Der-shing Helmer
patreon
TM Ch6: Thumbs pg41+42+43+44+45!!
🕑 Added 2019-12-01 02:23:27 +0000 UTCprevious pages: https://www.patreon.com/posts/31807338
first page: https://www.patreon.com/posts/30584880
DONE
Was trying to finish before the end of November despite holiday hosting/ shenanigans... just made it, haha. Sorry the art is so [terrrible], at this point I'm kinda just posting it for you guys since the end in my head the big problems have been resolved past the point of needing to draw it explicitly.
This version of the comic is very VERY rough. The next part of the process, which will take place over the course of Dec will be all about refining:
- Accordioning: the script is roughly paced, like a broken accordion with peaks and valleys all over the place. I'm going to be smooshing some scenes a bit closer together to increase the speed, and letting other sections breathe more. Now that it's all laid out in rough form I can clearly see what lags and which parts are too confusingly short.
- Camerawork: the angles here are somewhat limited by my traditional drawing skills, which are in a word, shit-tastic. I can't draw some of the angles I see in my head because I'm just not proficient enough, BUT I can do it in photoshop where I have access to ruler tools and perspective tools and all that stuff. I felt like there were too many over-the-shoulder shots so I want to pare those down specifically.
- Lighting: the lighting here was mostly just faked, but part of the reason I draw these is to stare at things long enough that my brain fills in some details for me, like where the light sources should be, or what the scene colors should be. That will be revised entirely for the final aside from some silhouetting I liked in the sketches.
- Gun: I will have to learn how to draw this instead of just like, writing that I don't know what they look like lol
- Horse: see (Gun)
- Continuity: Some things I didn't really mention that happened in Chapter 3, because frankly I forgot, lol. Soli got shot in the shoulder and knocked out and probably should have light pneumonia or something, as she's sleeping in a cold cell. She should also be favoring her right arm. I also had it so someone (Amen) sewed the buttons back on her shirt, which I really should be writing into the dialogue because it's a cute detail, but didn't get it in there on the first try.
- Dialogue: the dialogue here is extremely sketchy/ rough, it doesn't have a lot of character flavor. It's mostly to get the plot going in the right direction and isn't indicative of slang or accent or this or that in a consistent way. That's a no-no, since every word on the page should either be giving you interesting info OR building the character's imprint on your mind. The last thing you want is for people to be bored by the text and skim through and look at the pics only, so that is a big weakness for this draft that will be corrected for the final.
- Details: There are a ton of environment-specific details that I am accumulating in my head as I draw as things that need to be filled in. Where does Soli get attached to when Amen leaves the room? How does Amen tie Alamand's hands? What is in a stable located in the desert? where is the water stored? I didn't see storage there and it kinda bugs me. Is there a well? or something? Are there roads? Trees outside? When the other police are drunk are they drinking around a table or fire or what? Do the windows have sills or frames? Are the steps made of stone or wood? If wood where did it come from? I get stuck on some of this at times and have to invent a railroad or some random story element I wasn't expecting to explain it, but that's part of the fun. Also you wouldn't want to read a comic where I wasn't thinking about if these guys have toilet paper at the latrine or not, would you???
Anyways, those are the biggest considerations! It has been a VERY good decision to redo this chapter so far as I have caught a bunch of things I wouldn't have otherwise (or would have had to spend 3x as long to work it in without this amount of pre-planning).
The Meek will be back in January. I'll be posting the original CH 6 sketch PDF if you want to see how awful it is, and will have more Mare content and other Meek planning (I seriously need to learn how to gun). See you in December with more Good Stuff~
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From 2007-2009 I drew about 320 pages of The Meek as thumbnail sketches. I have a few of the full sketch chapters posted to Patreon, you can check some of em out here:
- Chapter 1: pt1 https://www.patreon.com/posts/30685730 and pt 2 https://www.patreon.com/posts/30686788
- Chapter 2: https://www.patreon.com/posts/tm-ch2-original-5081753
- Chapter 3: Boy howdy u got another PDF comin I guess
- Chapter 4: https://www.patreon.com/posts/tm-ch4-original-4546417
- Chapter 5: https://www.patreon.com/posts/tm-ch5-original-14684853
- Chapter 6: you're reading the second attempt at this!
- Chapters 7 & 8: maybe one day
Comments
Saberbeam
Hey, that panel two gun ain't half bad, I definitely get the idea of what you're going for. Admittedly I remember it being sort of old school Colt style from earlier in the comic, I think? But for a sketch it's definitely getting the point across in terms of details :D Mostly just the proportions that need ironing out, assuming I even know what I'm talking about lol And now I'm wondering if Soli went with a cross draw carry out of habit or if she was trying to work around her shoulder wound and it just didn't help?
Liz
Yay! You made it! Poor Amen tho. It's good to see this rough 1st draft. A good reminder that the finished pages do not spring forth from your head like Athena did.
