.

Remember when Wyclef Jean did a remix of "know when to hold 'em"? no? that's just me?

Amazing Stace

*Kill Bill siren plays*

He seems utterly depressed tbh. I still hate him though.

Ralph

For a classic take on this story, read Tom Wolfe's "Mau Mauing the Flak Catchers."

Churchill (formerly TeaBear)

I definitely sense things are not over. In fact they may have only begun. O_O

SSJ Carrot Cake

for real. there's a lot of time where i can't do what the customer is asking me but i'm not a dick about it, and if i was able to help them i would. this dude just doesn't give a fuck and acts like a jacass to people for no reason

Sleepy John

“Of course you realize, this means war.” B. Bunny.

Milayna

Wonder how much they're paying him to sit around and read Prolapse Monthly and sneer at clients. Seems to me like there's an opportunity for the budget committee to eliminate waste and expand its services.

OldGoat

Richard is the sort that actually LIKEs having a job that requires he do nothing.

Joe Vandevander

Nope. He may be unable to help, but he's being deliberately douchey about it. No sympathy. If you can't help, fine, but there's no call for this. You're working too hard to make the conduct seem okay. None of us would take this well in person. Super neat seeing all the people trying to make this seem like it's okay.

LuckyMag7

The guy is a bit to dismissive but lets be honest his real job is to look after the majority of the AIs in rehab. She is an extreme niche case coming in for something so expensive that a moderately well off officer of the law had to be told not to worry about because he insurance would cover the full replacement. He explained the situation and why he couldn't do anything (too dismissively yes but she came in wide eyed expecting to change things right now). The only thing that I saw that made it actually an insulting level and not just "Listen, I have a full time job dealing with the bulk of AIs who had a body or are willing to work bodyless." was pulling out the crossword and proving that he is not in fact busy at all. If he had started working on actual paperwork after telling her off I would honestly only consider him to be slightly rude.

Boots McGoot

hahaha he deserves what's coming. God it's so nice to read about a universe that bends towards justice. thanks, jeph.

Blakey

The number of people on here who think him being unable to do anything justifies his behaviour here is odd. It may be impossible for him to change but that doesn't mean he isn't being a cock, or that being a cock is okay.

Nick Hodgson

That is a face that is swearing vengeance!

Evgeniy Semyonov

Why there are so many comments promoting violence on this douche? Roko is a former cop, she knows how to restrain herself. Also, as a former cop, she would be much more efficient in closing him up for embezzlement, or whatever shit he's into (he's guilty of something, I'm absolutely positive). I hope for a lawful resolution of this situation - it would make a much more interesting and gratifying story.

Chris Gallaty

The bad combo though is matching zero power up with zero fucks given, as is the case here. As a consultant I'm constantly wandering into situations where people live their lives caged into their desks with fuzzy ropes and can't see past them. They are not 'paid' to find creative solutions. Here there is likely a pool of bodies, but no one cases enough to sort through them and shelve off the ones that need the most work. Or the budget they have is miss used as the staff does not understand the issues. A group like this could likely stay well within their 'budget' and keep Faye and Bubbles in biz just fine. Government tends to be the perfect storm were apathy meets ignorance though.

jimfromtx

Yikes. Getting fired sucks, but to be honest, from what you've said, losing that particular job might have actually been a positive thing. Some jobs just wear on the soul. Here's hoping you've found something much more fulfilling since then (or if you haven't yet, that you do find it in the near future).

Mark P.

The easy response for a government bureaucrat is, 'I can't give out that information.' Or, 'Not my job.' That said, FOIA requests do exist for just such information digging. But those take time and, occasionally, money, to acquire. Fortunately, government budgets are generally available through FOIA since it's public money being spent.

Dean Reilly

He comes back to his car to find it crushed into a cube, with one perfect cupcake sitting on top.

Stephen Wells

This man will have no reason to regret giving Roko a fairly detailed explanation of why his own job is pointless and should not exist.

Lars Gottlieb

I was a hotline supporter for the social workers in the local city. They called in to report a system was not working, and we were to take a report, and tell them that someone would get back to them. Systems, that for instance, if they didn't work, would get someone thrown on the street, homeless and unable to get food. After a few days, I noticed that some of the voices sounded familiar. And I looked at the queue of reports. It had more than a million unread reports in it. Going back more than ten years. Oh, and I got fired from that job for having a single sick day.

Somber Pony

Here is what Roko needs to say next. "Before I go, however, I'd like a digital copy of your operating budget. I'd also appreciate a list of models you have in stock and your sources of these bodies." Here's the thing. He may very well be telling the truth. If he is, he should be able to either forward that information, or foist her off on someone who will. But it's also possible that he's getting lemons from a friend or family member at a premium. It could be that he's got better bodies in inventory and he provides them to AI's who give special services or kickbacks to him. It could be that he's not spending those resources accordingly. If Roko does need to go before a budgetary comittee, she will need two things: information and more clients. So really he has no reason not to give that info... unless he has something to hide... Or his state doesn't require him to disclose that information without a supeona... in which case... fuck...

Luis Roman

There are rare times when Im having a rough day and sitting for a few hours enjoying QC from the beginning lifts my mood up. Thank you Jeff.

Thisguy

Well said. You both recognise that his behaviour is awful, and that what Roko is seeking may not be possible.

My previous position in the company I work for was basically what he's doing. I got that position because of the previous person acted like that. I was sat down and had to review a video conference that when more or less just like this. After it was over, my then boss turned to me and said, "See that? Yeah, don't ever talk to people like that." It was in essence rule #1. He's job isn't to tell people "No," it's to explain to people why something cannot be achieved. The client may not like it, but so long as you listen to where the are coming from, and you explain where your company stands, no one leaves upset and you don't get slammed on every social media site in the world. Pro-Tip: While you are at your job, speak to everyone as if HR was within earshot. If I ever talked to a client or their representative in that manner, I would have been fired, and they would have been right to do so.

MiqoRems

He's capable of actually giving a fuck about the people he is ostensibly in charge of rehabilitating, for one.

Kevin Symonds

I see May's problems as basically the same as anyone with a dicky leg or a clicking hip etc. You can live, you might be in pain or inconvenienced but you can get by, and without money to make things better you can't expect things to change. But then I also realise this would be from the pov of somewhere with no free public health system.

John Peterson

This isn't a comment about this strip, but... I've always found the relation between humans and AIs a bit fanciful here. But recently I heard a podcast, Invisibilia's "Raising Devendra", with an AI showing many of the characteristics of QC's AI characters. There's no body in Devendra's case, but the interactions in the podcast would not be out of place in a QC storyline. If the topic of human/AI interaction interests you, it's definitely worth checking out. https://www.npr.org/2019/12/13/787876476/raising-devendra

Aeryn Monet

The guy's a jerk, but honestly what is he capable of doing gicen the circumstances? From what he has said May is lucky to have gotten ANY body at all. He is under no obligation to go the extra mile for her, and his impatience with roko, a woman clearly looking for a magic fix to her problem, is to he expected. In his eyes she is wasting everyone's time. The problem is Roko is attacking a cog in the machine, not the machine itself, all the vitriol and violent comments directed at this man are naive amd disturbingly bloodthirsty. "he didn't do what we want, hurt him and damage his property, THAT'S ONLY FAIR."

Satan

we can only hope!

Philip D Jones

Ya think that guy will miss his balls?

Bagge

That went well

Chris Hull

For some reason, makes me think of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_R8GtrKtrZ4

Populuxe

I worked with a guy just like this. We called him the pole because the pole up his ass must have had a pole up it’s ass.

Michael Boettger

How about if Roko has Crushbot atone for what happened. "Hey, Crushbot, see that car? Owner's a jerk. Just blew off me and May. Have fun".

Chris Hull

Would hate to waste his crossword time...

Todd Ellner

The sound you hear is a man hitting the end of a long length of chain wrapped around his twigs and berries.

Kriss Pang

He kinda did, and shot his own ideas down. Which is suuuper cynical imo!

Jason Rock

Pretty sure I work with this guy.

Populuxe

I’m guessing he doesn't suffer from a surfeit of friends.

Mark Thomas

comprised* is made up of compromised is to come to an agreement in the middle

gatherer818

The problem is, if he has been through this song and dance several times before, it means his entire argument is a bald-faced lie. He says the reason he can't do anything is because it's a very rare case, after all - if it were common enough that he's had this conversation before, it'd be common enough to allocate funds to.

A.A. aka Double

As shitty as it is to read, I'm deeply appreciative of Jeph for writing this outcome. Bureaucracy is a motherfucker, but it is a monolith of a motherfucker. This world might be bullshit to you, but chances are there's someone dealing with 2-to-3 times worse bullshit. Life is compromised of wins and losses, and of various-sized wins and losses at that. Roko is learning, even if it's a hard lesson

Ack

The worst bit is, he doesn't just not care, he doesn't even care enough to offer alternatives. If there was an alternative, he doesn't care enough to tell her about it.

Bryce Maryott

Here's the interesting thing. Normally her eyes are purple. In the last panel they're red. Artificial life forms whose eyes turn red? Yeah, start running!

Brad Kirkwood

it seems to me the next step is charitable, start an organization (you would probably find many AIs and companies willing to donate) that provides bodies and/or repairs to AIs in need and make the douche-canoe's department redundant and likely shut down (he has a government job so he won't get fired, just moved to a different department where he can be useless to another social service)

Grace Kieser

The difference is you empathize, and this tool just doesn't care.

Mordaeus

Set. Him. On. FIRE.

The Secret Sponsor

Somehow, I feel like Spookybot (Yay Newfriend, if were keeping track) is going to re-enter the story now that this has gone downhill.

Thisguy

As someone who’s a bureaucrat myself, I get a little annoyed at the constant baying for blood by the comments. This guy is ruder and more unhelpful then he needs to be, but he is still just doing his job, if I were in his position, I would be giving similar reasons. I would be more apologetic, more sincere, more empathetic, probably blame the system, suggest other people to talk to and offer to send the report to a higher authority, but I would still be saying “sorry, the system is not set up to help you “. Because a lot of systems aren’t. But this guy is just doing his job, being a non caring jerk about it, but you can get quite jaded in jobs like that that you have to be to survive.

Some Ed

Some have reasons to care. They just don't have any ability to do anything about it, and they've been at this long enough their ability to care is worn very thin.

BobC

Roko's campaign for May's chassis upgrade needs a name: How about "Make Androids Great Again"?

Some Ed

D. He's not intentionally part of the problem, just doesn't have the funds and is tired of wasting time with people who don't have any better solutions than he does. What's needed is a way to conceivably address the issues without costing more money. I don't know what Roko will do, but options A, B, and C seem like they'll all be fruitless.

Thisguy

Yep, just a non caring bureaucrat following the system, for all its faults. It is an unfortunate situation. May needs to work, she needs a body because she can’t do electronic stuff involving due to conditions of her parole, but due to the system, she’s a niche case and they have no budget, so she’s set up to fail. And while US healthcare isn’t great at the best of times, campaigning for better support for former criminals is usually not a popular platform. The major problem is the system itself.

Emma Humphries

This is when the Minds have had it, and take over. Jeph can wrap up the comic with Martyn asking a mind to teleport him into a star's core 300 years later.

Nick Gilbert

Okay, so we know Jeph has a backlog, that means tomorrow’s is written and in the can, so there’s no reason not to speculate does Roko A) Go off on this disinterested civil servant? B) Get into politics right here, and right now? C) Rally a mob outside the office? D) None of the above (please elaborate) Informal poll closes at 12pm EST tomorrow

Valraven

Well, everyone who matters, certainly.

Valraven

This would be an amazing curse to give to people. "May your phone never work again, and you be plagued by an invisible emu"

Jon

I daresay that this dude's been through that song and dance so often that he doesn't even bother with the pleasantries anymore. Like if you can't fix the broken system, why bother wasting time and put in the effort? Maybe I'm being overly optimistic about him, but hopefully he'll come around soon and help Roko set things right. ...Or maybe he's an irredeemable shithead about to get his ass whooped, I'm okay with that, too. 😆

Valraven

More specifically, Roko Basilisk. She's about to create the system that should exist, and woe betide everyone who does not help that system come into existence. ESPECIALLY this asshole.

Yelling Bird

I've got a feeling that she's got a plan.

Mitchell Sealy

Yeah, I suspected Roko was gonna lose round 1 here. Her cop skills have taken her far, but the big difference here is that unlike a cop she has no real authority. The Algorithm Fucker has all the power here. She's not gonna be able to just win him over with smiles and good grace like Beeps was saying, but she's gonna have to figure out something here before she comes back for Round 2.

Gamera

String him up by his nose hairs

Everett Bradshaw

I was really hoping for an ass whooping...disappointing.

Kajsa Anderson

I think you mean a wreck-oning

I'll second this despite my sentiment yesterday. Dude is hamming it up too much. Then again, he might just be a doomer type and tired of trying. Meh.

Czarzhan

I think Roko is going to end up building a system that does what she thinks it is supposed to do, and it will supersede this agency, causing it to shut down, And she will do this just to MAKE THIS FUCKER LOSE HIS JOB.

Michael Boettger

And he's doing crossword puzzles to boot.

Andrea Andrew

This man is lying! I hope Roko figures out a solution.

Mark P.

Pretty much my experience working with bureaucrats at all levels of government. They have zero reason to give a fuck. They’re not elected so you can’t vote them out. They’re unionized, so you can’t get them fired. They have no reason to be efficient or care because you don’t have any alternative for whatever service you need from them.

Bacon Lord

I'm sure this will end well for everyone.

Tudza

Your cell phone will never work again and you will be plagued by invisible emu.

Adam Friedlander

I foresee a bright future for that guy. Very warm, too. Probably a loud nose as well.

Matt Grayson

Spookybot could probably kill him faster, but Bubbles would make a bigger splash.

Lex

Time to bring in Spooky Bot!

Michael Boettger

Beware the angry Roko. The eyes that glare. The coolant that steams. Been nice knowin' you, asshat bureaucrat.

Erinnyes

Ahhhh, the joys of many layered bureaucracy. The worst part of it is often the only people you can get access to talk to have absolutely no power to solve your problem. Be nice to public facing employees, people. They usually don't like it any more than you do.