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A Mythical Match Up - A Jubilant Jinn part III
🕑 Added 2022-11-09 01:03:32 +0000 UTCMarcus and Roger took one look at Cecil and retreated into the crowd. Callum swallowed. He didn't go anywhere but felt, to his embarrassment, an impulse to follow them. He had no idea what Cecil was capable of. Putting aside the fact he was as ripped as a young Arnold Schwarzenegger he was apparently a being on a level comparable to Cindi, who was an interdimensional genie capable of granting wishes. And to say he looked displeased would be an understatement.
"Hi Cessy!" said Cindi cheerfully, seemingly oblivious to the murderous look on her fellow denizen of the Realms of Shaltae.
"Be gone," growled Cecil. Callum swore he saw Cecil's eyes flash white as he spoke (though it could have just been the club lights). "By the powers of the Celestial Realms I rebuke thee. Leave at once."
"Huh?" said Cindi.
"I said be gone!" repeated Cecil.
"I can't hear you," said Cindi, leaning forward. "You need to speak up!"
"I said BE GONE," roared Cecil.
To be fair, it was pretty noisy in the club. However, Callum was having no difficulty hearing Cecil speak and was standing about the same distance from him as Cindi was.
"But...we just got here!" whimpered Cindi.
"I care not!" snarled Cecil. "Depart or suffer my wrath!"
Callum looked around the club. Their little spat was already drawing unwanted attention. Not that either of the two beings seemed to notice.
"Oh, fine, you big meanie," sighed Cindi. She took Callum by the arm. "Come on. Let's find some other club."
"I am in no mood for games, slattern," snorted Cecil, folding his bulging arms. "Leave this plane of existence. Return to the cursed infernal realms of Shaltae. Or better yet, impale thyself on the spire of the Tower of Eternity or hurl thyself into the void!"
"But...I just got here!" repeated Cindi, releasing Callum.
Cecil narrowed his eyes.
"Though I am loath to resort to violence, particularly surrounded by so many fragile beings, I will not hesitate to drag thee back to the Realms by force," he said ominously.
"Whoa, whoa, hang on!" yelped Callum, holding out his hands. "You can't fight here!"
"He's right, Cessy," said Cindi, sticking out her tongue. "You think Mythic Matches would ever let you come back here if-"
"Cecil?"
A slightly overweight, bespectacled young woman with long auburn hair wearing silky red dress emerged from the crowd, who were watching the enfolding drama with a mixture of drunken amusement and apprehension. Cecil's expression turned waxen when he saw her.
"Who are they?" asked the woman, pointing at Callum and Cindi.
"Er...no-one of consequence, my sparrow," muttered the Celestial.
"Hiii~!" said Cindi, waving at the woman. "I'm Cimnendi'ayol, but you can call me-"
"She is of no consequence," interrupted Cecil angrily.
The woman looked at Cindi, then at Cecil, and then at Callum.
Callum grinned mirthlessly at her. "Mythic Matches, right?" he said.
"How do you...are you two from the Realms of Shaltae?" asked the woman.
"Uh, just her," said Callum, gesturing at Cindi with his thumb. Things had officially gone off the rails. He might as enjoy the ride as best he could.
"Ooo, Cessy, this your date?" cooed Cindi. She scurried over to the bewildered woman and examined her, looking at her skirt, face, chest and hair, much to the woman's discomfort.
"Get away from her!" barked Cecil.
"Question asked and answered," said Cindi happily. Though she actually did step back, Callum noted.
"She is my...companion for the evening, yes," admitted Cecil.
"Could someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?" shouted the woman.
"Language!" hissed Cecil. A few of those watching the quarrel laughed at this.
"Uh, I think I can clear this up," volunteered Callum. "Cindi and I are here on a date. Apparently, she and Cecil have history back home. As in, their people or nation or factions are at war or something. And Cecil wants Cindi to go back 'cause he doesn't want his enemies on Earth." He turned to Cindi. "Did I get it right?"
"More or less," said Cindi, wiggling a hand. "But-"
"Wait, for real, Cecil?" said the woman, turning to her burly companion.
"Forgive me, o fair one," said Cecil with a sigh. "I hoped not to expose you to this unsavory business. Though I promised an evening of delight and merriment, I am duty-bound to drive this...creature from your realm."
The woman stared at him incredulously. "So, you're going to, like, fight her?"
"No one's fighting anyone," snapped Callum. He turned to Cindi and Cecil. "Is there any way you two can settle? Without endangering us? Or the entire club?"
"Like...some kind of challenge?" said Cindi slowly.
"Uh, yeah, I guess."
A new song had started playing - one far more aggressive, more bass. Some of the onlookers had drifted away since it no longer appeared there'd be an actual, physical fight.
"A challenge?" said Cecil. "A contest of skill, power or wits?"
"Sure, why not?" said Callum unenthusiastically. "Winner stays, loser goes home."
"And may never return," added Cecil sharply.
"Aw, that's no fun," said Cindi. "How about a week?"
"A year and a day," barked Cecil.
"Mmmmm....one month."
"Fine."
"H-Hang on," protested the woman. "Can't you two just..." she turned to Cecil "Can't we just go someone else?" she pleaded.
"Alas, I cannot shirk my duty," said Cecil dramatically. "I am oath-bound to repel all influences of the Infernal realm in this world and all others." He bent down so he was eye level with her. "Never fear. I will triumph over this wicked harlot."
"Uh, okay," said the woman uncertainly.
"So," said Cecil, rising to face Cindi. "What will this challenge be?"
Cindi giggled and jumped up and down. For a moment she resembled an excited school girl, albeit one with breasts that would shame porn stars.
"Dance contest!" she cried, throwing her arms into the air.
Though the music continued to play and the club patrons continued dancing, talking, etc., somehow, a sort of metaphysical silence settled over the club. For a moment, Callum swore he heard a cricket chirping over the racket.
"What?" exclaimed Cecil.
"Huh?" said the woman.
"Oh god," murmured Callum.
"Dance contest!" repeated Cindi almost maniacally. "We dance to a song of our choice and let the humans decide who won!"
"Us?" said the woman.
"No no...er, sort of," said Cindi. "I mean ALL the humans here."
"You're joking, right?" said Callum. Then, he shook his head. "No, you're not joking," he chuckled humorlessly.
"Whaddaya say, Cessy?" said Cindi, not a hint of malice or mischief in her tone or expression.
Cecil, for the first time since appearing, seemed taken aback. "I...I do not believe the humans would agree to adjudicate such a competition," he managed.
"Nonsense! I'll ask!"
With that, Cindi scurried into the crowd towards the DJ booth, leaving Callum, Cecil, and his date standing there.
"Uh..." said the woman.
"Yeah, she does this," said Callum, rubbing his temples. He prayed the growing pressure in his skull wasn't the onset of another migraine.
"She is chaos personified," snorted Cecil, folding his arms. "Why you did not abandon her the moment this became apparent baffles me, human."
Callum shrugged.
Cindi waded through the crowd and reached the DJ booth. The DJ - a youngish looking man with light brown skin and a buzz cut wearing an outrageous neon-orange vest - was leaning down to listen to her.
As they waited, Callum glanced over at the woman. Though indeed a bit on the plump side, she had a very pleasant, friendly demeanor. Her heart-shaped face sported neat, symmetrical eyebrows, a smallish nose and smooth red lips. Though difficult to tell in the dim light of the club she was possibly in her mid-thirties.
"Uh, I never caught your name," said Callum, addressing the woman.
"Huh? Oh, Carol."
"I'm Callum."
"We...maybe after this is done, we should meet and swap info about Mythic Matches," said Carol.
"Yeah..." said Callum, smiling weakly.
A few seconds later, the music volume dropped significantly. The entire club stopped and looked around, perplexed. Callum spotted Cindi in the crowd hurrying towards them. Behind her, the DJ rose and addressed the crowd.
"Yo-yo-yo, folks, attention please," he called as hundreds of heads turned to face him. "I know this sounds crazy, but I was just approached by a lovely lady who wants to hold a bona fide dance-off with some fool." There was laughter from the crowd. "Now, we don't normally do this sorta thing, but, well, the little lady was mighty persuasive, and I checked with management and they're down with it."
A ragged cheer erupted from clusters in the crowd. Others just looked confused or amused.
"So bear with us a minute and make some space," continued the DJ. "Once I get the particulars, it's on!"
"I don't believe it," murmured Callum, over the crowd. "Does she have some sort of reality warping powers?"
"Does she?" asked Carol nervously.
Prompted by Cindi, Cecil reluctantly approached to the DJ booth and, after a brief conference, made his way back to the center of the dance floor. The crowd parted. Cindi joined Callum and Carol.
"Cessy goes first!" she explained.
"What were you talking about up there?"
"We needed to pick songs to dance to, silly!"
"Alright folks, here we go!" announced the DJ. "My main man Cecil is up first with an oldie but goodie from the one and only...Fatboy Slim!"
The DJ sat back in the booth. At first, Callum heard nothing save the din of the crowd. Cecil stood there silently, unmoving, stone-faced. Then, a chorus - initially faint, but rapidly growing in volume - filled the air.
Break eject, eject eject, break eject, eject eject...
"Oh God," breathed Callum. "You gotta be kidding..."
But sure enough, a funky hip-hop beat soon followed, seamlessly harmonizing with the synthesized chorus. The club - almost everyone this time - cheered in recognition.
"What's this song?" asked Carol.
"Really?" said Callum, surprised. "Weapon of Choice."
The music reached an energetic crescendo, whereupon Cecil threw out his arms and began dancing - his style a blend of freestyle and tap-dancing. Arms bobbing, feet bouncing, hips gyrating, he moved back and forth, bounding, turning, twisting; once even somersaulting. His technique fluctuated between formal and relaxed, wild and disciplined. The DJ rose and motioned frantically at someone in the back. Suddenly, the club lights dimmed and then a pair of spotlights focused on Cecil. The crowd roared with approval, many now clapping to the beat.
The volume dropped slightly. Cecil hunched, dug his hands into his pockets and shuffled to the left and right as the refrain 'walk without rhythm, you won't attract the worm' played. Then, he ran towards a nearby wall. The crowd managed to fall back just in time as he vaulted a good five feet up and ten feet along the wall. The club went wild. Callum's jaw dropped. He knew the guy wasn't human, but he'd never seen that sort of thing outside of a parkour video.
"No offense, but I don't think your date stands a chance," half-yelled Carol to be heard over the crowd.
"Uh, maybe?" said Callum. He turned to check on Cindi. The jinn was quietly watching Cecil's performance with an uncharacteristically focused expression.
As the song neared its finale Cecil stopped suddenly and raised his hands into the air. He shut his eyes, smiling softly, as the chorus from the beginning returned, and then slowly lowered them as the final chord played.
Enthusiastic applause filled the cavernous room. Cecil issued a low bow and walked - or rather, strutted - back to Callum, Carol and Cindi.
"Your turn," he said smugly. He wasn't even sweating.
"Oh babe, that was awesome!" crooned Carol.
Cecil nodded and gave her a quick hug.
Cindi put her hands on her hips and cocked her head from side to side. She seemed to be considering something.
"Very well," she said at last. "I suppose I don't have a choice in the matter." She suddenly turned to Carol. "My apologies, little one."
"Huh?" said Carol.
With that, Cindi trotted out to the still vacant dance floor and waived at the DJ.
"That was Cecil dancing to Weapon of Choice by Fatboy Slim!" cried the DJ over the fading applause. "Hard act to follow, but give it up for the challenger Cin-diii. This lovely lady will be dancing to another classic. No spoilers this time!"
An expectant silence followed. Cindi cracked her neck and stretched her arms. Callum swallowed. The song started with the clarion call of a trumpet accompanied by a melodious Latin-American voice calling 'no fighting, we got the refugees up in here.'
SHAKIRA SHAKIRA
Warm, radiant light effused Cindi as she started shaking her hips, hands clutching the back of her head. She moved with a beguiling, sensual ease, keeping to the rhythm.
"I know I heard this before on that one TV show," murmured Callum as he watched. "At that...tech convention..."
"It's Hips Don't Lie," said Carol. He gave Callum a look. "Lemme guess, Silicon Valley?"
"Uh."
While not as flashy or fast-paced as Cecil's dance, Cindi's performance spared no less energy or talent. Every step she took, every turn, every twist, every motion proceeded smoothly yet effortlessly. The style differed somewhat from how she had danced with Callum, resembling a slow-paced Brazilian samba. Or possibly belly-dancing. She slowly lifted her arms over her head and, fingers curled in opposite direction, literally shook her booty, considerably straining the lower portion of her already stretched dress. Cheers degenerated into hoots, howls and wolf-whistled. Cindi did not appear to mind; indeed, the attention seemed to invigorate her.
She started side-stepping, pirouetting and lunging. Her moves became more intricate, incorporating complicated footwork and astounding flexibility. The crowd started clapping to the beat again - this time, Callum noticed, with far more enthusiasm. He also noted the blissful smile on Cindi's face as she danced and, more importantly, how it contrasted with Cecil's cool, almost dispassionate expression when he had performed. Cindi was actually enjoying herself. And it was making a difference.
As the song began to wind down, Cindi drew back and slowly stepped away, hips still bobbing to the rhythm. Her gaze briefly met Callum's. He swallowed as he looked upon her sparkling blue eyes and felt an intense desire flare within his soul - not necessarily for Cindi, curiously, but life, love and the universe.
Then, with a final trumpeted flourish, the song ended. Cindi slowed to a halt. A moment of silence passed. Then, the entire club erupted with thunderous applause.
"Oh, man!" cried the DJ over the clamor. "Give it up for Cindi dancing to Hips Don't Lie by Sha-kiiiira!"
Waiving and blowing kisses to her newfound fans, Cindi skipped over to Callum and the others. All three were staring at her in amazement.
"That was...wow!" breathed Callum.
"Thanks, cutie!" giggled Cindi, leaning over to give him a peck on the cheek. Callum turned bright red.
"Gotta be honest, don't think Shakira herself could have done better," said Carol, shaking her head in wonderment. "But who won? Do we, like take a vote or-"
"She did!"
It had been Cecil who had spoken.
The celestial walked up to Cindi and then fell to his knees.
"Forgive me, o radiant one, o warden of my heart," crooned Cecil, eyes moist, lips quivering. "Thy magnificent dance has rekindled a flame in my heart. I should have never strayed from thee. Would you accept this foolish and unworthy cherub once more?"
"What?" shouted Callum.
"Cecil!" cried Carol.
"I'm sorry, my sparrow," said Cecil, not bothering to turn to face her. "In truth, I have only ever loved one other in this world or the Realms - Cimnendi'ayol." He spoke her name with almost religious reverence.
Wide-eyed, slack-jawed, Callum looked up at Cindi for some explanation. She just shrugged. By this time the DJ had started playing another song and the crowd had already lost interest in the four.
"He's my...what do you call it here? Ah yes, my ex," she said.
"Your ex?"
"Yep!"
"Cecil! You...you...goddamn bastard!" fumed Carol.
"But aren't you guys, y'know, natural enemies or something?" said Callum, still trying to come to grips with what was happening. "You're an infernal and he's a celestial?"
"An insignificant trifle," snapped Cecil. "True love trumps all."
"Again, sorry," said Cindi, addressing Carol. "I thought something like this might happen but he DID insist."
Carol sputtered. She looked down at Cecil and up at Cindi. She wasn't sure who to direct her anger at now.
"Well, that was fun!" said Cindi brightly. "But I think it's time to go." She tugged on Callum's arm. "Come on, cutie! Do you know any other fun places to go?"
"Wha-"
Cindi then more or less dragged Callum towards the exit.
"W-Wait, don't go!" pleaded Cecil, reaching out. "I cannot live wi-OW!" he yelped as Carol kicked him in the shins.
"Why are you still here?" snapped Carol. "You lost, didn't you? Get the fuck back to the Realms."
With that, she stormed out of the club, leaving Cecil on the dance floor, stunned and heart-broken.
* * *
"You feeling well, cutie?" inquired Cindi as they stepped out of the club and onto the street. The mob surrounding the entrance had thinned considerably from when they had first arrived.
"Yeah," lied Callum, wincing. The stress of the last hour coupled with the alcohol he'd imbibed - not to mention the pounding bass of the music - had taken a toll on his nerves. Unless he was very lucky or careful, he'd be suffering from a migraine soon.
"You don't look well," said Cindi, concerned.
"Well, fine...I'm not okay," said Callum gritting his teeth. "I get migraines sometimes and I think one is creeping up. Could we just head home? Not sure I could even handle a coffee house now."
"Awww, are you sure we can't go anywhere?"
"I just don't have it in me, sorry."
"It's all right," said Cindi, sounding disappointed yet sympathetic.
Callum looked over at Cindi and felt a pang of guilt. She was just so...nice.
"Look, I'd love to take you anywhere in the city, but when these hit I'm basically useless," he explained. "God, I wish I never got these goddamn migraines," he hissed.
* * *
Callum groaned as he woke. His mouth was dry and acerbic. His limbs were sore, stiff and weak and his eyes felt as though they had been stuffed with hot cotton. The blankets felt somehow too warm yet not warm enough. Curiously, he did not have a headache.
He stirred, sat up in his bed and gazed around his room. He realized he was still wearing his clothes from their night out.
"Cindi?" he croaked.
Silence.
"Cindi?" he repeated, raising his voice.
There was no reply. Then, a few, weary neurons flared to life. If his memory were to be trusted, Cindi had led him to his bedroom, gave him a kiss and exited the room. She'd given no indication whether she'd be leaving Earth or spending the night.
After a few false starts, Callum managed to extract himself from bed and staggered out in to the hall. He made a beeline for the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of water out of his refrigerator and drained a third of its volume with a single gulp. He wiped his mouth and looked around his apartment. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
Suddenly, he felt something buzz in his pocket. He took out his cell phone (he'd even neglected to take it out before crashing on the bed) and saw an alert on the Mythic Matches app. The sight of the icon snapped Callum out of his delirium. He tapped the screen and, after a few seconds, checked his messages.
thanks for a wonderful time, cute! send me a missive when you awake.
Callum's bloodshot eyes widened.
I'm awake! he tapped furiously. He hesitated, not sure where to go from there. What happened? I remember the club pretty well but not much after we left.
He pressed 'send.' A few seconds later, Cindi sent a reply.
good morning sleepyhead! Not much. We arrived at your home, you said you weren't feeling well so I helped you to your bed and that was that.
Callum stared at the screen for a good minute.
I actually had a really fun time too. He realized he was shaking a little, but continued composing the message. Is there any chance we could do something like this again soon?
He couldn't believe he had just written it, but meant every word.
Mm. maybe. But don't count on it.
Callum's heart sunk.
Did you get back together with Cecil?
Cessy? Oh no no no no. haven't seen him since last night and I'm SO over him. For now, anyhow. In truth, no one being can ever hold my interest forever. Life is a splendid feast and I wish to sample every delicacy on offer!
"Oh," said Callum gloomily. Then, something occurred to him. He almost didn't message her but, eventually, bitterness and curiosity won over despair.
OK. So, were you serious about granting me a wish? Or was that just a joke?
No joke, silly! And I already granted your wish.
"What?" murmured Callum.
I don't remember making a wish, he texted.
but you did! You wished you'd never be troubled by migraines again. And so you never will!
Callum eyes widened.
His kneejerk reaction was to rage and curse. He could have wished for a million dollars, a new car, superhuman strength...
...Then he grudgingly admitted to himself that being freed from a life-long affliction like migraines was a pretty good prize, all things considered.
Farewell, Callum! Remember, life is a buffet! Sample all you can!
Callum stood there for a time, slowly processing everything that had happened over the last twelve hours. He looked down at the Mythic Matches app. Multiple new menus and options had unlocked. Then, his phone buzzed in his hand. He'd received a message - not a Mythic Matches message, but a good old-fashioned text. He didn't recognize the number and it wasn't on any of his contacts. He tapped the alert.
Hi, this is Carol from XZ. That crazy Cindy got a hold of my phone number somehow and sent me your contact information. Sorry if things got awkward. Do you still want to get together and talk about the app? I'm over Cecil, by the way.
After reading the text, Callum looked up, and smiled softly.
