janklord

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janklord posts

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THE PROXY

*New Link*PATRON SAINTS.I write to you on a dilapidated and defiled Netherrealm keyboard. Episode 6 is ready for you. Some audio was chewed up by our depraved compressor, and will be fixed for the wide release tomorrow...but not even MS-DOS and dial-up will keep this new episode from you.Please. Enjoy.xoxo,The Oracle

Gifts of Paradise

PATRON SAINTS.With no delay whatsoever, you will find winners of various cardboards below.JUNE GIVEAWAYFallen Empires Booster: Evan G. Well done and thank you, Evan.JULY GIVEAWAYSStandard Booster: Matthew Everhart. Everhart, the Ever-Faithful. Enjoy your bounty!Fallen Empires Booster: Majin Shinsa. You splendid fiend...Jank Deck Giveaway: Jordan Gernsbacher. Congratulations, Jordan. Rather than the winning deck from Episode 5, you will be receiving your very own SEALED BRAWL KIT. This includes t...

A Meager Survey

As the Demon plots future torment for the dudes, it is eager to know what you might delight in watching a few episodes from now. Let us know what you think and the Demon will take it into consideration!

SURVEY & PATREON UPDATES

Dearest Janklords,We hope you enjoyed the latest episode. We’re daring to say that you’ll enjoy August’s episode even more...Today’s order of business: A Survey & Patreon UpdatesPart I: The SurveyAs the Demon plots future torment for the dudes, it is eager to know what you might delight in watching a few episodes from now.We'll be posting a survey along with this post--take a moment to let us know what you want to see. The Demon will take it into consideration...Part II: Patreon Upda...

EPISODE 5 IS HERE

This is a new and improved link (there was a hiccup in the one we sent yesterday).Giveaways coming at you v soon.Again, you're all the GREATEST.xoxo

EPISODE 5

Behold: https://youtu.be/QyxhVzh-zVgThanks for waiting, janklords. You’re truly amazing.

Something wicked this way comes...

Janklords,You've been most patient as we've bided our time these last 2 months. The Demon wanted us to assure you that your patience has not been in vain. Within a week, Episode 5 will be granted unto you...and Episode 6 will follow shortly thereafter. Prepare your bodies, for they are not ready.Unending thanks to our very own Jankmaster, Emory, for creating this most flattering rendition of the Demon's visage. The Demon is quite pleased.xoxo,The Dudes

The Return (and giveaways)

Janklords!Our return is nigh. Exciting times are ahead of us on the Quest. Episode 5 will be revealed in the coming weeks, and we've got some absurd things planned for July. You'll find the April & May giveaways below. Patrons at the INDULGENT JANKSTER level and above will also be getting a little bonus treat this week.Sincerely,Your biggest fans (Daniel, John, Joe, and Tim)APRIL FALLEN EMPIRES BOOSTER WINNER: Jonathan Nichols. Jonathan is our Thirteenth and luckiest patron. Thank you fo...

HOW TO WIN A PRERELEASE

CHECK IT OUT, EVERYONE: https://youtu.be/IayZkoO11gc

MARCH GIVEAWAYS

Whoa. YOU'RE MULTIPLYING!We can't thank you enough, patrons new and old, for supporting us in this endeavour. It means so much that you believe in the Quest. We are thrilled to have you as fellow janklords.It's time to announce our giveaways for March.THE FALLEN EMPIRES BOOSTER GOES TO...LAWRENCE WYNN!Lawrence was the 15th patron to join the vanguard. A most glorious number indeed. Thank you, Lawrence. Enjoy the smell of that booster...lord knows it's the most valuable thing you&...

EPISODE 4: Field Trip

It's here: https://youtu.be/JJ99R1TQtSUEnjoy, dear Patrons.P.S. Giveaways for March will be announced this week. Including the winner of the victor's deck from THIS episode. Which one could it be, I wonder...

#4

Dearest Patrons,Episode 4 releases TOMORROW. This link will take you to a super secret preview version for your and our eyes only. There are a few hiccups that will be fixed for tomorrow, but we wanted to get this monster out ASAP. We’ll update the post with the fresh version once the dungeon PC finishes rendering.Enjoy the carnage that awaits you...

FEBRUARY GIVEAWAY

PATRON SAINTS. DEAREST BENEFACTORS.It’s high time we give away our February booster. Patrons at the QUESTLING level and up are eligible for this reward.The name randomly plucked from the roiling cauldron by the Wheelmaster himself is…DANIEL ALDRICH.Daniel holds the title of THE TENTH Patron in the halls of the Netherrealm. Today, we raise a chalice to you, Daniel. Congratulations. May you open something worth more than .79 cents.We’ll be back soon, janklords. Episode 4 approaches.xoxo

HOW TO SHUFFLE A COMMANDER DECK

Please enjoy an early viewing of this shuffling tutorial.We <3 you all.xoxo,The Demon & Co.

WE’VE BEEN BUSY.

Hi, janklords.We’ve been busy—hanging out next to the toilet.Fun stuff is on the horizon! See you soon.xoxo

Giveaways, baby.

Greetings, janksters!Without any ado, it's time to announce our giveaways for the month of January.The FALLEN EMPIRES booster goes to...RAYMOND B. Raymond entered the fold in January as our EIGHTH patron. Thank you! We hope you're psyched to open that sweet, sweet '94 cardboard, Raymond.The winning Jank Deck from Episode 3 (we won't spoil it if you haven't watched it) goes to...LITTLE FX RADIO. FACT: LittleFX was our very FIRST patron. Ever. We can't think of a better hom...

THE PUNISHERS ARE HERE.

Episode 3 cannot be contained and must be released tomorrow...lest it destroy its cage.ENJOY YOUR EARLY VIEW, MOST GLORIOUS PATRONS: https://youtu.be/-qam41NNHPYWe'll talk at you soon.xoxo,The Oracle, on behalf of the Demon

Season's Greetings from the Netherrealm!

Happy Holidays, janklords!We want to say THANK YOU for making merry with us these past few months. Your generosity and support are inspiring and we can't thank you enough. But we'll try!It's also time to announce the winners of the November & December Fallen Empires giveaways. The winners are...NOVEMBER: Matthew SpidleDECEMBER: Ryan WalkerCongrats! Your boosters will be in the mail after Christmas. Here's to hoping you open Rainbow Vale!Now, Episode 3 needs finishing and we need ...

How to Pai-Gow (an Interlude)

Dearest Patrons,Our first short-form video releases tomorrow, but here it is for your early viewing pleasure.The editors still have a few tweaks the Demon has demanded, but this is basically what the public will see tomorrow.THE DEMON HOPES YOU ENJOY IT.

The New (under)World Order

Janklords. Patron Saints. Companions on The Quest.It’s been a wild two months. Thank you for coming alongside us on this mad and beautiful quest. The response has been overwhelming and totally unexpected--most humbling of all has been the response from you, our band of fellow janksters.Our goal from the start has been to have fun, get janked, and make people smile. Thank you for supporting that. It means the world to us.We first sold our souls to the Demon over a year ago. It took 9+ months, 1...

HAPPY HALLOWEEN. Episode 2 is here.

The demon thanks you for your patience waiting for the next episode. It took the lives of 3 editors and a blood mage to get it finished by October. So here it is.https://youtu.be/Ke6l7OH9RoEThe demon had hoped to let you see this a full day before the plebs, but technology in the dungeons being what it is…we barely janked it out in time. The episode will go live to the public shortly after this post (it might still be processing if you see this right away).To make it up to you, the demon will ...

EPISODE 2 TEASER

The demon ordered us to put this here before it goes live tomorrow.Soon, friends.xoxo,The Oracle

SEPTEMBER GIVEAWAY

Patrons. The time has come to announce the (random) winner of the September FALLEN EMPIRES booster giveaway. Those at the QUESTLING tier or higher are eligible for this gift...which is all of you (you're amazing).The winner is: DAWSON DEMARS.Congratulations, Dawson. The pack will be on its way from the Netherrealm to you shortly. Let us know what you find inside...If you didn't win, fear not. Another chance awaits at the end of this month.P.S.News of Episode 2 is coming next week. Until ...