BarCalak

Chapter 9.5: Numero Uno

Chapter 9.5: Numero UnoLA, California. January 2003.“Dōzo yoroshiku onegai itashimasu.” Those were the first words out of my mouth as I shook the hand of the person in front of me and gave them a polite bow. He was Japanese, and I, who stumbled through that sentence with what was probably horrible elocution, am obviously not. But I gave it a shot, regardless.Ben Wyatt, my faithful financial manager and companion for this meeting, jolted beside me. “I didn’t know you could speak Japanese...

Chapter 9: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome

Chapter 9: Carpal Tunnel SyndromeHeathrow Airport, London. September 2002.I enjoy showing off as much as the next guy, probably even more so if I was completely honest with myself. But even I could tell when something left the realm of good taste and became wholly unnecessary.Point of fact, my current predicament.Today was the last of our allotted days we’d had permission to film in active Heathrow for Love, Actually. Despite that, though, I was being forced to run across it again for the umpt...

Chapter 8.5: Upbeat

Chapter 8.5: UpbeatLondon, UK. July 2002Forget Harry Potter, I should’ve been the new James Bond.Call me super spy in disguise. I wore a cap and a face mask. Even my sense of style was twenty years ahead of the curve.No shades, though. I wasn’t that much of a douche just yet.There was a banner for the upcoming release of ‘Chamber of Secrets’ plastered on the train’s wall just behind me. Not even the man poring over his copy of ‘Goblet of Fire’ noticed.I jostled as the train did. Pl...

February 2024 Release Update (1)

Hello to all new and current members! Just a quick update on the schedule for this week's releases for paid members.Thursday February 8th 2024I'm on TV! Chapters 8.5, 9, and 9.5 Friday February 9th Witch Weekly 7th edition.I am also currently working on character profiles for all the OCs in IOTV and will be releasing that soon as well.Thanks for your continued support!Bar Calak

Character Profile Poll

Recently I've received request from readers to create and include pictures of the OC's in IoTV! I thought it'd be a good ideato turn them into a full profile with complementary images.The only issue is I cant draw worth a damn. My only recourse is to potentially use AI image gen to accomplish this.So I leave the decision to you lovely people. Should I use AI art to create the profile images, or not do it?

I'm on TV! Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Stand-ins & Stunts.Leavesden Studio, UK. April 2002Chris blew his whistle in short, sharp bursts to organize the throng of children occupying the set. It reminded one of being in PE class.I hopped slightly on my toes, testing the crash mat beneath my feet. I felt the wires attached to the harness under my costume tug uncomfortably. Kenneth Brannagh settled his arm on my shoulder as we took places for the shot.We were both standing on the narrow dueling platform with Felton and Rickman...

I'm on TV! Chapter 7.5

Chapter 7.5: Rapid Fire.Leavesden Studio, UK. January 2002.[The three actors playing the Dursleys sat around the dining table eating their food. Fiona Shaw, who played Petunia, fussed over Harry Melling as Dudley, who was eagerly scarfing down the food that had long since gone cold. I was in the kitchen area of the set, pretending to fry some greasy bacon.Richard Griffiths, reprising his role as Vernon, cleared his throat. “Now, as we all know, today is a very important day. We should all be i...

Witch Weekly 6th Edition: Veela Dilemma Part 3

Veela Dilemma Part 3Featuring: Harry Potter, Ginny Weasley, Gabrielle DelacourTags: Public, Swimsuit, VoyeurThe beach would be safe, wouldn’t it?The entire household was all dressed and ready to hit the sand, sun, and salt today. The kids especially were on the edge of wetting themselves in excitement at finally being able to put the Delacour beach front, their own private slice of tropical paradise, to good use.And by kids I included George, Ron, Bill, and Arthur, too. Victoire and Teddy were...

Witch Weekly 5th Edition: Dust Snorkack

Dust SnorkackFeaturing: Harry Potter, Luna LovegoodTags: Maid, Shower, Hand jobI apparated into Grimmauld place and found it suspiciously clean. My wand was out immediately.I’d sent Kreacher off to live with Andromeda so that he could help care for Teddy, so the onus of Grimmauld’s housekeeping fell solely on my shoulders.I heard light clanking coming from the direction of the kitchen. I stealthily made my way down the hall.I swiped two fingers on the banister. No dust. The usual state of my...

January 31st Update Notice

Hello all members!I've updated I'm on TV! with chapters 6, 6.5, and 7 as promised.EDIT:Witch Weekly 5th and 6th edition a well as the 2 BONUS chapters of IoTV! chapters 7.5 and 8 are are live!I hope you all enjoy reading the latest additions!Much loveBar Calak

I'm on TV! Chapter 7

Chapter 7: UnscriptedWB London Branch, UK. November 2001As she strode into the meeting room with Columbus, Kloves, and Heyman, Jo Rowling felt like, for once, she was the one in the lead.It was time to finalise the screenplay.She’d been in these meetings a hundred times before and usually felt like she was shouting at a brick wall. Well, today she had a sledgehammer in the form of the strategy that Bas and herself had worked out over the last few weeks.He understood what the core of the story ...

I'm on TV! Chapter 6.5

Chapter 6.5: Snakes & Ladders (of the corporate variety)Beverly Hills, 90210. May 2001.Ostentatious, it wasn’t a word used a lot these days by people who themselves weren’t pretentious. It basically meant all glamour and no class. It was the most appropriate word I had in my vocabulary to describe the building and interior of the Endeavor agency.The moment I walked in, a blast of mega-mall level air conditioning slapped me in the face.Even ignoring the confusing and tasteless contemporary ar...

I'm on TV! Chapter 6

Chapter 6: NewboyLondon, UK. March 2001.Shooting wrapped towards the end of Feb, 2001. Almost immediately after the wrap party, there was a single press conference scheduled for the three of us - Emma, Rupert, and I - to attend.It was surreal. A massive hotel banquet hall was packed to the brim with cameras and reporters. The lights flashed brightly and incessantly.It was a wonder none of us went deaf from the clamouring voices or fell into seizures from the shuttering lens flashes.While they fi...

Update Schedule for Members Jan 2024 (2)

My utmost thanks and welcome to all members!As part of my ongoing effort to make my patreon subscription worth your while I am providing an updated schedule for this week's releases.On Wednesday, January 31st 2024 I will upload the following :I'm on TV! - Chapters 6, 6.5, and 7Witch Weekly - 5th edition, 6th editionThese will remain exclusive to you till the 7th of February.Additionally I will also release BONUS chapters of IoTV! at least one chapter to a maximum of 2 bonus chapters by t...

Paid Content Update Notice

To all my paid members,As promised, here are the advanced chapters:I'm on TV - chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 5.5Witch Weekly - 3rd edition, 4th editionNow officially available to you!Let me know your impressions!Bar Calak

Witch Weekly 4th Edition: Veela Dilemma Part 2

Witch Weekly 4th Edition: Veela Dilemma Part 2Featuring: Harry Potter, Gabrielle DelacourTags: Hidden sex, Yandere, AnalIt was my second day on vacation with the Weasleys in France, and breakfast was in full swing. Coincidentally, my penis was also in full schwing.When the meal had begun, I’d done my best to hide myself between Andromeda and Hermione at the table. Given the smoldering looks Gabrielle was sending me, last night’s activities were at the forefront of her mind and it was my hope...

Witch Weekly 3rd Edition: Hogwarts Sexpress

Hogwarts SexpressFeaturing: Harry Potter, Bathsheda BabblingTags: Hidden Sex, MILF, TeacherEighth year was going to be interesting. As I glanced outside my compartment’s window, it felt eerily reminiscent of first year. I sat alone in my compartment, watching as stragglers ran onto the train when the whistle blew.I spotted the aurors, with their conspicuous red robes, policing the platform.That might’ve been me in another life, but truth be told, I’d had just about enough of the ministry. ...

I'm on TV! Chapter 5.5

Chapter 5.5 Sticks & StonesAlnwick Castle, UK. December 2000.My shooting schedule was brutal.In between the interior school scenes filmed at Durham Cathedral - such as the transfiguration classes - I was also shuttled back and forth to Leavesden studio, where the Privet drive scenes were being filmed in tandem.We even got to include the sassy moments between the Dursleys and Harry!Alnwick Castle was also on the list of destinations - all the exterior Hogwarts shots were filmed here, like flying ...

I'm on TV! Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Polaroid ExpressYou never know how much or how little you have until you put your life into boxes.A week’s worth of clothes, a well-worn pair of trainers, a folder full of documents, a camera, and a toothbrush. My entire existence fit into a single, medium-sized duffle bag with enough extra room for a tiffin and thermos.Even my scrawny arms could lift that.No. What weighed a hell of a lot more than the life I was taking with me was the life I was about to leave behind.My dorm at the...

I'm on TV! Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Brass Tacks & Income TaxThe sixth day had passed, but day six had yet to arrive. Mrs Stephens anxiously busied herself around our squeaky clean suite while I moped on the couch.“Ooh…” she sat beside me and clasped my hands between hers. “Don’t let this get you down, dear. You gave it your best, didn’t you?”“... It’s still disheartening.”“I know, sweet boy, I know.” Then the phone rang. It could only be for one reason; Mrs Stephens looked particularly put out. �...

Update Schedule for Members Jan 2024

My sincerest thanks and welcome to my first few members!In order to ensure none of you suffer from buyer's remorse and get your money's worth I'm outlining my update schedule for upcoming advanced chapters.On January 24th 2024 (GMT +7) I will release the following:I'm on TV - chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 5.5Witch Weekly - 3rd edition, 4th editionThese chapters will remain exclusive to you till the 31st, which is when the next batch of advanced members only chapters will be publi...

Witch Weekly 2nd Edition : Veela Dilemma Part 1

Witch Weekly No.2 Veela Dilemma Part 1Featuring: Harry Potter, Gabrielle DelacourTags: Hidden Sex, Yandere, Oral“Good morning, Harry!” normally having that shouted in your ear by a five-year-old child while the vigorously shook your shoulders a little too early in the morning isn’t a pleasant way to wake up.But Harry Potter was perfectly abnormal, thank you very much. “Mornin’ Teddy,” Harry struggled out, a smile on his face, despite the gravel in his throat from freshly waking up. O...

Witch Weekly 1st Edition : S.P.U.M. (Society for the Pleasure of Unappreciated Muggleborns)

S.P.U.M. (Society for the Pleasure of Unappreciated Muggleborns)Featuring: Harry Potter, Hermione GrangerTags: DomSub, Office, Friends to LoversDespite it being merely her first year at the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, Hermione found the ministry arm as difficult to wrangle as the XXXXX beasts they were known for.“By pushing this mandate through, I’m confident that not only can we establish a proper standard for house-elf care, but we can also bolster the d...

Official Release of Witch Weekly!

A collection of smut focused oneshots and multi chapter minisiries set in the Harry Potter Universe. Featuring new witches and original premises every week - all revolving around Post-Hogwarts, 8th year, and AU's.2 chapters every week! Advanced chapter according to tiers.

I'm on TV! Chapter 3

Chapter 3: JK ain’t Kidding AroundI found myself once again in a nondescript room in an office building for my third round audition. At least, this time the lights were shining everywhere rather than directly on to my face.It was nice being able to see who I was performing for, for once.And what a cast it was. Chris Columbus the director, Steve Kloves the screenwriter, and most importantly, the big boss lady herself JK Rowling.There were a smattering of others, but I wouldn’t be able to tell...

I'm on TV! Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Will you Marriot me?“Oh, this is so terribly exciting! I can’t believe we’re in LA. Have your ears popped yet, dear? Mine seem to be rather stubbornly fuzzy.” Mrs Stephens - who had generously chaperoned me across the pond asked me. I dug into my pocket and found a Werther’s original butterscotch sweet and handed it to her.“Suck on this for a bit. It’ll equalize your sinuses.” I did my best to peer beyond the bustling crowd at the arrival hall at LAX to look for our dr...

I'm on TV! Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Warn A BrotherCardiff, Wales. January 2000.Transmigrating twenty-two years in the past into the body of a seven-year-old may seem like a massive inconvenience, but to the ill-prepared mind, re-life was the next great adventure. The mechanics of my arrival in the time-stream would remain a mystery till my dying day.My last memory of my past (technically the defunct future) was an overwhelming impulse to sneeze - an impulse I readily capitulated to and suddenly found myself in a younger...

Official Release of I'm on TV!

A casual transmigration career building slice-of-life fic. With access to modern internet watch how the MC exploits foreknowledge to turn himself into an entertainment mogul over the course of decades. This is wish fulfilment without any shame. The story of Harry Potter, as told through the lens of the movies, and the changes within.3 chapters every week! Advanced chapters according to tiers.I sneezed as an adult in 2022 and suddenly woke up as an eight-year-old in 1998. Guess it's time to t...

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