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Been alive, just sad 🤪👈 (Explained below) If you’d like to ..
🕑 Added 2023-08-31 07:11:38 +0000 UTC Been alive, just sad 🤪👈 (Explained below) If you’d like to help, it’s always greatly appreciated! Donations will primarily go towards things that help my sanity like food, art supplies, or maybe a new book 😌 Explanation of where I’ve been 💕 I felt ill in late march- I was sick every day and just felt like I had the flu, and took a digital test to rule out the possibility of being 🤰🏻. It came back positive, and I was extremely conflicted on how to feel at the time; as I was not in a position to raise one- But also desperately wanted my own family. Biologically I had already begun an attachment to them. My partner didn’t want us to continue with keeping it, because of our living situation, expenses, and physical limitations, and we wanted to provide the best for them. I reluctantly agreed- but cried myself to sleep for 2 weeks after having to make that choice. Especially because I had truly wanted to work hard to be able to provide the best I could for them, even if we hadn’t planned this. Well, after a long and emotional few more weeks- May finally came around and my appointment was scheduled for then. And I did it. But I still felt unwell. Physically and mentally- turned out that 2 weeks after my initial appointment I had to get a small surgery to correct what had gone wrong. It brought up all the emotional pain again. My partner broke up with me, in the midst of all of this.And I felt more alone than ever. Grieving two losses hasn’t been easy, and I’ve been stuck in a deep depression since. It’s the end of August now and I still miss my little one. And I haven’t yet found anything that fills the void in my heart that losing those people has made. But I’m still trying to keep my chin up. Thank you so very much for reading this far. This has been a difficult year for me, and I’m pretty closed off IRL, so the thought that people online care at all is really heartwarming.
