Quackery
🕑 Added 2020-11-18 02:07:46 +0000 UTCuntitled goose comic
Comments
Some Ed
Simple. Momo goes over to Sven's with a watermelon. "Was this just a thing with May, or...?" The next panel features May walking in Sven's neighborhood or building. The panel after that, Sven's answering the door in a bathrobe, with Momo and a half watermelon in the background. There will be a great deal of anguish. Mostly here on Patreon, on Reddit, and wherever else this comic is discussed.
Some Ed
You have the right to your feelings. Sven has the right to his. I know from experience doing the right thing does not provide any resistance to feeling sad about it. Knowing that you did the right thing is also not helpful for keeping the situation from making one be sad.
Some Ed
I don't know the specifics about any of those divorce cases, but part of me kind of wants the other party in them to have "won", not just on that point but in general. I mean, OMG.
Some Ed
Given the amounts that most of the people were talking about and stuff, I suspect his portion of the donated money was over 50%, possibly considerably over. That's the bit that makes things weird.
Nicholas A Wagner
Does she have to stop being friends with everyone else who gave money to the body fund? I don't know, I just think they are being a little extreme with their response. He gave freely with no expectation of reward. I don't know...
KCkittysnores
Right! She coulda picked a fighter jet! I mean, out of her price range, I guess, but she had options.
I can't say I read people too well, but this might not be so temporary an awkwardness
Merle Blue
A whole lot of profanity is going to be involved.
Merle Blue
Sheesh, you two lovable dorks. Just wait about a week and it won't seem so weird anymore.
Quantum Cat
By dissolving their "arrangement", neither side has any further obligation, so if May decides to get her some Sven in the future, would that no longer be fraught with uncomfortable power dynamics? (Asking for a friend.)
Joe
jeez. why stop?? weird was working for them when she was still using that broke ass body. why shouldn't weird work now?? don't overthink it Maven (or Svay)!!
Yonatan Zunger
God willing!
Kuragari
May does have big honkers now so... LOL
Joseph Bonnar
Somewhere along here Momo is gonna figure out that Sven knows of her crush now, AND that he's free. I have no idea how this will go, because Jeph is a DAMNED good story teller, but I want to start shipping Sven and Momo NOW!
Joseph Bonnar
What duck?
KCkittysnores
Nooooooooooooooo
Tim Keating
Apropos of nothing, it occurs to me that May has never actually had sex in the traditional sense. Not just literally, insofar as it’s a brand new body, but she’s never had the traditional equipment. So what’s THAT going to be like?
Tim Keating
2020: Jeph destroys all our dreams.
Andrea Andrew
Streaking?! I wouldn’t put it past May and Sven. They did get freaky at her convenience store. 😁😂
Robin Wyatt
That’s the idea, they’re growing.
John Ridley
Man I am glad that the partners that I have helped out financially didn't cut me off as a result. If it's given as a friend and not with the expectation of payback, seems weird to take it like that.
Em Dah
my current partner donated like 485 dollars to my youcaring account like a month into us dating back in early 2019. she did not intend for me to know it was her. I had been unemployed for a while and was having trouble making my rent. I originally was gonna play it off like i didn't know, but I realized that would be dishonest and I didn't like how it felt, so I confessed that an email gave her away. I don't remember it feeling that weird, she made a good amount of money and she had a history of generous donations to people she didn't know incredibly well. But boy it was dicey at the time.
Timothy Mann
Here’s the thing, he donated money so she could get a body that wasn’t falling apart not to necessarily improve how she looked. This is like donating for someone to get life improving surgery like reconstructive knee surgery. He had no way to predict or any say in what the outcome was going to look like. She could have chosen a body that was unappealing to human beauty standards. So frankly I hope they get over this mental hurdle or someone points it out when they’re feeling down about the situation.
William Cole
Fraternize?
Milo
Definitely hoping that May thinks about this five minutes, and decide "What the hell I want to fu*k his brain out anyway".
Landy K Hayes
Dam
This makes me sad.
OldGoat
No weirder than what the two of them did to that poor watermelon to begin with. Get naked and have fun, you two.
Mark
I'm now annoyed that there doesn't seem to be a synonym for 'date' which starts with an 'f', which would have allowed a more complete alliteration in the last panel :-)
Mark
Some look at a duck and ask Why. I look at the absence of a duck and ask Why Not!
jimbo
sure, sure it might be weird, but these two thrive on weird (while superficially denying it)]
Marc Moskowitz
Have we ever seen Sven with a girlfriend taller than he is?
Calling it now: After this growth and maturity sinks in, they are going to realize it was never that casual and they have a real connection, and run into each other on their way to go to the other's apartment, and do horny stuff in a strange ally or something.
Jim Lee
Ehhhhhhh...Sven was never a total douchebag in the first place, just a dude who did some selfish and immature things, and Jeph has almost made a running gag out of how Sven’s had a load of personal growth and development that the other characters just didn’t notice.
Stephen Wells
What is all this character growth and ethical behaviour doing in our horny robot comic? :)
melloncollic
If it feels weird, it feels weird. I don't think that's necessarily out of character. :-)
Timothy Roller
This feels out of character for both of them.
My prediction for tomorrow is that Sven returns with some Pocky because he realized he wants a hug before he leaves.
Leak
Well, sure - this would be fucking weird (heh...) in the same way banging someone's hip socket isn't...
GJT
I don't think he should have disclosed it. The only real reason to disclose it is making May feel indebted to him, which was the entire concern when he specifically was given the advice to donate anonymously to prevent exactly that. He doesn't show any sign he's doing that INTENTIONALLY here, but the reveal didn't benefit EITHER of them. If he was too weirded out by knowing, HE should have said no, not told her so she's guilt tripped and STILL said yes.
dizzy ditzy
One the one hand, this is an extremely nuanced thing and it all mostly depends on how the two feel about the situation On the other, I just want them to get together and be happy together, so I hope they reconcile quick
AlexKorobeiniki
Ah, that's too bad. Good on them for being up front about that, but at the same time it's sad to see a good thing be tainted by, of all things, a genuinely honest and non-coercive donation. I always appreciate when Jeph bring up stuff like this, a lesser writer would have made one of them a villian over it.
YourKingMob
They just need an initial cooling off and a talked out reassessment. They'll be back.
Rodrigo Ourcilleon
Nooooooooooooooo. :( please meet again. Those guys are my favorite ship atm.
darklion
These are overly stringent ethics. IN PRINCIPLE, there is a conflict of interest here, but this is a private matter just between the two of them, so it's possible to reach an understanding going beyond principle, if May were the party to act and say, "It's okay." Hell, she could even put it in writing, if that's what it took to avoid the appearance of impropriety. Up to this point May has never been shy about cutting corners whenever possible, so it's really out of character to do this here.
Huntokar
Buggrit! Millennium hand and shrimp!
Bagge
Yeah, I give them a week until they fuck.
Carin Maja Brooks
Some of us were hoping for some... other growth
darklion
Jack is best girl
Shane Wegner
Mated for life with several ducklings, I'm afraid.
Matthew Van Gangelen
Honestly at this point I think the text is printed in light emitting fabric that is constantly flashing on and off. There’s a tiny battery compartment sewn into the hem at the back. The text remains on for longer than it stays off, hence why it appears in most of the panels.
Yonatan Zunger
That would be a hell of a title for a porn movie.
Mister Cletus
Wait. WaitwaitwaitwaitWAIT. Sven. Being... Considerate? A philanthropist? The fuck? I know it's still 2020, Jeph, but this bizzaro Sven is... Well... Nice.
Evgeniy Semyonov
So it's another Mass Effect homage. Like if you choose to just sleep with Jack early on, you would be locked out of the chance for real relationship later on. Given that May is also a former convict with antisocial tendencies and love for the excessive swearing, this analogy actually works very well.
Dunno if anybody else here got that one, Penguin. Bugrit! Millennium Hand and Shrimp!
Alan Wiggs
The shirt text disappears again! The glomp has become sentient
Chelsea
Yeah, I don't get this. I think it was the right thing for Sven to disclose the info to May before they proceeded, but I don't really see why they can't still hook up. As others have said, maybe this would lead to them actually dating, though, which would be good, I think they'd be good for each other
Dean Reilly
So it's a voyeur? Hot.
Joseph Bonnar
What duck? (If you don't get it, read Pratchett.)
Joseph Bonnar
What duck?
Andrea Andrew
They might. Give it time, and actual dates and a possible relationship.
Yahsho Jinn
It seems like another ship is stuck in dry dock. But when it comes to human AI relationships, I always figured Clinton would be the second cast member to have one. He could be in the coffee shop, happen to see Roko dealing with a dissociative episode and strike up a conversation about his hand. Sure it's not the same as having a full body replacement, but I feel like he would have a relatable experience. They could chat over tea and a fresh loaf of sourdough..
DVW
Hey now casual fuck buddies is a perfectly real relationship
That's a really cute duck.
Nobilis Reed (personal)
Who'da thought he'd have sexual ethics? --N
Sleepy John
Ethics are the chastity of the mind.
William Karr
I’M GLAD MY BRAIN ISN’T THE ONLY ONE THAT WENT THERE.
Alan
Aw. Now that she has orifices, she can't share them with the person she wants to. It's like a carnal Gift of the Magi.
The World Famous Chocomerican
Sad that Sven and May aren't gonna break in that new body. It was one of the few things I was looking forward to.
Penguin
What Duck?
Chris Heg
That's no goose, that's a Pekin duck.
awgiedawgie
The only thing that got Momo wet was dunking her head in the fountain to cool down. The duck just happened to be in the way.
Thomas Halpin
Sucks that Sven and May are both suffering from the entirely predictable consequences of his actions. I even believe they were the correct actions. Maybe they can take some time and try a real relationship later
Simon Green
I guess a chance to try out the fabled corkscrew duck peener is a fair consolation prize. I mean, it managed to get Momo wet.
fluffy
I’m guessing 80
Simon Green
I'm not sure whether it would flicker more or less if that was 'bad decision' instead of 'bed decision'.
Jim Lee
Also, jeez, what percentage of the fund do we think Sven contributed? 10%? 20% of the total?
Carl Fink
OK, are those bushy trees running down a street behind our characters, and one of them is halfway behind a building, which is why it's cut off in panel 6?
I think the missing t-shirt text in panel five is intended to remind us that we should be reading May's expression more carefully. Panel Five - That Face!
Jim Lee
Hah, suck it Sven. Points for maturity, now go home and feel sad, while also remaining aware that you don’t really have any right to feel sad. You did the right thing.
Grace Kieser
They both act like immature teens, but they both have shown quite a lot of depth! I think the outward immaturity is just a defense mechanism. If no one thinks you're mature, no one expects you to live up to anything!
Andrea Andrew
Yes! They could finally do that. I hope Sven turns around next issue and asks her out.
Populuxe
The text on her shirt blinks off after every bed decision.
Grace Kieser
Because he essentially paid for her new body and she won't be able to forget that. Part of her brain will be worried that she'd be fucking him out of obligation instead of it being fully voluntary.
Aleks
The t-shirt actually has a demifluoroescent print that flickers off every 5/6th of a second just to draw extra much attention to it.
Grace Kieser
That is one magical shirt! The text keeps disappearing on the 5th panel!
Sir Pants
All things considered that was a good way to end the friends with benefits thing, but could be a good transition to them actually dating.
Katrina Urmson
Heh. Premium pun.
Andrew
Don’t be fowl, May.
Jeremy Westerfield
Why a duck?
Andrea Andrew
Why would it be weird to keep hooking up? She’s now equipped with the right equipment, and they seem to like each other. I hope they realize how perfect they are for each other soon.
Chris Magnelli
I thought he just forgot
ERRORCODE616
I hope so. They seem to be a good match both personality-wise and sexually. I hope they figure out that the money only comes with obligation if they treat it that way, rather than a baseline decent person wanting to help out a friend in need. They have fun together and I want dumb social conventions to get out of their way.
Captain Button
So they are ducking the issue?
Adam with two As, a D, and an M
Honestly, same.
Adam with two As, a D, and an M
D-don't fuck the goose, May.
chapoluvr420
aw NO. sven i was rooting for this one to work out for ya
The missing shirt text is obviously meant to reflect May's mood. Seeing the fuckduck is how May got her glomps back.
doorbender
Ppl dnt ndrstnd Chill and Down Low.
doorbender
Yeah
doorbender
The shirt is monodirectionally printed.
I'm hoping they both get home, realizing how much they are pining for each other, say fuck it, and get back on the boning wagon. But this resolution is very close to best case scenario, and much better than recent romantic situations...
Jaron Mortimer
Bleh. I guess. This seems like a really weird way to end that conversation.
Yonatan Zunger
Healthy behavior on both parts. But I do hope that after a while, they figure out a way they can keep hooking up - because it seems to be actually good for them.
Jareth Fullbringer
Dammit!! I was hoping for Sven to find happiness and May to well be May but with Sven haha
Wolfger
Did somebody hurt you, Jeph? And now you're taking it out on us and your characters? There was no reason for this to go the way it did.
gatherer818
Give them a week to get used to the situation (and hornier), they gonna smash
MikeT
also panel 5 May lost her glomp
Crash Collison
May's shirt lost its text in panel 5
Tamara Macadam
:(
I'm getting some Munchkin (the card game) vibes from that last panel
Michael Boettger
No, but it looks like they can relate to one another on a better, healthier, and more equal level.
Panel 5 is missing shirt text. That an error?
Michael Russell
Missing text on shirt in panel 5.
Cody Renton
Honestly this was way tamer than like, giving a partner a kidney or something, which I mostly bring up so I can point out that in at least one divorce somebody wanted their kidney BACK.
Cryo
I hope they'll reconsider how they feel about it, they seemed actually cool with each other
Thomas A. Dennis
F—- a duck?
MikeT
And who said that Sven hasn't shown growth?
Michael
Surprisingly health decision for the both of them.
Hope
I mean im a dom but id let may step on me
Creampuff
lame i was hoping they would get together