sainttsebastian
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Last time, I wrote about how scary it was to approach penetr..
🕑 Added 2025-02-15 22:46:11 +0000 UTCLast time, I wrote about how scary it was to approach penetration as a (maybe? we're still in therapy) straight guy. That first step—the moment of relaxing, of allowing something in—was like stepping off a ledge. Not because it hurt (though it did stretch), but because of what it meant. About my body. About control. About the way we—especially men—are taught to think about pleasure.
This time, I wanted to go deeper, both physically and mentally. No more just fingers or the occasional experiment in the shower. I got real toys. Not the terrifying ones people joke about, but ones made for actual human use. Silky, curved, weighted in ways I didn’t expect.
The first few minutes? Still nerve-wracking. I’m still learning to let go.v Honestly, still hurt. Still learning that being opened isn’t about “giving up” anything, but about receiving something new. There was a moment, halfway through, when I felt something shift—not just inside, but in my head. A kind of quiet permission to feel good, even if it was unfamiliar.
There’s a world here I don’t fully understand yet. And yeah, I still keep my voice down when I write this because my flatmate’s in the next room, and there’s something almost too raw about admitting it out loud. But I also don’t want to shut myself down anymore. In fact if you watch.... I tried to be heard and express myself.
Maybe next time, I’ll find that prostate I keep hearing about. Maybe you can help. Maybe you can put you hand over my mouth
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Length 8+ mins
