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The Mystery Of Shitty Dan

🕑 Added 2020-10-06 01:02:52 +0000 UTC

Comments

James Dore

OMG PANEL 4 why did it take me so long to have that realisation? Trying not to be a nerd when you’re a nerd is exhausting and depressing.

Mark Metzler

I like playing with the Magic Cards...

TubaGinger

As someone who runs and lifts, and also loves playing tuba and D&D, this rings so true.

BobC

Before introducing him to Brun, Renee should ask if any of them are actually replica harpoons.

Andrew Herrera

Probably owns 16 but two are from a game and 1 is from a show

awgiedawgie

I own a couple swords, and I don't even play magic cards.

Joe

no replicas. one French bayonet from the 1870s, one machete from somewhere in Central America, and a US Naval Officer's sword. oops, wait - I do have replicas - a set of Japanese swords - crap blades, but nice decoration - a katana and a wakizashi. I guess at least I bought them in Japan.

HEY KIDS! Remember: The 'w' in "sword" is silent! A public message from the kind clans on Medieval Street!

Jim Feldman

They can be real swords, just made as replicas from history or fantasy. One of my metallurgy projects was to make an accurate replica of a historical short sword. We got to pick the stock (as opposed to making our own steel) and it turns out that Plymouth (look it up in Wiki) had a torsion bar front suspension as opposed to a coil spring (found in junk yards). We had to analyze the steel, and it turns out we couldn't buy stuff that good unless you paid stupid cash. Flatten, fold and repeat.

Barty

One very real Oakeshott type XII, a bunch of rattan wasters, a 6’ Dane axe and a boar spear made by a very dear friend.

Mark P.

25? 26. I'm going with 26 replica swords.

Leona

I ship it, more nerds for the nerd pile! 🔥🔥🔥

*Deep inhale* Swept-hilt broasword, Celtic anthropomorphic short sword, cutlass, katana/wakizashi/tonto tourist set,15th C. axe, tomahawk, and more daggers/knives than I'd care to count including an authentic Indonesian knife set with hand-carved wood scabbard that a buddy in college brought me back from a mission trip. The axe is the only one I'd actually trust for home defense, though. :-)

Tom B

One pretty lousy replica sword. One US Army sword, circa 1860. And a couple of machetes.

melloncollic

It also took me a long while to figure out exactly that. Kudos to Dan!

Burke

no shame in replica swords.... as long as they're -real- and not just decorative sword-shaped objects*. *squints-in-sword-nerd* (*actually who gives a hell if they're decorative or not, love what you love boo)

Mark

Much as I appreciate how Jeph draws the ladies, given that one could populate an entire new comic with the female *robots* in this strip, a new male character is a nice change of pace.

Mark

I thought for a second that Renee said "adorable" in the last panel, which would have been a rapid escalation.

Jeph Jacques

Ahahahahhah

Dammit, you just blew 2 years of plot!!

Evgeniy Semyonov

So, it can go this way - Renee moves in with Dan, leaving town, Brun needs new companion, Millie moves in with her (just changing apartment is pretty easy), Clinton moves in to now fully committed Elliot, and Yay visits them sometimes to pet Hercules. Everybody is happy.

Evgeniy Semyonov

Wow, I wonder, who can afford a real Frostmourne?

Solomon Garland

Okay, this guy is all kinds of boyfriend material.

Nulgar

*you wish. Well, I certainly do.

Nulgar

Was he called "Shitty Dan" because of that shit-eating grin? :D

Todd Ellner

If he has that kind of money he can farking get real ones, not just replicas

AlexKorobeiniki

It's an important lesson that's unfortunately pretty hard to learn properly- The one person you're going to spend 100% of your time with is yourself, so you better be cool with who that is. Looks like Dan had to go pretty far to either side before finding the middle ground, but serious props to him for finding it. Also, owning replica swords is extremely admirable. Think about how much safer you are during a home invasion with a sword. You charge a guy with a crowbar yelling at the top of your lungs clad only in your whitey tighties and Frostmourne- they're not gonna wanna come back.

Populuxe

I’m just waiting for the smash cut of Renee and Shitty Dan in bed together post-coitus.

orange slice

This is the first time I've seen you here! Hi Eric!

Chris Vermeers

I have swords. Is it really that weird?

Lightsabr2

If you LARP enough, they're not replicas.

Nick Hodgson

The only one I have is from Assassination Classroom. :/

Stephen Wells

Let them fuck in peace!

Pete Hanson

WHAT THE FUCK ARE ELLIOT AND CLINTON DOING?

Miyaa

He’s gotta have two fireplaces, an outdoor pool and heated hot tub that looks like the hot tub from the movie “Hot Tub Time Machine.”

drone r0m-3

Depends on the number of fireplaces you have in your home Dan.

Thisguy

I don’t have any swords. Got a lot of LEGO Star Wars models though. Including a metre long Star Destroyer.

Andrew Mitchell

I vote NEVER. Jeph is not allowed to die without passing the QC torch onto a well-trained and talented apprentice.

Joseph Bonnar

This question HAS to be asked: Jeph, how the HELL do you come up with such interesting, so REAL characters for QC? Inquiring minds need to know!

Seth Aaron Hershman has they she pronouns

That skull picture has been hung in Coffee of Doom since before the comic started.

James Redekop

I have seven replica fantasy swords (eight if you count the Legolas "White Knives" set as two, but... they're a set), three touristy-replica European swords (actually my partner's), and one non-replica fencing foil from my one-semester stint in the UofT fencing club.

Cleo Schmitz

Renee seems to have recovered nicely without having to play Magic cards. Go Renee!

Minzoku Bokumetsu

How many are real-sword replicas of other swords (fictional or non-)? P sure that's a thing one could do

Hugh Eckert

1 < number of replica swords I own < 100

Desdemona Gunn

Is that SKULLMASTER, MASTER OF SKULLS I see there? Also, it looks like her eye in Panel 3 didn’t get colored in fully? Unless that’s intentional.

Josh Moberly

Shitty Dan's a sword bro...oof.

Richard Riley

I mean, I have 4 and it isn't even a collection, I just sort of ended up with them.

Bagge

Yeah, yeah. But does he have a harpoon?

Prezo

next up, the ballad of shitty dan

Brooks Moses

Also if you are into the experimental side of things, the particle image velocimetry jokes write themselves. There was the time a friend and I were demonstrating particle image velocimetry in a hotel lobby and the staff asked us to stop because they were afraid of the floor getting slippery. (It was winter in Boston, there was this fierce floor-level draft that was easily visualized with soap bubbles....)

Brooks Moses

Convention auctions are dangerous things. I also have a sword I bought at one of them.

Azrux

Oh great, ANOTHER new character to fall in love with. When will it end, Jeph? WHEN WILL IT END?

Jackie Horn

HOW MANY SWORDS, SHITTY DAN??????? THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW.

Tudza

I own one replica sword. Actually, it is supposed to be pretty much on a par with the original materials wise, so it could probably be used as a real sword. The Model 1913 Cavalry Saber, or Patton Saber. It is not pretty. It is a mass produced pointy thing for killing people. It isn't even designed to be worn, it is designed to be attached to your saddle.

Craig Miller

Smoothed particle hydrodynamics, ftw!

Wolfger

Shitty Dan is more or less me, except I never went through a phase of not being myself.

Sean Rotter

OMG I just realized I am "shitty Dan" in RL"

R. Francis Smith

I myself have definitely never spent $300 on swords for SCA fencing well not more than 3 or 4 times

Eric Sieck

Is Shitty Dan is one of the BROS? Part of me thinks he’s too old, but then again Renee and Brun may be younger than Marten and Faye. Do we know?

Creepy Cat Lady

OMG THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY I LOVE SHITTY DAN

Dean Reilly

Ass Swordsman Tetsuo is loosely based on Shitty Dan's life.

Ariamaki

Oh no I kinda love this dude.

Simon Green

That’s what Renee said...

Drazi

That is a horribly awesome expression.

JoeTheCynic

I would like to see the swords, please. 😁

Why is this my life???

JD

Dammit Jeph, you already have too many likable characters. Stop making more.

VGreenGoblinV

I fucks with Dan. 😎👍🏽

Jaron Mortimer

Oh they fuckin.

Michael Boettger

Sam has at least one.

Joel Bateman

I kinda have a small feeling he's gonna shuck Renee's flesh oyster.

Hope

Oh no a self aware geek

Am Queue

I've always had a thing for knives. Every single carrying bag I own has a knife in it. I have to work to dig things out if I travel anywhere it's going to be a problem. My eldest child went on a Student Ambassador trip to Europe, and while in Toledo, Spain, bought a sword. I was like... I don't have a sword. I WANT A SWORD. And, while at a scifi convention art auction (a safe, low-key thing to do while trying to wake up on a Sunday Morning at the con...) a friend was listening to me being amused as I griped about how my KID has a SWORD from TOLEDO in SPAIN and I DON'T HAVE A SWORD... and ended up helping me win the bid on a replica sword from the first Highlander movie. So... I only have 1 replica sword. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!!!! (My kid's sword isn't a replica...)

Michael Boettger

6. He has at least 6.

Miyaa

I’m surprised he hasn’t spent considerable time and money buying authentic swords or building the crafting barn to make his own swords. And then Renée titters.